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  1. #1
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    Mizzie & The Spin's Total Non-Stop Wrestling Project #19- The Tricky Triangle of Abuse

    Mizzie & The Spin’s Total Non-Stop Wrestling Project


    MF: Greetings, mizfan fans and Spinnerets! So, just when you think things couldn’t get any weirder, suddenly it seems you’re being more positive about the matches more than I am! Any explanation for this, Spin? Or should I say, who are you and what you done with the real Spinner?!?

    SM: It is October, so maybe we are experiencing an Invasion of the Body Snatchers. If that means someone else is going to have to suffer through the early days of TNA then I say take my body and do what they will. What a twist to the column.

    MF: Most likely a swerve worthy of Russo himself. Now that I’ve summoned his evil presence by speaking his names, let’s look on his works and despair, shall we?

    NWA/TNA #20
    Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
    November 6th, 2002



    Jorge Estrada (w/Priscilla) vs. Bruce (w/Lenny)



    Return of the Prodigay Son


    MF: The NWA recently had an anniversary show, featuring many of the talents and weird acts from TNA. Probably not what they imagined 50 years ago. We go quickly backstage, where Goldilocks is forced to interview Bruce and his partner Lenny, whom I sincerely hoped we’d seen the last of. In probably the least logical swerve yet, Goldilocks wants to go on a date with Bruce, but he rejects her. I honestly don’t even know what to say about that.

    SM: I can just imagine Harley Race, Ricky Steamboat and The Rock 'n' Roll Express competing in a reverse battle royal Dupp Cup Classic Midget in A Garbage Can on a Pole Match! That would be the true highlight of their collective careers. Just when we think that Goldi is the one competitor above all this shit, Russo drags her down to the depths of hell.

    MF: Lenny comes to the ring seductively eating a banana, and even Tenay has to roll his eyes at that. Bruce and Lenny hug and pat each other’s butts and are booed for it. Look, Alan Funk/Kwee Wee may not be a bad wrestler (he’s not great but not horrible), but when he’s doing this shtick it’s hard to see past it to anything else in the match. Even putting that aside, all the big moves in this match look very slow and clumsy to me. Bruce is about to win so Priscilla comes in and kisses him, which disgusts him. Lenny and Bruce menace Priscilla and then awkwardly stand where Jorge can dive on them but not her. Bruce literally slips on the banana peel Lenny was eating earlier. This is very stupid dumb. Bruce is counted out in a dumb match that is mercifully over. I guess a fluke countout win is enough to satisfy Jorge’s desire for revenge for his girlfriend being assaulted.

    SM: In TNA a countout win is like a trip to Vega in American Ninja Warrior. Throw in the fluke and you've got the Stage 4 completion. So proud of you Jorge. Such a hard battle and a well earned fluke!! Moves me to tears young Elvis. You've defeated the evil gay men and vanquished them to higher up the card! That'll show them! Small points for Jorge trying.

    SM Rating: ¾*
    MF Rating: Stupid and Annoying



    B.G. James vs. Sonny Siaki



    That's One Attractive Butt Cheek


    MF: Goldilocks journey through purgatory continues, as she has to talk to Sonny Siaki and she is HATING it. Sonny says he’s the reason women watch the show and Goldi makes fun of him. Sonny says Goldi wants him and whispers something gross and sexual.

    SM: There's the Goldi I know and love. She knows how utterly revolting Siaki is and my hope is that she will take him down seven or eight pegs soon. Wait, this is TNA so the end result is probably a sexual relationship with lots of abuse.

    MF: Before the match Road Dogg says Sonny Siaki is as attractive as an ass cheek. He says this with not one but three little rat tail beards hanging off his face. My opinion of Road Dogg has plummeted thanks to TNA, he’s horribly exposed as a supposedly main event level singles guy. Don West compares Siaki to Muhammed Ali, which is, yikes. Dogg wins as I doze off.

    SM: Siaki is boring, Road Dogg should not be a Main event singles star, and I think that I have broken Mizfan and his positivity streak. I've never seen you so down on matches. This was boring but I wouldn't call it a terrible match. The least I can say is that it was a watchable slugfest that no one would want to see happen again.

    SM Rating: *¾
    MF Rating: Painfully Boring



    Chris Harris & James Storm vs. Brian Lee & Slash (w/James Mitchell), NWA Tag Team Championships



    Bring on the Blood!


    MF: In case you were wondering, the faces don’t treat Goldilocks any better than the heels, because we go backstage to see Chris Harris screaming at a flinching Goldi that they won’t take anymore shit. Harris thinks he’s gone a little bit insane and wonders what the hell the New Church is. James Storm says he’s a bad son of a bitch. Storm says sorry ‘bout your damn luck for maybe the first time, so that’s something.

    SM: This is like hearing "I'm too old for this shit" the first time! I love me some James Storm and AMW but they really need to stop having every wrestler verbally abuse Goldilocks.

    MF: Feels like we’re rushing to this match, but look who’s booking! I do like how Mitchell cuts his nails and his eyebrows and such to look more evil. He says before the match that AMW will pay for their ignorance with their blood. AMW comes out HOT! Man, Slash gets busted open fast and is bleeding quite a bit. Mitchell jabs Storm with a spike!! Lots of good action here, god bless AMW. Ugly chair shot to Harris’ head, but Harris kicks out. Ha, the crowd keeps chanting for “evil”. Brian Lee uses the spike in front of the referee and the match gets thrown out. I’m actually quite down with this feud continuing, give us some kind of hardcore stipulation and see what these teams can do.

    SM: This was a fun little brawl that left a lot in the tank for future matches. This has the potential to be the first full feud that is built well and leads to a satisfactory conclusion. With Russo booking that means we will probably get this exact match five times and then everyone will be made to forget that they were even fighting. If only this was a regular promotion where I could be pumped about the future of this series.

    SM Rating: **½
    MF Rating: ****



    Syxx Pac vs. Brian Lawler (w/April)



    Whyyyyyyyy!!???


    MF: Lawler comes out first but somehow also manages to sneak attack Waltman from behind as he enters. Lawler really wants April to slap Waltman, but she doesn’t want to. The crowd chants, “she’s got herpes”, yeesh… God bless Waltman for trying, though as I say that he’s taking time out of the Bronco Buster to rub his dick extra hard on Lawler’s face. Then he goes outside, grabs April, and shoves his tongue down her throat. Ugh. Lawler gets mad and roughly wipes April’s face off and calls her a slut. This is uncomfortable. Waltman wins the match but so much of the match was built around the gross angle it’s hard to give the wrestling any credit. After the match Waltman grabs April and forces her to leave with him. This is one of the worst storylines I’ve seen. Oh. My. God. As I type that, Lawler has a “heart attack” in the ring. April wants to go help him but Waltman roughly restrains her. April finally breaks free. So this storyline is about two abusive manipulators fighting over the girl they want to abuse? Jesus, this isn’t the worst storyline TNA has done but it’s real close.

    SM: Are you sure about that man? I think I'd rather watch the Dupp Cup for the next eight weeks instead of one more minute of this soap opera crap. I give a very small amount of credit to the match for having a couple wrestling moves in it. I can't say it was pure shit in the ring even if the story is beyond salvation.

    SM Rating: ¼*
    MF Rating: Unpleasant and Uncomfortable



    Who is Mr Wrestling III? Do I Actually Want To Know?



    Jarrett Learned Lots in Detention With Umbridge


    MF: Earlier today Mike Tenay sat down with Ron Killings. Killings says Mike Tenay is the only one he trusts in this company. Killings signed a contract for a title match with Mr Wrestling III, so if the mystery man reveals himself and signs he gets a free title match. Kind of negates the important of the #1 contendership tournament, but at least they justified it with the angle.

    SM: So if I ever want a World Title match all I need to do is put on a mask, attack the champion a couple times, and wait for him to offer me a shot. Note taken! Thanks Russo for the helpful tip.

    MF: Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring immediately after this and proclaims Ron Killings is very dumb. He makes Tenay bring the contract in the ring. Jarrett teases that he’ll sign it and admit he’s Mr Wrestling, but then he tears it up instead. He’s not Mr Wrestling and he won’t let the mystery man get a title shot ahead of him. Jarrett says he’ll get the title shot by winning the tournament and become champion that way. So Jarrett will sneak attack Curt Hennig and make him bleed out all his blood, but he won’t tell a lie to get a free title match. Got it.

    SM: I'm completely confused by this logic. I would have been completely ok with Jarrett coming out and lying about being Mr Wrestling in order to get a title shot. It would have fit his character and shown how smart of a heel he was. Edge would have signed the contract. Why can't all heels be as opportunistic as Edge. Now that's a smart man!



    Kid Kash vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. Joel Maximo vs. Jose Maximo vs. Ace Steel (w/Mortimer Plumtree), Elimination Tables Match



    Do Your Thing D-Von


    MF: Another edition of throwing X Division guys together to see what happens, though that isn’t the worst thing. Mamaluke takes Ace Steel out first with a DDT through a table. Mamaluke goes next with a Maximo moonsault. Despite a two on one advantage Kash gets the win, doing a hurricanrana off the top rope to one Maximo down onto the other Maximo on a table all the way on the floor. Impressive but the Maximos look like punks at this point, unable to win any of these elimination matches by working together. Very pleased Kash won though, and the match was fun chaos.

    SM: The best part of this match is that they managed to do the same thing while also adding enough difference to make it feel special. The wrinkle of being a tables elimination match didn't get as much attention as I had hoped. I think the talent involved should have utilized the gimmick more and made this something truly memorable. With that being said, even a standard match with table eliminations is above average when these men are involved.

    SM Rating: ***¾
    MF Rating: ****



    Curt Hennig vs. Jeff Jarrett



    Jarrett and Henning: Brawl Stars


    MF: Jarrett says Hennig hasn’t been seen today, and talks about being Intercontinental Champion in WWF. They just can’t stop themselves. Jarrett tells the referee to count Hennig out and give him the win. Hennig shows up in street clothes and attacks Jarrett to start things off. They brawl through the crowd pretty wildly and Hennig smacks down a couple referees in the process. A referee finally survives long enough to DQ Hennig. Can’t really call it a good match but I actually thought the brawling was pretty ok, and it certainly served the angle a lot better than the weird squash last week.

    SM: Until the DQ was called I didn't even realize that this was an actual match. I thought the two men were just brawling around the arena and adding to their heated feud. As a segment I enjoyed it and it did what was needed to build up this feud and leave us wanting a payoff that may never come. As a match, it wasn't one, and I can't give it any stars because of that.

    SM Rating: Not A Match
    MF Rating: **¼



    AJ Styles (w/Mortimer Plumtree) vs. Jerry Lynn, TNA X Division Championship



    Saving TNA From Day One


    MF: They show some quotes including one from Dave Meltzer praising the Styles/Lynn matches of the past. I like there are two stories in play here, the generational divide and two wrestlers who know each other backwards and forwards. The latter gives us a lot of nice anticipation spots, which I always appreciate as long as they’re well earned. Sonny Siaki shows up and pulls the ref out when Lynn is about to win. Plumtree puts a chair in the corner and Lynn’s head gets run into it, but when the ref recovers AJ still can’t get the pin. Lynn rallies to win back the X Division title! Great match overall, though I still feel like they had an even better singles match between them that never fully materialized.

    SM: For two reasons I cannot give this a perfect score. First off, like you said, the two of them constantly have felt like they are holding something back or hindered by the storylines of the company. There is a perfect match there but it just hasn't materialized. The second problem is that the ending, while exciting, is a little too overbooked for me. The interference from Siaki and Plumtree, the chair and the hard to believe kick outs did not aid the match in its final minutes. That being said, Lynn and Styles managed to tear the house down once again and make these shows worth watching. Finding these diamonds in the rough are what this project was all about for me. So happy for the X-division and its many competitors.

    SM Rating: ****½
    MF Rating: ****½



    MF: Another week, another mixed bag, Spinny. The bad half seemed especially bad this week for whatever reason, so I dearly hope we aren’t heading in the wrong direction with the company again.

    SM: While I have joked that you are becoming more negative, the truth remains that these past few shows have felt like a journey back down into the depths that we have slowly been climbing out of. If we continue with this soap opera bull crap and brawling nonsense then I see no way that we can hope to turn things around.

    MF: What am I saying, when has this company not headed in the wrong direction? And we’ll head right after them, I have no doubt! Say goodbye to the nice people, Spinny!

    SM: Goodbye nice people! Until next time, keep spinning through life and remember never lie but always sneak attack, it's the Jarrett way!

  2. #2
    Man, kudos to you guys for keeping up the trying.

    Some funny commentary on this one. The disgust is gold and I wouldnt know another way to act.

    The couple positives I can think of here is anything with James Mitchell and anything with Jerry Lynn.

    The sorry bout your damn luck being used for possibly the first time is pretty cool. Its a simple line but I like it. Always have.

    Siaki being compared to Ali....LOL
    See the latest of my Ric Flair saga click here. http://lordsofpain.tv/showthread.php...acock-(Part-2) View my story inspired by colorful wrestlers I've come across in my fandom. http://lordsofpain.tv/showthread.php...-the-Challenge

  3. #3
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    After last week's good opener TNA has to fuck it up with this nonsense. Consistency is key and they certainly can't continuously find the right one in the bunch. Slipping on a banana peel? Are you serious? That's legit dumb.

    Finally some new blood for AMW. And who doesn't like hardcore shenanigans, right?

    What the hell? I though Pac was the good guy in all of this. When did he become like Lawler. Double Turn? Wtf? I need answers guys. This is very confusing. Hopefully that heart attack keeps Lawler out for a while.

    Continuing on my comments about Jarrett from the previous episode, who is he? Dastardly, opportunistic heel or fair, competitive badass. Another wtf from me.

    Okay, so reading the previous two shows had me thinking that TNA were starting to get more and more shit right but dammit if this show tornadoed that thought out if the way quicker than that F5 to Kofi. They have a lot of making up to do on their next show. Fun as always guys.

  4. #4
    The Brain
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    Spinny, I don't think you understand how much I hated the Dupp Cup... still, it's a close call. Love your bits and the pics man, you're the best.

    Benny! All we can do is try. James Mitchell is good shit and so is Jerry Lynn. Sonny Siaki is slowly falling down my list from an average guy to a guy I don't really want to see. Thanks for the feed my friend.

    Donny! Always great to see you around. I can give you no answers when it comes to Waltman and Lawler. I think Waltman is supposed to be the face still because abusing a woman is always a face move in the book of Russo. Jarrett's HHH-ish attempt to be everything at once doesn't reflect well on him, a WTF scenario indeed. Glad you're enjoying, hope to get the next one out sometime soon!

  5. #5
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    Thanks to everyone for the read and feed. I'm always on the ball with the column but slow with responding to the readers. With that being said I do appreciate everyone who reads and I love going through this hell for your enjoyment. Hopefully the next episode will be better (or worse of you prefer our pain).

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