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  1. #1
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    May 2018

    Mizzie & The Spin's Total Non-Stop Wrestling Project #23- We Are Truly Sorry

    Mizzie & The Spin’s Total Non-Stop Wrestling Project

    MF: Greetings, mizfan fans and Spinnerets! And welcome back to the series that not even Nony wants to see us continue. It’s the all Russo, all the time show, and we’re the stupid idiots who are watching it!

    SM: I think it is at this time that I need to offer a formal apology to our readers, to myself, and to mizfan. By the time this show is over we will have watched some of the worst segments of television ever aired. The worst part is I decided on this idea and Mizzie over there agreed to it. Which I guess means we don't deserve forgiveness. What do you say Mizfan?

    MF: We’re doing this on purpose! We chose this! What the hell is wrong with us?!?

    NWA/TNA #24
    Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
    December 4th, 2002

    Russo Can Beat Up Your World Champion

    Soon To Be World Champion

    MF: We start the show with the “exciting” (I cannot air quote hard enough here) aftermath of last week’s “cliffhanger” (and again) where it looked like Jarrett was about to answer if he would join Russo or oppose him. Swerve! He didn’t answer at all. In awkward silence instead we watch as Ron Killings tries to fight Russo, only for Russo to take him down on the mat. The Harris Twins come out because things could always get worse, and they help Russo leave over the barricade with agonizing slowness.

    SM: So the man who just lost the world title is not strong enough to take on the black hearted pillsbury doughboy? How does this make any sense? By TNA logic Russo is now a better wrestler than half the locker room or more. The only ones who can claim they are better are the ones who never lost to Truth, and never lost to anyone Truth beat. So on second thought, Russo is better than the entire locker room. Long live Russo, king of takedowns.

    Russo Likes Shooty Shoot Shoots

    Probably Explaining How He Could Save Wrestling

    MF: We go to the show proper, and Rowdy Roddy Piper is here, but he declares instead that his name is now Seems legit. He says this is the last place Russo has not killed and says he has no talent. He says Russo will deliberately kill the dreams of the young wrestlers in the back and calls Russo the Bin Laden of professional wrestling. In 2002, he does this. Piper brings up Owen Hart dying and blames Russo. He reveals he’s wearing a shirt with the names of dead wrestlers, who are Art Barr, Rick Rude, Brian Pillman, Rick McGraw, Adrian Adonis, Andre, Owen, Kerry Von Erich, Bruiser Brody, and Junkyard Dog. So many names soon to be added to that list. He ties this into Russo killing professional wrestling. Russo suddenly walks out to the ring and stands in the corner with a weird smug look on his face. Piper asks him if he killed Owen Hart and talks about how he lost 80 million dollars in WCW. Russo calls him a moron and keeps complaining that he wants to hold the microphone, which is his entire contribution to this segment. Piper claims he sent Russo a tape showing him how to fix WCW. The Harris Brothers also walk suddenly to the ring. They start to hold back Vince Russo, who up til now was not trying to approach Piper at all. Piper is still talking but they play his music.

    Ok, so that was fucking weird. Piper is so charismatic and he’s obviously speaking from the heart here, so there’s something compelling at the core of this. You can feel it when you watch it. But it’s also very uncomfortable. Piper is rambling all over the place and I wouldn’t blame you if you thought he was under the influence of something, though with him it’s hard to tell. There’s still a sense that this is “part of the show”, which makes it uncomfortable that he’s invoking Owen Hart dying. Or maybe it’s not part of the show, in which case we are meant to think Russo is a legitimate murderer? How does that help the company exactly? I could speak on about how surreal and ultimately destructive I think this segment is, but we’d be here all day. Suffice to say it could be Exhibit A in why “shoot” interviews have no place in the middle of a wrestling event.

    SM: Ok, so I've spent a lot of time since watching this episode trying to decide what I would be able to say about this segment. One that made me more uncomfortable and outraged than anything that has come before or since. Luckily for me Mizfan did an amazing job at explaining what happened and saved me the anguish of talking too much about it.

    What I do want to say is that this is despicable and disgusting. I just recently lost someone and I can say with confidence that REAL LIFE DEATH IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE WRITTEN INTO STORYLINES. ESPECIALLY NOT IF THE WORD MURDER IS BEING THROWN AROUND. I am disheartened at Piper's role in this and I am saddened that anyone would allow this to be said, or support it being used as a story. Never claim someone killed someone for storyline purposes when the person is actually dead. That's despicable. They should all be ashamed.

    The SATs (Joel & Jose Maximo) vs. Divine Storm (Chris Divine & Quiet Storm, w/Trinity)

    Someone Hide Trinity From Russo

    MF: I’m still reeling from that weird start to the show, but here we at least have a match where nobody involved is objectively terrible. Don West accurately points out that these four guys are, weirdly, exact visual clones of each other. It’s weird. This was a decent match that sees Quiet Storm get the win with an assist from Trinity, and I guess I don’t have much more to say about that.

    SM: Seems I liked this match a bit more than you friend. I thought they played well off each other, and Trinity once again acted as a proper heel manager. I still am looking forward to seeing Divine Storm grow as a team and insert themselves higher up the ranks. With that being said my opinions may be clouded by the earlier bullshit.

    SM Rating: ***¼
    MF Rating: **¾

    Russo Hates Women: The Neverending Segment

    At Least That City Admits It

    MF: Chris Harris comes out for a match, but because the world is cruel Vince Russo comes back to the ring again and kicks Harris out so he can do a promo. Maybe I’ll find something more pleasant to do by sticking a fork in my ear until it comes out the other side.

    Russo says he won’t trash Piper because he would sue him for defamation of character. I’m sure that’s a shoot reference to something stupid but it’s lost on all of us, then and now. Then he accuses Piper of using Owen Hart’s name to sell his book and says Piper will go to hell. I feel gross watching this. Russo swears some more like a 12 year old kid who just learned how, and says the NWA doesn’t care about fans. He says the NWA is a bunch of old men who wet their beds. Russo suddenly yells at Jeremy Borash, who gives him the finger. Russo says people want vulgar language, smut, nudity, and sex. Russo says this is the birth of Sports Entertainment Extreme. Spell it out, he screams! He’s trying to imply the initials are SEX, I assume, because why use one idiotic acronym when you could use two?

    Russo promises to give the crowd Athena. Who the fuck is Athena? She’s someone standing at ringside. I always see lots of signs in the crowd for her but who. The. FUCK IS ATHENA. We will never know, because nobody bothers to explain, but now this lady is the focus of this segment as Russo makes her get in the ring.

    Russo once again talks about tits and ass, and tells Athena to show off her breasts. She doesn’t want to and he screams that she has small tits, unlike Dusty Rhodes(??). He calls her an ugly bitch. Athena slaps her and Russo physically attacks her and screams that she’s a whore. This isn’t fun. They start to fight and Russo knocks her down and grinds on top of her.

    The Harris Bros come out and hold her back from slapping Russo again, which I guess is their job now. Russo promises to beat her up some more. Russo weirdly insults the Harris Brothers for some reason. He gives Ron Harris the mic who says the company is a piece of shit. He knows it, I know it, everyone knows it, yet here we are. CHRIST, THIS SEGMENT WILL NOT END. Ron Harris says now he can’t be fired, god knows why. Russo tells the Harris Brothers to beat up Athena and jesus, they just beat the shit out of her. Like, for a while.

    This might be the worst thing I’ve ever seen in wrestling, Spin. The Dupp Cupp is looking good by comparison.

    SM: I didn't think things could get worse for women in this company. I felt confident that they could only go up from where they were. I hoped that soon they would begin to be treated with respect and given support. I underestimated Russo's hatred for the opposite sex. This was the second disgusting segment on a two hour show. What the hell is the rest of the show going to do when I've already been tempted to shut down everything TWICE! I want someone to go back in time and take out Russo. I will pay. Please.

    MF: Backstage, Bob Armstrong “punishes” the Harris Twins by putting them in the main event, which is actually a punishment for all of us. Armstrong says Russo is a snake and encourages the Harris Twins to kill him. They say this is bullshit, and they’ve never been more right.

    Chris Harris (w/James Storm) vs. Brian Lee (w/James Mitchell, Slash, & Belladonna)

    Things Didn't Work Out Well For Harris

    MF: Honestly hard to go back to focusing on a wrestling match after that putrid, hellish segment. Chris Harris wins a very lackluster match against the usually sucky Brian Lee, and they don’t miss a chance to beat up another woman along the way as Belladonna takes some hits.

    SM: Well that was a match that happened. I took a couple hours after the last segment before watching this. Seemingly that only made it a quarter of a star better than Mizzie's rating, so I guess it sucks either way. Not surprising since Brian Lee shouldn't be wrestling in singles contests, and the theme of this show seems to be beat up the nearest woman.

    SM Rating: *
    MF Rating: ¾*

    MF: Backstage, Ron Killings wants Russo’s ass on a platter. Bob Armstrong tells him to team up with Jarrett to take out the Harris Brothers to get to Russo. Great idea Bob, pair up two enemies to be your unified force against the armies of pure shit.

    James Storm (w/Chris Harris) vs. Slash (w/James Mitchell, Brian Lee, & Belladonna)

    James Storm Fared Better

    MF: Everybody is still in the ring, we go right into the next match. I guess I should mention the stipulation of this match and the last one is that the winners get to be in a bullrope match later tonight with James Mitchell. Not sure what they would have done if both Disciples won, but I guess it doesn’t matter. This match is like 6 minutes long, features a bunch of kickouts of chairs and other weapons, and the finish is AMW doing their finisher together behind the apparently deaf, dumb, and blind referee’s back. And it’s still better than the last one, because at least Slash doesn’t suck. Now James Mitchell has to be in a handicap bullrope match, unless there’s a SWERVE~!

    SM: No better and no worse than the last one for me. Slash is better than Brian Lee, but the overbooking and the dumb referee shit brings it back down to a level field with their counterpart's previous match. This show really needs something to save it from itself. But with the Harris Brothers in the main event and the upcoming Bullrope catastrophe I just don't see it happening.

    SM Rating: *
    MF Rating: *

    MF: We pinball backstage again to see Bob Armstrong talk to Jarrett about wrestling with his dad, and asks him if he’ll give his best against the Harris Bros. Killings yells at him not to screw up. Jarrett calmly kicks some chairs around in a weird moment.

    AJ Styles (w/Mortimer Plumtree) vs. Kid Kash vs. Joel Maximo vs. EZ Money, Double Elimination

    Delusions Without Consequences

    MF: Amazing Red is supposed to be in this match, which would have been awesome, but AJ Styles beats him up and hits the Styles Clash on the ramp. He is replaced by Joel Maximo, which is a major downgrade. Where was Tony Mamaluke? This is the same rules as the first X Division title match, basically a gauntlet where everyone gets a chance to wrestle twice. This doesn’t seem to flow nearly as well as the first one though. And I don’t know what it is exactly, but Styles is so much worse when paired with Plumtree. They have a weird anti-chemistry. Towards the end of the match Kash is eliminated (doubly?) and we get a pairing of Maximo vs. Styles, and that part of the match seems to last foreeeeever and I just can’t even begin to invest in Joel Maximo as a singles guy. Haha, what in the actual flying fuck, as I say that Maximo eliminates AJ Styles. What a stupid company, even the X Division sucks tonight. Styles distracts the referee then throws a chair into the back of Maximo’s head, giving Money the win with a cool piledriver thing. In fairness there were some fun moments, but by X Division standards that was iffy and poorly booked.

    SM: I dont think it was a bad match by any means but it is definitely a step down from the regular shows this division puts on. Red easily would have pushed this one into four stars or more for me. The Maximo stuff didn't make much sense to me, since they haven't built either of them up as singles stars. I can say that the right person won since they have spent a good bit of time trying to build EZ Money up to title level. AJ might be weird with Plumtree but if I were you I would hope he stays with him, because it could be worse. He could join SEX which is the hanging dark cloud of suckitude.

    SM Rating: ***¾
    MF Rating: ***¼

    You Can Never Have Enough Harris Twins (Apparently)

    Harris Brothers Emerging From The Woods

    MF: Ok, a bunch of random stuff. First we have Goldi, who is barely on this episode it seems, talking to Sonny Siaki backstage and wishing him luck in an X Division title match next week. Siaki acts like a jerk and Goldi makes fun of him, because she’s the best and hopefully we’re just forgetting that stupid evil lesbian tease. With Russo at the helm I have no hope of that though. Then Mike Tenay is going to talk to Jerry Lynn up on the stage, but then the Harris Brothers come in from out of the crowd and beat up NWA guy Bill Behrens, or however you spell it, because I guess he still exists. Jerry Lynn goes down to the ring and gets instantly thrown through a table for his trouble, nice job champ. Ron Killings comes down and brawls with both twins, but he gets thrown through a table as well before long. When in doubt, do another Harris Twins segment, I guess.

    SM: Can someone please explain the purpose of this segment to me. I've watched it multiple times now and I cannot figure out why the Harris Brothers feel the need to show up, and why two of our top superstars are so easily dispatched by them. I guess Ron and Don are super humans and they can survive and triumph over all. Too bad no one can survive SEX. It will kill us all.

    MF: Backstage again, Bob Armstrong is asking Road Dogg to team up with Jeff Jarrett since Killings got beat up. Dogg agrees because it’s his dad asking him.

    America’s Most Wanted (Chris Harris & James Storm) vs. Belladonna (w/James Mitchell, Slash, & Brian Lee), Bullrope Match

    She Deserves Better

    MF: Yeah, you read that right. James Mitchell bows out of the match, claiming he has double pneumonia. He’s putting Belladonna in the match instead, so good to know Russo will get another dose of woman beating tonight. Harris and Storm push Belladonna around and then go after Mitchell, but Slash and Brian Lee come out and beat them up. I mean, it is no DQ, so I don’t know what Mitchell was worried about anyway. Mithcell says he’s feeling better and comes in the ring to beat up Harris and Storm now that they’re already beaten down. Harris and Storm recover in time to beat the shit out of Belladonna, so glad we circled back around to the real reason TNA exists. They beat her up for several minutes and win as Russo strokes himself backstage.

    SM: For half a second I has happy in this match. I was happy that AMW tried to go after Mitchell instead of just beating up Belladonna. However, they exist in TNA and the urge to beat a woman runs rampant through their blood. So by the end of the match they have decided to spend a prolonged period of time beating Belladonna and proving their superiority. That is now three disgusting segments in one show. Well this just keeps getting better doesn't it?

    SM Rating: I Fully Support The Following Rating
    MF Rating: See A God Damned Therapist Russo

    A Different Kind Of Depressing

    Miss You Perfect

    MF: Mike Tenay is once again sitting down with Curt Hennig, who isn’t looking too good. Hennig criticizes Russo for giving championships to actors and to himself, in case you forgot that wrestling is fake. Hennig will wrestle Jarrett for the title next week. Hennig talks again about his supposed takedown on Brock Lesnar on the plane ride from hell, claims he’s in the best shape of his life, and says he’s 35 years old. He’s 44 and I honestly don’t know if he was trying to do a bit or what. I don’t like to be overly grim but he’s a few months away from dying and it’s hard to forget that when he looks so rough.

    SM: Every segment with Curt in it is downright depressing during this period. He is my favorite wrestler from his era and seeing him in this shape, knowing what it to come, is rough. I also currently fear that they will use his death after he is gone, especially if Russo is still in control of the company.

    Ron Killings & Jeff Jarrett vs. The Harris Twins (Don & Ron Harris)

    The Brothers Find More Of Their Kind

    MF: Road Dogg is found lying under some chairs backstage, and Bob Armstrong curses the Harris Twins. Jarrett has to go it alone at first. I still don’t find Jarrett very compelling, but that’s the least of our problems at this point. Jarrett makes his comeback and doesn’t seem to need any help, but Ron Killings limps down anyway, probably to betray him. HAHAHA, Jarrett hits a poor looking Stroke and wins while the other Harris brother stands a foot away and tries to act like he doesn’t notice the pin. I’ll give Jarrett a smidgen of credit for playing a better underdog than I expected, but mostly this was as bad as you’d expect. Surprisingly, nobody was betrayed. Yet...

    SM: Thank you Jarrett for allowing me to see a small, very small, amount of good in this match. Even with him trying his best he could not overcome the horrendous non-abilities of DOA. Also, that ending was laughable and shows just how dumb the Harris' truly are.

    SM Rating: *
    MF Rating: ½*


    Damn! Russo Is Packaging This Stuff Now!

    MF: After the match, Killings says he wants some ass from Russo. The Harris Twins beat Killings up again and I guess Jarrett just fucked off, nice job champ. Russo comes out again, because of course he does. Road Dogg runs down to help Killings and HAHAHAHA, I was very close! It was Road Dogg who turned for no reason! I should have known, my Russo radar must be overloading. Of course Russo wouldn’t be able to resist another father vs. son storyline after the rousing success of David Flair vs. Ric Flair. Just to complete this ridiculous what the fuck situation, Paul Bearer suddenly appears and stands on the stage. He does absolutely nothing and the show ends. What the fuck did I just watch?

    SM: Well this bullshit keeps on piling up. Road Dogg, the person who has consistently been fighting for the "faces" of the company suddenly decides that he needs to turn on his father and join SEX. Ok sure. Then we get the appearance of Paul Bearer in another "cliffhanger". What does he want? Whose side is he on? Do I fucking care? NO!! Don't say the name of people in previous bad storylines man. Haven't I told you that he can hear us and he will go back to that well again.

    MF: Well Spin, this might be the worst wrestling show I’ve ever seen. The best match was barely good, and the worst parts were so catastrophically bad that I felt an overwhelming shame for being a wrestling fan. All I can do is thank God I didn’t pay a cent for these shows.

    SM: If someone walked into a room when I was watching this I would be embarrassed to be a human, not just a wrestling fan. The fact that there are people who wrote this, and people who enjoyed it, is a stain on humanity.

    MF: I wish I could say it’s been fun, but it hasn’t! At least we can continue to compile crimes for the eventual trial of Russo for his crimes against wrestling and humanity. Until the next exhibit, say goodbye Spinny!

    SM: Goodbye everyone. Until next time, keep spinning through life and remember that I am truly sorry for this bullshit existing.

  2. #2
    HUGE Member TheLAW's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Fun EZ Money Facts!

    Only wrestler to wrestler on both the ECW amd WCW final shows.

    He was the last contract WCW ever signed.

    He was contracted for every major wrestling company (ECW, WCW, NWA-TNA, and WWF) from April 2001when ECW Closed and he immediately signed with WCW to July 2002 when he was released from WWE and immediately signed with TNA. What a fuckin journeyman!

    Just stole this from wiki for an extra: On September 26, 2015 EZ Money lost against Ethan Carter III in a match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. The match took place in a Pro Wrestling South card at the Sullivan South High School in Tennessee.

    Take a bow Jason Jett / EZ Money!

    On another note. Someone castrate Russo. This was hard to READ. Must have been way worse to watch that garbage.
    Last edited by TheLAW; 11-12-2019 at 09:28 PM.

  3. #3
    Lamb of LOP anonymous's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    186 miles from Sheepster
    I agree with LAW on it not being easy to read. It wasn’t pleasant. But it highlights how unpleasant TNA was back then. Plenty of things I watched as a teenager there that I was probably uncomfortable with back then and you’ve restored memories of. It actually hurts just thinking about it!

  4. #4
    The Brain
    Join Date
    May 2018
    How did I not pick up on the fact that it sounds funny that Russo is trying to get everyone to join him in SEX? My sense of humor was broken by this episode. Great job putting this together as always, Spinny.

    Man, I wish EZ Money had stuck around somewhere. Hopefully he'll be in TNA for a while, I enjoy the guy. I would honestly like to see that EC3 vs. EZ match. It was indeed awful to watch this show, thanks for the sympathy Law-man!

    There's a lot of stupid shit that I can at least understand someone else enjoying, like Jeff Jarrett (kidding! sort of! ). But man, the worst of this stuff is just beyond the pale, especially in retrospect. Thanks for reading Nony, I think Russo is actually not in the building next week so maybe we can restore an small order of positivity!

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    The fuck? Russo took down the former TNA Champion? Talk about shitting all over a wrestler. I guess Killings was right about the consporacy against him. Is Russo supposed to be this tough guy now? The way Piper went to town on him it certainly appears like Russo is gearing up to be the number one heel on the roster. Clearly he is trying to use his negative reputation to generate interest in the show but he is going about it the wrong way. It's almost as if he wants to live up to his reputation and run TNA into the ground. That second Russo segment was disgusting. What in the actual fuck was going through his mind when he wrote that. It's insane. I do not accept your apology. Even reading this I was cringing.

  6. #6
    The Brain
    Join Date
    May 2018
    If you were cringing reading it, just think how we felt watching it! We're in some dark times, bud, but it helps that others are sharing our misery. The sad thing is you can almost, maybe, just barely see what Russo was trying to do, harness the fact that he's very unlikable into money drawing heat, but the execution fails on every possible level.

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