View Full Version : July 2018 Columnist of the Month - ROB AND MYSTIC EACH JOIN THE 6 TIMERS CLUB!

08-10-2018, 07:19 PM
Hey there, guys. A bit late, but if you had any idea what my life looked like recently you'd understand, I'm sure. I am a busy boy.

Never too busy to carve out time for this place, though, as it was, is and ever will be my home away from home. Brevity is a good thing for me at the moment, though, so let's jump into this thing.

Before we do any jumping, though, how's about a refresher on the rules of this thing?


The winner of the Columnist of the Month contest will receive the prize of having one column posted on the main page of LordsOfPain.net

1) The winner of Columnist of the Month is determined by which of the eligible columnists receives the largest amount of votes within the allotted voting period.

2). No voting for yourself.

3). You must vote for Columnist of the Month to be eligible to win. Should the person with the most votes not place a vote during the allotted timeframe, said person will be disqualified and the first runner up in terms of number of votes gained will be named the winner. One need not place a vote to be awarded single Column of the Month.

4). A columnist must have posted at least one column during the allotted time period in order to be eligible. Duh.

5). When voting, please name both the columnist and, if applicable, the title of their ongoing series in a bold and easily determined fashion. Makes it easier on us old mod folk to more clearly discern the votes, what with our cataracts and such.

6). Main page writers are ineligible to win either the Columnist or Column awards. The exception to this is if they were not called up until the next month. For instance, a writer who wrote stuff in April and was called up on May 3rd would still be eligible to win the April Columnist contest. The prize would just be a bit pointless, I guess. The reason that main page writers are ineligible to win the single Column award is simply because they could, and often do, post said column simultaneously on the main page. This is a CF award, so only CF writers are considered.

7). Please refrain from editing your vote once it is placed, so as to not fuck up the tally. Some circumstances, such as a noob vote for a main pager, are the only loopholes to this one and will be pointed out and handled by a moderator.

8). If a candidate is caught campaigning for CotM, either publicly or privately via PM or social media, they will be disqualified and quite possibly banned. Do your selling through your writing. Begging is lame.

9). Columns about columns (such as the State of the CF or End of Year CF Awards) are not eligible for COTM consideration and will not be counted in favor of their respective authors in the final tally for the month.

10). As it pertains to collaborations, there are a few variations that require clarification.

a) If it's a "tag team" style "traditional" collaboration (i.e.: ETA or The Power Trip or The Mega Column) then both members of the team must vote in order to claim victory as a team.

b) If a single columnist gathers a group of individuals for a "roundtable" collab, only the organizer of said series must vote in order to claim victory. For instance, if Jimmy McColumnGuyDuderson wants to break down the greatest jobbers of all time and asks two of his pals to help out, only Jimmy needs to vote in order to win the award should he garner enough votes since he is the blatant driving force, as opposed to the give and take equality of a "tag team" collab.

For the voters, if you wish to specifically vote for a "traditional" collab team, name both writers. If you wish to honor a "roundtable" collab, just name the organizer of said collab.

11) You cannot vote for a former main page writer until said writer is at least 4 months removed from their main page stint at the time of the voting period. For instance, if Writer McGee just left his main page spot in January and resumed writing in the CF, he is not eligible to win CotM until the May contest. This rule is included simply because it's kind of stupid to award a main page column to a writer who just gave up a gig in which the point was to post columns on the main page. If they wanted to be on the main page then they probably would've, you know, stayed on the main page. We get that the CF has a certain allure, what with the sense of community and ability to win awards from one's peers and all that, but let us not forget the reason why the CF exists in the first place. It's not to placate egos by handing out peer determined awards, it's to find writers for the Lords of Pain main page. If you've had that spot and chose to leave it, perhaps it's time that someone else got the opportunity to prove why they deserve a shot. This rule is only applicable to the COLUMNIST vote, not the single COLUMN vote.

12). In the event of a tie, regardless the number of people involved, the deadlock be broken by means of a re-vote with the tied parties as the only available candidates. Said re-vote will be three days long. If we still have a tie after that, fuck it, we've got two winners.

Don't forget to cast a vote for the Column of the Month gimmick as well. Just name which single column you felt was the best of the month. The actual Column of the Month. Just one. NOT AN ENTIRE SERIES. This will help make the process of voting for Column of the Year when it comes time for the Year End Awards that much easier, as well as give some well deserved props to someone who straight up knocked one out of the park in a given month.

With that out of the way, huge thanks to Rob for putting the following list of eligible columnists and their columns together. If you find something that was left out just let me know and I'll get it sorted.

Benjamin Button
Mil and Catrina: Hot and Cold

Bound to be Forgotten (Part 3/14)

Let's talk about... The G1 Climax
G1 Climax 2018

Kingzak presents: Extreme Rules 2018 Predictions

Perspective, Freedom, Reality?
Extreme Rules: Iron Man Match Sucked

The CF Underworld: I See Dead People!
The CF Underworld: Before We Cease to Wake Up
Imagination and Play: An Impromptu Introduction
Ben and Mystic Getting it done in 500 Words, More Or Less, Anyway: All In or Game Over for Flip Gordon? (w/Benjamin Button)

Bearly Reviewing 33 1/3 (continuing series)

Prime Time
The Lords of Pain World Heavyweight Championship - 1992-1995 (w/friends)
Take Up Thy Wrestling Boots and Walk #225 - To Be The Fan....
Take Up Thy Wrestling Boots and Walk - Part-Time Pros
Prime Time Warp (iii)

Crunch Time #54: How to Hate WWE - Part 1 of 1000

Rob S.
Chair Shots Presents: Bullet Club is NOT Fine!
Chair Shots Presents: 25 or 6 to 50 (2-Day Column)
Chair Shots Presents: Over-Rock-Sposure (1800 views? That can’t be right)
Chair Shots Presents: Dead on Arrival- A TripleR Mystery

Half Luck, Half Skul: August Madness - The Greatest SummerSlam Match (R1) (w/friends)
Half Luck, Half Skul: August Madness - The Greatest SummerSlam Match (R1) P2 (w/friends)

Super Hoody
Randy's Ravings: Slammiversary XVI

RPG: So, You Want to be a Rastler (Series)

Rock it, kids.

Voting ends on Friday, August 17th at 11:59 PM (CST) / 9:59 PM (PST) / Whatever o'clock :59 (other weird time zones)

08-10-2018, 07:32 PM
Columnist: Prime Time
Column: I See Dead People by Mystic

08-10-2018, 07:50 PM
Very tough choice between Pete, Shane, and Rob. Ultimately Rob went out on a great high note, so he's gonna snag my vote by a hair.

I'll second the vote for I See Dead People for individual. Chilling, deep, and moving, seriously great work.

08-11-2018, 04:41 AM
Prime gets all my votes this month.
Columnist and column for doing the Time Warp. Don't know if he wears the appropriate outfit for it though.

08-11-2018, 06:34 AM
I cannot go past Mystic this month, he is creative, emotive and insightful in everything he writes.
Column goes to Chair Shots Presents: Bullet Club is NOT Fine!

Super Hoody
08-11-2018, 06:42 AM
Columnist - Rob
Column - Time Warp

08-11-2018, 09:04 AM
Gonna go with Rob for columnist,

Also the thread isn't stickyed. dunno if that is just for me or for everyone.

08-11-2018, 12:24 PM
Columist - Rob
Column - I See Dead People by Mystic. Honourable mentions to Prime Time Warp, all of Rob's stuff and of course the always giving gift that is Bearly Reviewing.

08-12-2018, 09:24 AM
Columnist: Prime
Column: Pringle

Rob S.
08-13-2018, 09:50 AM
Going to vote for FrozenWaffle for bringing something new to the CF. For column, Benjamin Button's Mil and Catrina column

08-14-2018, 10:46 PM
Close month, though I'd give the nod to Mystic for columnist this month, with Prime and Rob as HMs.

Though my fav column was definitely Pringle's How To Hate WWE.

CF is picking up steam, lots of good columns!

08-16-2018, 07:09 AM
Columnist: Mystic - been reading through his July work over the past few lunch breaks; there's still nothing as unique, entrancing and creative as his stuff!

Column: This was a close one, but ultimately, my columnist of the month also scores the column of the month vote from me - The CF Underworld: I See Dead People!

Benjamin Button
08-16-2018, 01:31 PM
Mystic for columnist. Loved the Adrian fricken Adonis stuff. Hard to find columns on him.

Gonna go 2 for 2. Because I see Dead People did it for me. Can't go wrong when you get in the psyche of Piper...just really shows why I love the CF...it's such a broad range of wrestling and writing styles from different times and places.

08-20-2018, 04:29 AM
I'm going for Mystic for columnist, by a nose hair from Rob. And as others have said I See Dead People was the outstanding column.

Prime Time
08-20-2018, 06:04 AM
Oh, I thought we were well past the cut off point - I thought I'd missed the chance to vote for Rob?

If we're still counting votes I'll throw mine in.

Rob S.
08-20-2018, 08:12 AM
Looks like it was supposed to close on the 17th. If that's the case the way I read it we have a tie.

Prime Time
08-20-2018, 08:35 AM
I mean realistically it has to be a tie either way, right? Either both late votes count, or neither should do, and it's either a 4-4 or 5-5 result. I'll let Steve make a final ruling on what the actual result was in that case. But since it's obviously a tie either way and the rules for a tiebreak are clear I'll step in and get this moving along.

In terms of column, we've a clear result there, so congratulations to Mystic for I See Dead People!, which garnered five votes, beating out Prime Time Warp III and Pringle's lone entry, which both had two votes each.

But with Rob and Mystic tied in columnist voting, we now have a three-day run-off with only those two on the ballot. Voting will close on August 23rd, 2018 at 18:00 Eastern (17:00 Central).

08-20-2018, 08:51 AM
Oops, my bad guys - sorry that was past the buzzer.

08-20-2018, 03:53 PM
Oh dang, I thought we were doing dual winners now. I should double check the rules more often. Both guys deserve really richly deserve recognition this month. I guess I'll stick with my original vote but you really can't go wrong here.

08-20-2018, 04:26 PM
What Prime said is correct.

Due to me being a lazy shit, the three days will start today. You can place your vote for either Mystic or Rob. No other columnists are eligible during this tiebreaker period. As with the usual competition, please make your vote clear.

I'll go ahead and make it a full day for the last one, actually giving us around 3 and a half days. So...

Tiebreaker voting ends on Thursday, August 23rd at 11:59 PM (CST) / 9:59 PM (PST) / Whatever o'clock :59 (other weird time zones)

08-21-2018, 01:38 AM
I'll go with Rob

08-21-2018, 04:24 AM
Going to stick with my original vote of Mystic.

08-21-2018, 09:44 AM

Prime Time
08-21-2018, 11:29 AM
Sticking with Rob

08-21-2018, 12:18 PM

08-21-2018, 04:58 PM
Gonna stick with my original vote of Rob. Aka let's bring this baby back to a 3-3 draw!

Benjamin Button
08-21-2018, 06:49 PM
Mystic. Good game, gentleman!

08-21-2018, 07:33 PM
Rob Conway

08-21-2018, 08:11 PM
Geeze this is blow for blow people.

08-21-2018, 08:36 PM
Sticking with my original vote of Mystic. Kudos to Rob though for a great month.

08-22-2018, 05:06 AM

08-22-2018, 05:55 PM
Staying with Rob.

Rob S.
08-24-2018, 09:31 AM
So unless I'm missing something, it's still a tie

Votes for Rob- Dynamite Billington, Prime Time, The Implications, TheLAW, Kingzak
Votes for Mystic- Oliver, SirSam, Benjamin Button, Kleckamania, Pringle

Tied back at 5 each

08-24-2018, 10:00 AM
I got 6 for Mystic and 5 for Rob. I think you jumped pringle (thats what i did first count)

Rob S.
08-24-2018, 10:04 AM
Yup, you're right LAW. I miscounted.

Good show Mystic. That was a battle

08-24-2018, 10:43 AM
Thank you, Rob. Great stuff from you. I don't think it gets much better than this close a contest.

A big thank you to the folks who voted, either twice or came in for the tie-breaker. Been a long time since I was here, and it's much appreciated.

What this likely means is, sometime in the future, we will probably get a written Vader tribute on the MP.

08-24-2018, 01:20 PM
Well deserved win, huge recognition to both Rob and Shane. The idea of a Vader tribute from the Mystic is really tantalizing!

Prime Time
08-24-2018, 07:58 PM
Not to complicate things, but isn't it 6-6? Seems to me that Mizfan's vote has been missed off everyone's radar - including his own, apparently.

But yeah just read through again and I'm definitely getting a 6-6 tie.

08-24-2018, 10:59 PM
I totally skipped that one, but I agree; 6-6. Duel to the death?

08-25-2018, 02:18 AM
Yeah it is 6-6, Mizfan's vote is above Steve's little bit but after PT announced that there would be a 3 day vote off.

Epic duel.

Prime Time
08-25-2018, 08:46 AM
I believe we're at the point where Steve will toss a coin to decide this one - and if I've read the rules correctly, Rob will make the call since the first chronological vote for me is irrelevant now, and he garnered the second.

I'll take the opportunity before this happens to offer congratulations to both of you for a classic contest. A worthy winner, whichever way it goes.

Rob S.
08-25-2018, 01:01 PM
So with all due respect, I don't think a coin flip is fair for a double tie. I'd be perfectly fine sharing this.

08-25-2018, 01:11 PM
Much respect to you, Rob. I have been quiet on this, because I wanted you to to speak first, given the situation. But I think that two voting ties in a row means that two people deserve the win, and I would also rather not have this win than get by a coin flip.

08-25-2018, 01:13 PM
I'm with Mystic.
They want more main page content, why not have two Columnist of the month?
Both of you deserve it.

08-25-2018, 01:31 PM
I also think this deserves a tie. I'll be honest, I'd like to see an MP collab between Mystic and Rob.

08-25-2018, 09:14 PM
I'm with Mystic.
They want more main page content, why not have two Columnist of the month?
Both of you deserve it.


08-26-2018, 03:23 AM
I'm sorry I'm late to this. Story of my life lately. I frankly feel like I'm letting you guys down. That's another conversation for another day, though.

We do, indeed, have a double tie. There's no precedent for that. So I say this...

The win goes to the moderator in charge of the vote. That's me. I'm now an 8 time winner. Suck it.

OK, that's not cool. Sorry I told you to suck it.

We have a double tie. So as far as I'm concerned we have two winners. I mean, what other fair option is there? A coin flip would decide things but fuck, that's arbitrary. This is not an arbitrary contest. It's supposed to be about who's best.

We have two best. Mystic and Rob win. A collaboration would be fucking epic. Separate submissions for main page posting would be awesome. If you both choose to just let this ride and not do either, we're still good. It's not like people have been flocking to take advantage of the main page posting ability as of late, anyhow.

Excellent contest, gents. I love you both. Congratulations. Somewhat ironically, this dual win elevates you both to 6 Time Winners status. That's pretty fucking cool, in my book. Only two people in history have ever won more. To have you two among the (statistically) best 7 writers in this place's history is nothing if not fitting.

We all know the scores so I'm skipping the numbers thing. Just congratulate the winners. It was beyond well earned.

08-26-2018, 07:39 AM
Congrats homies! Both of you have been killing it lately. The CF in general is on a good rip.

Now that winning 6 of these is becoming a regular occurrence, I'm feeling the itch to dust off the 'ol keyboard.

Prime Time
08-26-2018, 08:17 AM
Yeah, I think that's a good call. I'll be honest I never liked co-winners traditionally and was glad to see the back of the automatic split. But when you've been through a run-off and they still can't be split, then I don't think it hurts at all - and I think it'd be hard on whoever was to lose on the flip of a coin.

There's an interesting little pattern here too, as since I won last time and Rob is one of the winners here, that in 50% of our COTM he has won in the contest after one of my victories. I can't imagine that's been replicated too often.

Rob S.
08-26-2018, 09:50 AM
Perfect! Couldn't think of a better way to go out. Love you all

Benjamin Button
08-26-2018, 10:27 AM
Nice job on your 6 wins with your 6 votes a piece on this 6 day after August 20! Good job to Rob for winning 2 in a row! Good job to Mystic for having put all 3 of his handles in the CF history page for COTM wins!

08-26-2018, 12:25 PM
Nice job on your 6 wins with your 6 votes a piece on this 6 day after August 20! Good job to Rob for winning 2 in a row! Good job to Mystic for having put all 3 of his handles in the CF history page for COTM wins!

Lord have mercy, I am one strange guy, but it's been a fun life so far!

I said it elsewhere, but I think having this extended period was good for the CF right now. Got some eyes on us again. Got some people invested. Thanks to everyone who made themselves part. Whether focused on All In, LU, Ring of Honor, New Japan, WWE, or many other promotions, let's knock out some damn good columns in the back portion of 2018!

08-26-2018, 01:04 PM
Spectacular stuff. Couldn't think of a more perfect ending!

08-27-2018, 12:52 PM
Congratulations, guys!

08-28-2018, 06:52 AM
Ah, well done lads, nice to tie it at the end and congrats to you both!