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  1. #1

    Taste My Rainbow ~ I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One


    I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One








    Welcome back to the column that'd be pushing up daisies by now if there weren't so many young minds in need of deflowering - Taste My Rainbow.



    According to my math, it's been 6+ months since yours truly posted that farewell column on the MP which means I̶'̶m̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶e̶l̶i̶g̶i̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶w̶i̶n̶ ̶C̶O̶T̶M̶ ̶a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶ vacation time is over! And although JCool's articles served as required reading during said absence, I'm in desperate need of a refresher course which is why we're here today. The need to air my grievances has become too great and what better place to vent them than here? Apologies in advance for the hot air I'm about to blow your way but recent going-ons have me all huffed up. This could've just as easily been titled How Much Can I Complain About Until Mizfan's Head Explodes but why play mind games when mine's currently racing too fast to fire on the right cylinders? I mean shit, how else do you explain me only watching part of TakeOver: Brooklyn 4 but SummerSlam in its' entirety? Speaking of which, let's piledrive into my first problem...



    ___________________________________




    Biggest Tardy of the Summer


    WWE Logic: Alright we've pushed Lashley as this unstoppable powerhouse since early April. Now let's have him pin Reigns at Extreme Rules with the spear of all moves to set up Bobby versus Brock at SummerSlam! Whoops wait - that shouldn't have happened. See we screwed the pooch as the Big Dog's next in line to hold the title so he'll need to get that win back on RAW to rectify things. Yeah we'll build towards a triple threat instead! Ah on second thought, we're just gonna run Reigns/Lesnar again but we'll definitely find you a spot on the show somewhere, Lashley! Actually just take the night off and we'll figure it out tomorrow(ish).


    What a chain of duh-vents. And I don't even care for the dude but nonsense like that has to be worrying if you're a newcomer or returning talent. Perhaps I'm blind but Lashley/Lesnar appeared to be on the table... Then I blinked and the company had couched Bobby, showed Brock the door and swept their potential match under the rug to make ample room for Reigns. Vince has been making said arrangements for ages so Roman's current situation only comes as a shock if you were doubting whether VKM would ever fully throw the lever. I just don't understand involving Lashley in the first place unless they intend on running him against Brock at some point down the road.


    However it plays out, I'm sure the ensuing match will be shorter than this section. My interest lies more in where they go with Lashley from here because he couldn't be given any less direction creatively. I caught glimpses of Bobby in TNA and the guy had never looked or sounded better. Right now he's basically one step away from treading into Apollo Crews territory. So what's holding Choc Lesnar back? Well we're just beginning to scratch the surface but I can't be the only person wondering if Lashley suffers from alopeshia. Not having to manscape has gotta be a major perk for a pro wrestler sure. Can you be a mane attraction in the entertainment business though if you aren't sporting any face fuzz? Doubtful. This rough patch will likely continue for Bobby but hey at the very least, his lack of eyebrows make him a hair more interesting than Lesnar.

    Last edited by SkitZ; 08-28-2018 at 09:28 PM.

  2. #2
    The Brain
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    Oh, you tease! I was fully prepared for a rainbow of topics, haha. Personally I'm a fan of Lashley so WWE's handling of him has sounded very strange to me, from this "sisters" to this Reigns/Lesnar baloney. I know some people really dislike the guy but even those people can't be too satisfied with the goofiness he's been involved in. Welcome back man, looking forward to more of this!

  3. #3
    Forgotten Ponder
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    god dammit Terry Funk, stay retired!
    Twitter - @Sooper_Hoody


  4. #4
    Mizfit: Haha hang in there, homie! I promise to stick around... at least until this series is done. The sisters storyline reeked so bad of WrestleCrap that I avoided it completely. I'm not as anti-Lashley as some however and feel like there's potential with him should WWE choose to capitalize on it. Bobby's initial run with the company wasn't much to brag about but man did I love his match against Cena at Great American Bash '07. If he faces Lesnar in the future, what do you reckon the chances are that it's any good?


    Randall: You stopped DMing me on Twitter so I got lonely.






    I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One








    Setting The Bar Real Low


    Cesaro & Sheamus dominated RAW's tag division in 2017 and looked poised to put on a special performance at WM34 until they collided with Strowman and that Make-a-Wish kid (I frankly would've preferred a proper handicap match). Between them getting squashed by Braun and reduced to backstage segments on SmackDown Live, I daresay The Bar's become the new Breezango. How does a duo clicking so well get taken off TV altogether? Why have the last five months of their careers felt like political punishment? Is there any rational explanation for Road Dogg turning the blue brand into Topsy-Turvey World!?


    I expected a rollercoaster of awesome matches when Sheasaro were traded to SDL in the Superstar Shakeup but it's been a complete letdown aside from their tournament final against New Day a few weeks ago. What's with The Bar suddenly sweating it out to see if they land a live segment? Cesaro & Sheamus should be headlining shows as reigning champions; not confined to Celtic Warrior Workout videos. While a part of me is happy for the opportunity the Bludgeon Bros received, their recent run with the straps should've come four years ago. You and I both know Harper deserves to be operating on his own at this stage anyway. The bearded behemoth has serious potential as a singles star and proved his worth early last year before management robbed him of a Mania payday. Perhaps Harper will receive another crack as a solo act now that Rowan's injured? It's a sad state of affairs when a team as physically capable as The Bar are in need of a similar break to reassert themselves in the pecking order.


    Interestingly enough, The Usos appear to be suffering the same fate after also enjoying a super successful 2017. It's as if company officials said "Okay you two have enjoyed the limelight enough lately. Now ride the bench while we give some of these other guys a go and we'll reconvene in 12 months." To hell with that. I say you roll with the hot hand until the wheels fall off. Cesaro & Sheamus don't need any direction from the doofs in the suits to tell a decent story in the ring. Just feature these fellas for fuck's sake!

    Last edited by SkitZ; 08-29-2018 at 08:30 AM.

  5. #5
    Member #25 SirSam's Avatar
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    Heck yeah! I knew you'd come back eventually.

    Did you hear we are recruiting for the main page

    As for these guys well I can't help but scratch my head at what happened to the main roster tag divisions, they were running hot on both shows and the shake up only seemed to bolster the ranks of each division but both just completely fell off a cliff. Good on sheens and Cesaro for staying relevant with the YouTube show, certainly more than any other team has done.

    Thankfully it looks like we are coming out of the cloud, maybe the final months of the year will pick things up. I can only say thank goodness for nxt for maintaining the faith.

  6. #6
    Forgotten Ponder
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    Ah the joys of me being banned twice/thrice on Twitter (so far). Don't worry, I'll slide right back in later....

    Rowan has been injured so many times now they should just give up and give Harper that singles push. As for The Bra, I love those guys (side note, rechecking this before I post and noticed the Bar misspell but I'm keeping it) and I wish they were featured more. I never been a fan of The New Day (I still want my Big E push dammit) and The Bar could easily fit in as the team having barnburners with everyone else. Maybe it's because they're not as marketable as New Day? Sheamus is a former champion of nearly everything and Cesaro is nothing to be sniffed at. Maybe this latest mini tournament will be the start of things for them....
    Twitter - @Sooper_Hoody


  7. #7
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    I still say that whole Nicholas thing could have been done to WWE's advantage. Genuinely pick a kid from the audience. Have Strowman dominate, and pick a different kid every show.

    He becomes the new Hogan, the guy Vince has wanted all along.
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  8. #8
    Samuel: You better believe I saw Doc's Main Page Callup post! Shortly afterwards, I messaged Chad on Facebook and he pretty much gave me the polite brush off haha. He probably thinks I'm too streaky of a writer and really who can fault him for that when it's a stone cold fact? The CF is more my speed nowadays. No commitment or deadlines, I can come and go as I please without others depending on me, etc. Not to mention business picked up around here over the summer! This series is mainly a mental exercise to knock the rust off.


    Randall: I'm actually quite surprised Calvin never banned me from the MP for my various shenanigans over the years (it's going on the bucket list now). Also, I assumed The Bra was a cute nickname you gave Cesaro & Sheamus for some reason. They're nowhere near as marketable as the New Day but few teams in WWE are at the moment. Regardless, workhorses such as The Bar should be showcased on a consistent basis IN THE RING; not passing around fuckin' pancakes in the locker room.






    I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One








    NXT's Turned Sunday Night Wrestling Into a Chore


    It's as if Hunter himself patted me on the ass and said "I know you're burdened with sitting through a 7-hour marathon tomorrow so we'll shorten our broadcast to make that shit more tolerable". A kind gesture no doubt but fans are still better off feasting on the fruit of Triple H's labor and then just cherrypicking matches from Sunday's megashow to watch at their own convenience. See that's the key to NXT's success; it's as convenient as a gas station. Their weekly episodes are often pretty blah action-wise but the characters and feuds are always advancing whereas RAW and SmackDown's are constantly stuck in holding patterns. At worst, you've wasted an hour of your week instead of five. Imagine how much Rick and Morty you could've binged watched within that timeframe!


    The same applies to WWE's network specials. TakeOver delivers the goods without fail while the main roster struggles to produce anything fresh. Plus once you've satiated those taste buds, who's got the stomach to intake a dozen extra helpings right after? Oh who am I kidding... we're all gluttons! Personally I would've rated SummerSlam around a 60% on Rotten Tomatoes but noticed various LOPers eating up the opener between Rollins and Ziggler. People were throwing out praise like "midcard classic" and "MOTY candidate" which perplexed me since it barely registered on my Mark-a-Meter. Folks were seriously over the moon for that match and yet I didn't think it eclipsed any of the five bouts from Brooklyn 4. Dolph and Seth have been battling for a few months so I went in expecting a rapid fire performance; not resthold-resthold-reshold. It killed my buzz right off the bat. Undisputed Era, Bate & Seven on the other hand pitched a near perfect outing the night prior and it spiked my adrenaline like a Mountain Dew energy drink.


    Maybe the issue here is that I need to stop comparing one to the other? Pfffft fat chance. The main roster should scale it back with the overexposure because their muffin top is showing and that shit ain't appealing. You're beating wankers like Randall and I over the head with the same meh-tches every month. Take the less is more approach, purge yourself of all these unecessary PPVs and simply commit to airing five per year alongside TakeOver. Hopefully that'll ease the pounding pressure on my temporal lobe.





    Last edited by SkitZ; 08-30-2018 at 08:22 AM.

  9. #9
    The Brain
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    The smart money on any Lesnar match these days is that it's well worth skipping, more's the pity. If you catch him on a good day I think it could be fun, but does he have any good days left?

    Can't really imagine why you would have the Bar and not feature them in some in ring capacity as often as possible. They're the definition of work horses! And I think it's very fair to compare NXT and WWE, it's the same damn company after all so you know if they really wanted to they could do as well with one as the other. Very strange time. But good stuff, so good to have you back! And stop trying to go to the MP!!

  10. #10
    Forgotten Ponder
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    Guarantee you the person creaming over the IC match but not the NXT Tag Title match was 'Plan. Rollins could mutilate a newborn in the ring and he'd still jack off to it.

    I was gonna say I don't understand how the same company can have it so right one way but not the other but then I realised it's because Vince and Trips are at both ends of the spectrum. NXT isn't perfect (nothing in life ever is) but the less is more approach is so much better than the same old shit extended like some sort of capital punishment. NJPW has long matches/shows but by fuck do they fly by and aren't going through the motions.

    Anywho, fuck Roman Reigns. Er.......
    Twitter - @Sooper_Hoody


  11. #11
    Cero Miedo Mystic's Avatar
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    SkitZ-o! Welcome back!

    You forfeit phrases like "I just don't understand" when you watch WWE. It's not to be understood. Please do try. It's a great mental exercise. If you start cracking the codes, tell me how Bobby Roode dominated nxt as a heel and, overnight, was no longer dominant or a heel.

    Asking for a friend.

    That friend is an old me

    who died

    from the pain

    of trying to understand.

    Welcome back.

  12. #12
    TNT Bill: Agreed. It definitely had potential but Creative wrote themselves into a corner by not structuring any type of long-term angle. The whole thing felt very "this is the plan for tonight and we'll figure out the next step tomorrow before RAW". I was holding out hope that Mysterio would be revealed as Braun's partner (even if it was just another one-off appearance).


    Mizfit: Hahaha after me and Doc's last conversation in February, I knew it would be tough sledding making my way back to the MP. I messaged him mostly for an amusing response. Should I start feeling froggy again however, please restrain me from making the leap!


    Randall: Lol I'm pretty sure it was 'Plan touting the IC Title match as an instant classic. Meh. Aside from a few sequences towards the finish, I found it slow and plodding. Still trying to dip my toe in the New Japan pool but I'm a pussy who'd rather just keep complaining about WWE instead of switching things up.


    Shane O: You're absolutely right but I'm gonna piggyback off of the above sentence. At this point, I can't imagine watching a wrestling product that didn't supply me with endless amounts of shit to pick apart (such as your boy Roode's fall from grace). Having said that however, I do miss Lucha Underground. Might be time to Netflix binge...






    I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One








    Spoiled Rotten


    It's easy to blame the evergrowing outbreak of spoilers on technology but, between WWE plugging every goddamn thing in sight and there being a trillion different news sources, the suspense surrounding wrestling was bound to lose its spark sooner rather than later. I am among the many who utilize the outlets at our disposal and then trash them all the same. Indulging in said gossip has become a tough habit to break with kayfabe all but broken. Even those with the best of intentions are forced to restructure their whole daily routine. That means tip-toeing around Twitter, any ongoing group chats with other internerds and LOP's Main Page which is pretty much one giant cheatsheet. There's temptation around every corner! I can't fault anyone for tripping up and falling face first into a stack of headlines. One wrong move after avoiding spoilers all week and WHAM - it smacks you in the face like asparagus piss.


    Leaks spring up year round and with so many dirtsheets soiling themselves over whatever Meltzer's covering, it's no wonder I can't crawl out of bed without my newsfeed putting a damper on things. Then of course there's TMZ who never seem to give it a rest with their tireless antics. Anyone else picture Jake Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler when those low-lifes break a story? Bloody bottomfeeders. Those pieces of shit were probably fudging with Jim Neidhart's thermostat and greasing the hardwood right before he hit the floor like a ton of anvils. Nearly just as tragic is the fact that I've yet to watch an entire Hart Foundation match (which no doubt has Maverick scowling in disgust and 'Plan unfriending me on Facebook).


    If I've learned anything over the years, social media and spoilers don't mix. They're actually quite combustible when stirred together in a conversation involving multiple parties. A slip of the lip will often leave your buddies feeling bitter but some guys get seriously sour over an oopsie. Spoil something by accident and it ends like Gargano/Ciampa... in fisticuffs. Take a chill pill, spoiler police. My goal in life isn't to rain on your little privacy parade. If it was, I'd be shouting NXT CROWNED TONI STORM THEIR FIRST-EVER UK WOMEN'S CHAMPION from the rooftops but that's not the case. I'm simply doing it indoors.


    Who's to say I didn't receive some bad information though?


    Last edited by SkitZ; 09-01-2018 at 02:01 PM.

  13. #13
    Sorry for all the feedback at once, I've only just read all this:

    Lashley: Never been impressed with him and despite all the praise for him about what he did outside WWE from people who had seen him I wasn't expecting to be again (those same of people told us that Tensai was going to be awesome and when he came back he was even shitter than before).

    He needs something because he's dull as dishwater. I've noticed he's tagging with Cena in that upcoming event in Australia against two heels that are probably just going to be jobbed out with such little resistance I can't be bothered checking who they are. However, why not do something significant. If I'm not mistaken last time Lashley was around, wasn't he jobbing to Cena? Lashley for the first time in Cena vicinity could use this chance to take a decade long grudge out on John Boy. Despite Strowman's apparent heel turn, the odds are still too stacked in the faces favour on Raw. Another top line heel could swing the odds more in the baddies favour.

    Plus I'm not sure how often Cena will be around but he's sure to be around for the Wrestlemania payday, so this could be Cena's Wrestlemania program. Why not also put Bob with Heyman? If rumors are to be believed Heyman is set to return alongside Owens, but I think Lashley could use Heyman more as he's about as comfortable on the mic as I am with a super models tits. Obviously there is a fair chance Cena will bury him, but rather him than someone in there 20s or 30s.

    The Bar: Unfortunately I anticipated that the Smackdown tag division would become an afterthought when the draft happened. So the likes of The Bar and The Usos not getting any TV time has come as zero surprise.

    The general cheerleading among internet nerds when the annual draft happens is for Smackdown to be stacked at the expense of Raw, for some reason. Judging by the comments I see supporting this, the believe is that by doing so we will return to the glory days of the Smackdown 6 in 2002. That idea is badly flawed one though. Back in 2002, the Smackdown 6 was not a main event program. That was filled by Lesnar, Big Show, Hogan, Undertaker. The 6 was a replacement for the tag division and the midcard divison- there was no midcard belt until 2003, and the tournament that crowned new tag champs featured only one none thrown together squad (Billy & Chuck). The rest of the tournament was teams like Cena & Kidman, Rikishi & Mark Henry, Tajiri & Lesnar, and Ron Simmons & D-Von. Furthermore, back then, the womens' division was a weekly pillow fight or bikini match.

    In 2018, they have a serious womens division, an extra males singles titles and a tag division that consists of The Bluedgeons, The New Day, The Usos, The Bar, The Colons, Sanity, Rusev Day, and The Club, who have 10 minutes a show between them. Fact is, many of these teams would have been better off on Raw who have an extra hour to fill.

    Takeovers: I think the real advantage that the Takeovers have is they probably know weeks in advance what the match is gonna be, how long they are gonna get, and who is going over and can perfect their matches for weeks in the Performance Centre. It also helps that Helmsley, probably has a very good idea of what is gonna happen as far forward as the next takeover when he's booking. On the main roster, the performers and the writers probably don't have a clue whats gonna happen until they get to the arena, which probably is still subject to change even while they are in the ring. So there is probably a fair bit of winging it going on, so I don't really judge it by the same standard.

    Spoilers: The only thing I have to say on this, is in recent months, when Roman Reigns was demoted to the midcard for feuds with Lashley and Jinder, I could go on social media before I'd watched Raw and didn't often find a single spoiler. Then the rating come out- it appears that nobody was watching a show where the Big Dog was in the postion they campaigned for him to be in. On Monday however with Roman holding the belt and in the main show, I already had Strowman's turn spoiled multiple times. Is this an indication that WWE are correct in putting Reigns in the main event? Who knows, but I know I'm personally more interested in Raw than I was two or three months ago

  14. #14
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    Spoilers....normally don't bother me except for a couple of times a year. Here's an out-take from a column I did some time ago, not sure why I saved it but it's kind of appropriate here.

    When I get to work in the morning, the first thing I do is hit the internet. These forums, the main LOP site and PWInsider are my prime targets. Every morning, except for two days a year:
    1 - The Monday after the Royal Rumble
    2 - The Monday after WrestleMania.

    Being British, watching Pay Per Views live isnít an option. They get watched on Monday evening. Although I do my best to avoid spoilers, for the most part I donít care if I spot a headline that gives something away. The Rumble and WrestleMania are different though. I prepare my Monday internet viewing in advance by checking for all the preview columns on the Sunday and copying them into emails that I send to myself to read throughout the day in preparation for my eveningís viewing.

    I donít avoid the internet altogether though. As well as these forums, Iím the longest running active member of the forums over at ultimate-guitar.com. On that siteís homepage, there is a news section which covers mostly guitar related music news. Only once have I ever seen a completely non-music related story on there, and it was on 7th April 2014.

    Thatís right, a guitar website had ruined the biggest shock in wrestling history for me.

    It ruined my whole day and left me feeling empty as I watched my long term favourite The Undertaker in what was probably his worst match since Giant Gonzalez, knowing I was seeing the end of an era but still not caring because by then Iíd known the result all day and come to terms with it.
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  15. #15
    The Brain
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    That's definitely an advantage to watching smaller companies, much harder for people to spoil things! That's the hope anyway, haha. Yes, go binge that Lucha Underground! And watch the Hart Foundation vs. the Brain Busters from Summerslam '89, for god's sake!

  16. #16
    Testicular Trauma: Hahaha I'll forever remember you from the Main Page comments section for your unmatched Cena hate. Also pretty sure it was blunt force balls who said "I don't care about your private life. Either talk about wrestling or gtfo." when I posted that Victoria column... If so, you're gonna love my next entry. Thanks a ton for the detail feedback, dude! And yes, Lashley did suffer a few L's to Cena in '07 (who didn't, right?). They had a great match at GAB that year before Bobby went down with the injury.


    TNT Bill: To be honest, spoilers never ruin an upcoming event for me. I actually find it fun to know the result beforehand (if possible) and then see how they reach that conclusion in the ring. I'm American so obviously the scheduling works to my advantage. No matter how shitty the card or build-up has been, I always watch Mania and the Rumble out of tradition; the other major shows not so much. It's all very hit or miss but I feel bad for the Brits and Aussies who don't get to watch in real time.


    Mizfit: Turns out I'll have some free time later today which means that Hart Foundation/Brain Busters match is as good as watched! Doc & Plan's New Gen series has really opened my eyes to how special of a worker Bret was in his prime. The man could pull a great performance out of nearly every shmuck on the roster! And as far as smaller companies go, I woke up feeling rather tempted to watch All In... We'll see though. You know how shifty I can be!






    I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One








    Tweet Vultures


    The twatters are always hovering overhead; ready at a moment's notice to swoop in and divebomb some celebrity's public image. Show any signs of weakness and they'll pick you apart. Twatters also specialize in timehopping which means no tweet from your past is too old to scrutinize here in the present. Just a few months ago they pulled up a pair of 2012 posts from the current Cruiserweight Champion and irrelevant Tye that poked fun at rape. Why exactly I couldn't say. Maybe it was a slow news day? Perhaps a flock of fans figured they'd personally put an end to the Age of Alexander because he isn't Cedric the Entertainer? Or heaven forbid Dillinger received some semblance of a push? Jesus you people are heartless!


    As the Katie Vick angle proved once upon a time, rape isn't really a laughing matter. And unless you're SkitZ, it's nearly impossible to get away with that type of inappropriate humor without it puncturing one's reputation. Digging that deep into the past however screams of desperation from attention whores who will stoop to any avenue so long as they get their fix.


    While we're on the subject of slander, how about Tyler Breeze constantly having to defend his character, career and company against the twatters? Engaging exchanges aside, they stir conflicting emotions as part of me relishes in watching Breeze respond passionately to such assholes while the other wonders if Prince Pretty's become Prince Petty for even bothering. One thing I am sure of is that there'd be alot less bickering both ways if WWE booked Tyler on more than just tours and house shows. Still, I can't believe the balls of these basement dwellers who relentlessly blast jobbers like Breeze because they have the business all figured out. Let us not forget - the Fashion Files provided quality television that could've elevated Breezango to title contenders had SmackDown execs not pulled the plug. The twatters should go roast Road Dogg. Maybe that'll light a fire under his ass.


    Unfortunately, they're too busy bombarding Kenny Omega with tweets shoving NXT's success in his face (ala futile attempts to trigger the Bullet Club leader's return to WWE). As if whatever he's accomplishing elsewhere doesn't amount to shit. Kenny is absolutely killing it in New Japan right now and in return they've made him a top priority. Plus I doubt Omega's vision for the future of wrestling is one that Vince McMahon shares. He's the reigning IWGP Heavyweight Champion and NJPW continues to gain steam so why change tracks? How hard is it to sit back and let the dude do what makes him happy without chirping in? I swear today's twatters physically can't help themselves. The app has turned freedom of speech into a double-edged sword because you can't have a civil conversation without wanting to stab somebody. When you log in, there should be a big banner that reads [WELCOME TO TWITTER WHERE POLARIZING OPINION AND HYPOCRISY RUN WILD] with a pic of Hogan headlocking a black wrestler below.


    I follow a few pals and certain accounts amuse me but Twitter's a pretty toxic atmosphere overall. Columns serve as my coping mechanism when these fingers are feelin' vengeful.

    Last edited by SkitZ; 09-02-2018 at 11:34 PM.

  17. #17
    I'm pretty sure I didn't leave that comment. I'm just not that funny.

    Regarding the twitter terrorists, yes it's a sordid world. Often you'll come across them saying unsavory things from someone who has quite clearly used one of his grubby paws to remove his phone from one of his dorsal folds, and dislodged his other from a tube of Pringles to use his plum fingers and decling motor skills inform someone like Sasha Banks she looks like a horse, while wedged into his sofa. However I find it best not to engage these people as you may distract them from their busy day of deep throating a banana in their mum's front room.

    A better game to enrage smarks is to leave positive comments about Roman Reigns in the LOP comments section then return hours later to see how mant thumbs down you get. My record so for is 128 saying that Raw would be a lot better with Reigns as champion than Lesnar.

  18. #18
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    I had my twitter feed filled with naked ladies until recently. Now they're still there, but with Type's posts in between them. Kind of an odd mix.
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  19. #19
    Testicular Trauma: Ahhhhhh my bad for mixing you up with someone else. I just remember it being a veteran commenter but the username escapes me. I get a kick out of watching you enrage the Roman haters on the MP. Hard to believe you were thumbed down to that extent given how much disdain Lesnar accumulated as Universal Champion. Oh and apologies in advance for today's bullshit. It'll be back to straight wrestling talk in the next entry.


    TNT Bill: Hahaha sounds a lot like my Instagram. 95% of the accounts I follow on there are either porn stars or Suicide Girls. Gotta love the perks of being a single guy on social media. No shame whatsoever!






    I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One







    Ladies Be Lurkin'


    It's been the same song and dance with my columns for over a decade but that tune changed dramatically last winter when I posted Moles, Stretch Marks & a Moral Dilemma. Expecting privacy on a public site is pretty stupid in retrospect but my dumbass assumed the women on blast would be none the wiser since I was bitching strictly to a bunch of dudes. Yeah not the case in 2018. Victoria slipped through the cracks and I ended up with egg on my face. In the midst of airing my dirty laundry, I hung the girl out to dry and she wasn't about to let that shit fly. It bugged Victoria enough to forward the column to several females from my past and I spent the rest of the day deflecting more hatemail than a Roman fan. Women were shouting at me from every direction and not at all like they do to Reigns. One chick's mom even threatened to sue me for defamation of character if you can believe that! And people say kayfabe is dead...


    Living with that sort of stress is uhealthy though. It reminds me of the anxiety that flares up every WrestleMania season when you go in hoping for the best but anticipating the worst. Things were shaking out about as well as a whiz in the winter so I took my balls and went home. Victoria had jerked all the joy out of column writing and I suddenly couldn't focus on my sexcapades without her inspecting every sentence with a magnifying glass. As far as my personal life's concerned, Rockwell sang it best:






    The paranoia continues to pile on with each poor choice I make. I placed Victoria on hold while pursuing pussy elsewhere and let's just say the Cat's out of the bag on that one. Then Plan B went up in smoke when my Miss Elizabeth turned out to be a pot-dependant stripper from another state. It was around the time I texted Victoria about her horror show of a period and accidentally sent it to a girl named Kimmy that I realized the Full House act wasn't doing me any favors. What's worrying is the realization that I'm the problem and the same applies to wrestling. I've become increasingly critical towards what I watch on a weekly basis without seeking any sort of an alternative solution. And I'm just as shallow swimming around the ol' dating pool despite only being a chin and some stomach chub away from falling into James Ellsworth territory.


    Lately this column deal has felt like a losing battle but supposedly any man with two hands has a fighting chance (so a swarm of brawny feminists should be along to squash me any second). No woman or wrestler are doing it for me at the moment so why not change my approach? Because I'm incapable of making an adult decision, boys and girls. YourAyatollah told me to grow up after reading my Victoria diatribe and I haven't matured in the slightest. I do find it kinda ironic though that Steve referred to me as a less cool Ferris Bueller and then had a Facebook friend claim he resembled Matthew Broderick. Nonetheless, it's tough staying true to form when there's a foray of females putting the clamps on you.

    Last edited by SkitZ; 09-03-2018 at 09:09 AM.

  20. #20

    I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One








    Kurt Still Thinks He Can Go


    Technically he has gone for now but he'll be back. They always come back!


    That's neither here nor there however within the context of this section. The real issue is that I keep reading these reports about Angle training for another run as a wrestler and how he's ready to jump back in the ring when given the word... Well here's hoping that call never comes. Kurt no doubt gets giddy whenever WWE lets him throw on his gear but WrestleMania 34 should be the last we ever see of Angle in a singlet. Between his three performances since returning to the company, I think it's safe to say Kurt's best days are farrrrr behind him; so much in fact that he's now become a liability between the ropes. The Olympic Gold Medalist struggled just executing the basics at this year's Show of Shows and you quickly got a sense of how much he's regressed. Crazy the difference a decade makes but I don't think it's a stretch to say Ric Flair looked better at 59 than Angle does at 49. Oh it's true; it's damn true.


    Mizfan tried to curb our enthusiasm when Kurt came back and we rejoiced as if a Seinfeld reunion was in the works. People were too preoccupied celebrating to stop and heed his warnings. Fans of Angle's who hadn't watched a full match of his since 2006 fantasized about Kurt locking up with the likes of Bryan, Rollins, Styles, etc. They expected the former addict to simply snap back into rare form but as these past 17 months have proved, Angle can barely run RAW without losing his breath. Constable Corbin's probably the only bum on the roster that Kurt can keep up with at this stage and sadly it appears we may be heading in that direction. Perhaps management paired them together in hopes that Baron would make Angle look good by comparison? Regardless, that match doesn't warrant a spot on any platform so I'm sure WWE will treat us to it soon. There's also a chance Kurt and Corbin captain their own Survivor Series teams and decide the GM gig that way. We do appear poised to revisit 2003... now if only Angle could turn back the clock 15 years.


    I'm glad the Olympic Gold Medalist has returned home where he belongs but please let's keep the guy in a limited role. Is an Angle Retirement Tour really necessary? Not by a long shot. Have him reunite American Alpha, concentrate on managing them and call it a day. Kurt beat addiction and that should be rewarding enough. The dude's one more broken neck away from his head popping back like a Pez dispenser and pain pills falling out.

    Last edited by SkitZ; 09-04-2018 at 08:50 AM.

  21. #21
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    I think WWE knows better than to give Angle another full time run as a wrestler. He'll get the occasional cameo match, but that's it. The American Alpha thing works - no idea why they split that team in the first place. And forget the whole I am your father thing happened.
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  22. #22
    In fairness to Kirk Angel, even as broken down as he is, I'd still rather see him in the ring than Cena.

  23. #23
    Mediocrity at it's finest kingzak13's Avatar
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    Been reading in the background since the series came about. It's been a lot of fun.

    I'm far from a Lashley fan, but him being off SummerSlam completely felt wrong. I expected him to at least beat up Elias, but no, he just does nothing. I don't even think he has been on Raw since.

    I have been really disappointed with the tag division lately, however now we have The New Day as champions, hopefully this gives us some combination of The Bar, New Day and Usos for the next few months.

    If you ask me, Kurt was used perfectly in the Shield match and pretty good in the WM34 match, I don't want to see him in anything that isn't a tag match honestly, he can't go on his own but using a team to buffer him is fine.

    Looking forward to anymore you have coming.
    *Ghostly wailing*

  24. #24
    TNT Bill: Do they know better though? Because the last 5 years beg otherwise when it comes to Taker and other past-their-prime legends lol. Even if Vince & Co. are reluctant, I can picture Kurt trying to convince the old man to give him one last run. Hopefully he's denied!


    Testicular Trauma: That doesn't surprise me, sir. Why we're on the subject though, I have gotta get your thoughts on the new move Cena recently unveiled in China. Is the lightning fist remarkable or what?


    Zak: Glad you've enjoyed the ride, dude. I agree with you in terms of how WWE used Angle at TLC and WM34; the kind of protective booking where not too much is required on Kurt's part. If they were to put in a 15-20 minute singles match however, things could get ugly.






    I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One








    Bayley & Sasha Should Be Rocket Strapped...
    and Shot Into the Nearest Volcano



    Remember when the tension between these two finally erupted and boiled over into brawls? The blowoff to their feud had been continuously teased from Mania 'til SummerSlam... and then the climax never came. Instead of settling the conflict in the ring like everybody else on the roster, Bayley and Sasha were sent to mandatory counseling with Dr. Shelby. A couple cheesy, rehashed segments later and their best friends again. (SIGH) You continue to leave me exasperated, WWE. Why spend the better part of a year building this animosity between Sasha and Bayley just for them to ultimately decide "ehhhh let's let bygones be bygones"? What's the message here? Love conquers all? As a single guy, I can assure you that's not even remotely appealing from my viewpoint.


    We go from Bayley and Sasha wanting to tearing each other limb from limb to suddenly being attached at the hip? This entire beef has been one giant rib. The joke's on us for believing they'd actually settle their shit like Becky and Charlotte currently are over on SmackDown. Creative took so long resolving the Bayley/Sasha issue that now the two are stuck together because WWE needs credible teams when the Women's Tag Titles are inevitably introduced! We couldn't go the Best-of-7 Series route again? Dragging this out thru the Road to WrestleMania and summer months just to swerve us at the end has literally felt like a highway to Hell. Using that classic AC/DC track as a theme song 20 years ago? Smart marketing decision. I can't in good conscience get on the same sheet of music as Bayley and Sasha. They have no business being together! Ugh and a name like Boss 'n' Hug Connection makes me wanna suffocate Vince with Bear's hands (mine are too scrawny).


    Fans hung in there because they figured we'd at least be treated to the type of payoff that co-headlined the first TakeOver: Brooklyn. The reality is however that said investment wasn't worth a damn. Neither woman has turned heel despite desperately needing a tweak. They've somehow managed to transform Bayley from beloved babyface into an insufferable muppet without ever turning her heel. I'd give the writing staff a hand but they've hardly lifted a finger in doing so. Oh and should this 8-Horsewoman tag match take place at Survivor Series, how much you wanna bet the WWE squad loses because of Sasha turning on Bayley? Imagine... an additional 4 or 5 months of melodrama just to give us a Mania match we should've seen a year sooner!





    Last edited by SkitZ; 09-05-2018 at 09:51 PM.

  25. #25
    I haven't actually seen Cena adding to his moveset but my guess is it's as pitiful and sloppy as the rest of his offence, he will yell at the top of his lungs to his opponent that it's coming next and it will be used in Cena next big match where they take turns to hit signature moves that are sold for 10 seconds tops and yield inly a 2 count.

    My thoughts on them not splitting Sasha and Bayley is that they are worried heel Bayley won't work and heel Banks will work too well, thus fans demanding she gets the strap which will ruin all Rousey centric plans, hence the cold feet everytime we get close to it. They could have at least done a lesbian angle though to explain their reunion
    Last edited by blunt force balls.; 09-05-2018 at 03:21 AM.

  26. #26
    The Brain
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    Skitzoid! I've been out of town so now it's time to play some catch up.

    Twitter does indeed suck! I've considered abandoning, or at least severely limiting, my social media, but if I did I think I'd find myself a little too disconnected. But christ, it is exhausting sometimes.

    Ohhh, sorry to hear some of your private personal rantings got found out. It's sometimes necessary to have a safe space to speak out on such things. That's not to say we don't go over the line sometimes, but that's all part of growing, right? Or something like that!

    Part of me is glad to be acknowledged about Angle, but mostly I'm sad to be right about how broken down that guy is. He legitimately scares me in the ring though, and has for the past few years. If the guy had hung it up in 13-14 he'd have been ok I think, but he's seemingly got Ric Flair syndrome where he'd rather die in the ring if at all possible, except that his go-go style is pretty much the opposite of the tricks and styles Flair used to prolong his ring time. If Angle never has a match again, that'd be fine with me, and if he does I highly doubt I'll be checking it out.

    Don't hardly know what to say about Sasha and Bayley... it seems so long ago that they were hailed as two of the best things in all of wrestling. Sasha was meant to be an incredible in ring prodigy, and Bayley was the female John Cena who would inspire children (and merchandise) all over the world. Now... yeah, don't know what to say!

    If you caught All In (or even that Brian Busters match), would love to hear your thoughts on it!

  27. #27
    Testicular Trauma: That is exactly how it happened. I'm wondering now though if it was simply a cheesy one-time only thing Cena did overseas. Either way, I'm sure the lightning fist offended someone of Asian descent since it looked like a comedic jab at kung-fu. FYI - I threw some Cena shade in the entry below just for you. Feel special.


    Mizfit: Unfortunately, I've not yet watched All In. Do I need to subscribe to ROH? That strikes me as a conversation we've had before lol. I mostly wanna feast my eyes on that Omega/Pentagon match. Funny what you said about Twitter because I could probably never fully disconnect myself from it either. Facebook on the other hand is a completely different story. I deactivate my account constantly!






    I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One








    Records Are Made to Be Broken (Every Other Week)


    You know a company's priorities are out of whack when the agenda deviates from manufacturing a quality product to "let's make some history again tonight!". Granted pro wrestling fabricates the success of its employees so I probably should've seen this circle jerk coming ages ago. The ongoing fap parade in WWE however has reached dizzying new heights as of late. It's one thing to reward your gamechangers on occasion but records are getting passed around like participation trophies which only cheapens each individual achievement. Rather than generate engaging storylines, Old Man McMahon prefers to use the broken record shtick as a crutch and thus has become far too lenient with letting people in his history books.


    Vince is also guilty of using these fictitious accolades to quietly erase former stars who've rubbed him the wrong way. Case in point, I suspect the plan all along called for Roman to dethrone Brock at WrestleMania 34; ala the world's worst kept secret for 12 months. Me thinks Vince changed the finish last minute though because of the ongoing CM Punk lawsuit and having realized Lesnar was a mere two months away from surpassing his 434-day title reign. McMahon seized the opportunity to knock Punk down a peg and engineer a swerve in the process. A similar fate befell his wife AJ after leaving WWE if you'll recall. She was retired all of six months before Nikki Bella knocked Lee off her pedestal as longest-reigning Divas Champion. Then of course the powers-that-be capitalized on Goldberg's relevancy last year by booking Asuka to surge past his unbeaten streak in NXT.


    Whether it's New Day leaping past Demolition or WWE expanding the Royal Rumble back in April to make room for more records, the company's really outdone themselves recently. The rate at which this crap's happening is unbelievable (hence why there's no suspense left in their programming) but much like the 50 different first-ever scenarios we've witnessed with women's wrestling, it only serves to devalue these accomplishments. Sadly, Vince could give a fuck because he's a publicity whore. Here's a slew of records you can count on being broken within the next calendar year:


    ~ John Cena to become a 17-time World Champion and surpass Ric Flair. He'll win the belt in some foreign country before dropping it back to whoever on the final night of said tour. The patriotic part-timer will then capture the United States Title twice more to beat another one of Naitch's records because he's a dick who needs his ego stroked.


    ~ Bank on Charlotte becoming an 8-time Women's Champion and breaking Trish Stratus' record before WrestleMania 35. Flair's gotta look strong going up against Rousey next spring, right?


    ~ The Miz will capture the Intercontinental Title for a record-setting 10th time because Chris Jericho's been traveling the world without WWE and Vince doesn't support his midlife crisis.


    ~ Expect The Shield to collectively eliminate every other entrant in the 2019 Royal Rumble en route to declaring themselves triple crown winners because rules and logic don't apply to cool kids. And whether or not you include The Hulkster's involvement in the finish of WMIX, Roman will Superman punch Hogan down the charts when he main events 5 (6, 7, etc.) consecutive WrestleManias to a chorus of "LOSE".


    ~ Speaking of L's, Triple H will no doubt add to his record total of WrestleMania losses because - unlike in NXT - Hunter can't put over talent without putting himself over as well.


    ~ Last but certainly not least is Curt Hawkins who makes history every time he shows up to work. Last I heard the streak had reached 0-219... Can you truly consider the guy a jobber though if his gimmick is always losing? Meh, he sounds like a winner to me!

    Last edited by SkitZ; 09-07-2018 at 09:59 PM.

  28. #28
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    I still think Cena will finish on 18 title runs. One more before he retires, then another one when he makes his Rock-like comeback 10 years later. Did a column about that one a while ago, probably my favourite one - would actually quite like to see that one hit the main page to see what the masses make of it! Don't think he'll do the US title again though.

    Charlotte & Miz are pretty much guaranteed to get those records. Wouldn't surprise me if Charlotte beats her Dad's record too eventually.

    The Shield winning the Rumble? Surely it's about time a faction actually teams up to do that - the Shield would be as good a team as any to try it.

    And HHH increasing his record? More than happy to see that. Despite the internet's general feeling towards part timers stealing the spotlight, you always know you're going to get a good match from HHH and it's a fair bet he won't be winning. Considering the reputation he had for burial back in the day, nowadays he does a great job at putting over the new guys. If he keeps himself over in the process, to me that just says how good he is at his job.
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  29. #29
    The Brain
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    I watched All In on njpwworld.com, but there are a couple ways to do it. That might be the cheapest/easiest? I haven't used ROH's player much so that could be a good option too. Definitely recommend checking it out!

    Yeah, breaking records is something WWE loves to do these days. It wasn't the main thing, but I still remember Roman Reigns breaking Kane's Rumble elimination record was a factor in me losing interest in WWE, especially since it was not long after Reigns eliminated an entire Survivor Series team himself or something. Like, chill out WWE! Sometimes it's ok for records to stand the test of time! That's how you sell people on watching old stuff on the Network, right?

  30. #30
    Cero Miedo Mystic's Avatar
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    " The Miz will capture the Intercontinental Title for a record-setting 10th time because Chris Jericho's been traveling the world without WWE and Vince doesn't support his midlife crisis."

    ^ WWE booking, as succinctly said as possible.

    Love the list. Very digestible. I don't watch WWE, so I have no say in it, but, at this point, I feel like Cena deserves to name the amount of title reigns he wants. He's more than earned it there.

  31. #31
    Mediocrity at it's finest kingzak13's Avatar
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    I am continually doubting whether Cena is gonna break that record. I feel like we aren't as close as a lot of us think.

    Charlotte and Miz breaking the womens/IC record is definitely going to happen. The Miz may have moved on for a while, but I can still see it happening.
    *Ghostly wailing*

  32. #32
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    Do people think Honky Tonk's IC record will get beaten though?
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  33. #33
    TNT Bill: Admittedly, I don't expect Cena to pass Naitch in the US Title department (I just said that bit to pop blunt force balls lol). And in the spirit of admitting things, I was foolish enough to believe Santino would beat Honky Tonk's record back in 2008-09... Yeah I felt real stupid when Regal ended it two months in. The Miz and a couple other guys will keep stacking up IC Title reigns but I'd say HTM's milestone is safe for the foreseeable future.


    Mizfit: Yep, Reigns eliminated 4/5ths of the opposing team at the 2013 Survivor Series. So in hindsight, we probably shouldn't have been that shocked when he threw out Kane's Rumble record. I can hardly recall WWE harping on records as a kid but when they did, it was considered a big deal. Nowadays they just feel so forced and you can see them coming from a mile away. I've had my fill of records being broken. It's hard enough catching up to you in COTMs when the bar is constantly being raised!


    Shane O: Thanks for stopping by, homie. It does seem as though Cena's won over a lot of his longtime detractors in recent years. Between his open challenges, jobbing to Taker in 3 minutes and generally remaining off television lately, he's shown the ability to give back after a decade plus of dominance. When Cena does break Flair's record though, the internet's bound to explode (unless of course there's a juicier story for fans to sink their teeth into).


    Zak: Agreed. Even though I suggested otherwise above, Vince will no doubt want to make a spectacle out of Cena winning #17. I can't realistically picture him swooping in and winning the WWE/Universal Title but then again look what happened with Goldberg so who the hell knows. As much as Miz deserves to dethrone Styles and rule over SmackDown Live, I think he has a better shot of ending up back on RAW as Intercontinental Champion. The company just seems hesitant to pull the trigger and I can't understand why.






    I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One








    The Land of Misfit Boys


    I've colored this section brown because of you clingy pieces of shit. Here I am barely dangling on and you dingleberries just won't leave me be. What's a guy gotta do to catch a clean break!? I vowed to leave this crap behind! Godddddddammit who am I kidding? It's bound to come back up through the wrong pipe so I might as well speed up the process...






    When my poop puns started to stink up the Main Page and the forums were wiped out, I figured it was time to wash my hands of LOP. As immature as my columns may be, it kinda felt like I'd outgrown this place. There were other goals worth pursuing (i.e. women to chase) and wrestling had sent me running in the opposite direction anyways so why not see where it led? I disappeared off the grid because WWE had completely lost me. My mind couldn't wrap itself around the company's pattern of behavior any longer. Not after they tempered Braun into a cuddly teddy bear and allowed The Beast to remain in hibernation with his Universal Title. Then of course there's Taker who loses a little bit of my respect every time he returns but at least the old fart usually prevails. Poor Nakamura and Asuka have just been losers since late January.


    It's a miracle I'm not at a loss for words by now. These people are paid to write weekly television but then look at a debuting group like Sanity and go "yeah creatively we've got nothing". That's like me showing up to paint someone's house and saying "yeah sorry this is outside my scope of work". WHY HIRE THESE FUCKERS IF THEY AREN'T QUALIFIED. It's a sad state of affairs when the keyboard warriors produce better pitches than those on the company payroll. Hell, Type's WrestleMania Fantasy Draft is far more palatable than anything RAW's writers have fed us lately. That's why - despite not watching it - I love seeing an event like All In succeed because it spreads the right message: No one man owns professional wrestling. There's no denying Vince has the market cornered but you and I run these streets.


    And that's what always keeps me coming back. The wrestling scene is constantly changing and social media keeps creating new platforms to discuss it on but yet the CF's still standing. Alot of folks use Facebook and Twitter instead but those conversations so often deteriorate into WWE and indy fans exchanging disses. Not nearly as many people are frequenting forums in 2018 but when you bounce around the board, there's no hostility or tempers flaring. Heated debates arise sure but one side doesn't need to bash the other with insults to get their point across. Whether you support WWE, Impact, NJPW, Lucha Underground, ROH or some other promotion, that's totally okay. You can post paragraphs upon paragraphs of opinion here without being poked and prodded with pitchforks.


    We co-exist without publicly burying each other and that's what makes this part of LOP special (the comments section on the MP is a different story) so thank you my fellow misfits. As much as our favorite pastime tries my patience, I've come to learn that column writing is all this attention span can handle.

    Last edited by SkitZ; 09-08-2018 at 05:48 PM.

  34. #34
    The Brain
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    This place isn't as active as it once was, but there's still no other place quite like it. Don't think I'll ever leave it alone, as long as it's still standing.

  35. #35
    Mizfit: True. We had a lot more traffic running through here a year ago before the likes of Rich, Imp, Sam and myself were moved to the Main Page. It seems the activity comes in waves though so maybe a couple new guys will make a splash here soon. And if this place turns into a complete ghost town, we'll toast to the good times.






    I've Got Whiny-Whine Problems and a Snitch is One








    What Good Are These Wrestling DVDs Now?


    When the WWE Network launched in 2014, it basically made my home video collection obsolete. Now they just sit on the shelf collecting dust and I'm a clean freak so it's officially a problem. What's my next move here? Goodwill? eBay? The garbage bin? Nah they deserve a decent home. Contact me directly with an address attached and I'll mail you a care package containing a complimentary bag of Skittles. Yeah I know they say not to accept candy from strangers but Halloween's right around the corner and SkitZ needs room for the slew of horror movies he recently ordered off Amazon (Alice Sweet Alice, Terrifier, etc.). So if anyone's interested in Survivor Series 2001-2011 or WrestleManias 18-33, send me those s̶u̶l̶t̶r̶y̶ ̶n̶u̶d̶e̶s̶ street numbers and I promise you won't be disappointed. At least not until you get around to watching them.





    I'll Always Love Bryan But Miz Has Me Feelin' Unfaithful


    The guilt is torturing my insides like a giant slice of cheesecake. I had a difficult time digesting Bryan's retirement but was practically frothing at the mouth when he returned this past March. Daniel fulfilled some of my wildest fantasies at WrestleMania XXX but then he suddenly couldn't perform so I had an affair. Not at first but by 2016 The Miz was beginning to grow on me so I dove in headfirst. You can imagine the mindfuck I experienced when WWE cleared D-Bry for in-ring competition out of nowhere. I admire Daniel's passion and persistence but Miz won me over long before he defeated my former lover at SummerSlam. Now their wives are involved and the plot keeps thickening. Gahhhh what's a guy supposed to do under these stressful circumstances? This soap opera is gonna tear me to pieces if it lasts until April.





    Gargano & Ciampa are Destined for Greatness... on 205 Live


    This is a loaded dilemma since you figure "the farther they are from RAW and SmackDown the better, right?". It's also a perfect fit in terms of stature but aren't the former best friends too big of stars now to be situated in the Cruiserweight Division? Could such drastic additions actually increase 205 Live's viewership? Or would fans treat their debuts as demotions and decry the decision before ever giving it a fair chance? We both know the correct answer so hopefully things don't reach that point. I just can't envision Gargano or Ciampa moving to Monday or Tuesday nights considering who's still in charge. If times are really changing, why was Finn constantly referred to as Braun's little buddy? And how come the two of them reminded me so much of Diddy & Donkey Kong? You know on second thought, I'll just save my complaints for Dynamite's Fact or Fiction series.





    Dana "Double Stuff" Brooke


    Perhaps it's just part of our gender's genetic makeup but -






    Doesn't Dana look like a snack wedged between these two hunks of sexual chocolate? I swear Titus and Apollo are ready to devour the woman as soon as the cameras stop rolling! Now, I'm too reliant on rainbows to claim colorblindness but is it racist for me to automatically associate every Titus Worldwide segment with a porn scene? Am I merely a pervert or is Dana Brooke to blame for dressing up as a sexy secretary? I plead innocence and if it helps strengthen my case, this visual throughout last season's Mixed Match Challenge inspired the same thoughts:








    I Don't Wanna Grow Up, I'm a Noise 'R' Us Kid


    What's the point of purchasing tickets to a wrestling show just to spend it tweeting the entire time? No wonder so many of today's crowds are dead (everybody's buried in their smartphones). Whether technology's at fault or WWE for segmenting the shit out of their televised events, the atmosphere in arenas has shifted from rock concert status to that of a ping pong competition. Extended stretches of silence followed by the occasional kneejerk reaction. It's as if the audience is reading from cue cards and the dude flashing them hates happiness.





    The Word Program on This Laptop Doesn't Have Spellcheck!


    My vocabulary is too shaky to be constructing columns without it. And don't you dare suggest I type everything into that tiny word box on the forums. The POST and PREVIEW buttons are nerve-rackingly close together (Calvin you cruel bastard). Speaking of our fearless Pain Lord, I'm hoping he can someday explain what the hell happened to my glorious Century Gothic font. It's been reduced to generic drivel!!




    Oh and last but not least -





    I Miss CM Punk More Than Neville






    Mr. Burns... Get it? But seriously, I find it hilarious how Punk signs a few autographs and people are suddenly singing his praises again. That's like Enzo featuring Neville in his next rap video and all being forgiven. Unfortunately, those rape allegations stuck a fork in Amore's career.


    We could dig deeper but there's plenty of meat to pick apart above and I'm clearly not thick skinned enough to flesh out these sections. The goal of this series was simply to get my mojo back.


    I'd say problem solved.





    ~ SkitZ

    Last edited by SkitZ; 09-08-2018 at 05:50 PM.

  36. #36
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    Thanks for the shout out

    I have a similar thing with my DVD collection. Signed up to the network as soon as it launched in the UK, never looked at them since. Some still have the plastic wrapping on. I'm thinking ebay will eventually be the answer.

    Also had a large collection of movies & TV shows on DVD. Donated the lot to charity a couple of months back now I have Netflix. Don't see the WWE ones going the same way, but something will have to give eventually. Ihat only really leaves my Star Trek/Star Wars collections. Considering all of Star Trek is on Netflix in HD, why am I keeping every episode in a lesser format? Guessing Alanis would say it's ironic, but then she never really understood the word anyway.
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  37. #37
    The Brain
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    I assume at some point society will collapse, at which point I'll be grateful for my wrestling DVDs (and hopefully a generator!).

    Bryan and Miz... why choose between them? They're both so wonderful! I loved their Summerslam match, and hated the stupid crowd for being so quiet. Whether they were just tired or WWE has failed to drum up sufficient interest for the match I'm not sure, but I might as well have watched on mute because the action itself was wonderful.

    I don't know if it's a good or bad thing to end up on 205 anymore. I've heard good things from those that watch but also deafening silence from the majority who don't, so who knows? Depends on what you're looking for, I guess. Hopefully they get a chance to excel wherever they are, they've earned it!

    I think you free time activities have colored your brain a little too much... and by think I mean I know they have.

    Definite pet peeve of mine to see fans with great seats sit on their butts and stare at their phones. Like, give me those tickets and sit on your phone at home, you bastards!

    Despite Punk's MMA failures and shitty friend behavior, I still miss him at times as well. There was a special energy and feeling about him, if nothing else, but alas for Punk fans we've probably seen the last of him in wrestling.

    Mojo back indeed! No Rawley!

  38. #38
    Member #25 SirSam's Avatar
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    May 2018
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    You know, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to watch a Titus Worldwide segment the same again.

    I also got weird vibes from the Bobby Roode and Charlotte pairing in the mixed match challenge. Now Charlotte has been paired with the good Christian boy AJ Styles, I do wonder what went on.

    It is good to have you back man, no one quite sees the world through the same colourful lense.
    Last edited by SirSam; 4 Weeks Ago at 04:45 PM.

  39. #39
    I profoundly express the following three statements with equal and powerful sentiment:

    a) I'm absolutely elated to see that you're writing again.
    b) You're one of the most creative and brilliant columnists I've read on this site.
    c) You are one sick fuck.

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