Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1

    (YLC-RD3) - Bray Wyatt's Last Stand

    (YLC - RD 3) - Bray Wyatt's Last Stand


    My name is Windham Lawrence Rotunda, and I am 32 years old but I have had many names. The sweat of my palms dripped from my brow due to the lashing of my character being punished deep into my dreaded locks. It is no wonder where I sit down today, being this Jekyll blood-colored jumper host of Firefly Fun House to "The Fiend" monstrosity that is Hyde, that I am in the midst of an identity crisis. Deep down, I feel that I don't have the whole wide world in my hands anymore.

    It wasn't easy growing up in the nest of golden eggs that's my family lineage. My Grandfather was Blackjack Mulligan. Distinct and full of identity, he got over during his illustrious career even in losing efforts to Andre The Giant in the historic Madison Square Garden in a squash match. Like me, Grandpa Robert changed, became masked as the "Big Machine, I guess change runs in the family. Despite it being brief, he had the faith and the direction from Mr. McMahon. He was the puppeteer to his string as he fastened that bow without the hassle or the drivel that caused me to feel confused and befuddled today.

    I am paid handsomely, so why am I so scribbled in the mind? There is no smile in my mirror, as I know that money can't buy you happiness. I contain a well of ideas, yet they scarcely allow me to seek my reflection. It's intriguing to not merely make comparisons to my flesh from yesterday-year, but also my younger brother. You may know him as Bo Dallas, but to me, he is Taylor Michael Rotunda.

    We blazed a trail of victory in our youth, winning the Florida Championship Wrestling tag-team belts together. Taylor was the only one to claim the top Heavyweight crown, on three occasions no less. You think at that trajectory by this point he would reach "Big Dog" or "Kingslayer" levels but that isn't the case my friend. My brother was left out to dry, falling into obscurity by literally being a B-plus player with fellow generational talent Curtis Axel. While I am grateful I get consistent TV time these days, there's no pleasure to witness someone with so much promise and push has been shoved into a black chasm of mediocrity. I know how that feels.

    We all need balance in life. So it is important amidst an identity crisis to reflect over my accomplishments to date. I was the top of the tree as your WWE Champion, my fireflies by vanquishing prime-time John Cena as well as The Miz, Baron Corbin, Dean Ambrose, and AJ Styles within the demonic Elimination Chamber. Few reach the top of the mountain. With names such as Bruno Sammartino, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Hulk Hogan filling me with pride, I hold my baby boy Knash Rotunda in my arms because at the very least I can look at him in the eye and say to him -

    I teamed up with the legendary Matt Hardy.

    I led my faction named The Wyatt Family.

    I was one of the earliest jigsaw puzzles to the NXT we witness today.

    I have a lot to be thankful for. Yet, the wick of the candle burned out and it has liquidated me into a puddled mess. The more I dissect my success, the more it smacks me in the face that my crisis has been deep-rooted from the damaged roots of this tree. While I smiled at my accolades, I fell into a pile of rotten muck in the dawning reality of brutal assault of my identity.

    The compound torched by Randy Orton was a fitting metaphor of the foundation of my house burned to ashes. Here I was, finally holding this rope of dreams. Disappointing, it blackened to the stuff of nightmares as the gasoline-filled flames choked all my oxygen. After suffering defeat at the hands of The Viper at that godforsaken bout at Wrestlemania 33, I felt like a robot ready scrapped into the heap. Watching a seasoned veteran nearing his curtain call go over, punting the prime soldier ready to go to war for many years into the desolate desert, reeled me into an uncomfortable corner. There was no way out.

    Speaking of Wrestlemania, I was soon once again lured into a scene of embarrassment by the old festering guard. I waited in the wings whilst Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson was in the egotistical form of applying a flamethrower to blowtorch his name. I knew what was about to happen benefited nobody except the man of the past. My brothers The Wyatt Family, alongside yours truly, were made a mockery and a joke in this nonsensical segment. Detractors would say that one should be honored to be in the same ring as The Brama Bull. I was not. To see Erik Rowan squashed like a bug in mere seconds gave me no pleasure. To think of it, not only does this identity crisis afflict the eater of worlds, but also Luke Harper and Erik Rowan. Away from the fireflies and shadow scripters, I call them Jonathan Huber and Joseph Rudd.

    The cauldron pot, once stirred, can transform the potential to excel. Jonathan could have been as prominent as one individual that was completely lost in the shuffle and discarded out of a pack of cards. The name being Lance Archer. Lance has shone brightly in the land of the rising sun and shares similar physical attributes as Luke Harper. Magnificent and valuable like a million-dollar mansion. My brother Jon, yet, is displayed as a knockoff dilapidated boat. Bitterly disillusioned, his World Wrestling Entertainment became the prison that many of my peers and yours dwell in. Lance, once nurtured, can steam up great recipes and stories for the audience and universe to devour. Jonathan Huber was and still is malnourished.

    Lest we forget the misguided Bludgeon Brothers with the loss of their first names to Harper and Rowan. Joseph, like Jonathan Huber, was unlucky with injury. However, he has unfortunately been an afterthought even with the recent Smackdown Tag Title victory with Daniel Bryan. The sheep mask my brother wore during the Wyatt Family could be personified as trying his best to follow the flock. He was never allowed to be the shepherd. It is upsetting to witness that shelf life in wrestlers has resulted in talent festering away. One can argue that if you insert many people in one house, then not all will be fed accordingly. I'm sorry but you shouldn't invite humans into your abode if you cannot satisfy. This results in neglect and death within their coffin.

    Before I discuss the present-day within my "Yowee-Wowee" persona, I'd like to reflect on one more individual. My Father Laurence Michael Rotunda, but known to you all as Irwin R. Schyster. 'stories have' in Story-lines and arcs have a beginning, middle, and end. whereby there needs to be a hook and a level of emotional investment from the fans to gain notoriety and frivolous energy of your stock moving forward. Okay, I admit that I may have achieved more in my career in terms of gold, yet, him going from a tax collector to then at Money Inc. shifting to The Million Dollar Corporation is four years of consistency and booking of my Dad. This was a four-year arc of my Father whilst looking back using cobwebbed tapes as I was a cherub back in those days...IRS had a distinctive identity. I stand before you as a 32-year-old man in crisis.

    Now all my words may have darted through various paradigms like a rambling rabbit, but I can assure you that is how convoluted my mind is to date. I have been off TV cold-turkey for months on end with a complete reboot. I am still sat down today with this blood-colored jumper of mine wondering if this is my second coming. Over and over I have been let down by the creative process is not allowing my character to breathe, resulting in the story of Bray Wyatt convoluted and having more questions than solutions.

    Will I fulfill my full potential?

    Will I lead my flock again?

    Will I find my identity in the long term?

    These are the questions that run constantly in my mind. Soon I will embark on my first match in around a year against Finn Balor and I shake my seat in anxiousness. Winning or losing is not the be-all and end-all in wrestling yet, with talking a tough game and having the whole wide world in my hands, I need to be credible. I need to make sure this all goes swimmingly well. I need to make sure it is all right.

    Otherwise, I will lose my identity forever and I will sink so deep I won't be able to come back. This is my last stand

    Let me in.



    -------------------------------------------------------

    Writer's Note -

    Just want to say thank you to all the mentors that have helped me throughout the process - BEAR, mizfan, RyanLeafPlant, SirSam, Skulduggery as I'm truly grateful. In addition I want to say thanks to PRIME TIME for running this tournament alongside judges Doc, Samuel Plan and Maverick, you all that i've stated have written amazing articles for many years and have inspired me to take the plunge and write wrestling articles. No matter what happens moving forward I am honored to be a part of the LOP Family and I would want to continue improving and doing the best I can to the best of my ability.

    Much love x

  2. #2
    You know who I am, but you don't know why I'm here
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    72
    Yet again, tons of potential shown here. I was sucked into your prose from the start. Quite evidently, an intelligent human being crafted this piece. Eventually, the smarts have to translate to the little things like proofreading, though. Errors have weighed you down. Your writing is like a sophisticated lucha libre match that flirts with brilliance but is plagued by botches in bulk. Get your "timing" down and your writing will soar.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by The Doc View Post
    Yet again, tons of potential shown here. I was sucked into your prose from the start. Quite evidently, an intelligent human being crafted this piece. Eventually, the smarts have to translate to the little things like proofreading, though. Errors have weighed you down. Your writing is like a sophisticated lucha libre match that flirts with brilliance but is plagued by botches in bulk. Get your "timing" down and your writing will soar.
    I feel you Doc! I feel that this is my main issue and I've worked so hard to try my best in doing this but I feel I need to really nail it down and keep working hard! I also tried hard to do it in the voice of Bray but thank you for the feedback sir as I want to keep working hard and improve

  4. #4
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    TrowVegas
    Posts
    703
    I'm a big fan of Wyatt. He's one of the few recently created characters that I'm truly curious to see - in both incarnations we've seen so far. And I don't think this new one will be his last either. I suspect he'll be like Mick Foley, occasionally reinventing himself into a new version of the character. Maybe one day we'll even get the 3 faces of Wyatt at a Rumble like we did with Foley that year?
    FACT or FICTION: The Battle for Authority
    PM me to get involved.

  5. #5
    Main Pager Maverick's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    Hipsterville By Sea, United Kingdom
    Posts
    95
    Ah, the LOP "creative piece" ...

    I am infamous for hating these (mostly because hardly anybody ever does these half as well as they think they do), so take what I'm going to say with that in mind.

    In terms of pure narrative voice, I did not get any sense of Bray Wyatt (or Wyndham Rotunda's) personality from your prose. It could have been literally anyone narrating this account. You also veered between kayfabe and shoot a bunch of times, which put me off. I think a better approach would've been to use the Husky/Bray/Firefly Funhouse/Fiend characters in conflict with each other in an in-universe piece. I also thought the rhetorical questions at the end were clumsy and un-necessary.

    There were some nice turns of phrase here and there, but this was a miss for me, on this occasion.

  6. #6
    Do I shit in the woods? BEAR's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    127
    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    In terms of pure narrative voice, I did not get any sense of Bray Wyatt (or Wyndham Rotunda's) personality from your prose. It could have been literally anyone narrating this account.
    Remember that feedback I gave you when you reached out, this is why. You really have to go all out, or don't do it.

  7. #7
    Author of 101 WWE Matches To See Before You Die Samuel 'Plan's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    673
    So professional wrestling is, more than anything, a fiction, especially in WWE and especially with fantastical characters like Bray Wyatt. This means that, if you're going to write a piece of wrestling-related prose from a first person POV related to such a character, you're first confronted with the choice Mav mentioned: are you going to write from the perspective of the fictional character or the performer?

    In the case of the latter, a lot of the voice you then have to commit is going to be assumed - you can maybe listen to interviews or the likes to get a feel for how they talk naturally, for their individual idiosyncrasies, but we can only guess at what their inner-monologue sounds like. In the case of the former, you can listen to promos and the like for the manner their character is written (luckily with WWE, most of them all sound the same, right?!) and while some guess work is still going to be involved, because you're dealing with a fictional construct anyway it's far easier to nail it in general terms. But what you can't get away with doing is mixing the two together unless it's for a specific purpose that translates explicitly for the reader. This mixed the two, and if the specific purpose was there it was't explicit to me, the reader. The result was confusing to me, and I often had to try and retrace the thread of the thoughts your Bray was sharing to keep my bearings.

    So if you go for something like this again, remember to commit fully to one or the other, or to ensure that if you're mixing the two together to achieve a certain ends, that those ends are going to be clear to the reader. It's difficult to do that, even for practiced and professional fictional writers I think (!), so around here I'd always advise a writer to stick to one or the other.

    Capturing the voice in either instance needs to be your top priority too, and often that can mean writing in a manner that feels counter-intuitive to you (you meant in general terms, referring to 'the writer'). I don't write, naturally, in a manner that could be compared to the way Roman Reigns talks and possibly thinks, for example. So if I wrote a piece like this from the POV of Reigns, I'd have to work extremely hard to ensure my natural inclinations aren't overriding my purpose - to sound convincingly like Roman Reigns. You have such a naturally distinct voice of your own on the page, with clear natural inclinations as a writer, that I'm not convinced that was a battle you always won.

    What I will say, however, is that you wrote with the same effervescent energy you've written with since your first piece here at LOPForums, your own sense of identity (perhaps ironically, given the round's topic!) remains one of the most instantly identifiable and I do love the passion you write with. I'd also say that, having emphasised your sentence structure last round specifically, I thought there was a huge improvement on that front this round which I'm elated by as a judge! So do keep that up. This generally felt like a much cleaner piece of prose because of it.

    Moving forward, when we're out of this tournament environment, keep in mind everything your judges and mentors have said and try and find that balance between your natural manner of writing and the various bits of pieces of feedback you've had to find your final voice. It might take some time and, you know, if you are indeed a poet at heart, it might even have to involve just allowing yourself to be a poet now and then - there's no rule here saying you can't pass comment on what you want to say about wrestling in the form of poetry rather than prose, and I sometimes sense that your inner-poet is fighting with the prose you're trying to write. Just something to mull over.

    Also, things like your note (much appreciated by the way, thank you!) I feel are best left to the Forum threads rather than your actual columns!

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by DynamiteBillington View Post
    I'm a big fan of Wyatt. He's one of the few recently created characters that I'm truly curious to see - in both incarnations we've seen so far. And I don't think this new one will be his last either. I suspect he'll be like Mick Foley, occasionally reinventing himself into a new version of the character. Maybe one day we'll even get the 3 faces of Wyatt at a Rumble like we did with Foley that year?
    I mean it would be nice! I feel it has been such a while since it last happened that it would be fresh enough!




    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick
    Ah, the LOP "creative piece" ...

    I am infamous for hating these (mostly because hardly anybody ever does these half as well as they think they do), so take what I'm going to say with that in mind.

    In terms of pure narrative voice, I did not get any sense of Bray Wyatt (or Wyndham Rotunda's) personality from your prose. It could have been literally anyone narrating this account. You also veered between kayfabe and shoot a bunch of times, which put me off. I think a better approach would've been to use the Husky/Bray/Firefly Funhouse/Fiend characters in conflict with each other in an in-universe piece. I also thought the rhetorical questions at the end were clumsy and un-necessary.

    There were some nice turns of phrase here and there, but this was a miss for me, on this occasion.
    Thank you for your feedback Mav! I will say that for me I tried to do it in Bray's voice but in the back of my head I had fears of sentence structure and grammar so I felt I was a rabbit in headlights! However, I felt I have learned so much in listening to the mentors and the feedback given! I'm blessed to have a great community to which i'll continue to work hard! Hopefully I will improve with more work!



    Quote Originally Posted by BEAR
    Remember that feedback I gave you when you reached out, this is why. You really have to go all out, or don't do it.
    Aye man! I feel that sadly I felt that I was in a losing battle after the first draft as I did as many edits as I felt i could within the time left! However, I understand I gotta go "All out" for pieces like this moving forward! Thanks so much for your help


    Quote Originally Posted by Samuel Plan
    So professional wrestling is, more than anything, a fiction, especially in WWE and especially with fantastical characters like Bray Wyatt. This means that, if you're going to write a piece of wrestling-related prose from a first person POV related to such a character, you're first confronted with the choice Mav mentioned: are you going to write from the perspective of the fictional character or the performer?

    In the case of the latter, a lot of the voice you then have to commit is going to be assumed - you can maybe listen to interviews or the likes to get a feel for how they talk naturally, for their individual idiosyncrasies, but we can only guess at what their inner-monologue sounds like. In the case of the former, you can listen to promos and the like for the manner their character is written (luckily with WWE, most of them all sound the same, right?!) and while some guess work is still going to be involved, because you're dealing with a fictional construct anyway it's far easier to nail it in general terms. But what you can't get away with doing is mixing the two together unless it's for a specific purpose that translates explicitly for the reader. This mixed the two, and if the specific purpose was there it was't explicit to me, the reader. The result was confusing to me, and I often had to try and retrace the thread of the thoughts your Bray was sharing to keep my bearings.

    So if you go for something like this again, remember to commit fully to one or the other, or to ensure that if you're mixing the two together to achieve a certain ends, that those ends are going to be clear to the reader. It's difficult to do that, even for practiced and professional fictional writers I think (!), so around here I'd always advise a writer to stick to one or the other.

    Capturing the voice in either instance needs to be your top priority too, and often that can mean writing in a manner that feels counter-intuitive to you (you meant in general terms, referring to 'the writer'). I don't write, naturally, in a manner that could be compared to the way Roman Reigns talks and possibly thinks, for example. So if I wrote a piece like this from the POV of Reigns, I'd have to work extremely hard to ensure my natural inclinations aren't overriding my purpose - to sound convincingly like Roman Reigns. You have such a naturally distinct voice of your own on the page, with clear natural inclinations as a writer, that I'm not convinced that was a battle you always won.

    What I will say, however, is that you wrote with the same effervescent energy you've written with since your first piece here at LOPForums, your own sense of identity (perhaps ironically, given the round's topic!) remains one of the most instantly identifiable and I do love the passion you write with. I'd also say that, having emphasised your sentence structure last round specifically, I thought there was a huge improvement on that front this round which I'm elated by as a judge! So do keep that up. This generally felt like a much cleaner piece of prose because of it.

    Moving forward, when we're out of this tournament environment, keep in mind everything your judges and mentors have said and try and find that balance between your natural manner of writing and the various bits of pieces of feedback you've had to find your final voice. It might take some time and, you know, if you are indeed a poet at heart, it might even have to involve just allowing yourself to be a poet now and then - there's no rule here saying you can't pass comment on what you want to say about wrestling in the form of poetry rather than prose, and I sometimes sense that your inner-poet is fighting with the prose you're trying to write. Just something to mull over.

    Also, things like your note (much appreciated by the way, thank you!) I feel are best left to the Forum threads rather than your actual columns!
    Haha plan I will put the note out of the columns my bad! Yes thanks muchly for your words, I echo all that you said in the previous comments I said with the quote replies! Oh absolutely, I feel that poetry is very natural to me as it has been my jam for a while! Therefore, trying to convert that to writing in structured sentences within a piece isn't easy for me!

    However, I finished 3rd and I am proud with a plethora of young lion talent!

    My bad all for taking a while to reply, been working all week! And a rollerskating/play place is popular in summer holiday/vacation!

  9. #9
    The Brain
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    3,213
    For my part I'll say I'm really pleased you took on some of the suggestions about sentence structure I sent you, and I think it helped improve an already good and interesting piece. It's been very fun to see you write in this tournament, and I really hope you don't disappear now!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •