View Full Version : May 2019 Columnist of the Month Contest - Benjamin Button Wins Again!

06-01-2019, 11:27 AM
Greeting, CF Fans!

Who's reading this part? Anyone? Probably not, so why bother coming up with something clever?

For anyone still reading, most of you know the drill by now but for any newcomers to the forum, full rules will follow. The short and long of it all is vote for who you think had the best work in the month! You can also vote for individual column as well.

Right, let's get to it!

The winner of the Columnist of the Month contest will receive the prize of having one column posted on the main page of LordsOfPain.net

1) The winner of Columnist of the Month is determined by which of the eligible columnists receives the largest amount of votes within the allotted voting period.

2). No voting for yourself.

3). You must vote for Columnist of the Month to be eligible to win. Should the person with the most votes not place a vote during the allotted timeframe, said person will be disqualified and the first runner up in terms of number of votes gained will be named the winner. One need not place a vote to be awarded single Column of the Month.

4). A columnist must have posted at least one column during the allotted time period in order to be eligible. Duh.

5). When voting, please name both the columnist and, if applicable, the title of their ongoing series in a bold and easily determined fashion. Makes it easier on us old mod folk to more clearly discern the votes, what with our cataracts and such.

6). Main page writers are ineligible to win either the Columnist or Column awards. The exception to this is if they were not called up until the next month. For instance, a writer who wrote stuff in April and was called up on May 3rd would still be eligible to win the April Columnist contest. The prize would just be a bit pointless, I guess. The reason that main page writers are ineligible to win the single Column award is simply because they could, and often do, post said column simultaneously on the main page. This is a CF award, so only CF writers are considered.

7). Please refrain from editing your vote once it is placed, so as to not fuck up the tally. Some circumstances, such as a noob vote for a main pager, are the only loopholes to this one and will be pointed out and handled by a moderator.

8). If a candidate is caught campaigning for CotM, either publicly or privately via PM or social media, they will be disqualified and quite possibly banned. Do your selling through your writing. Begging is lame.

9). Columns about columns (such as the State of the CF or End of Year CF Awards) are not eligible for COTM consideration and will not be counted in favor of their respective authors in the final tally for the month.

10). As it pertains to collaborations, there are a few variations that require clarification.
a) If it's a "tag team" style "traditional" collaboration (i.e.: ETA or The Power Trip or The Mega Column) then both members of the team must vote in order to claim victory as a team.
b) If a single columnist gathers a group of individuals for a "roundtable" collab, only the organizer of said series must vote in order to claim victory. For instance, if Jimmy McColumnGuyDuderson wants to break down the greatest jobbers of all time and asks two of his pals to help out, only Jimmy needs to vote in order to win the award should he garner enough votes since he is the blatant driving force, as opposed to the give and take equality of a "tag team" collab.
For the voters, if you wish to specifically vote for a "traditional" collab team, name both writers. If you wish to honor a "roundtable" collab, just name the organizer of said collab.

11) You cannot vote for a former main page writer until said writer is at least 4 months removed from their main page stint at the time of the voting period. For instance, if Writer McGee just left his main page spot in January and resumed writing in the CF, he is not eligible to win CotM until the May contest. This rule is included simply because it's kind of stupid to award a main page column to a writer who just gave up a gig in which the point was to post columns on the main page. If they wanted to be on the main page then they probably would've, you know, stayed on the main page. We get that the CF has a certain allure, what with the sense of community and ability to win awards from one's peers and all that, but let us not forget the reason why the CF exists in the first place. It's not to placate egos by handing out peer determined awards, it's to find writers for the Lords of Pain main page. If you've had that spot and chose to leave it, perhaps it's time that someone else got the opportunity to prove why they deserve a shot. This rule is only applicable to the COLUMNIST vote, not the single COLUMN vote.

12). In the event of a tie, regardless the number of people involved, the deadlock be broken by means of a re-vote with the tied parties as the only available candidates. Said re-vote will be three days long. If we still have a tie after that, fuck it, we've got two winners.

Benjamin Button
-The Fragments that Form Flair, the Greatest World Champion
-The Fragments that Form Flair, the Greatest World Champion: Becoming the Nature Boy
-The Fragments that Form Flair, the Greatest World Champion: Blood, Guts, and Chop Masters
-The Double or Nothing Casino

-Dynamite’s Dogman: Hotel WrestleMania
-Fact or Fiction: Forum Edition (w/various)

Kingzak13 (Kingzak presents)
-The Royal Experience: The Completely Defeated
-Money in the Bank 2019 Predictions
-Takeover 25 Predictions

Mizfan (The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan)
-Dead or Alive 2019: Final Battle
-A Retired Brain Is Busier Than Ever! (June ’91)
-Battle of the Devious (July ’91)

Mystic (Nick Aldis – The Rivalry Series)
-To Be the Bastard
-What’s She Doing Now?
-How Many Falls Does It Take?

RIPbossman (Hardtime)
-The Believability Of Shane McMahon
-Debunking the Myth That Charlotte Is Only Successful Because Of Ric Flair
-Triple H Turning Heel At WM 15 Was One Of The Smartest Moves Of His Career
-Hogan And Austin Had More Impact On Wrestling History Than The Rock

-AEW. Let’s see what you got

Don't forget to cast a vote for the Column of the Month gimmick as well. Just name which single column you felt was the best of the month. The actual Column of the Month. Just one. NOT AN ENTIRE SERIES. This will help make the process of voting for Column of the Year when it comes time for the Year End Awards that much easier, as well as give some well deserved props to someone who straight up knocked one out of the park in a given month.

Here are the columns posted in the last month for your consideration.

Voting ends on Saturday, June 8th at 11:59 PM (CST) / 9:59 PM (PST) / Whatever o'clock :59 (other weird time zones)

And with that, voting is now open!

Benjamin Button
06-01-2019, 10:41 PM
For Columnist...Going to go with Mystic for stellar work on Aldis + that beautiful piece on something no matter any of our differences we can relate to: Fandam.

But want to also say looking at Mizfan's work, I'm super impressed and Im going to shout out Battle of the Devious as my favorite single column.

Great work from RIPBossman, too! Good jouralist style writing

06-02-2019, 03:23 AM
Ben gets the double from me, both Columnist and Column for Double or Nothing Casino.

06-02-2019, 02:31 PM
Column : Mystic's What's She Doing Now? has stuck with me for days.
Columnist : Mizfan put out some great ones this month, DOA' finale was great, and the Bobby Heenan is always a highlight for me.

Big shout-out to Benjamin as well, the Double or Nothing Casino was a great read.

06-04-2019, 01:05 PM
Columnist: Benjamin Button
Column: Triple H Turning Heel At WM 15 Was One Of The Smartest Moves Of His Career by RIPbossman

06-04-2019, 11:01 PM
Ben Button for columnist. He's on a crazy run right now. Doing big things and in varied styles.
mizfan for retired Brain. I've since been wondering how we could create an active space in tribute to wrestlers and their quotes. It's that powerful what words can do and mean when it comes from a character who has creativity and authenticity.

06-05-2019, 01:21 PM
Thought everyone who wrote did very well this month, hard choice for between Benny, Ripper, and Shane. Think I gotta go with Benjamin Button for columnist, and I'll echo others who shouted out Double or Nothing Casino for column, I didn't think a prediction column could be so fun.

06-06-2019, 05:20 AM
Columnist: Benjamin Button

Column-A Retired Brain Is Busier Than Ever! (June ’91) by mizfan

Don Franc
06-07-2019, 02:43 PM
Columnist: Benjamin Button
Column: How many falls does it take?

06-08-2019, 04:50 PM
And that's another month! And this one is basically an avalanche, as for the second month in a row I'm here congratulating Benjamin Button! Now a 5 time winner, which puts him in company with only 9 other writers in LOP history. Congratulations!

For individual column, six different columns received votes, including those by Mystic and RIPBossman, but in the end the victory was split between our winner Ben's "Double or Nothing Casino" and my own "A Retired Brain Is Busier Than Ever!".

Congrats again to all the winners, and here's the voting breakdown for anyone who likes to keep track of such things:

Benjamin Button 6 votes
mizfan 1 vote
Mystic 1 vote

06-09-2019, 02:12 AM
5 Time 5 Time 5 Time 5 Time 5 Time congratulations

Benjamin Button
06-12-2019, 03:44 AM
5 Time 5 Time 5 Time 5 Time 5 Time congratulations

Thanks, Dynamite and thanks to all for another good month. I thought there were some really good columns from those who posted.

Congrats to Mizfan for the single column win. I kind of got lucky there to tie you, because between your two Heenan columns, you split your own vote!

The Double or Nothing column was a lot of fun. I did a spin on the review column back at Wrestle-Mania and wanted to try to do one on the prediction.

Had the guy go in there with 49999 dollars to represent the price of the pay per view. A lot of it was about, "did you get your money's worth?" But there were layered themes. It is kind of a gamble if the event was a bust. I did try to lose as many as I could, picking outcomes that I thought were senseless.

And, goddammit, I won.

I had an ending in mind where Ian would get word that Folly Rogers jumped off the New York Bridge, but alas, I actually came out with more money than I went in with. Therefore, I switched it to Folly was hustling Ian the entire time.

edit: I did have in mind when I wrote it that Folly Rogers was fucking with Ian House, because he was depressed and didn't mind losing his all his money. And there was a bit where he was fucking around with Ian by calling him a homophobic on some outlandish basis. Not bad for a prediction column, because this thing really came true with Jim Cornette being accused of homophobia on some sort of trumped up charges.

06-12-2019, 11:19 AM
The fact that so many layers went into what could have been a simple gimmick prediction column is part of why I love ya so much, Benny.