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  1. #1

    That Time Dusty Rhodes Aquired Baby Doll (Ride, Baby Doll Ride!)

    Ride, Baby Doll, Ride!





    Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road
    I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more
    I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road
    I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more




    Fellers, especially you real young lions, I’d be remiss not to share with you this happenstance on the Headlock Ranch from July Twenty-Seventh, Nineteen Eighty-Five. Outside a horse stable, Dusty Rhodes’ dawg, lookin' like Faro’s ancestor, sensed somethin' unusual. But he looked content sniffin’ the unusual. After all, this was Dusty’s dawg…. The pet wudn’t frightened, just curious as to what be about, this time. The camera followed him to Baby Doll, who shoveled manure in a stall. Baby coughed and shoveled; she looked quite right in the cowboy boots and jeans.


    See, Dusty acquired Baby Doll’s services for thirty days by defeatin’ Tully Blanchard. The American Dream vowed to make a lady out of her, at the ranch! He made the vow public enough that every announcer and babyface in the Mid Atlantic leaned in to see the humiliation. Dusty’d make a lady outta her, yet, and in Dusty’s world a lady shoveled horse shit!


    As Baby Doll heaved the stank, the sound of steel from the highway swished at 60 miles an hour. Freedom called her. “Baby Doll! Run, Baby Doll!” Freedom shouted, “When will you be on your own, Baby Doll?”


    But only a man or woman with a plan can answer freedom. Right? You can’t very well gawddamn quit youll ranchin', without a plan. You can’t break outta prison, from the little cell, without a plan. What if they catch you? They gone tighten them cuffs ten times worse. And womens never acquired their rights without a plan. And these United States, I don’t suppose would be free without a plan. When the British came, freedom came with a price, I suppose. Cause freedom comes with courage, sometimes. And blood, too many times. And freedom comes with obstinances, most times. And I suppose somebody don’t like it, bout every time. And all these years before the me-too movement, not everybody liked Baby Doll.


    Camera showed that right next to a horse in the pasture: Dusty, his Uncle, and some stable boy did more shootin' the shit than ranchin'. Why wouldn’t they? Baby Doll took care of things, that day. Baby Doll approached them, askin' Dusty if she could ride the horse. Dusty told her to saddle him, first. He wanted to see if she be lady enough to do that. When she started wrapping that saddle around the steed, Dusty fired off, “Don’t help her! Don’t help her!” Still, all the detractors seemed impressed that this wudn't Baby Doll’s first literal rodeo, cause she did a hell of a job, saddlin' that horse!


    Now, when I say the announcers kept a close ear to see Baby Doll humiliated, let me tell you I mean even Johnny Weaver put that ear to the door! Weaver’s such a straight man in the Mid Atlantic, that I think he been there all 30 years it existed; and when it went away, he mighta just evaporated. Still, Weaver was announcin' by this time, and you could hear a grin in his voice when he said, “Bob, you got more of these videos of Dusty makin’ a lady out of Baby Doll.” Both men slid in good posture to edge of their seats, like they shirts was tucked with tablecloths, and they was gobblin’ it all up.


    When the saga went on, Baby Doll asked the horse’s name, and Dusty told her Floyd. Well, she mounted Floyd and circled the pasture twice. Then, she road 'bout the fenced area and took off to the trees. Finally, she whipped the horse down a 40-mile path, straight toward the wilderness!


    Dusty, his Uncle, and the boy could only scream for her. Dusty, with hands on his hips, warned, “Baby Doll, I’m gonna tear that hind up!”


    Now, of course, Dusty’d have to wait, cause baby Doll done took Floyd to her freedom! She planned it real good; and some might say, this was an early wrasslin' tale of women’s rights. Not all would say so though, for Dusty expressed to Bob Caudle another point of view.


    You know, there’s a threshold to sympathy that we allow a man with our ear. And to hear Dusty speak, there’s that magnetic attraction that captures the listenin'. He scorned Baby Doll for takin' Floyd, a ten-year-old horse, on a trip the old steed couldn’t handle. Dusty claimed he won her services fair and square for thirty days. And to give him the ear, you feel like he really wanted to do somethin' good for her. He even say he went out in that “ballin' hot sun” to tell her she done good! Give Dust that threshold, and you feel like he cared about her and wanted to lead her into a good path, not down that wilderness. You feel he wanted her affection. In the ear, he gives you the emptiness she left him with. He say she broke his heart. He warned her that when he find her, she gone get whipped fifteen times with his right hand!


    And his interviewer, Caudle, say Baby Doll never did do her part on that 30-day agreement. Caudle felt Dusty’d been ripped off.


    And inside Floyd’s empty stall, the uncle say to Dusty, while the dawg lay beneath em, that Floyd run away for 10 days before; that he hoped he come back, cause he’d hate to lose a good horse.


    As for the dawg, he sifted this craziness before. He wudn't surprised, I don't suppose.


    Aint point of view somethin'? Aint gettin a chance to see what shoulda just been a wrasslin' feud turn into a saga, that showed a more controllin' side of Dusty’s character and a more perseverin' side of Baby Doll’s, somethin'? Aint art somethin'? You could watch it and see a story 'bout a man fallin' in love with a bad woman, or you might see a woman ridin' away with her rights. Or you might see a story 'bout freedom, or one ‘bout love, or one 'bout beauty and the beast, or one 'bout a man losin' his horse. And to think, this coulda just been a match between Tully and Dusty!


    When you think about it, to a mind like Dusty's, it had to be something bigger than just what it started out to be.


    Fellers and Young Lions, what I guess I be sayin' is a match aint gotta be just a match, and a column aint gotta be just the column it started out to be, neither. Sometimes, when you feel you’re just doin' the chores or wearin' out over a pile of horseshit, you can walk on down to that there pasture, get on that ol’ horse, Floyd, and ride any subject, one like dualism for example, further out than anybody ever imagined! Cause, remember what that Uncle say, Floyd’s a gawddamn good horse!


    But what’d I know? I was just an ol’ stable boy on the Headlock Ranch, and this aint but one perspective.
    Last edited by Benjamin Button; 07-01-2019 at 12:32 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Perspective can be key when it comes to enjoyment in wrestling. There are some who see a match as just a match, and it's their prerogative to view the much as such. Others look deeper into the match, find stories that weren't meant to be there and that creates an illusion of grandeur. They search for plots That increase the value of a match. That perspective can make a tame match great.

  3. #3
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    Nice work building this up to the conclusion of advice for those in the YLC.

    Got to say, I kind of agree. When I got feedback from my initial draft for my entry, a couple of the experts questioned whether or not it was a wrestling column. I think it is, but maybe to some I've ridden that horse too far out...
    FACT or FICTION: The Battle for Authority
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  4. #4
    Don: Absolutely its fun to examine the nuances of the story. Could even increase one's enjoyment, like extends. Thanks, for the read!

    Dyna: From the one I read, it turned out well..its interesting to revisit your subject and make sure its an interesting angle on it, or an angle you can have fun writing. Really liked how your first column in the contest came out.

    Thanks, for the feed.
    Last edited by Benjamin Button; 07-06-2019 at 04:38 PM.

  5. #5
    The Brain
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    Read this in the voice of Sam Elliot and it was enhanced further.

    Perspective is a wonderful, there is so much that may look right or wrong, wise or foolish, progressive or regressive, based on a thousand factors outside of the original thought itself. More of Dusty is welcome from any perspective though. Lovely piece Benny, sorry it took me so long to read it!

  6. #6
    Ppl being able to watch it and it mean different things to diffetent people. That's art, my friend ...Seems Cody gets that idea, too, from what I've read from him.

    Many, Dusty has a treasure trove and him, baby doll, and Tully have a forgotten history.

    Sam Elliot is a great choice of narrator voice.

    Thanks for the read...there's no too late or too soon. Your feedback is always welcomed!
    Last edited by Benjamin Button; 07-11-2019 at 11:05 PM.

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