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  1. #1
    The Brain
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    The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: The Scotsman Cometh (Aug '89)

    Greetings, mizfan fans! Now that the forums are back and better than ever, it seems like a great time to ramp this series into high gear. Last month Heenan shockingly quit his co-hosting duties on both Prime Time and Challenge in favor of presenting his own weekly show, the strange oddity known as the Bobby Heenan Show. An added bonus for Heenan is having more time to focus on managing the champions in his Family, as both Rick Rude and the Brain Busters are now wearing WWF gold! With Summerslam looming the Family will be challenged, but Heenan will do everything he can to keep those titles where they belong. So without further ado, letís get right to it!

    WWF, August Ď89
    Ongoing Heenan Storylines


    Prime Time Wars

    BH: I hate a guy with a big mouth!

    Roddy Piper: You shouldnít hate yourself, Bobby. You should go see a therapist.
    On the August 14th episode of Prime Time, the Bobby Heenan Showís dedicated 30 minute slot was preempted in favor of a special episode previewing Summerslam. In exchange for giving up his time, Heenan was allowed a special role as co-host, videoing in from his private studio in order to interact with Monsoon and Roddy Piper, who was still acting co-host for the regular program.

    Heenan also has special security in place, to make sure neither of them attempt to come over to his studio, which makes him feel very free to antagonize both of them!

    RP: You ever go hunting, Bobby? Nah, you donít do sports.

    BH: No, I donít do stuff like that.

    RP: No, you have somebody spoon feed you.

    BH: YOUíD like to get out there in a blind with a bunch of humanoids, and sit there with a duck call and look up in the sky all day and wonder why you didnít catch anything. Itís cause you didnít throw the dog high enough!
    Heenan spends the episode ripping into Piper for being a poor substitute, and they go back and forth verbally through the whole show.

    BH: I was managing the greatest wrestlers in the world when you were a snot nosed kid waiting outside of dressing room doors!

    RP: Oh, was I asking my mommy to get me Bobby Heenanís autograph?

    BH: Yes, and that was last Thursday!
    Piper is so wild some of his comebacks barely make sense, but you really have to appreciate the energy between two of the best promo guys of all time.

    BH: Youíre just a retired person now, an average person who gets his hands dirty washing the dishes for your old lady.

    RP: Oh yeah, I do the dishes once in a while, I throw Ďem against the wall, thatís how I do Ďem!

    BH: That figures.
    Piper is very threatening towards Heenan at the end, which makes him nervous in spite of his security.

    RP: Iíd like to have it out with Bobby Heenan, but Iíll make it fair, Iíll tie my hands.

    BH: You should tie your hands and gag your mouth!

    RP: You still wouldnít stand a chance!

    BH: Enjoy yourself, no one else does.

    The look on Heenanís face is priceless when he realizes what Piperís doing.

    Since the episode went well, at least from an audience interest perspective, it was decided to continue the format with Heenan in his own studio, contributing to the two main hosts.

    RP: If you had to pick a date, Bobby, between Sherri and Elizabeth, who would you take?

    BH: Is there any comparison? Iíd take my centerfold, Sensational Sherri. Who would you take?

    RP: Well, depends on how drunk I was I guess!

    BH: You must have to get your dates drunk, I donít know many girls who want to go out with another girl in a skirt!
    The next week he has Rick Rude along with him, just in case Roddy Piper tries to come over and make good on this threats.

    BH: I understand youíre very proud of your Scottish heritage, but you shouldnít walk around wearing old bagpipes as a skirt.

    RP: First of all, itís called a kilt!

    BH: Itís a SKIRT!

    RP: Itís a KILT, mister!

    BH: Itís a short dress!

    RP: Itís a kilt, you piece of garbage!!
    Rudeís presence just escalates the tension, of course, and Rude and Piper get into some very heated verbal exchanges!

    Rick Rude: Listen buddy, if I wanted to Iíd kick in the back door of your house, bust your Doberman in the mouth, plop down at your kitchen table, have your old lady cook me up a nice T-bone steak, and sheíd like it too and there wouldnít be one thing you could do about it. And whatís really getting to you is you know Iím telling the truth!

    RP: Well then, why donít you come aíknocking?

    RR: Maybe I just will.

    BH: I doubt his old lady can cook anyway.
    Both guys end up so mad they leave their respective studios to look for a fight.

    RP: You just stay right where you are Rick Rudd, Iím coming for you.

    BH: Piper-

    RP: If you say one more word Iím gonna drown you!!
    They both end up on the main Prime Time set and Heenan follows them over, and the whole crew ends up having to pull these two guys apart! Rude and Piper get cleared out, and Heenan and Monsoon reunite (under testy conditions) to close out Prime Time on the main set, just like old times.

    GM: Where is Rick Rude?

    BH: Heís resting in his own private dressing room.

    GM: Heís in his own private world!
    Heenan says Piper has been thrown out of the studio for his behavior, and gloats about the outcome, though Monsoon is disgusted as his role in instigating the trouble.


    Was legitimately afraid Monsoon would get hurt again.

    Sadly, the Bobby Heenan show has officially ended its run as a result of this, but weíll talk all about the fallout in the coming months. I will say, Iím excited to see more Heenan/Piper interactions, though Iím not sure if the idea of a Piper vs. Rude has tickled my fancy or not.

    GM: You instigated all of this!

    BH: Well, you didnít control Piper any easier!

    GM: I should have to control my co-host? Could I ever control you?!?

    BH: Well, I never did anything wrong.

    Muscles Will Out

    BH: When weíre done with you, Warrior, you wonít have to paint your face, because youíll have one black eye and one blue one!
    The Rude/Warrior feud has been in the background since Wrestlemania, but as Summerslam approaches things start to ramp up again. On the August 26th episode of Superstars Warrior is carrying a defeated jobber over his shoulder as he heads to the back (for some reason?), when Heenan shows up and confronts him in the aisle. Dropping the innocent jobber like a pile of garbage, Warrior is ready to take Heenan out there and then, but Andre ambushes him and violently chokes Warrior! Always good to see the Family backing each other up.

    Rick Rude (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Ultimate Warrior, WWF Intercontinental Championship 8/28/89 WWF Summerslam

    BH: Weíll just see if Ultimate Warrior is really a tough guy.

    RP: How would you know anything about tough guys?

    BH: I know a lot about a lot of things!

    RP: Sweaty Betty, did she teach you?

    BH: I donít know any of your friends.
    Iíve heard from many sources that the Warrior/Rude matches are surprisingly fun, and up until this point itís been a big fat lie. I canít deny though, for the first time I actually had a pretty good time with this match. Itís clear Pat Patterson is all but leading Warrior by the hand at times, having mapped the match out to the smallest detail, but with a guy like Warrior thatís pretty much they key I think. Rude bumps nicely and Warrior doesnít mess anything up too badly, so you get a match that could actually be called good, not something you see much from the Warrior. Props to WWF for putting this together in the best possible way they could. The finish is Piper coming down to ringside to confront Rude because of his behavior on Prime Time. Rude tries to stay focused but loses it when Piper lifts up his kilt and moons(!!) him! Warrior is quick to capitalize on this cheap distraction and regains the Intercontinental title. Ah well, it was a good run RudeÖ I mean, you didnít defend the title much or have especially good matches mostly, but you looked good with the belt!

    Awesomeness Rating: ***Ĺ

    After the match Heenan and Rude show up backstage with Gene Okerlund, with Heenan absolutely blowing a gasket about what happened. The Brain demands the match be restarted right away, but it falls on deaf ears. So long, IC title, see you again when Mr Perfect finally joins up.


    Dream Match (But No Titles For You)

    Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Bret Hart & Jim Neidhart 8/28/89 WWF Summerslam

    RP: Letís watch these tag titles change hands, and you can tell me how fair and square it was.

    BH: Iíd be glad to, and Iíd like you to remember those three words, fair and square!

    RP: Oh good, you can count!
    This match went down at Summerslam and I just have to say, it was just spectacular. The Busters are the best in the world, thereís no doubt about that, but the Harts showed me more here than at any point in the series to date. Iíve come to think theyíre a little overrated as a team but if they have more matches like this that I missed, then they deserve more credit that Iíve given them. Everything was just unbelievably on point, every movement was flat out perfect, and the crowd was in the palm of their hands. Heenan has managed to ensure the titles are not on the line here but heís still desperate for a victory, and in the end Heenan distracts the ref while Arn clobbers Bret in the head while heís getting a visual 3 count on Tully, which allow the champs to get the dominant win.

    This match is seriously so great, itís one of the most fun in ring experiences Iíve had in this whole series. If youíve overlooked this match, I strongly suggest you fire up the Network and give it a look!

    Awesomeness Rating: *****


    A Giant Trio

    Andre the Giant, Big Bossman, & Akeem (w/Bobby Heenan & Slick) vs. Ax, Smash, & Jim Duggan 8/28/89 WWF Summerslam

    Andre is kind of an afterthought here in terms of the build up, but thereís no denying itís an awesome sight visually to see him up there with Bossman and Akeem. Thatís a ridiculous amount of humanity on one team. As a side note, Duggan comes out wearing American flag face paint, and Ventura says there should be a constitutional amendment to prevent him from disrespecting the flag that way. Amen Jesse, the flag shouldnít have to be plastered in such an ugly place. Andre isnít terribly active in this but he gets a few good shots in. Hard to have a particularly good match with Duggan weighing things down with pointless shouting and mugging nonstop, but this was overall an ok bout. Demolition pins Akeem after Duggan smacks him with the 2x4, because Duggan is a shameless cheater.

    Awesomeness Rating: **Ĺ


    Island Haircuts

    Haku (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Brutus Beefcake 8/9/89 WWF

    It really makes me sad that Haku has basically become a glorified jobber. He canít even make it on the Summerslam card, despite being one of the best workers in the company. Instead heís stuck selling Beefcakeís lousy offense, and believe me, it is very lousy. Haku tries in this match, but what can you do? Heenan runs in and mercifully the DQ is called. Beefcake threatens both guys with the huge clippers after the match, because attempted murder is always a good reaction to a DQ, and the heels bail

    Awesomeness Rating: *ľ


    The Bobby Heenan Show Series Finale



    ďSuaveĒ Bobby Heenan

    Heather Hunter: I think Jameson is cute, I like his curls.

    BH: Your hair would be curly too, if you didnít wash it in six years.
    Before the Heenan Show is officially ended in favor of bringing the Brain back to the regular Prime Time segments, we do get one last episode of weirdness to finish things out. In what would turn out to be the final week, Heenan has on an incredibly charming painter with a thick European accent. His name is Morris Katz, I looked him up and he seems like a super cool guy who specializes in making art in record time using unusual materials. He starts making some art right there on the show! Heenanís next guest is an actress of some kind. She is Heather Hunter, and turns out sheís an adult film star!! They tip toe around this fact, of course. She seems like a very nice and interesting person, and I guess later on she had a music career too. Good for her. Jameson clues Heenan in to what she does for work and he gets very flustered. Meanwhile, Katz has painted some genuinely cool stuff!! Hunter dances and sheís pretty good at that too. Man, this is far and away the best Heenan Show in terms of actually having interesting guests. His last guest is a woman who can blow ďsmoke bubblesĒ, but it doesnít seem to quite come off right. Oh well, it was a fun ride while it lasted!

    Smoke Blower: Ok, Iím gonna blow some smoke bubbles for you.

    Jameson: Iím allergic to smoke.

    BH: Good!

    Are weÖ are we still a PG show?

    Once again things have changed a lot for Heenan in just one short month! His solo run is over on Prime Time but thatís alright, heís often at his best with someone to play off of anyway. Rude has lost the IC title but heís transitioned into a heated feud with Piper which should provide some highly entertaining segments and some good matches (maybe). The Brain Busters are on their best role yet though, and Andre and Haku are ready to mix it up wherever Bobby needs them. Iíve no doubt things will continue to escalate as the Summer winds down and we head towards Survivor Series, and itís gonna be another great ride!

    Thatís it for today, humanoids. Iíll be back soon with the next entry, until then donít let the ham-and-eggers get you down, and stay awesome!

  2. #2
    Junior Member
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    Oh my!

    This is a great article written, always love going back to review Bobby's time in the business. The Bobby Heenan show was a great idea on paper, and might have actually done really well. But Monsoon and Bobby was just too good to keep apart for long. I loved those two together.

  3. #3
    The Brain
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    LWO!! Great to hear from you, rook. The Heenan Show was a very fun, weird experiment, but it was too disconnected from everyone else to last. I do love that it establishes yet another weird piece of the Heenan character though, and we even get Jameson as a recurring character later down the line! Heenan's weird entourage is great, I love meeting these bizarre people. I just realized he no longer talks about his never-seen secretary, Miss Betty, anymore, and that made me a bit sad. Heenan/Monsoon is one of the greatest partnerships ever though, no doubt about that!

  4. #4
    Bobby really was getting the best of Piper in those excerpts. Loved the exchange with Rude talking about busting in Piper's house..And Bobby ended well with the old lady comment.

    The eye candy distractions on summerslam have really dwindled as its gone from Liz pulling her dress off to Piper lifting his up.

    You really have discovered some hidden gems with these Busters. Gonna definitely watch that match sometime.

  5. #5
    I like how naturally and non-shoehorned Heenan's return to Prime Time is. The heated exchange between Rude, Piper etc, reuniting all parties is clever stuff.

    One thing that has only become apparent to me now is this. The back biting and infighting between BH and GM is not too dissimilar at all to the petty jibes and insults that are thrown between the commentary teams of today's WWE. Yet the current product gets criticised for it.

    Am I missing something? Is it that the insults were wittier back then? Or were the acting chops of the callers from yesteryear just better?

    I'd be interested in all you readers' opinion on this.
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  6. #6
    The Brain
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    Follow up F2F, thanks to you lovely people who stopped by!

    Benny, that line comparing Piper and Liz is a thing of beauty. You should be damn proud of that one! Watching Brain Busters matches is always a good choice!

    Clive, love the question, and I think I know the answer (or at least, I have an idea). The chemistry between Heenan and Monsoon comes is so natural, and there's very little direction from people backstage as they do their thing. It's easy, it's organic, and of course it helps that Heenan is perhaps the best of all time at blending comedy into commentary. What you see nowadays is a pre-processed, pre-produced imitation of the classic formula, with lines and jokes fed through headsets, and no real chemistry on display. When Heenan left the WWF, he and Monsoon went back to their hotel alone and cried together. Can you imagine Corey Graves doing that with Byron Saxton? The kind of connection these guys had is special, and I feel like the modern WWE environment doesn't encourage the same kind of thing. So you get the attempted jokes, but none of the warmth and spontaneity. Just my own theory! Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

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