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  1. #1
    Mediocrity at it's finest kingzak13's Avatar
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    Kingzak Presents: PPV-Star of the Decade part 3


    Slowly improving


    Whatís up guys, Kingzak is back in action with another column. Itís been a while since I popped in for the PPV-Star series, but thankfully there is a brief break in the WWEís merciless PPV schedule for me to take time to write this. We are still firmly in the dregs of the list Ö not even dregs, itís that shitty end part where itís just bubbles Ö I think that is different to dregs, Iím not a big drinker so Iím not really familiar. We are slowly but surely amassing superstars of relevance or those that are more geared to a different decade. So without further ado, letís see whoís making the list this time around.


    And in case you missed the first two parts or want a refresher




    #265
    Drake Maverick
    Crown Jewel 2019: Pre-show battle royal 1.5 Stars
    Total Stars: 1.5 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-1 (-0.025)
    Final Score = 1.485 Stars


    While I am doubtful that Drake is ever gonna rank highly on one of these lists, he is probably going to have a better 20s as far as his WWE career is concerned. The former Rockstar Spud has had a rather varying career in WWE, managing the Authors of Pain for a few months, being GM of 205Live and most recently chasing the 24/7 title.

    Maverick is a genuine oddity in wrestling, he can play the sympathetic role so very well (seen in his match against EC3 that is probably gonna be our Royal Viewing Gallery match of the episode.) but can also be someone that is just so fun to see getting tossed about. He plays the comedy character very well. As far as what Iíd do, Iíd bring him over to NXT UK and just have him play the big time character since ďheís been on the big timeĒ it would get a lot of heat. Or maybe just stick him back with EC3 since neither are doing anything right now.


    #264
    Shaquille OíNeil
    #263
    Tatanka
    WrestleMania 32: Andre Battle Royal 1.5 Stars
    Total Stars: 1.5 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-1 (-0.025)
    Final Score = 1.485 Stars


    The WM32 Andre battle Royal is technically the best of the battle royals since it is the only one that succeeded in building the winner up. The match itself wasnít anything to really comment on (the whole of WM32 wasnít really anything to comment on), but was notable due to the appearance of Shaquille OíNeil and his brief encounter with the Big Show. The two would be eliminated by everyone in the match after a brief brawl.

    Elsewhere in the match, Tatanka was there, I canít really comment much on him since he is very before my time and has never really come up when discussing great bits of the past, to my knowledge he existed at the time, but thatís it. Heís like the 80ís version of Heath Slater, heís there and he pops up every now and then but no one quite remembers why. I know he came back in the mid-2000s for some reason, but that is the extent of my Tatanka knowledge.

    Note: These two beat Maverick by lasting longer in their match than he did in his. But they are all beat by our next entrants match length.


    #262
    Shad Gaspard
    Extreme Rules 2010: Lost to JTG 1.5 stars
    Total Stars: 1.5 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-1 (-0.025)
    Final Score = 1.485 Stars


    Oh late 2000s how I over romanticise you. Cryme Tyme remains one of my favourite tag teams just for a blend of nostalgia and comedy. While I doubt I would ever go back and watch their stuff I enjoyed it at the time. Cryme Tyme would split after WrestleMania 26 and would find their way into a strap match at Extreme Rules, JTG picked up the win and the two would continue this feud on superstars for the next few weeks, because when your feud matters, superstars is the show to be on.


    #261
    Eva Marie
    Survivor Series 2013: Team Womenís wrestlerís vs Team Divas 0.5 Stars
    WrestleMania 30: Lost to AJ Lee in the divas championship clusterfuck 1.25 Stars
    WrestleMania 32: Team Blonde and Bad vs Team Total Divas 1.5 Stars
    Total Stars: 3.25 Stars
    Win-Loss: 2-1 (+0.075)
    Years wrestled in: 3 (+0.03)
    Final Score = 1.188333 Stars



    Can I puppy my way through an entrant on this series? Well if there was ever a time to try it Ö






    #260
    Ethan Carter 3
    WrestleMania 35: Andre Battle Royal 1 star
    Super ShowDown 2019: 50 person battle royal 2 stars
    Total Stars: 3 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-2 (-0.05)
    Final Score = 1.46 Stars


    I donít think I have ever seen a push abandoned quite as fast as EC3ís. 2018 he was heading along nicely in NXT, faced Velveteen Dream at Brooklyn 4, Ethan was injured during the match and apparently he was supposed to be called up during the summer, but it ended up pushed back. Makes you wonder how things could have gone for him if not for that.

    Ethan was brought up in a random clump of NXT Superstars and of that clump is the only one to not have a singles PPV match to their name, Ethan was used as battle royal fodder at both WrestleMania and Super ShowDown. Ethan never really got a push on the main roster, but I guess there is still time.


    #259
    Goldberg
    Survivor Series 2016: Beat Brock Lesnar 1 star
    The Royal Rumble 2017: 3 Stars
    Elimination Chamber 2017: Beat Kevin Owens 0 stars
    WrestleMania 33: Lost to Brock Lesnar 2 Stars
    Super ShowDown 2019: lost to Undertaker -1.25 Stars
    SummerSlam 2019: Beat Dolph Ziggler 0.5 stars
    Total Stars: 5.25 Stars
    Win-Loss: 3-3 (+0.075)
    Years wrestled in: 3 (+0.03)
    Final Score = 0.98 Stars


    Some of you may notice the disparity in score between Goldberg and Ethan Carter above, well Goldberg had two more years wrestled in and four more matches, which give him a 0.5 star bonus when the two are compared.

    Goldbergís first return to WWE mainly focused on continuing his abysmal feud with Brock Lesnar, for some reason you idiots liked it, I say this as I remember people loving the feud while I didnít give a shit. Iím proud to say that I was right once again, as it did in essence birth the half assed Brock Lesnar match weíve all come to loathe. However he did manage to get six stars across four matches, even if the majority are from the Royal Rumble.


    His second stint is where things get interesting (or tedious if you arenít as into numbers as I am). Goldberg faced Undertaker in what would have been a dream match 20 years earlier. The two proceeded to have one of the worst matches ever, injuring themselves and each other. Like in all seriousness this is the second worst match across the 2010s PPV table. For a point of reference, another match that shares the -1.25 PPV-Star rating is Undertaker vs Giant Gonzalez from WM9. This was that level of bad.

    Both men tried to style it out by having another match within the next couple months, but it still left Goldberg with a 2019 score of -0.075, that is the first time someoneís had a final score under 0 across multiple matches in PPV-Star history. He literally scored negative points here. Take out 2019 and he ends up at a 1.57 final score, which would have seen him about 15 spots higher. I can only pray that Goldberg has wrestled his last match, but nowadays who knows, WWE will let anyone wrestle.


    #258
    Camacho
    Over the Limit 2012: Lost to Ryback 1 Star
    Money in the Bank 2012: With Hunico lost to Kofi Kingston and R-Truth 2.25 Stars
    Total Stars: 3.25 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-2 (-0.05)
    Final Score = 1.585 Stars


    For those who donít remember (90% of you) Camacho was brought in as the bodyguard of Hunico, who was the fake Sin Cara after he was unmasked (and later became Sin Cara again when the original left) and he was every bit the stereotype youíd expect for a Mexican. The duo never amounted to much, with Camacho jobbing to Ryback, and an unsuccessful tag title match.

    Yet despite the lacklustre career and stereotypical gimmick, I do have a favourite Camacho moment. It didnít happen in 2012, it took place a couple of months ago. Time for a little backstory. There is a video game called Trivia Murder party, itís a fun little multiplayer trivia game, and at the end there is a round where you and the other players race to the exit by answering questions. And right at the end of a round I was playing, the group got this question.


    My obscure knowledge of Camachoís existence won me a trivia game. I was overjoyed when the question came up, and in my eyes has completely legitimised Camacho WWE career.

    Also the idea of President Camacho as a gimmick is pretty fucking funny to me.


    #257
    James Ellsworth
    The Royal Rumble 2017: 1.75 Stars
    Total Stars: 1.75 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-1 (-0.025)
    Final Score = 1.735 Stars


    For anyone curious about Ellsworth getting 1.75 Stars for the 2017 Rumble while Goldberg gets 3 Stars. The Rumble(s) are actually graded on a curve, with the main components (top couple time, top couple eliminations and winner) getting the full score, while non-factors get less and less based on their performance. Ellsworth was in the match for 15 seconds before getting Brauned out of the ring.


    Tied #256
    Steve Cutler and Wesley Blake (The forgotten Sons)
    Survivor Series 2019: Pre-Show Tag team Battle Royal 1.75 Stars
    Total Stars: 1.75 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-1 (-0.025)
    Final Score = 1.735 Stars


    Realistically, the next 6 entrants are actually all tied; all got a 1.75 Star loss. The only difference being the match time. Blake and Cutler had a performance almost three times as good as Ellsworth, lasting 43 seconds. Spoiler alert, this is not the last time we see this battle royal today.


    #254
    The Boogeyman
    The Royal Rumble 2015: 1.75 Stars
    Total Stars: 1.75 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-1 (-0.025)
    Final Score = 1.735 Stars


    Beating the NXT duo by four seconds, The Boogeyman. I havenít scored every PPV match of The Boogeymans, but by all accounts, this is his only one that receives a score above 0 (based on a cursory glance at his other PPV matches).


    Tied #253
    Fabian Aichner and Marcel Barthel (Imperium)
    Survivor Series 2019: Pre-Show Tag team Battle Royal 1.75 Stars
    Total Stars: 1.75 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-1 (-0.025)
    Final Score = 1.735 Stars


    Well at least they lasted longer than a minute. So theyíve got that going for them. Imperiumís performance in the tag team match was fairly middling, lasting till about the half way point before their elimination. If there is a positive, itís that this year they have smashed that score, between their ladder match at Blackpool and the match against The Undisputed Era the two are looking pretty good for 2020.


    #251
    Joey Mercury
    SummerSlam 2010: with CM Punk and Luke Gallows lost to Big Show 1.75 Stars
    Total Stars: 1.75 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-1 (-0.025)
    Final Score = 1.735 Stars


    For some reason, a lot of people seem to have fond memories of the Straight Edge Society. Honestly it was just a platform for CM Punk; it did nothing else to help anyone. The best example of this is right here, Punk, Gallows and Mercury were not an effective unit. The match clocked in at just under five minutes. Punk faced Show at the next PPV and doubled that time, which means that Gallows and Mercury halved CM Punks abilities. That is quite literally the definition of a useless team, when everyone becomes less competent as a unit than separately.


    Tied #250
    Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford (The Street Profits)
    Survivor Series 2019: Pre-Show Tag team Battle Royal 1.75 Stars
    Total Stars: 1.75 Stars
    Win-Loss: 0-1 (-0.025)
    Final Score = 1.735 Stars


    Our last entrant from the tag team match and last one for this edition. The Street Profits were the last team eliminated from the match, giving them a total of eight minutes of PPV time. The match was filler of the highest calibre, but it did give a lot of superstars an extra 1.75 Stars to work with, and gave us an extra six superstars to the list. I would give my thoughts on the match itself but itís a pre-show battle royal, I just donít care. They should have put a tag title shot for the winners on the line, that would have at least meant the match means something.




    Ok we are almost through the bottom 50, but things arenít gonna be getting much better. But at least this time we got more superstars that are better going forwards instead of the dregs of the 2010s, so thereís that. And on that moderately optimistic note, it is time I bid you all a fond farewell. As always I hope you have enjoyed todayís column and I will see you next time.

    One to watch: as mentioned at the start of the column, Iím cheating once again and putting TNAís EC3 vs Rockstar Spud match as our match of the column. I am eager for finally being able to put a proper WWE match in this slot, but this match is genuinely very good.

  2. #2
    The Brain
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    EC3 vs. Spud is one of my favorite matches of all time (particularly if you include the aftermatch!) so you're right up my street with that one, Zak! Sad to see both guys so low on the list, but what can you do?

    Also love the shoutout for Trivia Murder Party, which I play all the time! I think President Camacho is a character from the movie Idiocracy, but there's crossover value for you right?

  3. #3
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    The match clocked in at just under five minutes. Punk faced Show at the next PPV and doubled that time, which means that Gallows and Mercury halved CM Punks abilities. That is quite literally the definition of a useless team, when everyone becomes less competent as a unit than separately.
    This is a great observation, not something I'd ever considered. How many other examples of factions/teams weakening the individuals do you think there are?

  4. #4
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    I always enjoyed Cryme Tyme as a team. Ironically enough, during the PG Era, they faces so that was definitely not good for kids haha.

    Also, what's WWEs problem with EC3. I bet he wishes he stayed at TNA. At least he would have been important there.

  5. #5
    Mediocrity at it's finest kingzak13's Avatar
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    @Mizfan: it's a shame to see them so low, but the majority of their decade was spent over in TNA so a high spot was doubtful. hopefully WWE give them more of an opportunity this year.

    Had no idea about the film, I just figured it was a dumb sounding wrestling character idea. That's pretty cool.


    @Dynamite: Well a column is underway, probably coming next week since Takeover is this weekend. Some interesting discoveries thus far.


    @Don: yeah, not a thing that really should be glorified, but they did it in a fun way for the most part. and if memory serves me right they seemed to end up as John Cena's back up surprisingly often.

    From what I have heard, it is because EC3 didn't get cheered against Dean Ambrose after Ambrose was announced as leaving. because he couldn't get cheered some higher up figured it would be better to just leave him. I agree with you about him staying in TNA, better to be a big fish in a small pond than a completely ignored fish in an overcrowded aquarium.


    Thanks to everyone for reading, hope you enjoyed it.

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