View Full Version : May 2018 Columnist of the Month - ROB S. JOINS THE 5-TIMERS CLUB!

06-08-2018, 02:54 PM
It's that time again! A bit late, but that was by design. It seems that folks are a bit more busy right now for whatever myriad of reasons, so I thought that positioning this right as the weekend kicks off would help get us off to a solid start in the voting.

In other words, you've got no excuses. Vote, dammit.

Before we do that, though, how's about a refresher on the rules to this thing?


The winner of the Columnist of the Month contest will receive the prize of having one column posted on the main page of LordsOfPain.net

1) The winner of Columnist of the Month is determined by which of the eligible columnists receives the largest amount of votes within the allotted voting period.

2). No voting for yourself.

3). You must vote for Columnist of the Month to be eligible to win. Should the person with the most votes not place a vote during the allotted timeframe, said person will be disqualified and the first runner up in terms of number of votes gained will be named the winner. One need not place a vote to be awarded single Column of the Month.

4). The candidate you vote for must have posted at least one column in the month of May 2018.

5). When voting, please name both the columnist and, if applicable, the title of their ongoing series in a bold and easily determined fashion. Makes it easier on us old mod folk to more clearly discern the votes, what with our cataracts and such.

6). Main page writers are ineligible to win either the Columnist or Column awards. The exception to this is if they were not called up until the next month. For instance, a writer who wrote stuff in April and was called up on May 3rd would still be eligible to win the April Columnist contest. The prize would just be a bit pointless, I guess. The reason that main page writers are ineligible to win the single Column award is simply because they could, and often do, post said column simultaneously on the main page. This is a CF award, so only CF writers are considered.

7). Please refrain from editing your vote once it is placed, so as to not fuck up the tally. Some circumstances, such as a noob vote for a main pager, are the only loopholes to this one and will be pointed out and handled by a moderator.

8). If a candidate is caught campaigning for CotM, either publicly or privately via PM or social media, they will be disqualified and quite possibly banned. Do your selling through your writing. Begging is lame.

9). Columns about columns (such as the State of the CF or End of Year CF Awards) are not eligible for COTM consideration and will not be counted in favor of their respective authors in the final tally for the month.

10). As it pertains to collaborations, there are a few variations that require clarification.

a) If it's a "tag team" style "traditional" collaboration (i.e.: ETA or The Power Trip or The Mega Column) then both members of the team must vote in order to claim victory as a team.

b) If a single columnist gathers a group of individuals for a "roundtable" collab, only the organizer of said series must vote in order to claim victory. For instance, if Jimmy McColumnGuyDuderson wants to break down the greatest jobbers of all time and asks two of his pals to help out, only Jimmy needs to vote in order to win the award should he garner enough votes since he is the blatant driving force, as opposed to the give and take equality of a "tag team" collab.

For the voters, if you wish to specifically vote for a "traditional" collab team, name both writers. If you wish to honor a "roundtable" collab, just name the organizer of said collab.

11) You cannot vote for a former main page writer until said writer is at least 4 months removed from their main page stint at the time of the voting period. For instance, if Writer McGee just left his main page spot in January and resumed writing in the CF, he is not eligible to win CotM until the May contest. This rule is included simply because it's kind of stupid to award a main page column to a writer who just gave up a gig in which the point was to post columns on the main page. If they wanted to be on the main page then they probably would've, you know, stayed on the main page. We get that the CF has a certain allure, what with the sense of community and ability to win awards from one's peers and all that, but let us not forget the reason why the CF exists in the first place. It's not to placate egos by handing out peer determined awards, it's to find writers for the Lords of Pain main page. If you've had that spot and chose to leave it, perhaps it's time that someone else got the opportunity to prove why they deserve a shot. This rule is only applicable to the COLUMNIST vote, not the single COLUMN vote.

12). In the event of a tie, regardless the number of people involved, the deadlock be broken by means of a re-vote with the tied parties as the only available candidates. Said re-vote will be three days long. If it's still tied after that, the moderator in charge of the contest will determine a winner via a coin toss, with the rights to call the flip determined by which contender garnered the chronological first vote in the original competition. If said moderator in charge of the contest is involved in the tie, the coin flip will be executed by a moderator not directly involved with the contest. That's awfully wordy but actually pretty straightforward. Feel free to ask if you're fuzzy on any of the details.

Don't forget to cast a vote for the Column of the Month gimmick as well. Just name which single column you felt was the best of the month for March. The actual Column of the Month. Just one. NOT AN ENTIRE SERIES. This will help make the process of voting for Column of the Year when it comes time for the Year End Awards that much easier, as well as give some well deserved props to someone who straight up knocked one out of the park in a given month.

Speaking of, here's the list of eligible columnists and their respective columns. Huge thanks to Rob for putting this list together, as usual. If you find something that was left out just let me know and I'll get it sorted.

205 Clive
Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz: Professional Wrestling vs. Sports Entertainment

Greetings Grapple Fans: Generic Column to get things Moving

Benjamin Button
Barney and Ben Getting It Done in 500 Words (More or Less Anyway) (w/Mystic)

Canadian Crippler
Thy Tragic Kingdom (0) Presents: My Birth Year in Pro Wrestling
Count Your Blessings; I Got Mine

Dynamite Billington
Bull from a Bulldog 6- Vince’s Last Hurrah (Repost)
Bull from a Bulldog: Make It Happen

Kingzak Presents: King of the RNG 5

Shook Ones (US vs. UK Intended Entry)

Undisputed Part 5: The Irish Whip (From 2015)

The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: WWF Steals My Idea (July ’89)
The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: The Scotsman Cometh (Aug ’89)
The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: Prime Time Power Struggle (Sep ’89)
The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: Of Skirts and Sequins (Oct ’89)
The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: Losses in the Family (Nov ’89)
The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: A Very Weasel Christmas (Dec ’89)
The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: Bagpipe Sale; Everything Must Go (Jan ‘90)

Be Smart, Appreciate The Magic

Bearly Reviewing 33 1/3 (Ongoing Series)

Prime Time
The Lords of Pain World Championship- 1981-1985 (w/friends)
Castaway- with Samuel ‘Plan (1/2)

Rob S. (fka TripleR)
Chair Shots Presents: Lucha Underground’s Infinity War
The Life & Times of Bobby Lashley: Bobby Buys a Hat (May ’18)
Chair Shots Presents: Has the Sun Set on The New Day?
Chair Shots Presents: A Tale of Two Cases; One White and One Green (2-Day Column)

Welcome Home

My World: The Tragedy of Lenny Wildside

A Reigns Being Knight: A Star Wars Story
You Life This? Please Life This Instead
The Real Fake Column

And that, my friends, is that. A nice selection of columns and columnists to choose from, if I do say so myself, especially for a shortened month coming off of a board reset.


Voting ends on Friday, June 15th at 11:59 PM (CST) / 9:59 PM (PST) / Whatever o'clock :59 (other weird time zones)

06-08-2018, 05:56 PM
Column goes to Welcome Home. I'd missed the place and seeing it back with such a personal take on what happened was awesome. Extra shout to you for the work you put in during that time.

Columnist is Tim Rose, enjoyed all his work this month.

06-08-2018, 07:14 PM
Bear for column. That generic column was not so generic.

And Benjamin for columnist.

06-08-2018, 08:10 PM
Mizfan for columnist on the month since he provided the most consistently entertaining columns this month. Haven't invested much time into WWF before 1994 so it's been an entertaining education reading about the Life of Bobby Heenan the way Mizfan has displayed it.
Welcome Home was awesome, heartfelt and refreshing so that's my choice for column of the month

it's been a great month for everyone so so I'm curious to see which one of you gets the W.

06-08-2018, 11:17 PM
Columnist: Rob S (I think 3 of the best 4 columns all month came from him)
Column: Life and Times of Bobby Lashley: Bobby Buys a Hat - Rob S

06-09-2018, 09:12 AM
Mizfan may well take a secomd in a row and go to 12, he had a great month. Tim Rose also kicked some nice stuff and I really liked Benny's stuff too. However this week has to go to Rob S who had a bunch of columns that got me thinking and talking.

Column for me was Bears's Generic Column great stuff, makes me want to see him write more. Also loved Prime Time's two efforts but will give it to Bear.

06-09-2018, 09:19 AM
Welcome for column

TimRose for columnist

Benjamin Button
06-09-2018, 02:11 PM
Mizfan again for columnist...bc 11 is not enough.
Gonna go with Esteve for column. Welcome home

06-10-2018, 05:15 AM
fka TripleR for Column for-
Chair Shots Presents: Lucha Underground’s Infinity War

Columnist: M.V.W.

06-11-2018, 08:16 AM
BEAR for columnist, just because I have missed him so.

Welcome Home for column, very deservedly so.

06-11-2018, 01:13 PM
Columnist: Prime Time
Column: Greetings Grapple Fans: Generic Column to get things Moving by BEAR

06-12-2018, 09:19 PM
Tough choice for me between Tim and Rob this month for me, some awesome work from both. I think I have to go with the artist formerly known as TripleR for this one.

I actually just now realized Welcome Home was a proper column, instead of just a long ass post welcoming everyone back (which it also was, obviously). That's a great one but I think I gotta go with The Life & Times of Bobby Lashley: Bobby Buys a Hat (May ’18).

Also, if people aren't seeing what Benjamin and Barney are cooking up in their thread, you're missing out.

06-13-2018, 07:32 AM
Just noticed this! Thought it was still last months up lol.

Toss up between Miz, Tim, and Rob, though I have to give my narrow margin vote to Avery.... I mean... TimRose :p

Column was easily Generic Column To Get Things Moving by good old Bear. He's easily my favorite Ursidaen columnist.

Prime Time
06-13-2018, 07:41 AM
Oooh, I think this could be close.

mizfan for columnist. It's really hard to compete with his quantity of quality when he gets going. Guy could have 20 COTM if he wants it.

As for individual column.... I'd say that Rob's Lashley/MF parody is a personal favourite.

06-13-2018, 12:57 PM
I thought Rob had a really strong month, here, with a pretty diverse and varied bunch of columns. He gets my Columnist vote.

My personal favorite single column was Oliver's epic Bearly Reviewing return piece. That was just all around fun and well done, as always.

Rob S.
06-15-2018, 08:42 AM
I'm going to vote for Oli for his continued commitment to Bearly Reviewing. It came back strong in May. And with everyone else, Welcome Home gets the column nod.

06-16-2018, 01:58 PM
Well, it was a helluva close one but we have ourselves a winner. Despite valiant efforts put forth by TimRose and mizfan to stand in the way, our ultimate winner of this month's COTM is the former TripleR, Rob S.. This is Rob's first COTM win since July of 2016 and earns him a position in the 5-Timers Club. Not too shabby, if I say so, myself.

The competition for single Column of the Month was less tight but had a great variety of stuff from an array of CF veterans. Though Bear made it close with his Generic Column (which was actually a repost and technically shouldn't have been eligible, which will be reflected in the rules moving forward from this point), the ultimate winner was Welcome Home by me. I'm humbled by the nod, as I always am whenever you guys see fit to throw me a bone in one of these things. I must say, I find it kinda cool that the first column ever posted on this board wound up being an award winner. That's pretty spiffy.

I get the feeling that the competition for the June contest will be heated, as there's a consistent level of excellent work being nailed by everyone in the CF right now. I'm very interested in seeing how it all plays out.

For now, though, congrats to Rob on his win! Further congrats to everyone who garnered a vote this month, as the fact that 8 different columnists garner recognition indicates just how strong the talent pool is here at the moment.

Here's a breakdown of the numbers for those of you interested in such things.

Rob S. - 4 votes
mizfan - 3 votes
TimRose - 3 votes
Benjamin Button - 1 vote
M.V.W. - 1 vote
BEAR - 1 vote
Prime Time - 1 vote
Oliver - 1 vote

Benjamin Button
06-16-2018, 02:25 PM
Congrats Rob!

Rob S.
06-18-2018, 09:27 AM
Thanks to everyone who voted for me this month. I'm not going to lie; I'm very happy about this one. I've been wanting my fifth for some time, and honestly thought I'd had a shot at it a few times since I became eligible again but it just never happened. This was one of my stronger months creatively, having a Lucha Underground column, a standard New Day piece, an homage to Mizzie's Life & Times series featuring Lashley and about 1500 rhyming words on Money in the Bank. It would have been a hard one for me not to get so like I said, thrilled I got it despite it being a tight race. One more month folks and then I'm done. Thanks a bunch!

Prime Time
06-18-2018, 09:53 AM
Congratulations Rob. Always gratifying to pick one up in a competitive field like that.

06-20-2018, 12:17 PM
Congrats to Rob, he really earned it and totally deserves to be in the 5 timer bracket. Great work, man. And to you too, Steve!

06-20-2018, 11:49 PM
Congrats, Rob! And Senor Steve!

Good month. This place is like a nuclear cockroach- never dies, always thriving!

06-22-2018, 06:32 PM
Should I have not voted for Rob with the hope he would have stayed until he got the 5th?

Don't leave us man. Congrats though.

Also congrats to Steve. Was a really great piece to come back to after a weird fortnight or so without this place.