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View Full Version : LPW SuperCycle LIVE! From The Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, Louisiana! RESULTS



Macho Mourn
05-13-2018, 01:18 AM
[Re-post edit: The is 26.1]



pYromania

Rise up, gather round, rock this place to the ground

Burn it up, let’s go for broke, watch the night go up in smoke

Rock on! Rock on!

Drive me crazier

No Serenade, no fire brigade, just Pyromania!!

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131107220036/lpw/images/a/ac/Lpw_pyro_logo.png

and Insanity

Come inside now, I implore.
Do you think you can restore
The crucial pieces missing from my brain?
What seems to be the matter dear?
Why do you cry and shake with fear?
I've only had the best dub me insane.
Please let me out
Please let me out
Please let me…


http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131215052925/lpw/images/9/92/Lpw_insanity_logo.png

Present…

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140322200719/lpw/images/8/8e/Lpw_logo_large_wbg.png


LPW SuperCycle
LIVE! From The Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, Louisiana!

Orange and purple pyrotechnics go off as the cameras quickly pan the arena which is full of an unusual amount of signs.

Phoenix: We are live from the Big Easy. The atmosphere has been amazing for the last hour as the fans made their way to their seats. THE SUPERSHOW HAS RETURNED! This is Blazing Phoenix joined with pYromania’s ace color analyst Robert Lillehammer! What a wonderful evening of action we have in store.

Lillehammer: We have the tag team tournament starting tonight to find a number one contender worthy of facing pYromania’s best in Blaze and Justus.

Phoenix: That’s not all, we have a tremendous card highlighted by a killer main event where each and every one of our singles champions will be involved in a six man tag team extravaganza.

Lillehammer: If the pYro team wasn’t a group full of hot heads I would-

”Wolves of Winter” by Biffy Clyro brings out a boisterous ovation from the capacity crowd. Out walks Golden, World Heavyweight championship draped across his shoulder. Once positioned on the stage, pyrotechnics go off in the colors of the Irish flag.

Phoenix: This crowd on their feet for their new World Heavyweight Champion!

Lillehammer: Imbeciles. All of them.

Phoenix: Golden was victorious in an absolute classic against his former Sixx Karat Gold teammate. This is a grand moment for the young superstar.

Lillehammer: I’ll give the devil his due. He pulled that out with a determination that I didn’t know he had in him.

Golden steps up onto the apron, arms out wide, soaking in the atmosphere. He steps through the ropes with a wide, cocky grin while the crowd chants “Gol-den, Gol-den.”

Phoenix: Had something to do with it being a man who wronged him. Those wounds hit deep.

Golden: Thank you all for a great reception. As your NEW World Heavyweight Champion, I stand before you the unequivocal leader of the pYromania brand heading into this Supercycle. Whenever you all search the annals of your mind, you will remember where you were when I came out for the first time as… WORLD… HEAVYWEIGHT… CHAMPION!!!!

The crowd renews the chant, much to the delight of Golden.

Golden: It took five grueling, intensively tumultuous years to make it here to this exact moment, in front of you lovely people…people who know a little, as New Orleans’, about getting through tough times… and I want you to know... I see this as an opportunity. An opportunity for my name to be etched in history. As much as you guys may be happy with the position I am in, there are others in back that would gladly take advantage of the situation later tonight.

The crowd switches to booing…

Golden: Someone like Chris Austin who to this day still has his Mt. Vesuvius torch in tow. With that spectre looming above us at striking distance...

The lights go out in the building. As soon as the hush starts to build, the familiar guitar strums of Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” brings the crowd to a shocked frenzy. Out walks a black suit cladded Mourn Despana. With a stern nod to the crowd as he heads to the ring without breaking stride.

Phoenix: This crowd is on fire tonight as the Western States Heritage Champion is making his way to the ring.to an incredible ovation.

Lillehammer: I think it has more to do with the fact we have a foreigner in the ring. Maybe’s he’s here to punch the new champ in the mouth.

Mourn walks up onto the apron. He undoes his blazer to reveal the polished Western States Heritage Title around his waist. He steps through the ropes and the two men share a contentious stare. The crowd starts to chant “This is Awesome!” which Mourn is quick to wave his hands up to quash them.

Mourn: Ladies and gentlemen of the LPW congregation, if you... if it is not too much of a problem to our new World Champion, I wanted to be the first man to publicly come out and congratulate him on his monumental win. Congrats.

Mourn walks to the middle of the ring and extends his hand. Golden looks down shakes his head in disgust. Mourn brings his hands up and takes a step back.

Golden: Hello, Mourn! You veritable energy suck. We were having a good time, me and this beautiful audience. I’m surprised at your rudeness, if I’m honest. At you stepping foot in… my ring. But it is curious. You holding that title. Me holding this one. We’ve come a long way since the our battles over the Pu-

Mourn: You done?

Golden: I will be done when I say I am done.

The crowd lets out an “oooooooh” as Golden steps into the face of Despana.

*Pauses*

*Pauses*

Golden: Okay, I’m done. I’ll admit I am more than a little curious. Why did you come out here? Don’t seem like it was to congratulate an old mate.

Mourn: Maybe it was…

Golden: Despana, I know you. You run around acting like the moral majority in an attempt to be cordial. Your disdain for everyone isn’t worn on your sleeve but in your eyes as you and your high horse walk through that locker room.

Mourn: I do not…

Golden: You are elitist without warrant. You sit in silent judgment while trying your hardest to play all the cards at once. I imagine that silence stems from you not having your crazy little woman writing scripts for you any longer.

Mourn grows enraged and begins to yell.

Mourn: Every fucking time I make an effort to be kind to you, you go out of your way to prove my efforts fruitless!

Golden and the crowd recoil at the sudden intensity.

Golden: A curse word? Did I hit a nerve? The damned robot’s showing emotion! Someone check his circuits to see if there’s a short.

Golden playfully smiles at Mourn. Mourn slightly smirks while shaking off the anger.

Mourn: Funny. When I debuted in LPW, we both were following the wrong path. I took a detour and went about helping out my fellow man. What the rest of us call “growing up.” Willing to risk my career so that there is a company around for immoral fuckers like you. In a world as corrupt as this one, there are fewer men like me. Those who let their actions do the talking while standing for what we believe in. And a lot more like you. Second rate lady's men who believe that just because their mouths move, the sounds that come out have meaning.

Golden: Nothing’s second rate about me, mate.

Golden adjusts his title, flips his hair to one side.

Mourn: You are an unscrupulous vain individual masquerading as a hero who insists that he is my leader. Who the fuck do you think you are?

Golden: I think… rather… I know I am Champion, for one.

Mourn: That you are and so am I. I am tired of the idea that children look up to your fraudulent bravado. There were two reasons for me to come out here. The first was to actually congratulate you on a job well done. You beat the world champ and for that you deserve the accolades you are receiving.

Golden: Appreciate that. The other?

Mourn walks up to Golden, who doesn’t flinch, and they lock eye to eye.

Mourn: Simple bub. I want a piece of you. You said for me to ask you straight up, and I decided to do it in front of the whole world. There will be a day in which you and I will face a second time. The last time I dropped you your head and you ceased to move. Keep pissing me off and the next time you will not be so lucky.

Smitten: GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN!

Large boos emit from the crowd as both men look towards the tron where Christian G. Smitten is smiling from his backstage office.

Smitten: Gentlemen. This. This intrigues me. Mourn, you use “Eye of the Tiger” as your entrance theme. A song derived from a great boxing movie named Rocky III. I get it. You’re a fan of cheesy underdog stories. You stand in the ring with the man who says he’s the best. Your Apollo Creed. You see, as LPW is up for sale, a precious few shows are left before changes happen around here.. We need something to get people’s blood boiling. People to tune in during these tumultuous times for an escape. Do those of The Big Easy want this match?

The crowd starts cheering loudly.

Smitten: Then it’s settled. You two will face one-on-one to see which of you really is the one to lead the pYro brand into the future. But it won’t happen soon.

The boos that erupt causes Mourn to break his stoic face into an honest laugh while Golden stoically starts to process the whole thing.

Smitten: Mourn, your championship has been around for a very long time. With pYromania as the brand of rebirth, and the success of the DEEPNet championship, it is time to replace the venerable title. Rest assured, I won’t be stripping you. At the returning Honor Roll Pay-Per-View, World Heavyweight Champion Golden will face off with Western States Heritage Champion Mourn Despana with the winner leaving in possession of both championships. .

Mourn and Golden look to one another and share a brief, understanding glance at their rival as the crowd explodes into approval.

Phoenix: A BOMBSHELL! Looks to be a title unification.

Lillehammer: I’m floored!

Phoenix: After the break, we will be back in a moment with our first bout in the evening.

Macho Mourn
05-13-2018, 01:19 AM
Announcer: The following contest is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall.

Chaos: Now we’re on track for the first match of the night.

Lillehammer: I am all up hyped for the SUPERSHOW!

Chaos: I suppose we all are! Especially after an explosive beginning.

"Guerrilla Radio" by Rage Against the Machine hits the arena which brings the crowd to their feet, giving Thornridge a rousing welcome. Coming behind is a very energetic Bronx. The two are smiling and hi-fiving the crowd as they move to the ring.

Announcer: First, at a total combined weight of 438 lbs, here is BROOOONX, ‘THE AUSSIE CRUSADER’, STEVEN THORNGIIIDGE!

Chaos: Here comes the awesome pairing of Thornridge and Bronx. Have you heard? The 2 are rumoured to be joining up with none other than The Western State Heritage Champion Mourn Despana...

Lillehammer: Urgh, why would Mourn want to drag 2 deadweights around, I will never know.

Chaos: They aren’t dead-weight, that’s for sure. They’re PROFESSIONALS.

Lillehammer: Nothing is professional about these 2 goofballs. I mourn for Mourn.

Chaos: One could guess that the trio have been bonding over BBQ dinners and finding a common cause for justice.

Announcer: And their opponents…

"Hard Dark Evil Hip Hop" (instrumental) by NoodlesBeats blares through the speakers as the course of boos erupt from those in attendance.

Announcer: At a total combined weight of 458 lbs, The Cabal of Serpentus: RYLAND and Clarenceeeeee HOLTTTTT!

Lillehammer: Justice? Cabal will serve Thorny justice to his face while Bronx watches on helplessly. The Cabal has been reigning in terror for some time now in LPW, and tonight's no exception. Ryland and Holt look like they are ready for some ass-kicking.

Chaos: Most importantly, they are here to prove the Cabal’s dominance.

Lillehammer: The bell rings, and this tag team contest is underway. Thorny is starting the match...

Chaos: Great agility! Holt charges forward with no warning and kick to the mid-section of Thornridge, who was too distracted winking at Bronx. Holt tries to out muscle his opponent but Thornridge twist Holt with an arm ringer followed by a top wristlock. Woah! Another big kick to the midsection by Holt.

Lillehammer: Impressive counter.

Chaos: He follows the momentum with an irish whip to the corner. Elbow to the face by Thornridge!

Lillehammer: Thornridge is grabbing his arm…

Chaos: And a vertical suplex! Holt recovers quickly but a clothesline by Thorny sends Holt to the mat. Thorny readies for another suplex but Ryland now with a thumb to the eye!

Lillehammer: That is one way to get a hold broken.

Chaos: Holt circles around and a boot to the ankle of The Crusader. Thornridge quickly squirms to a rope to bring himself up. Clubbing blow to the back by a persistent Holt. He tags in Ryland. Ryland going up the top rope, and Holt is holding Thorny for the double team!

Lillehammer: Thornridge moves out of the way and Ryland just smashes Holt across the face! What a sneaky snake that Aussie is….

Chaos: Look, Thornridge with a big clothesline tipping Holt to the outside. Belly to back suplex on Ryland. THE TAG TO BRONX!

Lillehammer: Bronx with a big running dropkick to the face of Ryland. Holt is recovering at the apron…. Bronx cheated! He dropkicks Holt on the ropes and Holt flew across, hitting the barricade on the outside!

Chaos: The crowd is on their feet! What is Bronx thinking? What speed,running the ropes towards Holt for a dive. OH! Ryland intercepted with a boot! But Bronx recovered with a school boy roll up on Ryland...

One…

Two…


Kick out!

Lillehammer: What a childish useless move by Bronx.

Chaos: Bronx tagging in Thornridge. Thornridge with a big forearm to Ryland! What are they planning here, both men grabbing Ryland? A double suplex! Here’s the cover by Thornridge!

One…

Two…


And Holt rushes in to break the count.

Lillehammer: LOOK! Bronx and Thornridge dropkicking both Ryland and Holt to the outside of the ring! What are they going to do?

Chaos: Wow! The duo runs to the ropes in high velocity….. FLYING dive on the Cabal on the outside!

Lillehammer: What is the Cabal doing!? They seem out of sorts, losing to a team of misfits!

Chaos: TAC and Bronx carrying Ryland back into the ring!

Lillehammer: Wake up, Ryland, wake up quick!

Chaos: Watch out! Bronx bounces the ropes, rolls, Photon Cannon Def Sentence! What a move!

Lillehammer: What a stupid name!

Chaos: Thornridge climbing to the top rope! DIVING ELBOW DROP ONTO THE BACK OF RYLAND!!! Thornridge with the cover!!!

ONE...

TWO...


THREE!

It’s over!

Announcer: Here are your winners, and moving along to the #1 contender’s match, BROOONX and STEVEN THORNRIDGEEEE!!!

Bronx & Steven Thornridge: 3.65 + 3.7 APS + 1.5 Votes = 8.85 Total
Ryland: & Clarence Holt: 0 + 3.1APS + 0 Votes = 3.1 Total

"Guerilla Radio" by Rage Against the Machine plays as Bronx and Thorny get their hands raised. Holt is shown looking bitterly disappointed.

Lillehammer: WHAT NONSENSE! THESE TERRIBLE BOYS STOLE THE MATCH!

Chaos: Be professional about it, Lillehammer, they won fair and square. Looks like the friendship with Mourn help elevated their game. They are the first of two teams to punch their ticket.

Lillehammer: Travesty of justice, the Cabal failed. I can’t believe it.

Chaos: And we are off to a great start in the tournament to find a #1 contender for the tag titles.


Maverick: YOU!! YES!! YOU!!

We open up with The David Maverick holding a mobile phone towards the camera with the LPW network app shown on screen with all of the glorified content you can grave which would make certain competitors quake in their boots.

Maverick: THE David Maverick would like to take this brief opportunity to warn you NOT TO TORRENT THIS MAGNIFICENT GLORIFIED SUPERCYCLE SHOW but to instead get your Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge out of your trouser pocket…yes The David Maverick is well aware other mobile suppliers are available but that’s beside the point I’M TELLING YOU TO GET OUT YOUR PHONE NOW!! YES!! NOW!!

Go to your google or apple or whatever app store you can find and download the LPW NETWORK FOR ONLY NINE NINETY NINE!! YES THE David Maverick is correct, in fact he’s always correct. Nine dollars and ninety nine cents! What do you get on the LPW Network may The David Maverick ask?

Let The David Maverick tell you immediately you get…:



Every single archived episodes of LPW Pyromania and LPW Insanity episodes including PWA Schizophrenia and PWA Pyromania old episodes.


LPW Supercycle shows including this one that you are viewing right now a day after live transmission from your local international and national television networks. That’s right, if you are stupid enough to miss an LPW supercycle episode because your sweet darling partner wanted to pop out to a local seven eleven because they forgot to feed the cat or something along those lines. You can watch this episode and future supercycle episodes a day after live transmission. Not one year, not one mouth, a day after live transmission. Impressive.


Every SINGLE PAY PER VIEW LIVE AND UNINTERRUPTED!! YES UNINTERRUPTED!! No PPI adverts to interrupt a tag team matchup of The David Maverick and Ozzy Crerar. In fact you can even watch older PPVs including the last Altered Reality that you missed out on because you were too scared to spend $60 on a Pay Per View event that you so desperately wanted to watch.


Original programming including LPW Vertigo, Down for the Count with Jepson Cook, how to rap with DeSean Connery, Playcalling 101 with Robert Lillehammer and Mass Chaos. There are also documentaries including ““Step into the Flame” a cYn resolution”, “Class Dismissed with the Radical Chris Austin” and ““All about that Trombone” A Tromboner Man Legacy”.


The entire Full Metal Wrestling library in the palm of your hands. Yes every single show, PPV and original content from Full Metal Wrestling in one section.



The list goes on and on so don’t delay download this incredible app now and subscribe to the LPW Network NOW!! YES!! NOW!! DO IT!!

Macho Mourn
05-13-2018, 01:23 AM
”It’s Not My Time” by 3 Doors Down hits, signalling the start to the next match.

Phoenix: This next match is a mix of young and old LPW Wrestlers who could all be looking for a win here. In the ring already is Leon Caprice, his music pumping throughout the arena.

Next, “Suicide Note Part II” by Pantera blasts and the sometimes fan favorite, Trey Spruance happily walks to the ring, ready for action.

Lillehammer: Trey, of course, looks to be in a fantastic mood as expected.

Phoenix: Why is that expected, partner?

Lillehammer: Because we’re in the Big Easy, BP! Drugs are in high supply ‘round these parts.

Phoenix: I sincerely hope that that’s not the case.

Announcer: Coming to the ring next, from London, England, this… is… TREY SPRUANCE!

”You’re the Best Around” by Joe Esposito begins to play and through a chorus of boos comes out from the back Chris Paradise accompanied by the intimidating helper, Enyo.

Phoenix: I’m just hoping that Paradise’s helper stays out of this match, honestly.

Lillehammer: She’s around to help him! You’re being handicap-phobic!!

Phoenix: I don’t think that’s what I’m being! Nor do I think that’s a word. I just want a clean, fair contest for all involved. And Paradise has shown he’s not above taking advantage of his… predicament… I’m gonna shut up now.

”Working Class Man by Jimmy Barnes begins to blast through the arena, as do the cheers and adulation of Joe Citizen’s fans. He comes out of the back excited, jumping up and down and clapping hands with those at ringside. As he walks down the ramp, he points towards the upper deck cheap seats where the camera shows the rafters rumbling as they celebrate their everyman hero.

DING DING DING

Phoenix: All four men in the ring now as they square off in all four corners. Paradise says something and all turn their attention towards him. Trey shoots back with a quip and Citizen can be seen smiling.

Lillehammer: These first moments are always so crucial. You see who will be focusing on who here and-

Phoenix: And they all attack Citizen! He stumbles back into the corner as Paradise, Spruance, and Caprice all turn their attention towards the fan favorite. Spruance puts the boots on him while Paradise rains down lefts and rights.

Lillehammer: A sound strategy, if we’re honest. Try to get both the crowd and the self-righteous Citizen out of the match early.

Phoenix: But it looks like the partnership might be short lived, as Leon is already screaming at Paradise iot let him get in to put some work in. Paradise turns around and tells Leon to screw off. Caprice turns Paradise around and OH! Paradise pushes Leon down onto his bottom and turns back around to lay waste to Citizen!

Lillehammer: But a light sit-down like that won’t keep Leon down for long! He’s up and…

Phoenix: SLING BLADE! Leon drops Paradise, who rolls out of the ring. Caprice follows him to the outside. Trey continues to put the boots on Citizen, but that’s now a one on one fight.

On the outside, Caprice celebrates as Paradise begins to come to his senses.

Lillehammer: Watch for Enyo!

Phoenix: Of course! She’s always watching like a hawk. And OH! Inside the ring, Citizen is fighting back against Spruance! He’s up to his feet! Trey is staggering back! A left! A right! A--OH! A knee to the midsection by Spruance and Citizen is right back down to the mat.

Meanwhile, on the outside, Paradise is being picked up by Caprice.

Phoenix: As we said, Leon is keeping a sharp eye on Paradise’s Helper, but in doing so can’t quite attack as fast as he’d want against “The Crippled Crusader”. Leon goes to whip Paradise into the stairs! Paradise goes running and WHOA! Enyo kicked the ring stairs out of the way! She catches Paradise and stabilizes him up to his feet!

Lillehammer: Incredibly intelligent move there by the manager!

Phoenix: I can’t even be mad at that, to be honest! Paradise and Caprice in a staredown now. Meanwhile, Spruance is just toying with Citizen in the ring, slapping the back of his head as he tries to get to his feet. Paradise and Caprice testing each other, seeing who will attack first. Paradise puts one arm up for a test of strength… Caprice wearily goes to accept and… POKE TO THE EYE!!! DIRTY!!!

Lillehammer: Again… smart!

Phoenix: Caprice bent over with an ailing eye, Paradise takes hold! SPIKE DDT ON THE OUTSIDE!

The crowd lets out an audible “OHHHHH” as Leon’s skulls crunches against the outside flooring.

Phoenix: And inside the ring Spruance is laying some knife edge chops into Citizen who… BLOCKS! Turns the table and begins laying lefts and rights into the body of a corner Spruance. But here comes Paradise! He goes to grab Citizen who… HEARD HIM COMING! Citizen turns around and lays a haymaker into the face of Paradise who stumbles back! Citizen follows him forward, a left! A right! A left! He bounces off the ropes and OHHHH! Spruance out of nowhere spears Citizen, who rolls out of the ring coughing and holding his ribs.

Lillehammer: So far the numbers game has been the great equalizer for the resilient Citizen.

Phoenix: And inside the ring, Trey lets out a mighty holler to the outside ring towards Citizen. Spruance turns around and is immediately attacked by a waiting Paradise! Overhead suplex! Spruance bounces off the canvas and gets back up! He runs towards the Crusader, who uses his crutches to duck under a clothesline! Paradise bounces off the ropes and delivers a short-arm clothesline to Spruance! Trey gets back up! Rolling armdrag! Trey bounces back up! Paradise uses the crutch to take a charging Spruance down to one leg. He delivers a kick to Trey’s right side. His left. Spruance down on both knees. Paradise gets a running starts and… CRIP-TONIGHT!!! That Shining Wizard connects flush! A pin!

ONE… TWO… BROKEN UP BY CAPRICE!

Lillehammer: And Paradise is not happy about it. He gets right back up! Leon is backing away. But Paradise is about to show him just how big a mistake that might have been.

Phoenix: Paradise charges! Caprice is able to roll out of the way, though! Paradise stumbles… Leon takes ahold of Paradise from behind! Goes for a Suplex but The Crippled Crusader is able to block it! Leon tries again! Failure! Paradise breaks the grip! Gets behind Leon! Tables turned! GERMAN SUPLEX INTO A BRIDGE! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT!

Lillehammer: SO CLOSE, MAN!

Phoenix: And Paradise doesn’t waste any time! He hooks the leg, the arm… CEREBRAL PALSY STRETCH!! And Caprice is crying out in agony! BUT TREY SPRUANCE IS UP! He grabs ahold of Paradise, breaking the hold before Caprice can tap, and DUDES DDT!!!!!!! ONE… TWO….

Lillehammer: CITIZEN BREAKS UP THE PIN!

Phoenix: And now HE doesn't waste anytime! He takes Spruance and BLUE COLLAR DREAM! But Trey won’t go down easy! He thrashes and fights and… ENYO IS ON THE APRON! SHE PULLS DOWN THE TOP ROPE AND… CITIZEN AND SPRUANCE TUMBLE TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING! NO! NO!!!

Lillehammer: Brilliant! Both men crash to the concrete siding and now is the chance for the Crippled Crusader to ride again!

Phoenix: Indeed Paradise is up! Caprice is to a knee! Leon gets a running start and CRIP-TONIGHT! The pin! One… two… three!!! He steals this one!

Announcer: The winner of this match… “The Crippled Crusader” Chris Paradise!!!!!

Chris Paradise: 3.75 APS + 1.0 Votes = 4.75 Total
Trey Spruance: 2.7 APS + .4 Votes = 3.1 Total
Joe Citizen: 2.7 APS + .1 = 2.8 Total
Leon Caprice: 0 APS + 0 Votes = 0 Total

Phoenix: I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that he’s stolen this hotly contested match.

Lillehammer: What do you mean you can’t believe it? You even warned against it before the match!

Phoenix: I just… disappointed, I guess. Hell of a showing for both Citizen and Spruance but… Paradise and his quote-unquote Helper commit highway robbery to take this one.

Lillehammer: Your self-righteousness isn’t needed. He won. Get over it. Accept it. Seems like something this whole Country has trouble doing.

Phoenix: Let’s… yeah. We’ll be back.

Macho Mourn
05-13-2018, 01:25 AM
Phoenix: And now……

Announcer: Standing in the ring already… from right here… New Orleans, Louisiana… standing at 133 pounds… JEROME BELLSWORTH!

Lillehammer: And the crowd goes mild!

Phoenix: Fun fact about James Bellsworth here… due to a birth defect… the man has two skulls. Maybe that can help him here tonight.

Lillehammer: You know what they say, any man with two skulls has a fighting chance.

From the back walks Caitlin Bennett, microphone in hand. The crowd cat calls and whistles the newcomer to LPW. She lifts the microphone and speaks…

Caitlin: Hello, New Orleans!!!!

The crowd cheers.

Caitlin: I just have to say how much of a pleasure it isn’t to be here tonight in this disgusting, filthy, rat infested cesspool you call a City.

The cheers turn to boos… quickly.

Caitlin: To be honest with all of you.. I always wanted to enjoy Mardi Gras when I was younger… which is why I felt disappointed when your city was underwater… but after visiting here today… I truly wish FEMA hadn’t ever showed up.

The boos turn into venomous attacks, shouts the you wouldn’t want children at home to hear are bleeped out.

Caitlin: Now, of course, it’s a happy occasion since we are here celebrating the return of THE GREATEST LPW Superstar of ALL TIME… Vagrants and Misanthropes… crash your fat fingers together to welcome back… JEFF WATSON!!!!

”Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard hits and the crowd pops at the returning Jeff Watson who comes out from the back like a bullet from a gun and, with his head down, cuts a quick pace to the ring where the awaiting Jerome Bellsworth begins to look nervous.

Lillehammer: There he is, BP! After a long lay off, and maybe some soul searching, Jeff Watson is back in LPW and looks… determined!

Phoenix: I cannot deny that. He’s always been a man who’s cared what the fans think of him. Now it seems he couldn’t care le-OHHHHH! AS SOON AS HE GOT IN THE RING!!! A HUGE LARIAT FROM WATSON TO BELLSWORTH WHO NEVER SAW IT COMING!

Lillehammer: Might’ve crushed his chin right into his jaw!

Phoenix: Watson is allowing poor Jerome Bellsworth no time to breath. He’s right back on him, lifting the limp body into the corner turnbuckle and screaming something into his face. Watson takes a lap around the ring and runs towards Bellsworth and RAMS right into him with that big frame.

Lillehammer: It certainly does seem like Watson has put on a few pounds of muscle.

Phoenix: I would say a little more than a few! Jerome stumbles forward, he doesn’t know where he is at this point, a Watson grabs him! But Bellsworth is able to push Watson off! The young man sends a right hand to the jaw of Watson!

Lillehammer: Send it in, Jerome!

Phoenix: But Watson is unfazed! In a rage, he snatches Bellsworth and… DDT!!!!!

The crowd begins to boo, to which Jeff Watson pays them no mind.

Lillehammer: Thank the Lord for those two skulls! Or Jerome would be a deadman right now.

Before Bellsworth can even settle on the mat, Watson is picking him back up into a fireman's carry.

Lillehammer: We all know this move!

Phoenix: THERE IT IS! CYCLONE DROP!!! And this one is… no! Watson isn’t going for the pin! He grabs the defenseless leg of Jerome Bellsworth and… UNBEARABLE PAIN! And Bellsworth is crying in agony as Watson continues to twist that ankle. Oh my God! The man is unhinged!

Obviously, Bellsworth is tapping. This one is over.

DING DING DING!!

Announcer: The winner of this matc-...

Lillehammer: And he doesn’t look like he’s going to stop!

Phoenix: The referee is screaming, pleading with Watson to stop. From the back pour out a half dozen other LPW officials! Mass Chaos is in the ring, screaming at Watson to break the hold!

Lillehammer: And meanwhile, Caitlin laughs at the outside, happy as a clam to see this display of malice.

Phoenix: The match official yells something outside the ring… what did he say???

Announcer: Uh… The referee has decided that, due to the actions of Jeff Watson… this match is… a No Contest.

Inside the ring, Watson grows even more irate at the announcement. He drops the hold on Bellsworth, who screams a final time as his leg is freed, and turns his attention towards the officials. Caitlin rolls in the ring and backs him off. Mass Chaos stands at the forefront, screaming at Watson to calm down.

Phoenix: It looks like Caitlin was able to soothe the temper of Watson. They’re now exiting the ring, thankfully. Here come the medical staff to check on this poor kid who was just embarrassed in front of his hometown crowd. We’re going to let them work on him. We’ll be back

Macho Mourn
05-13-2018, 01:27 AM
Phoenix: Welcome back. It’s time for the next round in our tag team tournament.

Announcer: The following is a first round LPW tag team tournament match. Introducing first, the team of The David Maverick and Ozzy Crerar!

"The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie" by Red Hot Chili Peppers returns the crowd to cheers as Ozzy Crerar and David Maverick enter the arena, slapping hands with fans as they go past. They slide into the ring, and prepare for action.

Phoenix: Fresh off of their near surprise win over the tag champs, this new team is looking to build on their previous attempt at victory

Lillehammer: You do realize that Maverick is on this team. Your Insanity guys may have three of the contestants in the match, but Ozzy has pYromania talent on his side so they have the advantage.

Announcer: And their opponents. First, From Gasport New York, Caeser Osiris!

“Never Learn Not To Love” by the Beach Boys starts to play across the speakers, as the icy veined Caesar Osiris enters the arena to a chorus of boos.

Lillehammer: Last time we saw Osiris he came within inches of taking the title off of Chris Austin, a matchup that was remarkably close, tonight Osiris sets his sights on gold of a different variety, the Tag Team Championship.

Phoenix: I can’t help but notice Osiris and his new partner Kazama are entering separately. In a lot of ways Osiris is reaping what he’s sewn. Kazama is only here BECAUSE Osiris took out his protege Gavin O’Connor before his match for the title. We’re hearing that Gavin O’Connor is on the shelf for an extended period time. We here at LPW wish him a speedy recovery.

Osiris walks down the ramp, and looks into the ring. Osiris takes another step forward, shaking his hands loose, and psyching himself up, when suddenly his theme abruptly cuts out. [n]“Not Gonna Die” by Skillet starts to play across the speakers as the debuting Matthew Kazama steps out from behind the curtain. The camera cuts back to Osiris, who is visibly furious. Osiris walks back up the ramp, and shoves Kazama right in the chest. Kazama doesn’t budge, and pushes back, Osiris trips, and falls on his ass. [/b]

Phoenix: Well these guys aren’t off to a good start.

Osiris stands back up, and charges for Kazama right away. The two men tumble over, and start throwing fists at each other, jockeying for position. The referee, Ozzy and Maverick all stand in the ring dumbfounded. Ozzy turns to Maverick, and both men share a shrug. They roll out of the ring, and toward the battling pair.

Lillehammer: This match hasn’t even started yet, and we’ve already seen a brawl! How are Kazama and Osiris going to win if they can’t get on the same page?

Phoenix: I don’t think anyone is enjoying this more than Ozzy and Maverick.

Ozzy and Maverick inch closer to the brawl, careful not to interrupt, and give away the advantage. Suddenly Kazama throws Osiris off of him, and the two have a sudden moment of clarity, where they see Ozzy and Maverick staring down at them, puzzled. Osiris mouths the word “Shit” as Ozzy starts laying into him with boots, and Maverick does the same with Kazama. Ozzy forces Osiris to his feet, and Maverick follows suit with Kazama, and starts to drag him toward the ring. The pair of rivals are rolled into the ring, and their opponents follow them in. The bell rings, and this one is underway.

Phoenix: The referee is wisely trying to get this under control. He’s sending Osiris and Maverick to their respective tag ropes. Osiris flips the middle finger to Kazama as he passes. It looks like Kazama is starting this one off, much to the dismay of Caeser Osiris.

Lillehammer: Kazama starts off with a chop to the chest, and Ozzy staggers back. Ozzy comes back on the assault though with a chop of his own, that knocks Kazama backwards.

Phoenix: Let’s keep in mind Kazama is no rookie, he’s a world travelled veteran, who has finally made his way to LPW.

Lillehammer: and all it took was someone putting his protege on the shelf. Osiris should have done this months ago! Look at Kazama go!

Kazama reels back on the ropes, but rebounds and comes blazing forward toward Ozzy with swift kicks to the side of his legs. Ozzy goes down on one knee, and Kazama hits the ropes again. As he hits them, Osiris tags himself in. Kazama doesn’t pay it any mind, and connects to Ozzy with a dropkick to the chest.

Osiris pulls Kazama up to his feet, and rolls him out of the ring with force. Osiris starts to scoop Ozzy up, but Ozzy fires at him with a punch to the shoulder. Osiris turns back, but Ozzy is there to rebound off, going for a pin attempt, which Osiris quickly kicks out of. Ozzy reaches his feet, and connects with a rolling elbow to the jaw of the now kneeling Caeser Osiris.

Lillehammer: Osiris just got rocked!

Phoenix: With Osiris down, Ozzy tries to lock in the figure four leg lock! Osiris reaches toward the ropes, but he’s far away.

Kazama is back on his feet, and has made his way back up the tag rope. As Osiris reaches toward the ropes, Kazama leans into the ring and tags himself in, with Osiris’s outstretched hand. He hits the middle rope, and launches himself backward, vaulting himself across both bodies, breaking the hold.

Phoenix: Kazama is showing no regard for his tag team partner, or his opponent! He just collided with both men!

Lillehammer: Osiris wisely rolls out of the ring, but Ozzy is still in Kazama’s sights. Kazama comes at him again, and catches him with an enziguri to the back of the head.

Ozzy flops down, and Kazama tries to pick him up. Ozzy is slammed to the mat once again with a snap suplex. Kazama rushes Ozzy into the corner, where Maverick makes the tag. Kazama starts striking Ozzy, while Maverick drops down and slides into the ring behind his opponent.

Lillehammer: Maverick with a snap suplex of his own! Ozzy has his wits about him, and goes up to the top rope!

With Ozzy on the top rope, he leaps off, and lands on top of Kazama with a massive leg drop. Ozzy rolls back out of the ring, and Maverick continues the attack.

Phoenix: Maverick is an experienced brawler, you’ve got to think that Maverick and Ozzy have the advantage, not just because of the hostility between Osiris and Kazama, but because they have a history of working together as a unit.

Lillehammer: Indeed. And we’re starting to see that now, with Maverick back in control. Maverick mounts Kazama and starts connecting with forearm shots to the jaw!

Phoenix: Maverick backs up, and tags Ozzy back in. Has he had enough time to recover?

Lillehammer: I don’t know how much he’ll need! Ozzy climbs up to the top turnbuckle, and climbs atop Mavericks shoulders! What is he thinking!?

Phoenix: Ozzy is standing on Maverick, launches himself off! Rolling Senton from on top of Maverick! He gets all of it! Maverick is out of the ring, Ozzy goes for the cover!

1!

2!


NO!

Lillehammer: Ozzy is back on his feet, hits the ropes for momentum, and drops Kazama with a seated dropkick!

Ozzy springs back up, and heads to his corner, tagging in Maverick while Kazama is prone on the ground.

Phoenix: Maverick is back on the attack. He picks up Kazama…He might be going for the Maverick Bomb!

As Maverick goes to twist Kazama up for the Maverick Bomb, Kazama grabs his his opponent's head with his legs, and drives him face first into the ground.

Phoenix: Got him! Kazama is back in the hunt. He hits the ropes, hoping to strike with a running knee, but Maverick ducks out of the way!

As Maverick ducks, Kazama stops, and turns, twisting his leg above his head with a Pele Kick, that floors his opponent.

Lillehammer: Pele kick! The educated feat of Matthew Kazama have struck, and Maverick has no idea where he is!

Maverick struggles to stand, but Kazama ducks lower, winding up with a roundhouse kick. He drives his foot right into the side of the face of Maverick, and for a moment it hangs in the air, before Maverick falls to the ground. Kazama falls on top of him covering him for the pin.

Phoenix: COVER!


1!

2!


NO!

Maverick kicks out! Kazama rises and hits the ropes again, but as he does, Osiris tags himself in!

Lillehammer: Kazama had Maverick right where he wanted him! He’s stunned! He had all the momentum he needed! The referee forces the protesting Kazama out, as Osiris starts striking with elbows to the neck and chin.

Phoenix: Osiris is a bit fresher, but Kazama had really built up a great deal of momentum.

Lillehammer: Osiris jams his knee into the back of his opponent, and spreads his arms wide, and turns him to face Ozzy. Osiris has that sinister grin on his face.

Phoenix: Despicable.

Lillehammer: Suddenly Osiris drops the hands, but grabs his neck, and drags him down! What a quick movement. Osiris rolls him down, heads to the middle rope, and launches himself off with a running start. Osiris drops Maverick with a running knee strike to the chest. Maverick rolls backwards, turning over, but Osiris continues his assault with an elbow drop.

Osiris picks himself up, and drops an elbow on top of his downed opponent, then immediately picks himself up again, and does the same. He repeats this several times, dropping down with repeated elbow strikes right on the chest. He climbs back up, takes a step back, and finishes the set with one long leaping elbow drop.

Osiris hits the ropes again, and connects with a baseball slide, driving Maverick out of the ring. Osiris rises to his feet, and gets into the face of Ozzy who is standing at ringside. Osiris starts yelling his his face, and reaches out to slap him, which Ozzy ducks away from. Ozzy tries to enter the ring, but as he does, the referee gets in his way, blocking his entrance. Ozzy starts screaming at the ref, as Osiris backs away casually, rolling out of the ring, and tending to Maverick, while the ref’s back is turned.

Lillehammer: What is Osiris doing!?

Phoenix: He’s got Maverick on his shoulders! Power bomb to the ring post!

Lillehammer: Maverick is down! Ozzy is freaking out, telling the ref to turn around, but the referee is still focused on Ozzy, who is now screaming at the ref!

Phoenix: Osiris grabs onto Maverick, and drives him back first into the barricade! Maverick looks hurt! Osiris walks over to Maverick, and kicks his head under his boot. Whats this!?

Kazama is now getting in Osiris’s way. He’s telling Osiris to get back into the ring, and to leave him alone. The ref has turned around, and notices the two of them arguing, and that the action has spilled out of the ring.

Lillehammer: Finally the ref is getting some control, things seem to be combusting quickly between Kazama and Osiris! Osiris tells Kazama to move, but Kazama won’t! Osiris shoves him back, but Kazama barely moves!

Osiris looks shocked as Kazama barely budged an inch. Kazama shakes his head, and then shoves Osiris back again. Osiris falls to the ground, but quickly picks himself up. The veins in Osiris’s neck and face are bulging, he is enraged, his jaw wide open, screaming in the face of his tag team partner. In the ring, the referee has started to count, and Maverick is back up on his feet, staring at both of his opponents, who are close together.

Lillehammer: What is Maverick thinking? He better get back into the ring!

Phoenix: Maverick charges, and takes both men down with a chop block to the knees! All three of them are down, and the referee climbs out of the ring himself to get a closer look. Everyone is down, but Osiris and Maverick are legal.

Lillehammer: It looks like the referee has determined that nobody is injured, he’s back in the ring, and the count continues. He’s up to five, but already all three men have started to stir. Maverick is the first to roll in, followed by Osiris. Maverick reaches out to make the tag, but Osiris grabs him by the leg and pulls him back.

Phoenix: This could be it! Osiris is going for the Hail Caeser! He’s got him locked in!

Lillehammer: Not tight enough! Maverick pushes Osiris up, and over, with a back flip! Maverick reaches over to make the tag!

On the outside, Kazama has found his way to the other side of the ring, where Ozzy is standing, hand outstretched, ready to make a tag. Kazama runs, and drives his feet onto the ring apron, and Ozzy falls down, unable to make the tag. As he falls, Kazama grabs his head, and connects with a DDT to the ring apron. Ozzy is out cold! The referee sticks his head out of the ring to look at him.

Lillehammer: Good lord! The precision of Matthew Kazama! Pinpoint accuracy!

Phoenix: And of course Maverick looks lost! Nobody is there to make the tag! Osiris grabs him in a full nelson, but Maverick struggles, and pushes with all his force, shoving Osiris back into his own corner.

Lillehammer: Here comes Kazama though! Kazama grabs both ropes in his corner! He’s going for a running knee. The Knee Plus! Osiris is still holding on to Maverick though! He’ll go right through both of them!

Osiris doesn’t see it coming, he’s still holding onto Maverick with the full nelson, but Kazama connects with force, to David Maverick. The momentum knocks them both backwards, and Osiris falls down, practically knocked out.

Lillehammer: I think that he did just as much damage to Osiris as he did to Maverick! Osiris is out!

Phoenix: Kazama though, shoves the prone body of Caeser Osiris on top of David Maverick, and rolls out of the ring, just as the referee turns his attention back to the ring. He immediately goes to count the pin.

1

2

3!

Announcer: Here are your winners, and moving along to the #1 contender’s match,, Caeser Osiris and Matthew Kazama!

Matthew Kazama & Caesar Osiris: 3.63 + 4.1 APS +.6 Votes = 8.31 Total
The David Maverick & Ozzy Crerar: 3.0 + 3.9 APS + .9 Votes = 7.8 Total

As "Never Learn Not to Love" by The Beach Boys fills the arena, Kazama looks on shocked as the ref rings the bell.

Lillehammer: Good God, they actually managed to pull it off! Matthew Kazama and Caeser Osiris have advanced, and will have to work together again!

Phoenix: I don’t think either man is thrilled at the prospect of working together again, but they’re going to have to. Unbelievable.

Osiris has started to stir, but Kazama is already heading up the ramp, not waiting to celebrate with his partner. The referee tries to raise Osiris’s hand, but he shoves him away, instead focused on screaming threats at Kazama for putting his hands on him.

Lillehammer: Hold on plebs. We will be right back in a moment for singles competition.


Bronx and Jonathan Crotchman are shown sitting on fold out chairs in the locker room, Bronx sporting the after effects of the tag match earlier on in the night.

Bronx: The way things went down tonight, man I'm happy to have him as a partner.

Crotchman: Speaking of which, where is he or Mourn for that matter?

Bronx: Mourn’s getting ready for tonight. He said he had some professional business to att-

Both Bronx and Crotchman turn their respective attentions to the open door as Steven Thornridge walks in with a towel over his shoulders and a huge platter of assorted hotdogs, grabbing a chair and unfolding it with one hand, resting the platter on the seat.

Thornridge: Sorry, did I interrupt something? I was just out getting some victory dogs for us, and a pre-match hot dog for Mourn.

Crotchman: Okay, that accounts for maybe four or five of the hotdogs. There's about twenty here...

Thornridge: Twenty-five, actually. A nice, round, professional number of hotdogs in one sitting in my honest opinion.

Bronx: Do you think that is enough?

Thornridge turns to Bronx with a worried look in his eyes before looking down.

Thornridge: Hmm, you're right...

Crotchman: I knew he'd talk some sense to you...

Thornridge: It's not nearly enough hot dogs to suppress Novacain for the rest of the night!

Bronx and Crotchman look at each other quizzically before staring at Thornridge. Thornridge looked up, flinching when he saw both of them staring at him.

Bronx: Is there something you want to tell us or...

Thornridge: No no no nothing at all. We got Mourn’s back tonight in the main event. I gotta go quickly get some more 'dogs.

Thornridge rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind him making Crotchman and Bronx flinch.

Crotchman: Is he always this...

Thornridge rushed back into the room taking the whole hotdog platter and rushing off.

Bronx: Yes. Yes he is.

Macho Mourn
05-13-2018, 01:29 AM
DING DING!

Marilyn Manson’s "The New Shit" welcomes The Master of Darwinism Bobino. The crowd is mixed in response while Bobino saunters his way towards the ring.

Lillehammer: This man has the pedigree to be something special tonight. And he’s saddled with a match against Drew Michael’s former lackey, Sean Jensen.

Phoenix: While I am sure Bobino wished he had won at the PPV, this is hardly a match he can overlook. Sean Jensen is a multiple time champ.

Bobino shakes his head at a jeering fan at ringside before rolling into the ring.

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, from Boston, Massachusetts. Weighing in at 270 lbs. BOBIIIIIINOOOO!

Lillehammer: Seriously though, this is Jensen we are-

The hard drums and guitar of "If You Want Peace...Prepare for War" by Children of Bodom causes welcoming cheers for as Sean Jensen emerges from the back.

Announcer: And his opponent. From Sacramento, California. Weighing in at 245 lbs. SEAN JEEENSEEEEN!

Phoenix: Been awhile since we’ve seen The Unholy Purifier.

Lillehammer: Not long enough.

Phoenix: His win-loss record has been put to the test lately, but tonight he looks to get back on the right track with a win against the Hardcore Icon Bobino.

As Jensen steps into the ring, Bobino grins.

DING DING!

Phoenix: Bobino shoots across the ring. Jensen with a series of right hands.

Lillehammer: This unholy-

Phoenix: Bobino with the rake of the eyes! Come on ref!

Lillehammer: Those punches weren’t exactly legal as well.

Phoenix: Ref admonishing Bobino.

Lillehammer: I don’t think he cares.

Phoenix: Bobino with a hard stomp on Jensen, off the ropes, misses a running senton.

Lillehammer: Ack!

Phoenix: Both men sprawl to their feet. Jensen again with right hands that stagger Bobino. Jensen bouncing off the near ropes… BOBINO WITH A VICIOUS SUPER KICK!

Lillehammer: That right there is why Bobino shouldn’t be overlooked. He comes out here, against inferior opponents and imposes his will.

Phoenix: You mean like right now where Bobino is jabbing Jensen with the toe of his boot? He has this man in a position where he could go for a cover, and instead he’s out here looking to play games.

Lillehammer: If you could still do it, you would as well

Phoenix: Jensen fires in with a series of punches into the belly, but Bobino shoves him into the turnbuckle where Jensen falls into a heap.

Lillehammer: He’s still as rough as ever, Look at him as he drives his knee into Jensen’s throat. So simple, yet so special.

Phoenix: It’s sadistic. Bob backing off allowing Jensen to gain his breath a little. Bobino with a short elbow to the temple of Jensen, Russian Leg Sweep!

Lillehammer: Bobino savoring his domination.

Phoenix: He yanks Jensen up, ATOMIC DDT BY BOBINO!

Lillehammer: Spiked him. Jensen’s through.

Phoenix: Bobino now again kicking with his toe. Trying to once again humiliate his foe.

Lillehammer: Marking his territory, but nice rhyme MC Phoenix.

Phoenix: Bobino with a hand signaling Jensen to rise. .

Lillehammer: He’s showing mercy.

Phoenix: Hardly. He’s just standing over Jensen motioning for him to stand. The Master of Darwinism with a front headlock and slings Jensen to the corner. He’s setting up for Darwinism!!

Lillehammer: The quicker he hits the Diamond Dust…

Phoenix: Jensen slings Bobino into the ring! Jensen with a head of steam, running clothesline drops Bobino. Jensen slapping his own face to clear the cobwebs. Jensen, LIONSAULT! Cover 1… Bobino with a hard kick-out.

Lillehammer: Bobino finally looking as if he’s taking this match-up seriously.

Phoenix: Jensen creating separation. Charges, kick by Bob, blocked by Jensen. REVERSE ENZIGURI BY BOB! Bob now moving quicker, pulls up The Purifier, Un-Natural Se-

Lillehammer: Jensen out the back door!

Phoenix: REVERSE DDT! Bobino is planted into the canvas!!

Lillehammer: Where has this Jensen been?

Phoenix: Sean waiting, measuring for The Shadow Kick, Jensen, ducked by Bobino! Russian Leg… Jensen worms free, JUDAS’ KISS! Jensen motioning for the Concussion Inducer.

Lillehammer: If he hits this...

Phoenix: JENSEN, CONCUSSION INDUCER! COVER! 1… 2… 3!

Announcer: Winner of this match, SEAN JEEENSEN!

Sean Jensen: 3.7 APS + .9 Votes = 4.6 Total
Bobino: 3.5 APS + .5 Votes = 4 Total

"If You Want Peace...Prepare for War" by Children of Bodom welcomes a victorious Jensen to his feet.

Phoenix: What a win by Jensen, I must say.

Lillehammer: The Judas is nothing more than fortunate Bobino didn’t take this match seriously.

Phoenix: While Bobino may have not been acting with the fervor like he normally does, he did pick it up late and Jensen had a little too much momentum to stop.

Lillehammer: I... Jensen is headed this way. Great…

Phoenix: While Jensen gets situated, We head to the back to our broadcast colleague Rose Florecer. Rose?


Rose: We have an exclusive update on what happened after Bane Uzzah’s loss to Mourn Despana in the championship match. Bane Uzzah was recorded on security footage, walking aimlessly in the parking lot of the arena for an hour before collapsing into a seizure.Thankfully, a good samaritan happened to be on scene and EMTs were activated. Bane was sent to the nearest hospital and is said to have recovered in time for tonight’s match against Damien Blaze. Let’s hear what Bane has to say about tonight.

Rose walks into the interview room, which was very dimmed by Bane’s request. Bane is standing in the middle of the room, his face pale and his eyes bloodshot.

Rose: Bane, after your match with Mourn, you were found collapsed in the parking lot and sent to the hospital. How ready are you for tonight’s match agains---

Bane raised his index finger at Rose, hushing her up with a long hiss.

Bane: shhh…. Shhh. Sometime, you talk so fast and so much, you hear but you don’t listen. Use your heart Rose, hear the realms of darkness spreading in this world.

You see, people buy into the concept of fear. They worship war, they crave blood, but I'm not afraid of any wars. War never changes. I was in war. I created war. The masses, the common man out there...Wake up. WAKE UP! Wake up and look at this lie you’re living in! The world's burning, but all of YOU! Stood there. Whispering and wondering but YOU never do anything about it. I've seen it all in my dreams and in my thoughts and above everything else I understand that I, alone, will make a difference.

I know Damien, now, like I have never known him before.

Bane raises a small cross in front of the camera.

Bane: He is a crusade of Justice. But he believes not in Yahweh, the God who gave him the gift. He chose to go his way, and it irks me.

Bane grimaces at the camera with a twisted smile.

Intense pain is a wonderful thing, Damien. My life flashes before my eyes, what holds dear to me became crystal clear. When I was stuffed in that ambulance, I looked up in the air and I saw my Lord and I saw my dead friends and enemies. I realized that we were people brought together not by our choices, but by necessity. And by the same necessity we are made, today in the very ring, adversaries.


I beat you as a mortal man before, Damien, but now, I am the chosen one of the Lord.


This is not merely an exercise in futility.
This is a cleansing of souls.
May Yahweh have mercy on you.


Bane stares at the camera intensely as it fades to black.

Macho Mourn
05-13-2018, 01:31 AM
Phoenix: Welcome back everyone, our next match is going to be hard hitting to say the least. Damien Blaze, without his partner Justus, squares off against Bane Uzzah.

“If You Want Peace…Prepare For War” by Children of Bodom continues to blare from the speakers as Sean Jensen makes his way over to the commentary booth and grabs a seat.

Jensen: Gentlemen.

Phoenix: Sean, good to see you. To what do we owe the pleasure?

Jensen: When I heard that Bane and Justus were going toe to toe, I had to be there to see it myself.

Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, Bane Uzzah!

“Safari” by Orphaned Land starts to play from the speakers. After a short amount of time, Bane Uzzah makes his entrance, adorned in brown top hat, and leather jacket. He enters the ring, and bends to pray.

Jensen: Bane is someone who…frankly I see a lot of myself in. He’s following this destructive path in the name of something he thinks is bigger than himself. I’ve been down that road, I know that there’s nothing but pain that way. If I can get Bane to see that there’s more to his journey than causing destruction to others, at least my own suffering will have been for something.

Lillehammer: Mighty noble of you, Jensen, but come on, you’re no stranger to bad decisions. You were a former misfit after all.

Jensen: That was a lifetime ago, Rob.

Lillehammer: It’s Robert.

Jensen: We’ve all grown a great deal, and I’m finally in a spot where I can help someone.

Announcer: and his opponent, Damien Blaze!

“Bat Country” by Avenged Sevenfold starts to blare across the speakers as he enters the arena, and enters the ring. Blaze looks confident, without Justus by his side.

DING DING!

Blaze and Bane have a quick stare down. Bane and Blaze circle each other, but Bane goes down quickly for a single leg takedown first. Blaze moves his leg quickly, forcing Bane to miss, and Blaze connects with a massive roundhouse kick, Bane goes down hard.

Lillehammer: Man! He looked like he got knocked out for a second there!

Phoenix: Bane, wisely rolling out of the ring, looking to collect his bearings.

Jensen: Watch out for this though!

As Bane is on the outside, Blaze hits the ropes for momentum, before launching himself through the ropes with a suicide dive. Bane is ready for him though, and catches him over his shoulders. In a fireman’s carry, he flips him over his shoulders, driving him back-first into the barricade.

Lillehammer: Sweet Easter Bunny-hunting Jesus!

Phoenix: Incredible show of strength by Bane Uzzah!

Bane tenses and flexes, standing tall over his opponent.

Jensen: This is no time for showboating Bane!

Lillehammer: This is EXACTLY the time for showboating! Bane just dominated him with one simple move, he’s getting inside the head of Damien Blaze, and THAT is how you win a match!

Jensen: You win a match by pinfall or submission, not by convincing the other person you’ve been hitting the gym, Roberto.

Lillehammer: It’s Robert.

Bane pulls Blaze up to his feet, and locks him between his legs. He picks him up over his shoulders, and slams him back-first on the barricade once again.

Jensen: Don’t just hang around outside. If you’re going to win, win.

Phoenix: I wouldn’t count Blaze down just yet. He’s already starting to stir!

Lillehammer: I have to imagine that if Bane had taken the time to weaken him a little more, he might have been able to win after that first move. Making that attack your opening move might have been a mistake.

Bane once again pulls Blaze to his feet. Blaze, however, rocks Bane across the jaw with an elbow. Bane is stunned, and Blaze backs up a step before charging forward, connecting with a big boot. Blaze rolls himself back into the ring, breaking the referee’s count as Bane is on the outside struggling to get to his feet.

Lillehammer: Blaze is back in the game!

Phoenix: And here he comes now!

Blaze hits the ropes for momentum and dives through the ropes again for a suicide dive, this time he manages to connect with it. Blaze stumbles, but manages to land in a crouch. He rises again, only to lean back down. Bane is stunned, and is slowly trying to rise to his feet, Blaze connects again with another rolling elbow to the jaw. Bane goes down clutching his mouth.

Phoenix: Blaze is in control now, he seems to have added some high flying maneuvers to his arsenal.

Bane clutches the ring apron, trying to get back into the ring. Blaze comes over, and attempts to slam his head into the apron, but Bane won’t budge. He elbows Blaze in the ribs, before shoving him face first into the ring post.

Lillehammer: Can you believe how quickly this match became a hard-hitting affair?

Phoenix: Things exploded pretty quickly. Keep in mind that it was Blaze who took the assault outside the ring with that suicide dive, but I think he’s regretting that move now. And for the first time in a while now, it looks like we’ve got both men inside the ring.

Lillehammer: Bane is back on the assault with a clubbing elbow drop on the back! Blaze is down, and he doesn’t look like he’s getting up!

Phoenix: Sean, in your mind, Bane needs to let go of his devotion to his Gods, but playing devil's advocate for a moment, Is it possible that him being driven, regardless of what it is, has been good for him? He’s winning, and getting the results that he needs, isn’t he?

Jensen: Sure, he’s good, but he’s not the best that he can be. His devotion is holding him back. Competing is one thing, but Bane has a habit of taking things way too far. He doesn’t care who he injures. I’ve been there, I know.

Lillehammer: Bane is doing what he does best. He’s on his feet, and his opponent is flat on the mat!

Phoenix: Not for long! Bane drags Blaze back to his knees, and drops down on him hard with a knee, planting it squarely on his back.

Bane wraps his arms around Bane, pinching in the Anaconda Vice.

Lillehammer: Anaconda Vice, locked in! Blaze is reaching desperately, but he can’t quite make it!

Blaze stretches out his fingertips, trying to wriggle his body closer and closer. Finally he manages to grab onto the rope with his hand. the ref forces Bane to break the hold, who takes his time doing so. He lifts Blaze back up, before sending him into the corner turnbuckle.

Lillehammer: Blaze is helpless in the corner. Here comes Bane!

Phoenix: Bane coming on the assault with a repetition of elbow strikes to the face. What!?

Blaze blocks one of the elbow strikes, holding it in his hands. Blaze shakes his head, back and forth, and mouths the words “No” with a small smile. Blaze grabs onto the neck of Bane, and with one mighty thrust lifts him up. Bane kicks and Blaze starts to lose his balance a bit. He ends up planting Bane in a seated position in the top turnbuckle.

Jensen: Bane is stunned! Blaze is up to his feet, and he’s got him again!

Lillehammer: Hey! Leave the commentary to the professionals.

Phoenix Blaze is up on the first rope, and has wrapped his hands around Bane’s neck again.

Lillehammer: That’s not a chokeslam, that’s a full nelson!

Phoenix: Top rope Full Nelson Slam!!

Lillehammer: Blaze goes down! Right into the mat!

Jensen: Blaze covers!

1

2

No!

Jensen: Bane kicked out!

Lillehammer: Tough as nails!

Phoenix: Blaze is back on his feet. He’s poised and read. Bane struggles to his feet, but as he does, Blaze picks him up from behind! Dominator! Bane is prone on the mat! Blaze covers again!

1

2

NO!

Jensen: Kicks out again!

Lillehammer: Double-tough!

Phoenix: Here comes Blaze again. You’ve got to suspect that everything we’ve just seen was leading up to this. Blaze has Bane ready for the Blaze Crusher! This could be it!

As Blaze goes to lock in the Blaze Crusher, Bane kicks him toward the ring ropes. Blaze rebounds back, but Bane is up, and connects with an elbow to the jaw.

Jensen: The power behind that!

Lillehammer: He’s not done either!

Phoenix: Bane charges forward, toward Blaze, and shoves him back into the corner. Bane lifts Blaze up to the top rope, and grabs him by the neck!

Lillehammer: He’s got him! Israeli’s Edge!

Phoenix: Bane connects with the Israeli’s Edge, and plants his opponent on the mat. Bane covers Blaze for the pin.

1

2

3!

Announcer: The winner of the match, Bane Uzzah!

Bane Uzzah: 3.8 APS + 1.2 Votes = 5.0 total
Damien Blaze: 3.55 APS + .3 Votes = 3.85 Total


“Safari” by Orphaned Land plays as the crowd serenades Bane while he is kneeling in a praying position. As he rises, the referee raises his hand.

Jensen: Unbelievable. Bane doesn’t need any more of this garbage going to his head. He needs to ditch this false belief. I’m telling you now. Things may be going well, NOW, but eventually this will end in ruin.

Blaze is struggling to get up in the corner, and catches the eye of Bane. As he uses the ropes to pull himself up, Bane kicks the ropes, and Blaze stumbles down again. Bane steps on top of Blaze, one foot on the 2nd rope, one foot on the back of his defeated opponent.

Jensen: This isn’t right. I’m doing something about this!

As Jensen gets up, Bane rolls out of the ring, and up the ramp. Jensen enters the ring, and tries to help Blaze get to his feet. The Camera cuts out as we see Blaze and Jensen in the ring together.



LPW United States Heavyweight Champion Chris Austin sighs as he gazes into a small TV near the Gorilla Position, an area he generally takes residence in during shows. He scribbles down notes as he watches a triumphant Bane take his leave.

Austin: Damien … continuing to make a mockery of his talent and those increasingly pointless tag team championships … still oddly surprised Bane won.

???: You’re one to talk, Christopher

Enter International Heavyweight Champion Al.

Austin: I’m already over this conversation. Kindly leave me the fuck alone, sir.

Al: Well, that’s no way to talk to your tag team partner, your team captain. Always so defensive. So … disrespectful. Loosen up. Mind your manners.

Austin: …

Austin begins to ignore Al, as Insanity’s secondary champion focuses on his notes.

Al: Still don’t like being called by your birth name, eh?

No response.

Al: I see. You can play your little game all you want, but I know I’m on the forefront of your mind. You have no choice but for me to be. It’s how you’re wired. Just do your job tonight.

Austin: …

Al: We clear on that?

Austin scoots down from the equipment crate he was seated on, tucking his notepad away and calmly laying his championship over his shoulder. He stares at his torch longingly before going back to Al, obvious disdain in his eyes.

Al: That supposed to intimidate me? If so, you’ll need a better gameplan and a better attitude.

Austin: Attitude reflects leadership, captain.

Austin pats Al on the shoulder and takes his leave. Fade out.

Macho Mourn
05-13-2018, 01:32 AM
DING DING!

Announcer: The following contest is a Six-Man tag Team match scheduled for one fall.

Soilwork’s "Stabbing The Drama" brings the shadowy arena to the sound of boos. Out walks an almost mindless Obsidian and his charge Lord Serpentus.

Announcer: First, Accompanied by Lord Serpentus, Weighing in at 333 lbs. The LPW DEEPNet champion, OBSIDIAN!

Lillehammer: This man is the future. And Obsidian is pretty dang great as well.

Phoenix: The inaugural DEEPNet champion is the wild card in this match.

"Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor is the next song to blast through the speakers. Out walks Mourn Despana for the second time in the evening.

Announcer: Next. From Seattle, Washington. Weighing in at 245 lbs. The Western States Heritage Champion, MOURN DESPANA!

Phoenix: One has to wonder, is this team too combustible to succeed.

Lillehammer: This hothead here is always one step close to the edge. If anyone on this team threatens unity, it is this anarchist..

Mourn’s theme gives way to ”Wolves of Winter” by Biffy Clyro. Golden wastes no time in smiling at the crowd and patting the championship on his shoulder.

Announcer: And their opponent, from Galway, Ireland. Weighing in at 214 lbs. The World Heavyweight Champion. THIS IS GOLDEN!

Phoenix: He’s eyeing Despana something fierce.

Lillehammer: He was announced as his first challenger. I would be too.

Obsidian stays in the corner, listening to Serpentus’ instructions as Golden and Mourn stare at one another.

Announcer: And THEIR opponents.

Kanye West's “Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1” intros into “Soulcrusher” by Operator as Chris Austin, title around waste and torch in hand, strolls through the curtain to an infurious crowd.

Announcer: First. From San Jose, California. Weighing in at 220 lbs. The United States Champion. CHRIS AUSTIN!

Phoenix: Mentioned earlier tonight, and evident by the torch he possession in his grasp, here comes the US champ, the devious Chris Austin.

Lillehammer: More studious than anything. It pays to be the smarter man. Look at his opponents. Golden has some work to do if he’s gonna lead his team to a strategic victory.

The Enigma TNG’s "Black" is next as a smug David Gideon Smith is met with an almost equal amount of anger.

Announcer: Next. From Omaha, Nebraska. Weighing in at 240 lbs. The LPW Hardcore Champion. DAVID GIDEON SMITH!

Phoenix: The violent David Gideon Smith. A man who helped shorten the career of Reece Raymond and is the current Hardcore Champion.

Lillehammer: Oh yes, that violent division where people use weapons instead of wrestle. Good for him. You guys at Insanity do know how to pick them though. I could end up liking this one.

”Blockbuster Night Part 1” by Run the Jewels and a strong mixed reaction from the audience welcomes Al as he triumphantly walks onto the stage.

Announcer: And lastly. From San Francisco, California. Weighing in at 230 lbs. The LPW International Heavyweight Champion. AL!

Lillehammer: Well look who it is. Thought I got rid of him after the draft.

Phoenix: Well, it is the Supershow and the fans in attendance seem pretty mixed on him.

Lillehammer: Just like this booth.

Phoenix: I guess you are correct.

As Al slowly makes his way towards the ring, he observes his team, who patiently waiting for him to join them, and his opponents, who are barely observant of their teammates with Golden and Mourn trying to hide the obvious discontent for one another. This brings a laugh from the IHC.

Phoenix: Looks like Golden is at least trying to lead his team.

Lillehammer: Yeah, that seems to be working.

DING! DING!

Phoenix: On pYromania’s side, looks like Golden is insisting to start, and DGS is the man for Insanity’s squad.

Lillehammer: pYro’s leader showing by example.

Phoenix: The men circle, collar-elbow tie-up both men jostling and they release.

Lillehammer: DGS has the height-

Phoenix: DGS shoots in and gets behind Golden. Golden with the standing switch. DGS with a drop toehold into a leg grapevine.

Al is heard clapping in approval like a Head Coach of a sports team.

Lillehammer: See? Why can’t I have an upstanding individual as a champ on pYro. All we have is Obsidian. Have I ever told you how much I love religious me-

Phoenix: Golden fighting up but Smith holds onto the ankle. DGS ducks an Enziguri and Golden is free.

Lillehammer: That could have been a major move is DGS wasn’t fresh.

Phoenix: Both men again circling. Collar-

DGS pushes Golden away and slaps the WHC across the face.

SMACK!

Lillehammer: WOOOO!

Phoenix: That slap echoes-

As DGS stands tall bating Golden in, Golden shoots for a leg.

Phoenix: Golden has the larger man by a leg, DGS, Enziguri, ducked by Golden…

SMACK!

Phoenix: GOLDEN WITH THE RETURN FIRE

Lillehammer: WOOO!

Phoenix: DGS is fuming, wild swing by Smith, ducked by Golden, and a slew of right hands by Golden. Standing dropkick by Golden! And another! A th… missed as DGS steps to the side.

Lillehammer: The resolve!

Phoenix: Smith off the ropes, MISSES A Somersault legdrop! Golden quickly up, SNAPNARE NECKBREAKER!

Lillehammer: That was perfect!

Phoenix: Golden with a front chancery, pulls him to his corner, Mourn tags in!

Lillehammer: Ugh…

Phoenix: Mourn to the second rope, and an elbow to the exposed ribs of Smith.

Lillehammer: TEAMWORK!

Phoenix: Mourn now with a few well places punches to the damaged ribs. Arm wringer by Mourn and…

Lillehammer: OBSIDIAN!

Phoenix: Mourn whips DGS into a neutral corner.

Mourn reaches out to Obsidian who grabs ahold of Mourn’s wrist. They swung in a 360 and Mourn uses the momentum to have full speed when heading towards DGS.

Phoenix: Lariat into the corner! OBSIDIAN TOO!

Lillehammer: I totally expected nothing close to a tag team move.

Phoenix: The Insanity team has got to be worried about this. Obsidian now following his pray. Heavy forearms dropping down between the shoulderblades. DGS trying desperately to raise up, only to be clubbed down again and again.

Lillehammer: Obsidian batting clean-up.

Phoenix: Obsidian with an Irish whip sending DGS again into the neutral corner.

Lillehammer: Listen to Serpentus shouting instructions.

Phoenix: Obsidian charges, DGS out of the way! The Blackstar, RUNNING HIGH KNEE TO OBSIDIAN!

Lillehammer: I have to admit. That was bea-

Phoenix: Obsidian didn’t move!

Lillehammer: It didn’t register!

Phoenix: The Sovereign begging off, he charges off the ropes-

Lillehammer: Tag! Austin!

Phoenix: Obsidian misses the clothesline DGS back off the ropes.

As Austin steps through the ropes DGS rebounds off the ropes towards a waiting Obsidian. The big guy, who notices what’s going on thanks to the tutelage of Serpentus, steps aside and gives a mighty shove to Smith’s back.

Phoenix: DGS AND AUSTIN COLLIDE! Obsidian, clothesline sends Smith over the top rope to the outside.

Austin, noticing that Obsidian’s aware, is quick to react and quickly tags Al in.

Lillehammer: Austin’s so smart. He got out as quick as he could with that behemoth in the ring. Oh goodness, Mourn wants in.

Phoenix: Mourn asking Obsidian for the tag. And the DEEPNet champ obliges. Mourn is in.

Lillehammer: Mourn and Al haven’t been in the ring against each other in a minute. Mourn was an impressionable rookie.

Phoenix: Al and Mourn start to circle…

As Mourn takes a step to the side, Golden reaches over the ropes and slaps Mourn hard on the shoulder.

Lillehammer: Tag in by Golden!

Despana shoots a glare at Golden as the WHC steps through the ropes.

Phoenix: Golden in and Mourn seems to be slightly annoyed.

Lillehammer: Is this what pYro is reduced to? These two need to start being a team. For pYro’s sake.

Phoenix: Golden had an absolute whopper of a match against Al that almost ended in tragedy.

Lillehammer: And that was the match where we realized Al was a cut above the rest.

Phoenix: I swear… collar-elbow tie-up and Al, the larger man is pressing Golden back to the neutral corner. Ref to 3 and Al backs away with a clean break.

Lillehammer: A nice respectful break by the other champ.

Phoenix: The two tie-up again and Golden trying his hardest but AL is winning the muscle battle, Golden spins Al around at the ropes.

Lillehammer: Hit him Golden.

Phoenix: Ref to 4 and Golden backs up. Golden baiting him out, AL charges, hip toss by Golden. Golden quick to create distance. Off the ropes… Shoulder block.

Lillehammer: Didn’t move Al at all.

Phoenix: Al motions Golden to try again. Golden…

Lillehammer: Still nothing.

Phoenix: Al motioning him again. Golden with a small hop. Off…

As Golden bounces off the ropes, Austin pulls down the ropes and Golden goes tumbling over the top and crashing roughly to the mat.

Lillehammer: I have to admit, that was a pretty good move.

Phoenix: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? That was a low down dirty. That could injure a man. Mourn is off the apron and furious.

Lillehammer: The ref is out of the ring trying to get control.

Phoenix: Al sends Golden back into the ring. Golden’s favoring his back. Al, Lifts Golden up on his shoulders, Samoan Drop! Cover 1.. And Golden quickly out.

Lillehammer: If he would have lost to a move like that…

Phoenix: Al pulling Golden up. Al pushes him chest first into Insanity’s corner. Al with the charge and a knee right into the injured spine.

Lillehammer: He may not have caused the injury, but he wouldn’t be champ if he didn’t take advantage of the situation.

Al reaches out, and Chris Austin tags in. Austin in the match with Golden face first on the mat writhing in pain.

Lillehammer: Of course. All a part of the plan.

Phoenix: Yeah. Pick up the bones of a man as the fresh competitor. A swift kick to the spine by Austin. Now ramming knees to Golden. He’s continuing the dissection of his opponent’s back. Austin pulling up Golden, a scoop, and a slam.

Lillehammer: Standing over his opponent. Watching how his injured prey moves. This man, so calculating, so evil.

Phoenix: Sounds like you are in love.

Lillehammer: Only platonic.

Phoenix: Austin with an irish whip into Insanity’s corner. Tag and Al’s in. Both men with the double team, double back suplex!

Lillehammer: Once again, on the spine.

Phoenix: Al tagging in DGS. Frequent tags. Al drapes Golden belly first over his knee. Smith to the second rope, ELBOW DOWN ON THE SPINE!

Lillehammer: Golden squirming on the ground. They really do enjoy playing with their food.

Phoenix: DGS pulls Golden up and rams Golden back first into the corner. Austin tags in. Austin now ramming fists into the straight jacketed Golden’s face. Ref to 4 and pulls Austin from the corner.

As the ref admonishes Austin, behind his back DGS starts blatantly choking Golden. This brings an enraged Mourn into the ring.

Phoenix: Mourn trying to stop this but the ref is ushering him out.

As this happens Austin and DGS isolate Golden in a neutral corner.

Phoenix: Mourn in furious!

Lillehammer: He’s either going to get his team disqualified or Golden injured. I honestly don’t know which one he wants.

Phoenix: That’s bogus and you know it. These two are outright breaking the rules. And look, just as the ref finally starts doing his job again, Austin has exited the ring. DGS now ramming knee into the midsection. They are taking out Golden’s core.

Lillehammer: If he move his torso, he can’t make a tag.

Phoenix: And through all of this, Obsidian hasn’t moved a muscle.

Lillehammer: He’s here to win. Not be a hero.

Phoenix: DGS dragging Golden to his corner by a headlock. Golden firing some shots into the ribs, and DGS just cuts him off with an Elbow to the spine. He extends his hand to Al. Tag. Back in is the IHC. Lifts Golden from the side, Spinning side slam! Al looking towards the pYro corner and the grin is wide. He is antagonizing his opponents.

Lillehammer: I don’t think Obsidian cares.

Phoenix: Al tags in Austin. Austin with a knee to the midsection of Golden. He tags DGS. He’s backing up, measuring. Austin, BICYCLE KNEE! DGS, RUNNING HIGH KNEE! GOLDEN’S DOWN! DGS to the neutral corner, goes to the outside, he may be going for that frog splash. To the top…

As he reaches the top rope, he looks to his right and Obsidian, like a cat, is over at the corner. With a shove. He mightily pushes DGS off the top rope careening back into the ring.

Lillehammer: OBSIDIAN!

Phoenix: He got too close to Obsidian’s side of the ring and Obsidian took it upon his name to save the match. The ref counting both man down and Mourn is getting the crowd going. This place is electric. This could be the chance pYro needed to get back into this match.

Lillehammer: DGS isn’t gonna be able to make it!

Phoenix: Golden..

Just as Golden is about to lunge to his corner and tag in Mourn, Austin “frantically” gets into the ring, which the ref sees and goes to stop.

Phoenix: TAG!

Lillehammer: REF DIDN’T SEE IT!

Phoenix: Mourn being contained by the ref. Mourn pleading his case!

Lillehammer: Austin has Golden by the leg and pulling him back to his corner.

Phoenix: Mourn was tagged. This is… ENZIGURI BY GOLDEN! DGS in the way, Golden lunges between his legs. Leaps, TAG MOURN’S IN! GOLDEN GOT THE TAG! Mourn, HEADLOCK BACKBREAKER! Austin, BICYCLE… missed with the knee, Mourn off the ropes, RUNNING DROPKICK SEND AUSTIN FLAILING TO THE OUTSIDE!

Lillehammer: DGS is isolated!

Phoenix: Despana with a series of open hand chops to the chest of the Hardcore champ. Mourn pushes him backwards, he rebounds, SPINNING SPINEBUSTER! Mourn motioning to his left arm. He’s measuring a lariat! Mourn off the ropes…

As Mourn hits the ropes Al reaches out to him, which Mourn responds to with a spinning chop to the neck.

Lillehammer: DGS!

Phoenix: DGS with a rear naked choke!

Lillehammer: Mourn’s fighting.

Phoenix: Mourn free, SAITO SUPLEX!

Lillehammer: Listen to this crowd!

Phoenix: Austin’s back in the ring!

Lillehammer: Mourn’s eyeing him!

Phoenix: DGS using the distraction, he’s tagged Al in!

Lillehammer: Mourn doesn’t see it.

As Mourn is pushed against the ropes to gain momentum for a roll-up, Mourn reaches out and tags in Obsidian.

Lillehammer: OBSIDIAN'S! LEGAL!

Phoenix: RUNNING LARIAT TO AL!

Lillehammer: I’ll give the half-breed credit.

Phoenix: DGS again trying to get in illegally.

Lillehammer: More like...

Phoenix: Golden just pulled David Gideon Smith off the apron!

Lillehammer: pYro!

Phoenix: Mourn looking on, he’s measuring. Mourn’s going for a dive…

As Mourn goes to dive at DGS, Austin lunges into frame and shoves his partner out of the way leaving Mourn’s suicide elbow smash in direct path of an unassuming Golden.

Lillehammer: NANCY REAGAN'S SWEET BLESSINGS! HE JUST MURDERED HIM!

Phoenix: Mourn just sent Golden back first into the protective barrier! DGS, RAMS MOURN INTO THE STEEL STEPS! Inside the ring, Obsidian’s pulling up Al

Lillehammer: This isn’t good. Serpentus!

Phoenix: Austin is baring down on Lord Serpentus. Obsidian’s noticed and let go of Al. The DEEPNet champ is out of the ring like a cat and Austin’s backing off.

Lillehammer: The chase is on!

Phoenix: Austin slides into the ring. In comes Obsidian…

Lillehammer: HIT STICK!

Phoenix: AL JUST GOT THE BIG MAN DOWN WITH AN HELLACIOUS SPEAR!

Lillehammer: Obsidian’s getting back up!

Phoenix: DISCUS LARIAT BY AL!

Lillehammer: Not as good as Smith’s. Obsidian didn’t fall from it.

Phoenix: Al off the ropes, SECOND HIT STICK! COVER! 1? Why isn’t the ref…

Lillehammer: Austin tagged in!

Phoenix: You’ve got to be kidding me. Al and Austin are now in each other’s face.

Austin: Do your job. Keep them out.

Phoenix: Al’s competitive nature is getting the best of him, but he doesn’t seem happy about it.

Lillehammer: Obsidian’s slowly getting up.

Phoenix: Austin measuring, OCCAM’S RAZOR!

Lillehammer: Al’s warding off Golden!

Phoenix: COVER! 1… 2… 3!!!

Announcer: Winner of this match, the team of Hardcore champion DAVID GIDEON SMITH, United States champion CHRIS AUSTIN, and International Heavyweight Champion AL!

Al & Chris Austin & David Gideon Smith : 4.6 + 4.6 +3.85 APS + .8 Votes = 13.85 Total

Golden & Mourn Despana & Obsidian: = 4.2 + 4.3 + 3.6 APS + .7 Votes = 12.85 Total

Kanye West's “Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1” is serenaded by boos as Austin stands up with a knowing smile towards Al. The ref holds up the arm of Austin and Al.

Phoenix: A very impressive victory by the Insanity team. Though, they were very close to losing this.

Lillehammer: They kept them guessing and when you thought things were about to go pYro’s way, Austin, then DGS, made sure things swung back in their favor. A major assist to that insane Arab lover. If it wasn’t for blind hatred for Golden, his team might have…

Phoenix: Insanity earned the victory. Mourn may have hit Golden, but I seriously doubt he aimed for Golden. It was friendly fire, but not on purpose.

Lillehammer: We should ask Golden how he feels.

The camera catches Golden staring a hole in Mourn while the WSHC sits up against the steps rubbing his head.

Phoenix: This was only night one of this Supercycle. Things are heating up. Tonight, Insanity's champions stood tall. For Robert Lillehammer, I am Blazing Phoenix. Signing off from New Orleans!

The last image shown as we fade is Al and Austin refusing to let the other out of their sight.



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