View Full Version : Columnist of the Month Contest - October 2019

11-01-2019, 03:16 PM
Greetings, CF! November is upon us, so it's time to look back at the month that was October. Our CF crew is a bit small this month, but once again the relative quality is hard to top as we have some great stuff to choose from. But you're not really reading this anyway, so let's get right to it!

If you’re new here or have never bothered to look over them before, the full rules are below – check them out first. If not, skip down, and you can find the list of eligible columns for the month. The basic gist, as you’re probably aware, is that you vote for the person you thought had the best month for columnist, and the best individual piece for column.


The winner of the Columnist of the Month contest will receive the prize of having one column posted on the main page of LordsOfPain.net

1) The winner of Columnist of the Month is determined by which of the eligible columnists receives the largest amount of votes within the allotted voting period.

2). No voting for yourself.

3). You must vote for Columnist of the Month to be eligible to win. Should the person with the most votes not place a vote during the allotted timeframe, said person will be disqualified and the first runner up in terms of number of votes gained will be named the winner. One need not place a vote to be awarded single Column of the Month.

4). A columnist must have posted at least one column during the allotted time period in order to be eligible. Duh.

5). When voting, please name both the columnist and, if applicable, the title of their ongoing series in a bold and easily determined fashion. Makes it easier on us old mod folk to more clearly discern the votes, what with our cataracts and such.

6). Main page writers are ineligible to win either the Columnist or Column awards. The exception to this is if they were not called up until the next month. For instance, a writer who wrote stuff in April and was called up on May 3rd would still be eligible to win the April Columnist contest. The prize would just be a bit pointless, I guess. The reason that main page writers are ineligible to win the single Column award is simply because they could, and often do, post said column simultaneously on the main page. This is a CF award, so only CF writers are considered.

7). Please refrain from editing your vote once it is placed, so as to not fuck up the tally. Some circumstances, such as a noob vote for a main pager, are the only loopholes to this one and will be pointed out and handled by a moderator.

8). If a candidate is caught campaigning for CotM, either publicly or privately via PM or social media, they will be disqualified and quite possibly banned. Do your selling through your writing. Begging is lame.

9). Columns about columns (such as the State of the CF or End of Year CF Awards) are not eligible for COTM consideration and will not be counted in favor of their respective authors in the final tally for the month.

10). As it pertains to collaborations, there are a few variations that require clarification.
a) If it's a "tag team" style "traditional" collaboration (i.e.: ETA or The Power Trip or The Mega Column) then both members of the team must vote in order to claim victory as a team.
b) If a single columnist gathers a group of individuals for a "roundtable" collab, only the organizer of said series must vote in order to claim victory. For instance, if Jimmy McColumnGuyDuderson wants to break down the greatest jobbers of all time and asks two of his pals to help out, only Jimmy needs to vote in order to win the award should he garner enough votes since he is the blatant driving force, as opposed to the give and take equality of a "tag team" collab.
For the voters, if you wish to specifically vote for a "traditional" collab team, name both writers. If you wish to honor a "roundtable" collab, just name the organizer of said collab.

11) You cannot vote for a former main page writer until said writer is at least 4 months removed from their main page stint at the time of the voting period. For instance, if Writer McGee just left his main page spot in January and resumed writing in the CF, he is not eligible to win CotM until the May contest. This rule is included simply because it's kind of stupid to award a main page column to a writer who just gave up a gig in which the point was to post columns on the main page. If they wanted to be on the main page then they probably would've, you know, stayed on the main page. We get that the CF has a certain allure, what with the sense of community and ability to win awards from one's peers and all that, but let us not forget the reason why the CF exists in the first place. It's not to placate egos by handing out peer determined awards, it's to find writers for the Lords of Pain main page. If you've had that spot and chose to leave it, perhaps it's time that someone else got the opportunity to prove why they deserve a shot. This rule is only applicable to the COLUMNIST vote, not the single COLUMN vote.

12). In the event of a tie, regardless the number of people involved, the deadlock be broken by means of a re-vote with the tied parties as the only available candidates. Said re-vote will be three days long. If we still have a tie after that, fuck it, we've got two winners.

Here is the list of eligible columns.

-Video Games vs Wrestling 2
-Hell in a Cell 2019 Predictions

Kleckamania (NXT Versus AEW)
-Same Old Smells From The Same Old Cooking (This Is A Smackdown!)
-Week 1 (Oct.2nd)- Who Won? And A Breakdown/What’s To Come
-Week 2 (Oct. 9th)- Who Won? And A Breakdown/What's To Come (W/Rankings!)
-Week 3 (Oct. 16th)- Who Won? And A Breakdown/What's To Come (W/Rankings & Taynara!!)
-Week 4 (Oct. 23rd)- Who Won? And A Breakdown/What's To Come (W/Rankings & An Orange Cassidy Sighting!!!)

-The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: Flair And The Brain Go To War! (Nov '91)

Prime Time
-Take Up Thy Wrestling Boots and Walk - When in the Course

-Hardtime: What Cain Velasquez's Signing Means To WWE

Spinmaster (Mizzie & The Spin's Total Non-Stop Wrestling Project)
-The Tricky Triangle of Abuse (w/mizfan)
-So Much Crap, So Little Time (w/mizfan)

TheLAW (Sorry! It’s TheLAW)
-MyWorld: The SmackDown Lo’Down! (RETURNS!)
-The One with the Asphyxia
-The One that Cost $749.99

Don't forget to cast a vote for the Column of the Month gimmick as well. Just name which single column you felt was the best of the month. The actual Column of the Month. Just one. NOT AN ENTIRE SERIES. This will help make the process of voting for Column of the Year when it comes time for the Year End Awards that much easier, as well as give some well deserved props to someone who straight up knocked one out of the park in a given month.

Voting ends on Friday, November 8th at 11:59 PM (CST) / 9:59 PM (PST) / Whatever o'clock :59 (other weird time zones)

And with that, voting is now open!

11-01-2019, 04:24 PM
Damn, I went a whole month without posting anything at all? Poor effort from me, do I win anti-columnist of the month?

Going to give TheLaw my vote on both counts, will pick The One that Cost $749.99, but really it could have been either of his columns creating new Laws.

11-01-2019, 05:09 PM
I vote for Dyno as Anticolumnist of the month!

Gotta give Kleck the vote for Columnist. His output was superb!

For column, I'm going to toss it to The Tricky Triangle of Abuse.

11-01-2019, 05:26 PM
Kleck for COTM

PT's When In The Course generated such great discussion so is the very clear column if the month for me.

11-04-2019, 03:08 PM
Super difficult choice between Kleck and LAW for me. I'll go with TheLAW but I think both guys are hugely deserving.

And in recognition of that, I'll vote for Kleck's Same Old Smells From The Same Old Cooking (This Is A Smackdown!) for individual column!

11-06-2019, 02:03 AM
Columnist- Kleck

Column- When in the Course by Prime

11-06-2019, 02:53 PM
Columnist: Kleckamania
Column: When in the Course by Prime Time

11-08-2019, 11:20 PM
Though one of his columns was a miss for me, I very much enjoyed the other two. Law is my pick for COTM. He was tapping into the angst I often love.

"Tricky Triangle Of Abuse" for column, from Spin and Mizzie. My HM for COTM.

Prime Time
11-09-2019, 07:18 AM
Well, the voting window has closed and here's your final tally, which show's it's a very close run-thing.

Kleck - IIII

And so Kleck, by one vote, wins his sixth COTM award.

And then for column,

PT, 'When in the Course' - III
Mizzie/Spin, 'Tricky Triangle' - II
Kleck, 'Same Old Smells' - I
Law, 'The One that Cost....' - I

So both contests go by the single vote, with Kleck and I take the awards.

Thanks to everyone for being involved this month, and to Mizzie for getting the ball rolling.

11-09-2019, 07:19 PM
That's what I get for voting for Kleck! Just kidding. Well deserved amigo. Hell of a month!

11-11-2019, 12:16 PM
Wow. I'm honored. Just puts the exclamation point on my favorite month of the year! Ty to everyone who voted for me or read- I was just having a surge in fandom and wanted to write about it. Its been a great time to be a fan the past 6 or so weeks.

Congrats to Prime as well!

And ty LAW! Keep writing man, you are on a roll!

Edit: who would I turn in the COTM column to when I'm done writing it? Or is that not a thing anymore?

11-11-2019, 12:18 PM
And thank you to Pete for wrapping this up! And congrats on that individual win!

And a BIG congrats to Kleck, who has been rocking it lately! And to Law, who I'm pretty sure set a new personal best for votes!

Exclamations! Enthusiasm!!

11-18-2019, 02:36 AM
Send it to me Kleck
Or just hit me up in the dm

Or as I've done with a few of the lads I can repost a column you've done recently. Up to you.