 |
-
Cero Miedo
The CF Underworld: Yo Adrian!
I head
down.
Shocked beyond belief
that this place—
The CF Underworld—
has opened to me again.
“Shit. This place is a lot like Narnia.
The older you get
the more difficult it becomes
to get back in.”
Folks don’t know
how many times
I’ve tried
to come back to this place
beneath the CF.
This Underworld where I
searched for my soul
and maybe,
at other times,
sold my soul.
I’m not really sure,
after one sells his soul,
if he can ever get it back.
Is that real enough
entry
back into this place?
If the Underworld requires
blood
or
sacrifice
or
loss
or
admission,
is that enough?
I’ve spent five years living low
in the earth element dirt
that I sunk my feet into.
And every time I’ve tried to come back here
to right some sort of wrong,
I’ve felt like goddamn Lucy,
showing Narnia to her siblings
and seeing nothing but the cold-ass
back
of a wardrobe wall.
And how is it,
that I come back here,
to bare my soul,
(if one can bare a soul
that he sold so long ago)
and rather than stripping
down
this godforsaken Underworld
has me layering up.
For, the moment I came down here,
I saw something I’ve not seen for some
twenty-plus years.
I see an Indiana Pacers jacket
that I fought so hard to acquire.
I was maybe in junior high
and my favorite NBA player
was Reggie Miller.
And, goddamn, how do I even explain this?
To have that jacket,
would be like
the kid in the grade higher than me
who I looked up to.
He had jackets like that.
And the best shoes,
and the best hats,
and the best clothes.
He would make fun of me,
because I’d come back
in a new school year
with the same old K-Mart clothes
from the year before.
And when we started getting wrestling PPVs,
making fun of me,
turned to tormenting me.
How could we have money
enough for PPV
but not for decent clothes.
(He didn’t know
the same mom
who bought us PPV,
even without the PPV,
would not buy us clothes.
She wanted us at home,
separated from the world,
and PPV was the price she paid
to keep us in that homemade cage.)
But something happened in junior high:
I became more popular.
And imagination?
It’s not so popular.
Isolation?
It’s not so popular.
Interiority?
It’s not so popular.
Popularity resides
squarely
in the material world.
Popularity resides
squarely
in the visual.
Popularity resides
squarely
in the external.
And if I could simply
get this Pacer jacket,
I could wrap it around me,
as evidence—
material, visual, external—
that the popularity that I now felt
would continue around me
to surround me
for good.
And goddammit
I fought for that jacket.
And goddammit
I got that jacket.
And goddammit
I lost that jacket
at either a Nitro
or Fall Brawl event.
(It’s cold in this Underworld as I tell this story.
Suddenly I feel like I need a jacket again.)
Here’s the thing, though.
I am the most careful person in the world.
I double and triple check
everything.
So how could it be
that a jacket
that I had to fight for,
that symbolized so much,
that was representation
that I was finally popular,
that I was more than imagination,
isolation, an interiority,
could so easily be lost
and left behind?
Perhaps, it’s this:
that jacket represented a me
that was never truly Me.
That jacket represented
seeing with my physical eye
when, prior, all I ever saw with
was an eye made for imagination.
That jacket represented a popularity
that would end up gone
almost as fast
as the jacket itself.
You might say,
in a postmodern world,
of endless options,
how can I say one me
was not the real me
and another Me
was the real Me?
I’d put it like this.
One me tended towards the things
I couldn’t keep up.
I’ve never cared too much,
paid too much attention,
to the physical world.
I used to be a man of imagination.
By god, I used to be
…a mystic.
One me was a me
I could never keep up.
And the other Me
is the Me
I always was
in default mode.
That Me was the Me
who spent every hour
after school
playing wrestling,
making up wrestlers,
exploring imagination,
riding the power of affect,
and felt sense,
to tell stories
that could bring a grown man
to tears.
That Me was sometimes lonely
for the external world,
but that Me
always had Me
always was Me
as long as he privileged
the world invisible.
I’m walking holes in the underworld now.
I’m walking circles,
pacing,
thinking,
about another man,
and another jacket.
And how is it
that the dead
stand before me
in this underworld?
And how can I recognize a person,
I’ve only seen in video,
when his spirit
stands in front of me?
I can only explain it like this:
when a man has swagger
like Adrian Adonis has swagger
and moves so smooth
that
Michaels and Hennig
are asking
him
to teach
them
how to
bump,
one can recognize that swag
in a spirt passed on.
Adrian is watching me,
but I’m not sure he can talk to me.
Adrian is watching me,
and I think it’s my time
to tell his story.
Adrian is watching me,
so I will nervously tell you
about how I’ve been watching
Adrian.
(Living Adrian, that is.
Not this spirit
that watches me now.)
I’ve been watching his work
in WWF
for the podcast
WWF: The Legacy Series.
And Adrian Adonis
has so impressed me
with his graceful moves
and his graceful mic work
and how every intention
seems so,
well,
intentional,
that we recently did a special
on Adrian Adonis.
(He’s still watching,
circling me. I guess
I’ll keep talking.)
I didn’t realize the deep relationship
Adrian Adonis shared
with Roddy Piper.
And now I’m watching Piper’s Pit,
from 1-11-1986
and Vince McMahon
has taken the man
Adrian Adonis
and stripped him
of his leather jacket
to put bows in his hair
and make him
“Adorable”
Adrian.
Needless to say,
the gimmick wouldn’t fly today,
and some say it’s homophobic
through-and-through.
Others say Adrian
took a gimmick he didn’t want
and made the best of it,
made the most of it,
treated it with more respect,
at times,
than one would have guessed
in 1986.
But Adrian had a coming out
(more like a Vince McMahon
pushing out)
on that January day.
It started with his manager,
Jimmy Hart,
running out on Piper’s Pit.
Piper and Orton-Not-Randy
are celebrating themselves
but Jimmy declares:
“Big surprises….
Stepping out
from behind your little set, baby,
is the Adorable Adrian Adonis.
The new Adrian Adonis, baby.”
“The new Adrian?” repeats Piper.
“I know the old Adrian,” says Piper, as if to himself.
And here comes the new
Adrian
not yet prancing,
and dancing,
and flaunting himself.
In fact,
he comes out
walking
kind of stiff
a leather jacket folded
in his arms,
as if to separate
who he has been
from who he is about
to be
required
to become.
Ever the journalist,
after sitting Adrian down,
Piper says, “You, uh,
you got bows in your hair.”
And here goes Adrian,
although stiff,
as soon as he speaks,
the flamboyance flows.
(Flamboyant as the spirit
that floats around me,
still allowing me to speak,
still offering nothing in return.)
“Let me tell you something,”
says 86-Adonis,
“I’ve been rough and tough
and mean all my life.
And I can wear
exactly what I want.
I did jump out of the closet
and there was no brooms
behind me.”
Now, of course,
Piper responds:
“You jumped out of the closet?”
“Definitely so. You understand
I am from
New York City.
I can do
exactly
what I want.
I feel so much
like Adrian Adonis,
with all this
in my hair.
This splendor.
This charisma.
And these
beautiful
colors.”
And Piper asks, rather practically,
“You wear that with your leather jacket?”
“The leather jacket
is going to be retired.
This is a hall of famer.”
As he says these words,
Adrian passes the jacket
into the arms of Roddy Piper,
and this is a transition
greater
wider
with reaching implications
all the way
to a couple of years
before Roddy Piper
passes away.
But we aren’t there yet.
Piper says, “Can I have it!?”
And when Adrian says yes,
Piper says, “I love you.
Thank you.”
And standing with Adrian,
Piper continues to Adrian,
“You are lovely.”
What a moment
in time.
To sit back
and watch
two men
who could literally
shine shit
shining it
for Vince.
Vince is trying to do
a gay gimmick
with a straight man
because he’s Vince McMahon,
and here’s two guys,
who legit love each other
but that is lost
on Vince McMahon.
Maybe it’s their matching
charisma.
Maybe it's
knowing you and your friend
can do it better
than most others who try.
Maybe it’s a bond
that came outside the business.
But Piper was a kid
who never got to be
a kid.
And Adrian gave him advice…
Wait.
The spirit circles.
Are you displeased?
I ask,
but I still don’t know
if spirit Adrian
can even respond.
So,
let me continue,
“I don’t know why I’m in the underworld.
I don’t know why it’s been so long
since I’ve been let in.
I don’t know why,
when I’m finally let back in,
when I want to talk about
selling my soul
and needing desperately
to get it back,
instead,
the underworld has me talking
about the Pacers
and Piper’s pit
and jackets
made of friendship
and jackets
made of leather.
I also don’t know why
in a promo that began a gimmick
that you yourself did not want to do,
you said that you feel so much
like Adrian.
Did you?
Do you?
I…
“Listen,”
says the spirit of Adonis,
and he bucks up his spirit chest
like he used to do his Dusty-Rhodes-looking upper body.
“You know these answers, Mystic.
At least, the you you were before you ceased to be you
would.”
I am rocked back
by the spirit
and its response.
I offer a weak,
Maybe so…
But, Adrian,
I continue.
I can’t quite put it together.
Not yet.
“Oh, really?”
Really.
“Really?”
Really.
I mean,
I think,
really.
“Funny, Mystic.
Because this is not the only underworld
where I’ve appeared before a living man.
I happen to know that you know
what happened to Roddy and I.
I happen to know that you wrote about it,
and you cried over your own notes.
Don’t tell me that’s not a man
whose at ends meet with himself.
If you won’t get the message,
you used-to-be Mystic,
let me spell it out for you.
I gave away my jacket,
as I gave away myself.
And just because you had twenty-plus years
between junior high
and that day in the CF
where you ceased to fly,
built your life in earth dirt,
doesn’t mean that
you didn’t once give away a jacket,
and sure as shit,
you are right,
five years ago,
you gave away your soul.”
I want to say…something,
but he continues.
“You can come back for round two
or you can walk away lost.
At your age,
it’s really nobody’s
loss.
But take it from a man
who died at 33.
If someone would tap Adrian on the shoulder
and say, ‘Next man up.’
You can bet
you would find me
wherever I could go
to find that reunion
between man and his soul.”
-
I knew this weighed on your mind, but I didn't expect that weight to drop you back into the Underworld after so much time away. Such is the power of TLS, of unexpected treasures unearthed, eh? The story of Adonis hurts in a way that the old hurts aren't capable anymore, because 30+ years on it's all fresh for us. That bit about the jacket really got me, when we talked about it on air and then all over again with more details added here. The fact that he wore that jacket for pretty much the rest of his life is a huge testament, and he even passed it (or it's close cousin) onto to Ronda Rousey, so the legacy of Adonis lives on in a very real way. Hall of fame worthy indeed.
I dug up this comment on Adonis from days past in the Heenan series:
Watching back the guy looks like a goddam crusader for gay rights. If you want to turn it even more on it’s head, you could argue he’s even more progressive because he shows you can be both proudly gay and a jerk, separately. I feel like Adonis is quietly becoming a very layered character, even if the crux of the angle remains the ugly “boo this man because he’s gay and cross-dresses”, though did I not perhaps hear some cheers mixed in with that TNT crowd?
I don't know exactly what I think of that thought now, but I think there's at least a kernel of truth in it. He owned the gimmick so fearlessly. It's going to be hard to say goodbye to the guy all too soon, I know that for sure.
-
Cero Miedo
Thanks for the feedback. I didn't want to get too deep on that issue, because there is always someone to come along and say that whatever given isn't good enough, and I don't feel like having that conversation. I will say, though, towards the quote you provided: I think that is damn astute. I agree completely with this: "Watching back the guy looks like a goddam crusader for gay rights. If you want to turn it even more on it’s head, you could argue he’s even more progressive because he shows you can be both proudly gay and a jerk, separately. I feel like Adonis is quietly becoming a very layered character..." I wonder if part of it was that he was a professional and just did his job to the best of his abilities. I wonder if part of it was he cared about not portraying the subject matter (whether out of respect for himself or the gay community) in a bad light. Sadly, I also wonder if he believed, as is speculated, that if he did what Vince asked, and did it to the best of his ability, he would later be rewarded by being able to be who he was and wanted to be. We know the last part would never come true and, sadly, even if indirectly, that is part of what will send him on the road to passing away at 33.
The Rousey comment matters. This series will demonstrate that Adonis has lived on with the people who knew him. If we don't know him or don't want to know him or only wait until WWE hof narratives to know someone, that shame is on us. I seek to bring out how much this man has done, in his life and death, without ever having the benefit of the WWE machine on his side.
Imagination + creativity + courage to execute.
Something like that.
It lives on.
I'm starting to think the person who births it into the world may well pay a negative price for it, as it's almost always outside of popular narrative.
But to make a mark.
To love and be loved.
To inspire and change lives.
Adonis did it.
in 33 years.
and after.
Last edited by Mystic; 06-28-2018 at 09:52 PM.
-
Man, enjoyed the writing of this from start to finish. Your own personal story really led into the story of a man and his clothes, a man and the way the world perceives him, a man and his pride. As for what connected Piper and Adrian I believe it's what connects me to my friends: pride in their work and their enjoyment of their vices.
Adrian was a proud man. I believe when he had that gimmick, he felt he had the best personality on the show.
And how about 1986 for fucking good story-telling. How about the way Adrian gave up that jacket before putting on the dress. Good shit! Same year as Orndorf/Hogan and Savage/George Steele. Man, what a fucking good year for story-telling!
-
Cero Miedo
Man, the impression I got, too: "Adrian was a proud man." There is something about this that inspires me. He's not looking for anyone to do it for him, he is making the best of his situation. Yet, sadly, it never amounts to what I truly believe he saw and visualized, which is himself as a world champion.
Agree about the storytelling. This coming week, mizfan and I will be getting into the Orndorff/Hogan feud. It's a great time, with many great legacies.
thanks for feeding.
-
Member #25
Mate, I have never heard of this story or segment before but I really want to search it out now it sounds like they almost took it as a challenge to get this absurd, boderline offensive gimmick Adrian was handed over. Of course Vince didn't pitch or create it that way but by the way you wrote it the character seems to be well before its time in the mainstream media.
Also the way you write is so raw and emotive, it takes a little getting used to the formatting and stream of conscious style but once I got into it I was hooked. As someone who has only read these two of your pieces I really hope I get to experience some more.

@Sir_Samuel
-
Cero Miedo
Sam,
Thank you for your comments. This writing can definitely take some getting used to. Thank you for working through that. If real life allows this series to take place, I hope you will find it's worth it at the end.
here is the video I covered:
Here is one where Adrian comes out as gay. Which is staggering, in that, 10 years later, WWF will go the opposite way with Goldust, who will eventually say he's not gay, that he's only behaving like that for psychological gain.
-
That second video is the one that prompted my Heenan series comments on Adrian. I like that he owns it. It's bolder than the Goldust thing, and though both have their ugly side, it somehow seems less problematic to simply go full bore. He really seems to be saying, I'm gay and if you have a problem with that, it's your problem.
-
Cero Miedo
I think my brother sent me that video long before we were doing WWF: TLS. Definitely far and away bolder than Goldust.
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
-
Forum Rules
|
 |