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  1. #1
    Mediocrity at it's finest kingzak13's Avatar
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    Kingzak Presents: PPV-Star of the Decade part 2


    Rise of the Jobbers


    What’s up guys, Kingzak is back in action with part two of the PPV-Star of the Decade. How was Christmas for you guys? Mine was alright, kinda standard sort of mid-20s Christmas where fuck all happens but you still enjoy it anyway. Done a lot of writing the last few days, more than I thought I would be, but it’s still fun. So we are back to the PPV-Star of the Decade today, last time we covered a bunch of jobbers and one time wrestlers, this time I am hoping for more towards the jobber side than the one time, but don’t hold your breath. So without further ado, let’s take a look at which wrestlers really failed to make an impact.

    Part 1




    #279
    Snooki
    WrestleMania 27: with Trish Stratus and John Morrison beat LayCool and Dolph Ziggler 0.75 Stars
    Total Stars: 0.75 Stars
    Win-Loss 1-0 (+0.05)
    Final Score = 0.81 Stars


    Just your bi-annual reminder that this vapid talentless TV personality has more WrestleMania wins than Umaga, William Regal, Bray Wyatt, Jimmy Snuka, Sasha Banks, The Dudley Boyz and Goldust.


    #278
    Maria Menounos
    WrestleMania 28: with Kelly Kelly beat Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres 0.75 Stars
    Total Stars: 0.75 Stars
    Win-Loss 1-0 (+0.05)
    Final Score = 0.81 Stars


    Just your bi-annual reminder that this vapid talentless TV personality has more WrestleMania wins than Umaga, William Regal, Bray Wyatt, Jimmy Snuka, Sasha Banks, The Dudley Boyz and Goldust.

    This match was longer than the other. Woopty fucking doo


    #277
    Rosa Mendez
    #276
    Aksana
    TLC 2012: Lost Santa’s Little Helper Battle Royal 0.5 Stars
    Survivor Series 2013: Team Women’s Wrestlers vs Team Total Divas 0.5 Stars
    WrestleMania 30: Lost to AJ Lee in the divas championship clusterfuck 1.25 Stars
    Total Stars: 2.25 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-3 (-0.075)
    Years wrestled in: 3 (+0.03)
    Final Score = 0.705 Stars


    In the interest of both mine and your enjoyment of this column, I’ve condensed these two into one spot because there is really no difference. The only difference is that Aksana lasted longer in both the Battle Royal and Survivor Series match, thus getting her the higher spot. There isn’t much to say on this really, they appeared in the clusterfucks of the diva era. Somehow both were on team Women’s wrestlers at Survivor Series (no wonder the team lost) and made little to no impact in actual wrestling.


    Not very Fun Fact: On the stat table I made, I have the superstar in order of when they were first on PPV. Thanks to this, 2012 is fucking abysmal, it is all the 2012 superstars from the last part, these two and Cameron. Four jobbers, two non-wrestlers, three of the worst womens wrestlers ever, also the Brooklyn Brawler. Thankfully 2012 also gave us the Shield otherwise it would be a complete shit show section.


    #275
    Ricardo Rodriguez
    The 2012 Royal Rumble: 2.5 Stars
    No Way Out 2012: Lost to Santino Marella -0.5 Stars
    Total Stars: 2 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-2 (-0.05)
    Final Score = 0.96 Stars


    Yes more matches that go into the minus. They are rare but common this end the list. Rodriguez had a decent comedic spot in the 2012 rumble, coming down to the ring as budget Alberto Del Rio, he didn’t last long but as far as rumble comedy goes, this was pretty solid. Later that year he would compete against Santino in a tuxedo match on the No Way Out pre-show, proving once and for all any match where the objective is get naked is a trash match.

    The one thing Rodriguez can hold his head high about is that thanks to the one hit wonders ruling on the yearly lists, he wrestled a better 2012 than all three members of the Shield on the original list.


    #274
    Cameron
    TLC 2012: Lost Santa’s Little Helper Battle Royal 0.5 Stars
    Survivor Series 2013: Team Women’s Wrestlers vs Team Total Divas 0.5 Stars
    Elimination Chamber 2014: Beat AJ Lee (DQ) 0 Stars
    WrestleMania 30: Lost to AJ Lee in the divas championship clusterfuck 1.25 Stars
    BattleGround 2014: Beat Naomi -0.25 Stars
    Survivor Series 2014: with Paige, Layla and Summer Rae Lost to Team Natalya 1 Star
    Total Stars: 3 Stars
    Win-Loss: 3-3 (+0.075)
    Years wrestled in: 3 (+0.03)
    Final Score: 0.605 stars


    Could anyone else have so many matches and be this far down the list. When people talk about the worst wrestler of the decade, this has to be the first place their thoughts go, not the part timers, not the non-wrestlers, not the wrestlers who were only there a shot while, the thoughts for worst wrestler should immediately go to the woman that three years into her career, and didn’t know which way round to pin someone.

    For a real reference of how poor a wrestler she is. 108% of her star total was earnt in multi person matches that very barely featured her. Her actual attempts at wrestling lost her points. Her singles matches totalled at a loss, no one else can actually say that (except for Lars Sullivan, but I have faith that he can balance that out in 2020). Not a lot else to say other than thank fuck she’s gone.


    #273, #272 and 271
    Kavita Devi
    Taynara Conti
    Dakota Kai
    WrestleMania 34: lost the Woman’s battle Royal 1.25 Stars
    Total Stars: 1.25 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-1 (-0.025)
    Final Score = 1.235 Stars


    I don’t know what I can really say for this one. the three women took part in the WM34 Women’s battle royal, joined by Bianca Belair and Kairi Sane as a group to represent NXT, there was a brief moment where the group held the ring, but it would be short lived as they were all gone before the half way mark. The three are ranked in order of elimination according to Wikipedia. Since then the three haven’t really been up to much, Dakota is definitely changing that but Taynara and Kavita are still sparcely used. Hopefully they’ll rank better in the 2020’s since there is plenty of time left on their careers.


    #270
    Jost and Che
    WrestleMania 35: Lost the Andre Battle Royal 1.25 Stars
    Total Stars: 1.25 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-1 (-0.025)
    Final Score = 1.235 Stars


    I refuse to give these two a different spot, they are no different than Snooki or Menounous, the only difference is they are a package deal. The two only got this far by hiding away for the entire match, which basically gave them the whole match as time to their score. I am actually a little annoyed by this one since they beat actual wrestlers that realistically could be higher if they had joined the main roster.


    #269
    Nicholas
    WrestleMania 34: With Braun Strowman beat Cesaro and Sheamus 1.25 Stars
    Total Stars: 1.25 Stars
    Win-Loss: 1-0 (+0.05)
    Final Score = 1.31 Stars


    I am pretty sure I said this at the time, but if Nicholas ends up becoming a pro wrestler then this is some fantastic foresight from the WWE, it would be so easy to bring him in as some cocky prick because he is the youngest champ ever. If not then this was just a wasted opportunity. Not a lot else to say on this one, though I do like that we got two Braun Strowman matches back to back on the list. Kinda funny how things turn out sometimes.


    #268
    Summer Rae
    Hell in a Cell 2013: With Fandango beat Great Khali and Natalya 0.5 Stars
    Survivor Series 2013: Team Women’s wrestler’s vs Team Divas 0.5 Stars
    WrestleMania 30: Lost to AJ Lee in the divas championship clusterfuck 1.25 Stars
    BattleGround 2014: Lost to Layla 0 Stars
    Survivor Series 2014: with Paige, Layla and Cameron lost to Team Natalya 1 Star
    WrestleMania 32: Team Blonde and Bad vs Team Total Divas 1.5 Stars
    Total Stars: 4.75 Stars
    Win-Loss: 1-5 (-0.075)
    Years wrestled in: 3 (+0.03)
    Final Score = 0.74666666 Stars


    How the hell did we get a women’s revolution when four of the worst wrestlers of the decade were a part of the division? This is our forth diva on the list, fifth if we include Jojo from last part. What about that collection of talent says “they deserve more time”? Admittedly of that group listd so far, Summer Rae does have the most historical relevance thanks to her former stable with Charlotte and Sasha Banks.

    Rae made her main roster debut as Fandango’s manager/dance partner, and I think she ended up feuding with Natalya (I think due to Total Divas reasons) and this led to a match between Summer and Fandango against Natalya and not her husband The Great Khali. Then sometime after WrestleMania Fandango and Summer split up for reason I don’t care about, and Fandango ended up partnering with Layla instead, while Summer briefly teamed with Dolph. Fandango vs Dolph sounds like an infinitely better match, and that is something I never expected to say about a Fandango match.

    Aside from those two matches, Summer just popped in for the various clusterfucks that the divas division frequently had. She disappeared in mid-2015 until Feb 2016 where she beat Paige which I find incredibly offensive. She didn’t get up to much the rest of 2016 and her final TV matches would be losses to Becky Lynch.


    #267
    Michael Cole
    WrestleMania 27: draw vs Jerry Lawler 1 Star
    Extreme Rules 2011: with Jack Swagger beat Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross 0.5 Stars
    Over the Limit 2011: Lost to Jerry Lawler 0.5 Stars
    The Royal Rumble 2012: Believe it or not, he didn’t win (2.25 Stars)
    Total Stars: 4.25 Stars
    Win-Loss: 1-1-2 (0)
    Years wrestled in: 2 (+0.02)
    Final Score = 1.0825 Stars


    Well let’s look at the good news, we have reached the point in the list where everyone on will have a score of 1 or above. The bad news is now I have to talk about Michael Cole as a wrestler. As a commentator, I feel he gets a bad rap due in part to the overly scripted nature of modern WWE. However it is also possible that it is left over resentment from his time as a heel and feud with Jerry Lawler and if that is the reason you dislike him then fair enough.

    There isn’t much I can say about the feud between Cole and Lawler that you won’t have already thought of when you un-repress the memories of those dark days. Those of you that have a clearer memory of the time may remember that Lawler/Cole at WM did in fact have a winner, however it came from the GM overruling the referee with blatant heel bullshit, so instead of giving either the win, they drew. The feud unfortunately continued with both men getting a PPV win.

    Also the entire commentary team were a part of the 2012 Royal Rumble. That is a pretty fucking weak roster, like seriously I’m looking at the list and the only seven of the people from the 2012 rumble were remotely relevant at the time. As a match it is mostly survived on comedy spots and The Miz and Cody Rhodes efforts. I can’t think of anything else to really say on this one, so let’s put this to rest and move on to the next shall we.


    #266
    Vickie Guerrero
    WrestleMania 26: with Layla, Michelle McCool, Alicia Fox and Maryse beat Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres 0 Stars
    Royal Rumble 2018: Women’s Rumble 2.5 Stars
    Total Stars: 2.5 Stars
    Win-Loss 1-1 (+0.025)
    Years wrestled in: 2 (+0.02)
    Final Score = 1.295 Stars


    So we move from one non-wrestling heel to another. Vickie was annoying much like Cole, but the sort of annoying that works, Vickie was incredibly prominent for the first half of the decade. Managing Layla and Michelle in 2010 (and teaming with them for her first match), then allying herself with Dolph Ziggler before finally heading back to a GM role in 2013/14 and then heading off into the sunset.

    She would pop back a couple times the rest of the decade, and that would end up with her second match of the decade, in the first Women’s Royal Rumble, given her prominence from the prior decade it makes sense for her to pop up for such a big occasion. She didn’t last long in the match but it gave her a huge boost in star score, and ultimately is what got her this high.




    Ok, we are a total of 27 superstars in, that is almost one tenth of the list done. But there is a lot more to go, and things can only go up … I hope. But for now it is time I bid you all a fond farewell, and also time I bid farewell to the year and the decade too. It’s been fun 2010’s but I’m optimistic for the 2020’s, things can’t get worse … again I hope. And I hope you have enjoyed today’s column and I will see you next decade.

    One to Watch: Wow there is nothing but trash here. Let’s just go with the Women’s Rumble, that’s the least offensive match from the list.
    Last edited by kingzak13; 12-31-2019 at 07:41 AM.

  2. #2
    The Brain
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    Ha, you're really down in the dregs here! Though some of these might have some upside, none of those were used in a way where you'd ever know it.

  3. #3
    LOP's mid carder for life DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    (except for Lars Sullivan, but I have faith that he can balance that out in 2020)
    Do you still think this?

    He may well do OK in singles competition though, I hear he likes a bit of 1-on-1 action.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Alot of very weak Womens wrestlers and tv personalities this week around. Well, you have to get through the shit to get to the gold. You have an arduous journey ahead of you but I'll be along for the ride.

  5. #5
    Mediocrity at it's finest kingzak13's Avatar
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    Feedback time

    @Mizfan: And there is still plenty of dregs to go. As far as upside goes, the last three were alright as long as they stayed away from the ring. and the NXT ladies are hopefully going to make more an impact for the 2020s.


    @Dynamite:
    Honestly I think there is still hope for Sullivan, he definitely ain't getting a big push but he'll be around for Battle Royals and Rumbles so he's bound to get more points. Plus he accidentally gave a more complex character than WWE would ever have, a homophobe with a gay past, that is the most unique character WWE have had all year.


    @Don: Glad to hear, I reckon we've got another part or two before we get to someone who made real contributions to the decade if I had to guess.


    Thanks to everyone for reading, hope you've enjoyed the column

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