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    The Brain
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    The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: The Brain's Finest Hour (Jan '92)

    Greetings mizfan fans, and Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas while weíre at it! In case you missed it, I had to give myself a sad Christmas present this year and let go of the idea of doing MOTY dailies as Iíve done for the past few years. Itís just one thing too many this year and I canít swing it. But once I accepted that, I realized that would give me just enough time to put out a column Iíve been looking forward to posting since the moment this series premiered! Thatís right, we are at last up to 1992, and that means ROYAL RUMBLE TIME!

    January í92, WWF
    Ongoing Heenan Storylines


    The Brainís Finest Hour

    Of course, before we get to the Rumble itself everyone has got to have their say on whatís going to happen on the big day.

    BH: I donít know if anybody wants the title more than the Undertaker, except Ric Flair.

    GM: And you. You want it worse than anyone!

    BH: Ok, yes! I want it worse than anyone!!
    For example, Sid Justice tells the fans that heís good friends with Hogan and Savage and would be proud to stand beside them in the match. Compare and contrast to Hogan, who carries over his 1991 insanity by claiming the children of Hulkamania have given him permission to go out and try to injure people in the Rumble. So glad he checked with the children first, right? He promises to beat up the whole WWF to get the title. Letís remember these attitudes carefully when we get the Rumble, shall we? And of course, Heenan and Flairís campaign for the title continues as they look for every possible advantage.

    GM: Can Mr Perfect be at ringside? Heís not a manager!

    BH: Executive consultants can be there, I saw it in the rules! You know, thereís a whole chapter in there about being fair to Flair.

    GM: Oh?

    BH: I wrote it.
    The freshly reinstated Randy Savage is also keen to his hands on the title again, though he has to split his attention with Jake and with protecting Elizabeth. But everyone has Rumble fever!

    GM: Macho Man, celebrating with Miss Elizabeth!

    BH: Heís gonna throw her over the top rope!

    GM: He is not!

    BH: Well, I would.
    And just to throw another huge name into the mix, Roddy Piper is looking for a chance to be champion as well!

    GM: I canít believe youíre even entertaining the idea that Piper could win the title.

    BH: Well Iím trying to think like a humanoid, and I canít do it. Of course Ric Flair is going to win!
    Meanwhile, Prime Time continues with the roundtable format and there is a lot of cross talk about who will win the Rumble. One particularly memorable episode features Vince, Monsoon, babyface Slick, Perfect, and Heenan. Perfect says he is not in the Rumble because his contract doesnít allow him to wrestle against Flair.

    Perfect: Bobby, did you and Flair look over my contract before I signed it?

    GM: Of course!

    BH: Donít you answer for me!!
    Vince tries to stir Perfect up against Heenan by pointing out he could be costing him his best chance to be champion! Perfect actually seems upset, and Heenan pulls him aside to try to explain heíll make more money this way. Perfect still seems upset. Heenan is frantic to keep Flairís camp together. The babyfaces keep needling Perfect and he gets more and more angry, and Heenan actually breaks down in tears!!!

    Vince: Well Mr Perfect, you can still play the Hulk Hogan phone challengeÖ unless your contract precludes you from that too?

    BH: Will you knock it off!!

    GM: Youíll never win anything else, the Weasel saw to that!

    BH: I didnít see to anything!!
    At the end, Perfect reunites with Heenan and says if thereís a problem, heíll handle it privately. Heenan is incredibly relieved. But everyone gangs up on Heenan again to end the episode!!


    Bullying the Brain

    We finally get to the night itself, and as you might expect there are a lot of pre-match promos. Hogan once again stands out as he complains about being betrayed by his ďso called friendsĒ and craps all over Jack Tunney in the process. What a hero, right?? And itís time for the match!

    Royal Rumble Match 1/19/92 WWF Royal Rumble

    BH: The Rumble is just like any other day, you go along and try to give the other guy the shaft!

    GM: Nobody wants to know your lifestyle.
    Ted and Bulldog start off this one off, but this year Bulldog makes short work of DiBiase, poor guy! Heenan is distraught beyond words when Flair is #3.

    BH: Flair shouldnít even be in the Rumble. The winner should meet him later today to decide the champion. That would be fair to Flair.

    GM: Donít you start with that!
    Heenan spends the whole match just yelling advice to Flair and being caught up in everything that happens to him, good and bad.

    BH: I have to apologize to the people. I donít think I can be objective in this match.

    GM: When have you EVER been objective??
    For the energy Heenan expends on this match youíd think heís the one in the ring. Heís got no time for anything but Flair!

    GM: Bushwhacker Luke has the record for the shortest time in the Rumble-

    BH: Who cares about Bushwhackers? How long has Flair been in?!?
    Itís one of my favorite performances in wrestling history and matches up perfectly with Flairís legendary effort.

    BH: Where is Mr Perfect? He needs to be here helping Flair!

    GM: Managers arenít allowed at ringside!

    BH: But heís an executive consultant!

    GM: Same thing, a pest!
    We get a bit of a prophetic moment between Shawn Michaels and Flair at one point, but itís when Piper enters that it really goes to the next level. Heenan is almost crying about the way Piper is taking the fight to Flair. Jake comes in next but just sits in the corner watching them fight for a while before betraying Piper, which comes off beautifully and is a mark of the great psychology Jake is famous for.

    BH: Jake saved Flair from Piper! Thank you, Jake!

    GM: Now heís going after Flair!

    BH: You canít trust a snake, I always said that!
    Heenan ping pongs wildly back and forth between loving and hating everyone, depending on whether theyíre helping or hurting Flair.

    GM: And now Piper, saving Flair from Jake the Snake!

    BH: I never thought I'd say this, but thank you Piper. It's a kilt. It's not a skirt, it's a kilt.

    GM: Now heís going after both of them!

    BH: You no good, skirt wearing freak!!
    Savage charges the ring soon after, looking for revenge on Jake for the torture heís put him through, but Jake hides until Savage has been beaten up by everyone else in the match. But Savage gets his hands on Jake after all, and thatís it for the snake!!

    BH: I donít think Flair can take much more, Monsoon.

    GM: I know YOU canít take much more, Brain!
    At the end itís Savage, Sid, Hogan, and Flair, which is a hell of a final four in terms of big names.

    BH: Flair, weasel your way out! I never thought Iíd say that but weasel your way out if you have to!

    GM: Weasel your way out??

    BH: Do anything!! Itís the final hour!
    Savage goes out first of the bunch, and then we soon get the famous moment of Sid throwing out Hogan (which actually gets a mixed reaction from the crowd, the biggest sign yet that fans are getting tired of Hoganís act at last).

    BH: Iím sorry for everything Iíve done! Iím sorry for everything Iíve said! Please! Please let Flair win it!

    GM: Stop begging!

    BH: Iíll never say or do anything bad again! Please!
    Hogan throws a tantrum at ringside and grabs Sidís arm. I probably donít have to belabor this point but seriously, Sid has been nothing but Hoganís friend from the start and eliminated him clean as a whistle, and thereís really no way to excuse Hoganís behavior here. While Hogan holds Sid in place, Flair jumps in and tosses the big man out! Flair did it, he gets the win!! Hogan chases the Nature Boy out of the ring after the match, but he canít change the result! Heenan is so excited he jumps off commentary. Sid and Hogan throw a fit at each other after the match.

    Spoiled babyfaces aside, I donít think I can stress enough how much I love this match. I hit some of the big notes but everything about this match, from the huge collection of great talent to all the interweaving storylines, is so very much what I want from wrestling. Everyone had a character, everyone was over (though some, like Hogan, not the way they were meant to be), and the performances couldnít have been more dedicated. In the end it boils down to the amazing dual 60 minute performances of Flair and Heenan, who lived and died 100 times trying to make it through this match. Itís a classic and very possibly my favorite match in all of wrestling history, and if youíve never seen it I hope you give it a look.

    Awesomeness Rating: *****

    After the match we go backstage with Okerlund, who is with Jack Tunney and also Flair, Perfect, and Heenan. Heenan looks so legitimately happy. Itís one of my favorite promos ever, particularly Flairís bit.

    Flair: Let me just say, after video distorting the belt that proclaimed me the real worldís champion, I'm going to tell you all. With a tear in my eye, this is the greatest moment in my life. When you walk around this world, and you tell everybody that youíre number one, the only way that you get to stay number one is to be number one. And this is the only title in the wrestling world that makes you number one. When you are the king of the WWF, you rule the world. Think about it like that. Mr. Perfect! The Brain! Wooooo! WOOOOO!!!

    BH: You did it. I was never so impressed with anything I've ever seen in all my life. He went out there for over 60 minutes. Never took a backstep. Took it to Hogan. Took it to the Undertaker. Took it to whoever got in that ring. That's why we're calling him the real World's Heavyweight Champion.

    Perfect: Hey, we're not the guys to say we told you so. But we told you so. Haha!

    Okerlund: Okay, very good. Ric Flair you - put that cigarette out - you have made World Wrestling Federation history tonight.

    Flair: It's the greatest moment of my life. I want to jump. I want to party. But, I've got to tell you like this. For the Hulk Hogans, and the Macho Mans, and the Pipers, and the Sids, now itís Ric Flair. And you all pay homage to the man! WOOOOO!!!! Hahaha! I love it! I love it! I love it!

    WITH A TEAR IN MY EYE!

    Weíve got plenty of fallout as well! On Wrestling Challenge, Heenan is over the moon about Flair being champion. He annoys Monsoon so much that he walks away during the intro, and Heenan doesnít know what to do!

    BH: Arenít you excited about our new world champion?

    GM: Doesnít put an extra dime in my pocket!

    BH: All you think about is yourself.

    GM: And all you think about his how much Flair is gonna pay you!

    BH: Well, I do think of myself on occasion, itís true.
    The win is big news on Prime Time as well. The next development that drops is news that Tunney is considering five contenders to challenge Flair at Wrestlemania. Hogan, Savage, Sid, Piper, and Undertaker are all in contention, and YOU can call the hotline to vote on who should go on to the biggest event of the year.

    GM: Hulk Hogan thinks a lot of Sid Justice.

    BH: Oh yeah, theyíre real back slapping buddies.

    GM: Whatís wrong with that?

    BH: It makes me sick.
    Heenan and Perfect say they want to vote for Hogan!! So Flair can beat him, presumably, but still Iím very surprised.

    Slick prefers Piper, and Monsoon was impressed by Sid but leans towards Hogan.

    GM: Sid really showed me something at the Rumble, but how can you deny Hogan a chance to be a 5 time champion?

    BH: Because heís already had it four times!
    Vince unexpectedly votes for Undertaker! Heenan starts calling the hotline over and over so he can vote in different voices, in classic Weasel fashion.

    Vince: And you can call the hotline to vote for your favorite contender!

    BH: And if I wanted to call in and change my voice 800 times, all 800 votes would count?

    We canít all be perfect

    GM: You know, the world championship can bring a lot of misery if youíre not ready for the challengers.

    BH: I havenít been miserable yet!

    GM: You will be.
    As we end the month, Flair is the undisputed champion of the WWF and the #1 contender is undecided, but weíre going to find out a lot more in the month to come. But Flair is champion! Woooo!

    BH: You know, when youíre champion, when youíre riding in the limo, you can tell the driver to put up the little window and you can throw peanuts at him.

    Elsewhere in the WWFÖ

    Through The Window Glass

    The slow breakup of the Rockers continues, as we see a clip from Superstars where Shawn costs the Rockers a match against LOD due to some bad timing. Shawn and Marty have words after the match. Marty tries to hug Shawn but he shoves him away and seems frustrated. Marty gets mad and almost punches him. Can they get their act back together?

    If you didnít know the answer to that, youíll know it soon because the next time we see them, theyíre going to talk it out in Brutus Beefcakeís crappy interview segment, The Barbershop! Shawn speaks first and says they are still tight with each other, but also calls himself the captain and says he put everything together. Jannetty admits there IS friction, and claims thereís no captain. He talks about Shawn missing out on opportunities in the ring because heís busy flirting. Shawn canít help it if the ladies like him! Shawn points out Jannetty has cost them matches too and made mistakes. Jannetty says heís made mistakes but he wants to stay together and go to the top as a team. Jannetty turns his back and says Shawn should leave or stay and shake his hand. Shawn shakes his hand butÖ

    BH: See, one Rocker isnít any good without the other. They need each other. [Shawn kicks Jannetty!] OH, I knew he was gonna do that!!
    And the rest is history!

    GM: Jannetty, right through the window!

    BH: Jannetty tried to dive through the window to escape! What an act of cowardice!
    Shawn Michaels vs. Jimmy Snuka 1/31/92 WWF MSG

    GM: For upper body strength, the advantage goes to Jimmy Snuka.

    BH: But for brains, itís Michaels. I know hubcaps that are smarter than Snuka.
    Michaels jumps right into his new role as a midcard heel, first focusing on his most natural talent, which is to go into bump overdrive and bounce around the ring for anything that breathes on him. Heís the first example I was able to find of his full blown singles act, and unfortunately itís against the past his prime, not very good in the first place Snuka. HBK does as much as possible to carry Snuka, but he can only get so far. Still, you can see heís starting to work out his new character and making quick strides on the performer he would become. He wins with Sweet Chin Music followed up by a Teardrop Suplex, since apparently they originally thought the kick wasnít good enough by itself.

    BH: If you put the face of every woman who loved Shawn Michaels on the back of his jacketÖ there isnít a jacket big enough.

    GM: What a profound statement that was.

    BH: Thank you.
    Awesomeness Rating: **Ĺ


    The Scales of Justice and Revenge

    Randy Savage (w/Miss Elizabeth) vs. Jake Roberts 1/31/92 WWF MSG

    Savage and Jake were both too focused on each other to win the Rumble, which is pretty understandable if you remember everything theyíve done to each other at this point. Their feud is still white hot so it only makes sense that this match starts with a wild brawl that the ref canít keep control of! Jake slows the Macho Man down with the poke in the eyes and quickly goes back to stalking Liz, but Savage explodes on him all over again! Savage hits him in the gut with a chair! But Jake catches him coming off the top rope and gets the advantage again. Um, Monsoon says Jake literally raped ElizabethÖ of her dignity. NO, Monsoon. No. Great spot where Savage is trying to get up and get at Jake, and Jake keeps kicking him down. But Savage rallies and goes on a tear against him! Jake plants a knee right in his face as he rushes in though, very nice. Jake tries a DDT but Savage holds on to the ropes! Jake does a great sell job as he crashes on the back of his head. Savage with the elbow drop to get the win to an enormous pop! Savage wants to fight more but Jake bails. One of the best feuds I watched, and itís hard to believe theyíre going to change gears so suddenly before Wrestlemania still.

    Awesomeness Rating: ****


    Intercontinental Happenings

    Bret Hart vs. Barry Horowitz, WWF Intercontinental Championship 1/5/92 WWF Challenge

    BH: You know, if I were the Hitman-

    GM: I wish you were the Hitman, then you wouldnít be sitting here!
    So a whole buttload of IC title stuff happens this month, but just to set the stage we start out with Bret still holding the title he won at Summerslam and defending it against anyone in sight. One match I found particularly memorable was a really good TV defense against none other than Barry Horowitz! We all knew Horowitz didnít really have a chance, but still I really respect the effort he put in here, and Bret is looking masterful in his role.

    GM: Bret Hart, voted wrestler of the year by his peers.

    BH: He won it on the pier?

    GM: What an insult to the name of journalism.

    BH: Youíre too hard on yourself.
    Awesomeness Rating: ***Ĺ

    However, the Hitman would hit an unexpected bump in his title reign. A real life illness would temporarily impair his ability to perform, and while he was still able to drag himself to the arena, he ended up dropping the title to a surprising opponent at a house show.

    GM: The Hitman had a temperature of 104 degrees and still wrestled, thatís the kind of man he is.

    BH: I once had a temperature of 128 degrees, and I still went skiing.
    The next time we came back to TV, we learned that The Mountie, Jacques Rougeau himself, was the new Intercontinental Champion!

    We see clips of Jacques beating Bret, and whipping him with the title after the match as well as threatening him with the shock stick.

    GM: Something should be done about that weapon of the Mountie!

    BH: Youíre right, it probably needs new batteries.
    Piper shows up and Jacques bails, but then the Mountie returns and smacks Piper in the head too!

    BH: Maybe Piper can splurge, go out and spend $20 on some new bagpipes.

    GM: Oh, please!

    BH: Ok, $15? I donít know how much they cost. And I donít care.
    Piper gets back up and they fight a bit more. In addition to being entered in the Rumble itself, Piper decided to take a shot at taking the Intercontinental Championship on the same night!

    BH: Piper could lose two titles in the same day!

    GM: No he couldnít, he doesnít have two titles.

    BH: Well then he canít win two titles either!

    GM: Oh yes he could.

    BH: Stop contradicting me!!
    Roddy Piper vs. Jacques Rougeau (w/Jimmy Hart), WWF Intercontinental Championship 1/19/92 WWF Royal Rumble

    GM: What a poor representative the Mountie is for that Intercontinental title!

    BH: You want to be represented by a guy in a skirt?

    GM: Heís got more integrity in his little finger than the Mountie does in his whole body!

    BH: Heís got more pleats in his skirt too!
    One of Piperís best in ring tactics is to start things hot, and thatís exactly what he does here! We see some nice back and forth but Piper stays ahead and wins pretty easily with the sleeper, ending Jacquesí short reign and giving Piper his first ever title in the WWF. Piper shocks Mountie with his own stick after the match. Sorry Jacques, I love your act but itís Piper!

    BH: Piper is always wearing that little pleated skirt-

    GM: Itís a kilt!

    BH: Just because heís from Scotland, itís a kilt? If he was from Newark, itíd be a skirt!
    Awesomeness Rating: ***ľ

    Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Bret Hart 1/31/92 WWF MSG

    BH: Big deal, Bret Hart wrestled with 104 degree temperature. Iíve wrestled at 113!

    GM: Thatís not true, youíd be dead!

    BH: Well, I didnít feel real well.

    GM: You should have let Paul Bearer take care of you!
    Ok, this isnít directly related to the IC title, but Bret does soon return to the ring with an eye on regaining the title he barely lost. Thus, we get this match as Bret looks to prove that heís back to 100%, and we get to see a preview of the future of the WWF in the process! Taker attacks Bret before heís ready and chokes him a bunch, which is Takerís go to move in this era. Bret makes a really good comeback and knocks Taker out of the ring, but he lands on his feet. So Bret dives wildly out on him, wow!! Bretís final comeback is fantastic, as he counters Old School in a great way and starts hitting improbable suplexes and neckbreakers to put over how tough Taker is to grind down.

    BH: The Undertaker almost came crashing down on my head!

    GM: Thatís part of your job!

    BH: To bail out of here? I think youíre right!
    The ref is bumped, and Taker is put in the Sharpshooter! Bearer holds the ref down until Bret releases the hold to swat him away. Taker pops back up and clobbers Bret with the urn! Taker gets the dirty win in a really awesome match.

    Awesomeness Rating: ****ĺ


    The Foundation Series

    Owen Hart & Jim Neidhart vs. Kato & Tanaka (w/Mr Fuji) 1/19/92 WWF Royal Rumble

    So hereís something controversial: I like the New Foundation more than the original, on the whole. The original peaked higher but they had way more chances to do so. And Iím such an Owen mark that yíall probably shouldnít really be surprised! Case in point, Owen takes a face first bump into Fujiís cane that looks totally nuts in this match. I think he broke the damn thing, and Iíll let you decide if I mean the cane or his face. Everyone does so well in this match, and none better than Owen. He does an awesome tope with Neidhartís help!! And the Rocket Launcher for the win! Thereís a lot of lov for the Rockers match with the Orient Express the year before, but I think I actually like this one even better. Really great match.

    Awesomeness Rating: ****Ĺ


    Scent of a Tornado

    Rick Martel vs. Kerry von Erich 1/31/92 WWF MSG

    Rick Martel is back!! One of my all time favorites. Granted, he was always better as a babyface, but I have a lot of love for him in any form and donít mind the Model gimmick. Martel is right back in form here with great selling and bumping. Kerryís got solid power, as usual, and does his thing just fine as Martel elevates the match to a higher level. Martel gets the dirty win, giving me hope that heíll get a solid push on his return! Kerry clobbers him after the match with the perfume sprayer and chases him backstage.

    Awesomeness Rating: ***ĺ


    Miscellaneous Quotes

    GM: Barbarian lost his antlers! What happened?

    BH: You ask him. Iím not going near him.
    BH: Barbarian doesnít like anyone. When I managed him he barely liked me!
    BH: I heard Ted DiBiase is gonna buy El Matadorís hometown, tear it down, and build a slum.

    GM: Why, so Sherri can have a place to live?
    GM: I thought you guys were supposed to have class. You and Perfect are wearing the same ties as last week, but switched!

    BH: We both shop in the best places!
    BH: Donít touch the Bushwhackers, children. You donít know where theyíve been.
    BH: You know why Jamisonís parents never got divorced? Nobody wanted custody of him.
    GM: Jamison, they canít hurt you with words.

    BH: Thatís true, what bad thing could you say to him that hasnít been said?
    GM: The Genius slapped Jamison! What a despicable act!

    BH: I know, disgusting to touch Jamison at all!
    BH: What if I came up with a poem like the Genius does?

    GM: I think even Jamison could come up with something better!

    BH: Yeah, probably typhoid.
    GM: Who is that in there, Beau or Blake?

    BH: Yes.
    GM: What gives Skinner the right to bring out that smelly alligator claw?

    BH: He likes it! You like Italian food!

    GM: But I donít bring it out here!

    BH: But you would if you could.

    GM: Yeah, but I donít.
    GM: If youíre not careful going after those gators, you could lose a couple appendages.

    BH: I really donít think itíd be able to get your appendix.

    GM: I said appendages!

    BH: Yeah, thatís more than one appendix.
    GM: What does Skinner chew, anyway?

    BH: Stuff he finds on the highway, I guess.

    GM: Jamison got some on his suit and had a hell of a time getting it out.

    BH: Ah, the human spittoon.
    GM: The Bushwhackers are going bananas!

    BH: No, theyíre going sardines. YOU go bananas.
    BH: I never understood why a guy would go around and greet and make nice with the humanoids to try to gain support. Seems like a cheap way of doing it.

    GM: You have to be a nice guy. You wouldnít know anything about it.
    GM: I heard Warlord is handy with a knife and fork, a big eater if someone else is picking up the tab. Kind of like you!

    BH: No, Iíve never picked up a tab in my life.
    BH: Youíve got one chance at life, to make as much as you can as quick as you can, and if you donít youíre stupid.

    GM: They can put that on your epitaph.

    BH: That and a friend in need is a pest.
    And thatís the month, folks!! One of the biggest months in one of the best creative periods in company history. Weíre seeing a lot of seeds bearing fruit here, seeds that were planted as far back as Summerslam in some cases, and thereís even more build towards the biggest show of the year. Iíd go so far as to say this is one of the greatest roads to Wrestlemania in the whole run of the WWF. There are so many big characters, huge storylines, stuff that you just HAVE to tune in and see what happens next. Itís the absolute best, and I hope it brings you just as much joy as it does me on this lovely holiday!

    Thatís it for today, humanoids. Iíll be back next year with the next entry, until then donít let the ham-and-eggers get you down, and stay awesome!

  2. #2
    Member #25 SirSam's Avatar
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    Loved this man. I know its been a while since I commented on one of your Heenan columns but I truly do love the series.

    The 1992 Rumble really is such a special event. It is an all time call by Heenan, one of Flair's greatest nights in the ring even by his incredible standards and in a broader context kind of marks when The Rumble really became what it is today.

    Heenan's performance going from triumphant to abject despair minute by minute is incredible and woudl have to rank amongst the best calls in wrestling history. There are some individual lines that are more famous but across the entire span of a match, particularly an hour long match it is incredible what he pulled off.

    I'm glad you pointed out the Hogan being a sore loser bit, it has always annoyed me in this and is jsut a weird character flaw they decided to inject.

    GM: The Bushwhackers are going bananas!

    BH: No, theyíre going sardines. YOU go bananas.
    On a different note something like this truly shows how good Heenan was off the cuff, the instant witt and ability to pull off such a stupid line make him great.

    Did you happen to catch how Sean Spears was doing the Heenan picking winners and then changing at the last minute bit when he was on commentary for AEW Dark recently?

    Bloody good stuff here man, I hope posting it up on the main page gets it a little bit of extra attention.

  3. #3
    Beautiful Fandom Mystic's Avatar
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    Visual rhetoric. The image on the main page, which is from the video at the bottom of your article. With the many decades of #babyfaceprivilege, heels aren't really allowed to have too many honest celebrations. If they win something, they are often condemned from the jump, and if they do celebrate, it's considered a way to taunt the babyface or the fans. It can never be that they worked harder and won the contest which is the whole thing, and they are celebrating because of it. That would imply they could be happy, or joyful, or an actual person independent the babyface. But the image on the site? Those are three heels smiling, celebrating, joyful, independent of babyfaces. What a crew! What a moment! What celebration! Thing. Of. Beauty.

    Like this series and this article.

    I forgot about how wonderfully Heenan stretched the "Not fair to flair" mantra in this era. With "Reinstate the Macho Man," this was quite the time for lasting slogans. Love Heenan admitting he can't be objective. I might have been disappointed if I had turned it on and he was acting like a babyface commentator does every show, but he gave us a heads up. Decent.

    They say Hogan was HOT after this one. Felt like he had been set up when he heard the crowd reaction. In reality, his gimmick was simply getting past the expiration date.

    Bobby is a heel, though. Know how I know. He gets his kicks from trying to turn consultants against their wrestlers when it wouldn't benefit him at all. Ah. No. That wasn't Bobby. That was the babyfaces.

    Alas. What good stuff here. With a tear in my eye, what good stuff here.

  4. #4
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    I believe in Bret's autobiography he says he didn't really have a fever, he was really negotiating a new contract with the WWF and the fever was just a way for him to save face as they took the belt off him.

    The line about Marty trying to dive through the window is hilarious. I guess you could say during that segment Marty's career went out the window, too.

    I agree that there were a lot of great characters during this time period with some really great writing. Late 91 through WrestleMania 8 is probably my favorite time period in WWE history.

    Also, Hogan actually got booed at Survivor Series 91. I don't know if he was booed earlier than that, maybe he was.

    Great column, but a lot of the Heenan quotes aren't nearly as great on paper as they are when you hear Heenan say them.

  5. #5
    The Brain
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    Feedback time!

    Samwell! Always enjoy when you get a chance to comment. I hardly know of any stretches of commentary that can match Heenan's effort here, which is truly incredible. Hogan being a sore loser isn't really anything new, but there was a greater light shone on it here and fans were giving him a lot less leeway as they got tired of his act. And hell YES, Heenan's quick wit really is something. Some of the best lines in the series are buried in random episodes of TV and seem to come out of nowhere. I did like that Spears was using some classic Heenan traits in his commentary stint, if you're going to imitate you might as well model yourself after the best! Thanks for the read, and for putting it up on the MP!

    Mystic! I figured you wouldn't want to miss this one! There's something so genuinely uplifting about Flair and Heenan coming out on top here. Everyone told them they couldn't do it, that they were fools and clowns, tried to undermine their camp, and it. Didn't. Matter. They came out on top anyway! Now that's a classic hero's journey if I ever heard one. Heenan truly runs with "Fair to Flair" and even brings it back in WCW a few times, one of my favorite little catchphrases in wrestling. As for Hogan, I'd say he was set up... by his own actions! Ever since the 90s rolled around Hogan has been more and more careless with his words and actions, and fans weren't going to ignore the signs forever. The act went from genuinely exciting to insufferable and this was a breaking point for sure. Thank you so much for the read and the kind words!

    Ripper! Interesting fact about why Bret dropped the title, I must have missed that one. Strange situation, can't really think of another time the company pulled a title switch like that! Marty's fall was indeed as hilarious as it was portentous. I think if Jannetty had managed to overcome his demons better he would have had a more successful WWF career, clearly they were willing to give him some chances but he never seemed to get his act together and unlike Shawn he wasn't good enough to excel in spite of it. Strongly agree that this is a wonderful time for the WWF! I didn't hear strong boos for Hogan at Survivor Series but no doubt it's been building for a while, with the downgraded venue of Wrestlemania VII being a big piece of evidence (I know, the "bomb threat", but come on...). And there's nothing better than actually listening to Heenan, for sure! Thanks for the read mate!

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Sep 2018
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    Nooooooooooooo! Your MOTY series is literally my most anticipated column each year. U can make it up by recommending a few of your favourite matches.

    Hogan sounds delusional as all hell here. Checking with kids if he could injure people. Was he even still over? Perhaps WWE was doing a slow burn heel turn?

    When fans speak about this Royal Rumble they mention Heenan more than the actual Rumble. So my question is, was it solely Heenan that made this Rumble memorable (besides Flair's early entry and going the distance)?

    Favourite quotes:


    BH: Jake saved Flair from Piper! Thank you, Jake!

    GM: Now he’s going after Flair!

    BH: You can’t trust a snake, I always said that!


    BH: You know why Jamison’s parents never got divorced? Nobody wanted custody of him.


    Another great entry as usual.

  7. #7
    The Brain
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    Ah, so sorry to disappoint Don! I'll still post at least one column with some suggestions, don't worry.

    I've never heard it rumored that there was an idea in the WWF to turn Hogan heel, I think he really just thought he could phone it in, say anything and do anything, and stay over. Bear in mind he was one of the most popular people not just in wrestling but in the entire country in the 80s, so a little delusion could be expected. And yeah, he was still over for the most part! Though not nearly as much as when he was at his peak, as evidenced by the crowd turning on him here.

    I don't think you can talk about the Rumble separately from Heenan's performance too easily, but I will say I believe if you watched this Rumble in the live crowd without hearing Heenan's commentary it would still come off as a tremendous match. Beyond Heenan and Flair being iron men, the combined star power is huge and there are so many smaller stories intersecting and creating interesting moments. All the stuff with Piper, Jake, and Savage alone would have made the match great.

    Thanks for the read as always mate!

  8. #8
    Ah, perhaps the high point of the series. Great job bringing that Royal Rumble match and feeling home. It's fantastic to see the build around the match, too. The before and after... I didn't know they sowed seeds of Perfect turning so early on. Cool stuff.

    Both the Rocker and Sid/Hogan build were great examples of a heel turn done right. Strong story-telling in these months.


    What a fantastic find you had with the Bret/Taker match. I never knew this one existed! I really love Bret back in these years. Cool to hear some commentary on the New Foundation as well.


    Great read, my man!
    See the latest of my Ric Flair saga click here. http://lordsofpain.tv/showthread.php...acock-(Part-2) View my story inspired by colorful wrestlers I've come across in my fandom. http://lordsofpain.tv/showthread.php...-the-Challenge

  9. #9
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SirSam View Post
    Loved this man. I know its been a while since I commented on one of your Heenan columns but I truly do love the series.
    This pretty much sums me up for the series as well. Figured I'd do a new years comment to let you know I'm still reading & still appreciating the series

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