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Thread: Creative Works

  1. #1

    Creative Works

    share chapters or short stories of your creative pieces (wrestling or non wrestling)
    Last edited by Benjamin Button; 05-12-2018 at 06:55 AM.

  2. #2
    Hoping to get this thread rolling soon.. maybe even hold some contests

  3. #3
    Preview..

    He presses the gas, looking at the face of the helmet to his left in his lane on highway 66. Every car and bike has nothing but headlights to guide them. He's a bike. He's never seen the sun. Light is a bulb emitting a path. That's light.

    He takes a left off highway 66 onto whore street. He brakes. Then, stepping his left leg over the pad, his feet touch the hard pavement. There's a black chick. He grabs her ass. "I'm president Sea. He says. Let's have fun."

    "President? Ha! You grab my ass and call yo self dat? What da hell wrong with you. You fucked dis place up! Grab my ass and tell me dat? We grown ass people and look at you in those jeans! Make some damn sun shine like our fathers talked about then come back. Grabbing my ass and calling you self dat! My cousin gonna kick yo ass!"

  4. #4
    The Brain
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    A thread just for Benny to post random fiction is something I can get behind.

  5. #5
    Super Moderator Prime Time's Avatar
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    I like the idea, I hope more people jump on it.

    I can't really throw anything in myself right now, so I'm not helping matters. But I hope this takes off.

    "The worst moron is the one too stupid to realise they're a moron."

  6. #6
    Gonna be an uphill climb..especailly since I'm working a lot of hours right now. But I think this has legs

  7. #7
    32B apparently SirSam's Avatar
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    That was quite a fun little exert Benny. Looking forward to reading more.

  8. #8
    Lamb of LOP anonymous's Avatar
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    Prime Time: This UK vs US thing is a nightmare. It’s really reaching a point where I’m sick of them all.

    Steve: Sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help?

    Prime Time: I don’t know. It’s just got totally out of hand. People are whining, others aren’t showing interest, people are even posting joke columns. It’s really frustrating and I’m on the verge of deleting the whole thing. And the prediction contests are getting too time consuming too.

    Steve: Delete it if you have to. I wish I could do the same with my “Ask” thread. It’s spiralled out of control. I wish people would get the fucking hint.

    Prime Time: And all these fucking Russian Trolls.

    Steve: I know. I banned 50 people today. I didn’t even get to see any titty pictures this time.

    Prime Time: if only there was a way it could all just go away for a bit and we could have a break...

    Steve: I know just what to do....

    *Steve logs into a special part of the forums. He reaches for the drink next to his desk and necks it. It’s his 10th of the day and he’s feeling it. With a heavy heart, he presses the special button he’s been told never to press...*

    Steve: There we go. Sorted.

    Prime Time: Wow, have you deleted the threads? I’ll just log on.....oh, I got an error message. Steve? What have you done? Where’s the forums?!

    Steve: I thought we needed a break from all this shit? Plus I really needed to get rid of that ask thread. A couple more drinks and I can go to bed knowing there’s no risk of any more spam.

    Prime Time: What have you done?!

    *Steve goes to sleep, unaware of the chaos unfolding on social media about the death of the forums. Prime Time quickly logs out of everything and pours himself a stiff drink. It’s 9am in the UK.*

    Prime Time: Fuck.

    *Fast forward 6 hours. Steve wakes up with a raging headache and no recollection of the night. He uses his phone to catch up and discovers hundred of messages across all sorts of social media outlets.*

    Steve: Fuck.

  9. #9
    Super Moderator Prime Time's Avatar
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    Too close to home, mate!

    "The worst moron is the one too stupid to realise they're a moron."

  10. #10
    I will support Steve with 200 percent of my heart if this is true
    Last edited by Benjamin Button; 4 Weeks Ago at 11:06 PM.

  11. #11
    32B apparently SirSam's Avatar
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    Let the Ask Steve conspiracy begin

  12. #12
    Tons of steel touched faces as the two stood face to face outside their Chevrolets while the valley of the gun rose its sand between their faces. "On a scale of 1 to 10 what'd you rate Kim", Luther said.

    Miklo swallowed a hard reality as Luther asked this. He reminisced of the Steinberg treatment. Mr Steinberg really cared for a student named "Herbert" but pronounced his name incorrectly. He'd say, "have you seen Hubutt. Hubutt's getting thick. If you see Hubutt grab Hubutt for me!"

    The case went federal when a student grabbed her butt and said Steinberg told him to. Steinberg got the penis guillotine on public TV as President Chelsy Clinton smiled....


    "If they heard us talking like this they'd give us the the Mr Steinberg treatment," Miklo said, swallowing the desert's rapture.
    Last edited by Benjamin Button; 3 Weeks Ago at 03:05 AM.

  13. #13
    Nightingale



    The man who rides beside me.



    Organization X owned the City. Every exit out on highway 66 read “dead end.” A dome stood in place of the sky and the night had no day to oppose with. It’d been that way for over 60 years in Nightingale and Easy Eric Sea worked his way to be the President.


    He loved the cool air condition from the dome on highway 66. Still, sometimes, he saw a helmet in the lane next to him. It’s illegal to share a lane in Nightingale, but he never got pulled. And this surprised him, because cops loved nothing more than to pull over powerful people. He knew common people’s misconception of any sin being above the law to be wrong. For if anything it made common people happy to see a man like him at their mercy.


    For months he tried to signal to the rider to go in another lane. He tried to slow down, and then the rider’d slow down. When he tried to speed up; the rider sped up. This went on, but cops always passed them. He’d never been in trouble. Therefore, he learned the rider next to him to be OK.



    They’d nod and switch lanes together. They sped up and slowed down together. Sometimes he’d look left to see the rider disappeared. A mystery, he thought.


    He pressed the gas, looking at the face of the helmet to his left. Every car and bike had nothing but headlights to guide them. He was a bike. He never saw the sun. Light was a bulb emitting a path; that's light!


    He’d take a left off highway 66 onto Whore Street. He braked. Then, stepping his left leg over the pad, his feet touched the hard pavement. There was a black chick. He grabbed her ass. "I'm president Sea. He said. Let's have fun."


    "President? Ha! You grab my ass and call yo self dat? What da hell wrong with you. You fucked dis place up! Grab my ass and tell yo self dat? We grown ass people and look at you in those jeans! Make some damn sun shine like our fathers talked about then come back. Grabbing my ass and calling you self dat! My cousin gonna kick yo ass!"
    Last edited by Benjamin Button; 3 Weeks Ago at 04:07 AM.

  14. #14
    The Brain
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    I'm very interested already! Hopefully there's more? Like, a lot more?

  15. #15
    There's more... working on a lot of things but hard to get too much into anything while work is heavy..but hopefully we'll see some creative works from others in this thread soon, too!

  16. #16
    He recommended 4 roses before he passed. Let me tell you, that whiskey is one hell of a floral arrangement. I drank all four of the roses to amount to a fifth of whiskey in his memory.

    Rose 1: It's a transition from sobriety to another existence. A man corks his soul in a bottle. When he drinks bourbon, he pops the cork and the shit explodes. Rose one is just popping the cork.

    Rose 2: It's an explosion of he soul and earth holds the pieces. The next day you gotta pick them up and put them back in the bottle.

    Rose 3: Roses are love. A man loves his brother and I drink this third rose for him and lay it down for him.

    Rose 4: It's the love that makes the dead live. My brother, you will forever be bottled in my soul. My soul will be mixed with your undying energy and never be the same.

    That my friends is one hell of a bourbon!
    Last edited by Benjamin Button; 2 Weeks Ago at 04:43 AM.

  17. #17
    The Brain
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    Almost makes me want to be a drinking man! Almost.

  18. #18
    He preached for money and a living. He preached out of hope outside the grind.

    Yet, the grind stopped it all for him. The preachers he heard told him a good young man would distance Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John between himself and the girl he courted.

    But that night, somehow, those disciples followed her ass like it was on twitter. He flipped their pages and grabbed her bubble. It's then he knew he couldn't be a praying man unless he prayed to her ass's holiness.

    Sliding his angel in and out of heaven, he couldn't agree with a Jesus or any of his disciples who'd stand in the way.
    Last edited by Benjamin Button; 2 Weeks Ago at 10:59 PM.

  19. #19
    The Brain
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    I can weirdly relate to this passage.

  20. #20
    A drunk man's last good eye.



    The light emitted a woman. "I'm leaving you, Jeff. You're always drunk!"

    Next, the light staggered just a bit, as he pressed his left eye tight to see her Don Julio black dress-up shirt, with 3 buttons unbuttoned at the top and her jeans. At first he couldn't make the face underneath the long dark brown curls out, but indeed the woman who said this to him was Shankara. It'd been awhile since he looked at her that well.

    "Uh, why?"

    Her brown eyes and expression went clear like a cloud lifted. She sucked her cheek in with a face that said, "fuck, I don't respect you so I'm going to say this."

    "I kissed Saul last night."

    "Uh, why?"

    He squinted his left eye and saw her ass moving right to left out the door. Then he looked down at his hand, as the light showed him a big, blue "P" for Pandora underneath his Samsung's cracked glass . He played some November Rain by Guns and Roses and did drunk singing with it.

    "Nothing last," his voice rose "FOREVER, in the cold November Rain." Then, his right eye and last good one showed him a tear it trickled down to the catch of his cheek.
    Last edited by Benjamin Button; 1 Week Ago at 11:37 PM.

  21. #21
    The Brain
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    Are these connected to anything, or just awesome one offs?

    My sister teaches theater to high schoolers, and she asked me to write a 10 minute play for him. Here's what I came up with:


    The Wonderful World of Dreamy Tom
    Characters:

    THE GIRL - An average teenage girl. Very average. Dressed averagely.
    DREAMY TOM - A mysterious and whimsical vision. Ostentatious but also somehow shabby and strange. Dressed like a homeless Willy Wonka. Gender not important.
    DISTRACTION - A manifestation. Unfocused, manic, loud. Dressed so gaudy it hurts.
    PROCRASTINATION - A manifestation. Slow, languid, thrown together at the last minute. Dressed like they just rolled out of bed.
    DOUBT - A manifestation. Self loathing, morose. Afraid of failure and what others think. Dressed to blend in with the background.
    FEAR - A manifestation. At first appears cheesy but is quietly disturbing beyond all reason. Dressed in “scary” Halloween gear.
    TEACHER - The teacher. Offstage only.

    AT RISE: THE GIRL is seated in the middle of the stage, at a desk (if possible) with a sheet of paper in front of her. The lighting is the harsh glare of classroom fluorescents. That she is in a classroom with other students is implied but does not need to be staged.

    GIRL
    (To herself) Ok, you’re ready for this. You studied… ok, you didn’t actually study, you stayed up all night playing video games, but you looked at your notes that one time. Alright, you didn’t exactly take notes, but you took a 20 minute nap on your notebook around 4am, and that’s gotta do some kind of osmosis thing, right? Notebooks are smart, so being close to them makes you smart! That’s what osmosis is, isn’t it? Oh man, I hope osmosis isn’t on this test. Ok, focus. You got this. Fake til you make it. Yeah! It’s time to get this done! Gonna own this test! Bring it on!!!

    TEACHER (Offstage)
    Ready, class? And… begin.

    (GIRL flips her paper with great determination. Her face immediately falls.)

    GIRL
    (Filled with dark despair) No… osmosis.

    (GIRL thunks her head down on her desk. A beat. GIRL starts snoring.)

    DREAMY TOM (Offstage)
    (Goofy voice) Oh dear! That won’t do at all!

    (DREAMY TOM enters from STAGE RIGHT, doing a silly walk. He stops and surveys the scene in a silly way. He reaches into his coat and produces a crumpled brown paper bag. He removes a banana, a rubber chicken, and/or other silly objects, then blows the bag full of air before loudly popping it, waking THE GIRL).

    GIRL
    (With a start) I was wrong! Notebooks aren’t smart at all! Wait… (she looks around and spies the bizarre figure of Tom). Um… hey, what’s up.. Dr Seuss hobo?

    DREAMY TOM
    (Unsettlingly happy) Jokes won’t save you now!

    GIRL
    That’s a… disconcerting thing to say. Who are you, exactly?

    DREAMY TOM
    I’m Dreamy Tom! Nice to meetcha! (TOM slides up to her and pumps her hand enthusiastically through the whole next sequence, drawing her out of her seat to the front of the stage.)

    GIRL
    Um, no offense, but you’re not my idea of “dreamy”.

    DREAMY TOM
    Hey, you’re the one with the subconscious around here! Might want to check with your therapist about that one.

    GIRL
    Right… (awkward pause, handshake continues and becomes more elaborate. This can go on for a while.) We can probably stop shaking hands now.

    DREAMY TOM
    You’re the boss! (TOM twirls away dramatically and cavorts around the stage.)

    GIRL
    (Looks at her hand) Great… sticky. I’m afraid to ask, but why are you sticky?

    DREAMY TOM
    I was just at the Great Chocolate River!

    GIRL
    (Perks up) Oh, that sounds pretty good! Can we go there?

    DREAMY TOM
    (Stops dancing, suddenly solemn) No.

    GIRL
    Hey, I thought I was the boss?

    DREAMY TOM
    (Bright and cheery again) That was a lie!

    GIRL
    (Getting frustrated, paces STAGE LEFT) Oh, stupendous. Can we cut to the chase already? What exactly do you want?

    DREAMY TOM
    What do I want? (TOM takes an elaborate stance, hands on hips, and plants STAGE RIGHT, opposite GIRL). What do YOU want?

    GIRL
    Chocolate river sounded good.

    DREAM TOM
    (TOM performs the TOM LEAP, a jump in place that should be as extravagant and exaggerated as possible). Too bad! What else do you want?

    GIRL
    To… pass my test?

    DREAMY TOM
    (Another TOM LEAP) Nope! What else do you want?

    GIRL
    Maybe for you to sit your butt down and actually be helpful?

    DREAMY TOM
    (Another TOM LEAP) Good luck with that! What do YOU want? (GIRL glares at TOM, tired and annoyed. TOM is unfazed, and starts doing the TOM LEAP repeatedly). What do YOU want? What DO you want? WHAT do you WANT? What-

    GIRL
    (GIRL crosses to TOM and grabs him by the shirt) Look, Dreamy Tim-

    DREAMY TOM
    (Still very cheery) Dreamy Tom, at your service!

    GIRL
    (GIRL shakes TOM vigorously) Loooooook, you obnoxious weirdo, I’ve watched enough TV to know that you’re some kind of stupid dream guide and I’m supposed to learn some kind of stupid lesson, except I already know I should have studied for my stupid test, so you’re gonna either teach me about stupid osmosis or you’re gonna shut up and make with the magic.

    DREAMY TOM
    (Now TOM is pouting) You’re not fun.

    GIRL
    I’m genre-savvy. Now can we get on with it?

    (Instead of answering, TOM wriggles free and produces a kazoo. TOM proceeds to prance in a circle around the GIRL, playing it madly.)

    GIRL
    (Tired exasperated, doesn’t know where to being) What… what, what are you doing now?

    DREAMY TOM
    (Still playing the kazoo between words) Ask and ye shall receive! I’m summoning the first spirit so you can learn the true meaning of Christmas!

    GIRL
    Just because A Christmas Carol is in the public domain doesn’t mean you should rip it off shamelessly.

    DREAMY TOM
    (Stops playing) If I were worried about copyrights, would I steal this bit? (Plays the first part of “Shave and a Haircut)

    (DISTRACTION bursts onto the scene)

    DISTRACTION
    Two bits!!!

    GIRL
    (Releases TOM) I watch way too much TV.

    DISTRACTION
    (Manic, looking wildly in all directions, speaking fast) TV? Where? I love TV! I watch CSI, SVU, LAO, NTSFVU, basically anything with letters, but I love commercials the most because BRIGHT COLORS AND NOISES, and have you seen youtube? Yoooooutube! That sounds funny, doesn’t it? I wanna tweet about it! What’s your snapchat? I’m hungry, do you happen to have a big fat cooookie?

    GIRL
    (Sits down, not impressed, just tired) Could I just wake up and fail my test now? This is excruciating.

    DREAMY TOM
    (Suddenly venerable) No, my dear, this is Distraction! He represents, pause for effect, your distraction!

    DISTRACTION
    Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi-

    GIRL
    I get it already! But what’s the point of this guy? Weren’t you already filling the wackiness quota, Dream-like Jim?

    DREAMY TOM
    (He strokes an imaginary beard wisely) That’s Dreamy Tom, and I’m venerable now, not wacky. You are here to learn about your Distraction, and his friend, Procrastination! (A beat) Procrastination! (Nothing. Whispered to DISTRACTION) Is he coming, or…?

    (DISTRACTION suddenly cartwheels offstage. A commotion is heard. A loose wheel or other silly object rolls across the stage. DISTRACTION suddenly returns, stops stock still, then grins and shrugs extravagantly.)

    GIRL
    This is going really well.

    DISTRACTION
    HG Wells was a famous science fiction author and I have never ever read any of his books but I did read his entire wikipedia page one night at 2am which is why I know his great grandson was a consultant on Back to the Future II, which wasn’t as good as the first one but I really like those movies, which is why I watched the whole trilogy that night and I should probably sleep more but THERE’S A BUTTERFLY!!!

    (DISTRACTION careens wildly across the stage and exits)

    GIRL
    (Deadpan) I have learned. So. Much.

    DREAMY TOM
    Just you wait, you ragamuffin! We’ll learn you a thing or two yet!

    GIRL
    Yeah, somehow I doubt it.

    DOUBT (offstage)
    Oh, DO you??

    GIRL
    Who’s that? Did procrastination finally make it to the party?

    DOUBT (offstage)
    As IF.

    DREAMY TOM
    Why no, it’s none other than, drumroll, the manifestation of your doubt!

    (TOM gestures grandly to one side of the stage. DOUBT enters from the other side.)

    DOUBT
    Yeah, I was gonna come from over there but then it didn’t seem like a good idea.

    GIRL
    So, you’re supposed to be my doubts?

    DOUBT
    Probably not.

    GIRL
    But… Dreamweaver John said you were.

    DOUBT
    I don’t think he did.

    GIRL
    I… aha, I see. You’re doubting everything I say.

    DOUBT
    No I’m not.

    GIRL
    Um, yes you are?

    DOUBT
    Don’t think so.

    GIRL
    (Pause) ...this is just stupid.

    DOUBT
    No it’s super smart.

    GIRL
    Shut up!

    DOUBT
    Shut down!

    GIRL
    Hey Dopey George, what am I supposed to be learning again?

    (TOM is about to answer, when DISTRACTION charges back across the stage, yelling wildly, exiting the opposite side. They wait for the yell to fade out, but DISTRACTION charges across the opposite way. PROCRASTINATION finally enters from the side DISTRACTION just came from, and walks slowly to the center of the stage, holding an apple and looking sleepy. DISTRACTION’s yells once again get louder as he turns around again.)

    DISTRACTION
    (While running) Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooove!

    (PROCRASTINATION does not move, and DISTRACTION smashes directly into him and goes sprawling on the floor. A beat. PROCRASTINATION slowly takes a loud bite of the apple. Another beat while he chews. Finally

    PROCRASTINATION
    Ok.

    (PROCRASTINATION moves. Another beat)

    DREAMY TOM
    Bravo! Bravo!

    (TOM leads a dramatic round of applause as the three manifestations line up center stage and bow to the audience, dramatically soaking in the love of the crowd. Suddenly TOM violently motions for the audience to be quiet, and everyone looks pointedly at THE GIRL, who has taken this in with tired resignation. They wait in silence for her to speak. Finally.

    GIRL
    Um. Great job guys. I really learned… Nope, I can’t even lie. You’ve made me dumber than I was when I got here, I’m afraid.

    (The other four recoil and gasp at the word “afraid”)

    PROCRASTINATION
    Hey, don't…

    DISTRACTION
    Not that! Anything but that!

    DOUBT
    You didn’t just say that.

    DREAMY TOM
    Mi’lady, I beseech ye not so speak thus!

    PROCRASTINATION
    ...do that.

    GIRL
    Uh, weirdos say what now?

    DREAMY TOM
    I pray that thou shalt not say the word ye said!

    GIRL
    What… you don’t want me to talk about fear?

    (DISTRACTION crouches down to make themselves as small as possible. DOUBT puts their fingers in their ears. PROCRASTINATION raises a hand to make a point, then doesn’t bother and looks glum. They continue to react everytime someone says fear.)

    DREAMY TOM
    Indeed, fair lady. Do not utter the cursed word, lest thou summon yon foul beastie!

    GIRL
    I don’t know why you’re Shakespeare now, but you’re not the boss of me. I can talk about fear if I want! I can talk about fear all day! Fear, fear, fear, feary fear fear, fear!

    (FEAR appears wearing a “scary” mask and walks slowly up behind the GIRL)

    DREAMY TOM
    (Stutters) It-it-it-it-look-it… (points shakily)

    GIRL
    Let me guess, something scary behind me? That’s an old gag. It can’t be worse than you guys. (GIRL turns around and confronts FEAR, who only watches her stoically. GIRL is not impressed.) So what’s the big deal? Are you going to annoy me until I’m terrified? Take off that stupid thing!

    (GIRL rips off the mask off FEAR to reveal a normal face. The other four continue to cower and moan quietly in pain as the scene continues.)

    FEAR
    (Matter of fact) You’ll never get into a good college because there’s something wrong with you.

    GIRL
    (Taken aback) Um, what’s that now?

    FEAR
    There’s something wrong with your brain. Something not bad enough to kill you, just enough to make you slow and miserable your whole life.

    GIRL
    Um…

    FEAR
    You think your parents will take care of you forever? They’ll work themselves to the bone trying to support their useless daughter and probably lose their jobs when it gets too much to bear.

    GIRL
    (Uneasy, she starts to slowly back away, but FEAR follows) Ok, this is getting kind of heavy.

    FEAR
    They’ll lose the house, and you’ll all have to cram into your cousin’s apartment, and you’ll be 37 and your life will be over except for the miserable feeling that everyone knows it’s all your fault.

    GIRL
    Ok, let’s just put this back on- (GIRL tries to put the mask back on FEAR, but FEAR knocks it away)

    FEAR
    You’ll continue on in despair, alive on the outside but dead inside, until you die, because your body is a meat prison that will inevitably fall apart!

    GIRL
    Come on, stop it!

    FEAR
    That is, of course, unless you’ve already gone mad and you don’t even know it yet! But everyone around you knows it! It’s already too late!

    (This causes the group to break apart and start causing chaos. FEAR keeps repeating “Already too late” to GIRL. PROCRASTINATION sits down and looks around in despair, saying “I should have done it sooner”. DOUBT paces the stage, saying “I don’t think so, I don’t know”. DISTRACTION jabbers nonsense and runs in a circle. TOM begins doing the TOM LEAP again and whooping. GIRL is finally overcome by all the craziness. She runs to TOM and grabs him again.)

    GIRL
    Ok Tom, you win!

    DREAMY TOM
    Oh, NOW you know my name, do you?

    GIRL
    I’ll call you anything you want, I give up! I’ll learn better study habits! I’ll learn osmosis! Just don’t let it all go wrong!

    DREAMY TOM
    But are these visions of what might be, or what will be?

    GIRL
    (She shakes TOM vigorously) Stop doing the Dickens thing already! I’m ready to take my test! I get it now! My actions have consequences, school is important, whatever the moral is, I get it! It’s all about fear!

    DREAMY TOM
    (Gestures dramatically, and the chaos stops suddenly) By jove, I think she’s got it! Good luck on your test, dummy!

    (TOM leaps again and slams his feet down, and everyone clears the stage in a whirl, except GIRL who returns to her original seat and slumps down on the desk. After a beat she lurches up, having woken up)

    GIRL
    (Slurred) All about fear! (She looks around) I’m back! And I haven’t missed it! Oh great, now I’m doing the Scrooge thing. But my test is still here! I can dig deep, remember everything from class, and still get an A! I know I can do it, I just have to-

    TEACHER
    Time! Pencils down!

    GIRL
    Crud. (Dramatically shakes her fist) Curse you Dreamy Tom!

    (We hear TOM’s kazoo playing a wacky, Looney Tunes-esque tune.)

    THE END

  22. #22
    Man, that was some really really good stuff. Did your sister ever do this play or a version of it?

  23. #23
    The Brain
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    She's staging it with some of her students this summer! I also wrote this one for her, which I actually like even better:

    Go Go Strongest Heroes
    Characters:

    JOHN - So intense. Like you never saw before. A kid with attitude.
    WALT - Enthusiastic but a little unsure. Also a kid.
    DAVE - Ehhhhh, not into it. Definitely a kid.

    AT RISE: WALT is pacing back and forth, excited and a little worried. DAVE is sitting in a chair, messing around on his phone, not listening.

    WALT
    (In mid sentence) -and really Dave, I just can’t believe we were chosen by the Galactic Powers, you know?

    DAVE
    Yup.

    WALT
    I mean, you’d think they’d need more of a resume, you can’t even get hired at McDonald’s without previous experience, but we get picked to save the world!

    DAVE
    Oh yeah, definitely.

    WALT
    Do you think there’s some kind of training program? Will we have to watch, like, cheesy videos? Is there an HR department? (Suddenly struck) Is there a 401k??

    DAVE
    Why not?

    WALT
    And I don’t even know how I’m gonna balance this with my schoolwork. I got a B- in chemistry but now I’m gonna save the world? I mean, I’m way into this, but-

    JOHN (offstage)
    Aw yeah!!

    WALT
    Woah! Something’s up with John!

    DAVE
    (Sigh) Here we go…

    (JOHN charges onstage, bursting with intensity)

    JOHN
    Walt! Dave! It’s on, guys!!

    DAVE
    Oh, joy.

    WALT
    What’s on? What’s going on, man?

    JOHN
    King Nasty has escaped!!

    WALT
    No! Not King Nasty!

    JOHN
    For real man! King Nasty!

    WALT
    King Nasty! The Galactic Powers said he was the worst of the bunch! King Nasty!

    JOHN
    Kiiiiiiiiiiiing Nasty!

    DAVE
    (Snickers quietly, still on his phone) That’s a dumb name.

    JOHN
    (Ignores him) Alright guys, it’s time to use our powers. (Intensity intensifies) It’s time to save the world!

    WALT
    Yeah?

    JOHN
    Oh yeah!!

    WALT
    But we have class-

    JOHN
    If the world gets nastified, there ain’t gonna BE a class anymore!

    DAVE
    (Dryly) Maybe there will be nasty classes.

    JOHN
    (Practically Shouting) Dave!! You gotta get into this thing! It’s all up to us!!

    DAVE
    Yay…

    JOHN
    Are you ready?!?

    DAVE
    (Still on his phone) So ready.

    JOHN
    Are you ready Walt?!?

    WALT
    I think so!!

    JOHN
    Then let’s do it! It’s time! To! Power! Up!!!

    WALT
    Power up!!!

    JOHN
    (A macho shriek) YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!

    (JOHN performs an incredibly complicated “power up” motion, which he has obviously been practicing. WALT tries to follow along, though he has clearly never seen this motion before. This should go on for as long as it’s funny. DAVE alternates between watching in mild amazement and continuing to mess with his phone. The motion finally ends and JOHN lets loose another macho scream, which WALT also tries to match. They both strike a pose that is obviously supposed to have a 3rd member, and shout together. This part WALT knows.)

    WALT & JOHN
    Strongest Heroes powers, activate!

    (A beat as nothing happens, except maybe quiet noises coming from DAVE’s phone. JOHN finally breaks the pose.)

    JOHN
    Dave!!! Come on man, we gotta save the world!

    (DAVE continues to mess with his phone. After a beat, he blows a long, drawn out raspberry. This should go on for a while. Finally, it ends.)

    WALT
    Dave, we-

    (Another, shorter, sharper raspberry cuts him off).

    JOHN
    Dude, you better-

    (And again)

    WALT
    Come on, grow up-

    (And again)

    JOHN
    DAVE!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAN?!?

    WALT
    Yeah seriously, we gotta go use our new powers!

    DAVE
    (Big, dramatic sigh) But I don’t……… want to.

    WALT
    (Waits for JOHN, but he is sputtering and too shocked to speak) Uh, what?

    DAVE
    I don’t feel like it.

    WALT
    The Galactic Powers gives us these amazing abilities… and you don’t want to use them?

    DAVE
    (Shrugs) It just seems like…. A lot of work?

    JOHN
    (Explodes) DUDE!!! I AM GOING TO THROW YOUR PHONE INTO THE SUN!!!

    DAVE
    Man, don’t even joke about that. Have you ever even seen Youtube? Or were you too busy drinking pre-teen protein shakes?

    JOHN
    Don’t mock my shakes!!! Protein makes you a pro teen!!

    DAVE
    That is the worst thing. I have ever heard. In my. Entire. Life.

    WALT
    Ok, seriously man, if we don’t do something, there’s not gonna be anymore Youtube either.

    DAVE
    I feel like… it’ll probably be fine?

    JOHN
    I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!

    DAVE
    It just seems like so much effort. Let somebody else take care of it, you know?

    JOHN
    AAARGH!!!

    (JOHN tries to rush at DAVE, who reacts with mild annoyance at most. WALT holds JOHN back)

    WALT
    Woah, easy big guy! This is what King Nasty wants, probably, I don’t know, I never met the guy, but maybe? Seriously though, just let me talk to him, you go cool off.

    JOHN
    GAH!! (He storms to the back of the stage and starts shadow punching and kicking the air while he mumbles to himself angrily)

    WALT
    Ok man, what is going on with you?

    DAVE
    (Shrugs) Nothing.

    WALT
    Don’t you care what happens to the world?

    DAVE
    (Finally looks away from his phone, annoyed) Of course I care, but do you really think three kids like us can make a difference? This is somebody else’s problem. It’s hard enough being a kid without this stuff. I can’t even go see an R rated movie, and now I’m supposed to go destroy a monster?

    WALT
    Don’t you think we were chosen for a reason though?

    DAVE
    I think we were chosen at random. You said it yourself, apparently the only requirement was having “attitude”.

    WALT
    But… it’s a chance to really do something, isn’t it? To make a difference?

    DAVE
    Ok, but what if we make the wrong difference? We don’t know anything about King Nasty. What if he’s, like, a political prisoner with a really unfortunate name? What if the Galactic Powers are just spreading propaganda, and they want to indoctrinate us into their evil police force or something?

    WALT
    I get it, this situation is way too weird, but still, does that mean doing nothing is the right thing?

    DAVE
    Is it better to get all amped up like mister punch first, kick later, and if there’s time for questions that means you didn’t kick long enough over there?

    WALT
    Well… maybe that why they chose us. Maybe you need people ready to take action, but also people ready to ask questions.

    DAVE
    (Goes back to his phone) Well, I hope you need a person who doesn’t participate, because that’s me.

    JOHN
    (Charges back to the group) Ok buddy, you had your shot, now we’re GOING. (He grabs DAVE’s phone away).

    DAVE
    (Finally gets up, angry) Oh, what?? Man, I don’t care how hopped on adrenaline you are, you better give that back right now.

    JOHN
    Or what? Thanks to you we’re just gonna sit around until we all get coated in nastiness anyway.

    DAVE
    (Starts after JOHN, who circles away from him, keeping either the chair or WALT, who helplessly tries to defuse the situation, between them) You better quit it.

    JOHN
    Oh look, I’m Dave! I don’t wanna do anything, I want to sit here and waste my life!

    DAVE
    You’re the waste, you hyperactive freak!

    JOHN
    I love being lazy more than being alive! The galaxy can just be destroyed, because I’m Dave and I don’t feel like standing up!

    DAVE
    Why don’t you just skip peaking in high school and go straight to anger management classes where you can talk about how you can’t deal with your best days are behind you?

    JOHN
    Our best days could be right now, you dummy, but you want to waste them!

    (DAVE dives past WALT and grabs JOHN. After a brief struggle, JOHN knocks DAVE to the ground hard. A beat.)

    WALT
    Guys, we’ve got to-

    JOHN
    (Ignoring him) You know what? I don’t care. I’ll just do it myself.

    WALT
    But our powers don’t work unless we’re together!

    JOHN
    I don’t care. If we don’t even try, if we let bad stuff happen when we might have been able to stop it, we’re as guilty as anybody.

    WALT
    But our powers-

    JOHN
    So stay here if you want! There are worse things than being powerless. (Starts to leave)

    DAVE
    (Still on the ground, not looking at the others) Maybe it’s good to be powerless.

    JOHN
    (Stops, comes back) What did you say?

    DAVE
    If you’ve got power, everything is… harder. If you have to jump in to something, you could get hurt, or worse. And even if you don’t, what if you do the wrong thing? What if you hurt the wrong person? What if you make things worse instead of better?

    WALT
    (After a silent beat) Maybe… maybe he’s right. We don’t know what we’re doing, and anything could happen out there. We can’t just get thrown into some fight we know nothing about. Maybe it’s actually better to do nothing.

    DAVE
    Yeah, if the Galactic Powers are so great, they can handle it. And if they’re not, that’s not our fault, right?

    WALT
    Maybe it’ll work itself out in the end.

    JOHN
    Ok, I see how it is. We get these amazing talents, and you want to bury them in the ground.

    DAVE
    But what if-

    JOHN
    What if, what if, what if! You could spend your whole life saying what if, and then at the end you’ll say hey, what if I had actually bothered to live?

    WALT
    Man… that’s pretty heavy.

    JOHN
    It’s a heavy time, but that’s easier to do with if you actually try to do some lifting.

    DAVE
    Easy for you-

    JOHN
    I’m not talking about lifting in the gym either. You think you don’t have to work hard on your responsibility too? On doing the right thing? You can’t just sit around and assume it’ll be fine, or you’ll do what you need to do at the last minute. You’ve got to put in effort. You’ve got to step up.

    DAVE
    But… we still don’t know what we’re doing.

    JOHN
    I don’t know if anybody does, Dave. But I know if we don’t try, we’re never going to figure it out.

    WALT
    (Convinced) Man, we gotta at least try, right?

    JOHN
    I don’t know what’s right either. If we jump into this thing and King Nasty is baking us pies and befriending woodland creatures, then maybe we’ll rethink things.

    DAVE
    (Feeling a little better) And if those pies are poison? And he trains those woodland creatures to attack us?

    JOHN
    Then it’s probably time to fight back, right? But if we don’t go, we’ll never know. Sometimes if you don’t know what to do, you’ve got to take the time to actually find out.

    DAVE
    (Takes a minute to consider this) Well…

    JOHN
    Come on man. Let’s find out together. (Reaches out his hand to help DAVE up. DAVE still isn’t sure.)

    WALT
    What’s the worst that could happen?

    DAVE
    We could all die?

    JOHN
    That could happen if we stay here too. Nothing’s guaranteed, but at least we can try to be ready.

    WALT
    And we’ll be more ready if we’re together.

    DAVE
    (Thinks again, then takes JOHN’s hand to get up) Alright. I feel like I’m stepping off a high dive here and I don’t know if there’s water in the pool, but let’s do it.

    WALT
    (Grins) Hey, when we’re powered up, maybe we can fly. Doesn’t matter then if there’s water or not, right?

    JOHN
    Woah, we can fly??

    WALT
    They did give us a manual. You guys didn’t read it?

    DAVE
    I was too nervous.

    JOHN
    I want to be surprised!!

    WALT
    Oh boy. Let’s get going before we all realize how nuts this is.

    JOHN
    (Macho yell, a bit less manic and more genuinely triumphant this time) Let’s do it!!!

    DAVE
    Ok, but without the weird dance number this time?

    JOHN
    Hey man, that’s how I get hyped!!

    DAVE
    The last thing you need is more hype.

    WALT
    He’s got a point, John.

    JOHN
    Fine, fine. Let’s do it! (The all prepare to pose).

    WALT, DAVE, & JOHN
    Strongest Heroes powers, activate!

    (They all pose. Suddenly, DAVE breaks away to grab his phone off the floor.)

    JOHN
    Really?

    DAVE
    Just in case we have downtime! (Rejoins the pose)

    JOHN
    You’ve got to be kidding-

    (Powers activate with a dramatic noise as the lights go down!)

    THE END

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