View Full Version : March 2019 Columnist of the Month Contest - Rob S. joins the 7 time club!

04-01-2019, 12:06 PM
Greeting, CF Fans!

With Pete traveling and Steve trapped in the terrible world of REAL LIFE, it falls to me for the first time ever to make this post. How the heck have I never done one of these before? And who am I asking? Everyone has already scrolled down to cast their vote! Wait for me, guys!

For anyone still reading, most of you know the drill by now but for any newcomers to the forum, full rules will follow. The short and long of it all is vote for who you think had the best work in the month! You can also vote for individual column as well.

Right, let's get to it!

The winner of the Columnist of the Month contest will receive the prize of having one column posted on the main page of LordsOfPain.net

1) The winner of Columnist of the Month is determined by which of the eligible columnists receives the largest amount of votes within the allotted voting period.

2). No voting for yourself.

3). You must vote for Columnist of the Month to be eligible to win. Should the person with the most votes not place a vote during the allotted timeframe, said person will be disqualified and the first runner up in terms of number of votes gained will be named the winner. One need not place a vote to be awarded single Column of the Month.

4). A columnist must have posted at least one column during the allotted time period in order to be eligible. Duh.

5). When voting, please name both the columnist and, if applicable, the title of their ongoing series in a bold and easily determined fashion. Makes it easier on us old mod folk to more clearly discern the votes, what with our cataracts and such.

6). Main page writers are ineligible to win either the Columnist or Column awards. The exception to this is if they were not called up until the next month. For instance, a writer who wrote stuff in April and was called up on May 3rd would still be eligible to win the April Columnist contest. The prize would just be a bit pointless, I guess. The reason that main page writers are ineligible to win the single Column award is simply because they could, and often do, post said column simultaneously on the main page. This is a CF award, so only CF writers are considered.

7). Please refrain from editing your vote once it is placed, so as to not fuck up the tally. Some circumstances, such as a noob vote for a main pager, are the only loopholes to this one and will be pointed out and handled by a moderator.

8). If a candidate is caught campaigning for CotM, either publicly or privately via PM or social media, they will be disqualified and quite possibly banned. Do your selling through your writing. Begging is lame.

9). Columns about columns (such as the State of the CF or End of Year CF Awards) are not eligible for COTM consideration and will not be counted in favor of their respective authors in the final tally for the month.

10). As it pertains to collaborations, there are a few variations that require clarification.
a) If it's a "tag team" style "traditional" collaboration (i.e.: ETA or The Power Trip or The Mega Column) then both members of the team must vote in order to claim victory as a team.
b) If a single columnist gathers a group of individuals for a "roundtable" collab, only the organizer of said series must vote in order to claim victory. For instance, if Jimmy McColumnGuyDuderson wants to break down the greatest jobbers of all time and asks two of his pals to help out, only Jimmy needs to vote in order to win the award should he garner enough votes since he is the blatant driving force, as opposed to the give and take equality of a "tag team" collab.
For the voters, if you wish to specifically vote for a "traditional" collab team, name both writers. If you wish to honor a "roundtable" collab, just name the organizer of said collab.

11) You cannot vote for a former main page writer until said writer is at least 4 months removed from their main page stint at the time of the voting period. For instance, if Writer McGee just left his main page spot in January and resumed writing in the CF, he is not eligible to win CotM until the May contest. This rule is included simply because it's kind of stupid to award a main page column to a writer who just gave up a gig in which the point was to post columns on the main page. If they wanted to be on the main page then they probably would've, you know, stayed on the main page. We get that the CF has a certain allure, what with the sense of community and ability to win awards from one's peers and all that, but let us not forget the reason why the CF exists in the first place. It's not to placate egos by handing out peer determined awards, it's to find writers for the Lords of Pain main page. If you've had that spot and chose to leave it, perhaps it's time that someone else got the opportunity to prove why they deserve a shot. This rule is only applicable to the COLUMNIST vote, not the single COLUMN vote.

12). In the event of a tie, regardless the number of people involved, the deadlock be broken by means of a re-vote with the tied parties as the only available candidates. Said re-vote will be three days long. If we still have a tie after that, fuck it, we've got two winners.

Don't forget to cast a vote for the Column of the Month gimmick as well. Just name which single column you felt was the best of the month. The actual Column of the Month. Just one. NOT AN ENTIRE SERIES. This will help make the process of voting for Column of the Year when it comes time for the Year End Awards that much easier, as well as give some well deserved props to someone who straight up knocked one out of the park in a given month.

Here are the columns posted in the last month for your consideration.


Benjamin Button
-To All The Stars I Loved Before
-Dead Or Alive 2019: Under New Management (First Round Battles)

-Wrestlemania Preview

-Fact or Fiction: Forum Edition (et al)
-Wrestlemania 35: Random Thoughts and Predictions

-Words from a Gooner: 7 Treatments for Wrestlemania Fever

-The Unofficial Columns Forum Top Trumps ULTIMATE TOURNAMENT 2018 (Bruno bracket Round 1)
-Fastlane 2019 Predictions
-The Unofficial Columns Forum Top Trumps ULTIMATE TOURNAMENT 2018 Round 2 (Vader bracket)
-Dead Or Alive 2019: Under New Management (First Round Battles)

Prime Time
-The Lords of Pain World Heavyweight Championship – 1999-2002 (et al)
-Castaway – with The Doc (1/2)

-All Elite Animal Farm
-Prelude to a World War

Rob S. (Table Breaks)
-Four Hands Are Better Than Two
-Two Men in a Diner
-Dead Or Alive 2019: Under New Management (First Round Battles)

-Half Luck, Half Skul: The Jobb Squad

-Mizzie & The Spin’s Total Non-Stop Wrestling Project #12 – New Champs Crowned! (w/mizfan)
-Dead Or Alive 2019: Under New Management (First Round Battles)

-My World: I couldn’t think of a snappy title, but Ronda Rousey sucks monkey ass!

Voting ends on Monday, April 8th at 11:59 PM (CST) / 9:59 PM (PST) / Whatever o'clock :59 (other weird time zones)

And with that, voting is now open!

04-01-2019, 12:24 PM
Columnist: R-Prof
Column: All Elite Animal Farm by R-Prof

04-01-2019, 01:07 PM
Column: Castaway – with The Doc (1/2) by Prime Time
Columinist: Rob S

04-01-2019, 01:12 PM
Column: My World: I couldn’t think of a snappy title, but Ronda Rousey sucks monkey ass!
Columnist: Rob

04-01-2019, 03:16 PM
Column : Words from a Gooner: 7 Treatments for Wrestlemania Fever
Columnist : Rob S.

04-02-2019, 07:31 AM
Column: Benjamin Button - To All the Stars I Loved
Columnist - R-Proof

04-02-2019, 03:27 PM
Tough choice between Prof and Rob, but I'll throw in for Rob S., with a great DOA battle putting him just over the edge.

For individual, loved Prof's NXT UK piece in particular but I gotta go for Benny's deeply poignant "For All The Stars I Loved Before.

04-02-2019, 10:45 PM
Dyno for column (FACT or FICTION)

King Zachary for columnist

Miss you guys. Be back soon love you bunchies

04-04-2019, 05:01 AM
Columnist: Rob S
Column: Skulduggery - The Jobb Squad

Rob S.
04-04-2019, 11:08 AM
I will reciprocate some love here.

R-Prof for columnist and his All Elite Animal Farm for column

04-04-2019, 04:36 PM
I'm going with Rob for columnist and LAW's Ronda column for column of the month.

04-09-2019, 11:30 PM
And that's another month in the book! Congratulations to Rob S., who joins the elite ranks of the 7 time COTM winner club. Only two other columnists have achieved this, Steven and SkitZ, and only one has ever won more. Not bad for a retired columnist!

For individual column, there were a lot of columns that got votes and we ended up with a three way tie, so congratulations to R-Prof's "All Elite Animal Farm", Benjamin Button's "To All The Stars I Loved Before" and TheLAW's "I couldn't think of a snappy title, but Ronda Rousey sucks monkey ass!". Three very different columns, which shows off the great versatility of our forum!

Congrats again to all the winners, and here's the voting breakdown for anyone who likes to keep track of such things:

Rob S. 6
R-Prof 4
kingzak13 1

Benjamin Button
04-10-2019, 02:27 AM
Congrats, Rob! You're a hell of a columnist!

04-10-2019, 06:53 AM
Congratulations Rob, pretty good for someone who hung up his chair, I guess that table is working pretty well for you.

04-10-2019, 11:36 AM
Hey! I kinda sortof technically won (tied for) a thing! First time ever for this guy! Thanks dudes. Rob, youre a beast. Congrats man!

04-11-2019, 06:05 AM
Many congrats to Rob for his seventh COTM! And happy to be in great company here with Button and Law for column of the month!

Rob S.
04-11-2019, 08:30 AM
Thanks everybody. It's great to know that you all still like what I have to offer. Being one of three with 7 wins is just astounding.

So....about that Hall of Fame thing?

04-12-2019, 03:02 AM
Congratulations Rob.

I’m sure you’ll be in the Hall of Fame one day.

Prime Time
04-12-2019, 06:40 AM
Well done Rob!

Don Franc
04-12-2019, 05:43 PM
Congratulations Rob!