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  1. #1
    The Brain
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    The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: Extended Sentence (January '91)

    Greetings, mizfan fans! And welcome back to this award winning monster called the Heenan Series, and by that I mean it wins awards and it is also an actual monster. I think I could have filled an encyclopedia so far, and Heenan isnít even done managing yet! But I love it, and I also love the Big Bossman and the Royal Rumble, and weíve got both of those things on tap this month! So letís not waste time, letís get right back to into it!

    WWF, January Ď91
    Ongoing Heenan Storylines

    Extended Sentence

    Bobby Heenan vs. Big Bossman 1/8/91 WWF Chattanooga

    Yes, this wonderful feud is still going on! Absolutely one of the best things in the Heenan Series to date, and think about the ground that covers! Heenan doesnít have a Hulk Hogan doll this time, but he does have a plan. He takes the microphone from Mike McGuirk before Bossman enters, and claims heís just been on the phone with Mrs Bossman! He talked it out with her and everything is smoothed over. Bossman comes out with a ball and chain in hand! Heenan goes down on his knees and says he made a mistake and heís terribly sorry. The Brain claims Bossmanís mother is still on the phone in the back, waiting for him to come on the line and talk to her!! Bossman doesnít really believe it, but heís distracted enough that Heenan is able to once again sucker punch him with the microphone!! But of course, Bossman recovers quickly, beats Heenan up a bit, and wins quickly.


    Heís still got some bump in him!

    Despite that little bump he took up there, sadly I think Heenan is pretty much done physically at this point. Even a few years ago, they would have milked this for 5-10 minutes and Heenan would have bumped himself inside out. They are still able to get HUGE crowd reaction though, and considering how short the matches are Iíd say they are doing as much as they possibly can. After the match, Bossman beats up Heenan more with the ball and chain, until Mr Perfect runs out for the save. Bossman fights him off too, and Heenan and Perfect head for the hills together. More Bossman vs. Perfect is aces in my book!

    Awesomeness Rating: **ĺ


    Big Bossman vs. Barbarian (w/Bobby Heenan) 1/19/91 WWF Royal Rumble

    But this could be awesome as well! I love when Heenan starts throwing all his henchman at a single problem, especially when that problem is as good a wrestler as the Bossman. Bossman keeps after Heenan here, who tries to run around ringside to avoid him, but Boss catches him and bops him on the head. He shouldnít lost focus though, because Barbarian is so strong he suplexes Bossman like heís nothing! Good thing Boss has got such amazing punches to bring things back into his favor. Barbi knocks Bossman into the ropes and he gets his foot caught in very unusual and painful looking way. Barbarian takes advantage and beats the tar out of him, and Heenan even gets a free kick in. Barbarian drags him out and starts throwing Bossman around in a pretty incredible way. Bossman return fire with the cool enziguiri, and sure enough, this match is a ton of fun. I canít believe some of these matches donít have more hype, I blame the anti-big man bias that was rampant later on. Holy crap, Barbarian does an awesome roll up variation when Bossman crashes into the corner! Bossman attacks back with a huge uranage, but Barbarian recovers and goes up to the top rope! But Bossman rolls through and pins him by surprise! Did not expect a finish like that, after so much brawling and power, it was a technical counter that sealed the deal. I dig it, very cool Heenan flees too quickly for Bossman to come after him, but the love of the crowd is strong for the Boss. This is one to revisit, super fun match.

    Awesomeness Rating: ****Ĺ


    Big Bossman vs. Hercules 1/21/91 WWF MSG

    So yeah, Herc hasnít been in the Family for a long time, but Heenan is on commentary at the start of this and heís more than ready to see his longtime ally take care of his problems once and for all! But heís not going to get to see much, because Bossman starts coming after Heenan at the commentary booth at the start of the match! Heenan springs up and flees all the way to the back!! I love that kind of stuff, and Iím cover this anyway, on the off chance that he shows back up at some point. Iíll mention here again that Bossman is just ridiculously good, he takes Herc to his best singles match in quite a while here. Bossman is closing in on a win when Paul Roma comes out and does a missile dropkick for the DQ. Sean Mooney is on commentary and blames it on Heenan!! And moments like that are why we coined the term ďBabyface PrivilegeĒ on TLS. Power & Glory beats up Bossman after the match, but Heenan never comes back!

    Awesomeness Rating: ***Ĺ


    Letís Get Ready ToÖ You Know The Rest

    Royal Rumble Match 1/19/91 WWF Royal Rumble

    BH: I canít wait until next summer. I hear Bret Hart is finally going to have his hair washed.
    Bret and Dino Bravo start this one off. As in previous years, managers get to stay at ringside for as long as their men are in, which is cool with me. Greg Valentine heads out early on, with blonde hair and no longer with Jimmy Hart. When did that happen?? Heís a total MVP in the early part, just clobbering people left and right.

    BH: You see, if Jake Roberts looks straight perpendicular out of that injured eye, he can kind of see a haze-

    GM: How can you look straight perpendicular?

    BH: Thatís how bad his eye is damaged!
    Things pick up further when Jake comes out and immediately goes after Rick Martel like a man possessed, which gets one of the loudest reactions of the night by far. Taker gets in the mix as well and dumps Bret out after a long run, and absorbs a lot of punishment without selling much, which in fairness fits his character at least. Martel and Jake fight it out tooth and nail, at least when Martel isnít trying to get away. Martel finally gets Jake out when he sneaks outside and pulls the ropes down, which gets major heat. Undertaker slugs it out with both Legion of Doom guys in a very cool moment! But even Taker canít take on that kind of power, and he gets tossed.


    THE BEST

    Finally, at long last, the Heenan Family gets involved! Mr Perfect is #23, and he bumps like a god and eliminates Duggan and is my hero for life.

    GM: You need a trained eye for this kind of thing!

    BH: Jake and Duggan should go together, they can both get their eyes trained for the price of one.
    Haku is #25 and he heads down, as Valentine is finally tossed out, poor guy. For some reason, Haku throws a chop at Perfect. Get on the same team, guys!! Funny moment where Hogan is teetering on the brink of elimination and Heenan and Slick are screaming for him to go out, but heís hilariously saved by Shane Douglas, of all people. Martel continues to impress with some impressive near eliminations.

    Very funny moment where Hogan chops Perfect and he slowly falls to the mat, selling magestically, then Earthquake casually steps on his chest. Poor Perfect. Sadly, Bulldog dropkicks Perfect to the floor as we get towards the end. Dammit! Bulldog dumps Haku as well!! Go back to your endless Warlord feud, Davey Boy.

    BH: I donít understand the British Bulldogís hair.

    GM: You donít need to understand it.

    BH: Youíre right, I donít want to understand it.

    GM: Just enjoy it.

    BH: Ok, Iíll enjoy it!
    Five guys remain, Hogan, Bulldog, Martel, Earthquake, and for some ungodly reason Brian Knobbs. Bulldog finally throws out Martel too, god damn it Davey Boy! And seriously, why is Knobbs in the final 4?!? Knobbs and Earthquake toss out Bulldog. Hilariously, Monsoon and Piper on commentary clearly have no idea that itís Knobbs, they just keep saying ďone of the Nasty BoysĒ. They say it like 12 times. Earthquake does his finisher to Hogan, but UGH, Hogan completely no sells it, pops up, makes stupid faces, and throws both Knobbs out. Earthquake once again pounds Hogan to the ground and for some reason tries to pin him, but Hogan kicks out of the nonsensical pin and Hulks Up again to get the elimination win.

    This was a very fun Rumble overall, but the finish was a letdown. I didnít mind Hogan winning in í90, he actually had a pretty good performance there, but we are clearly getting into the period where the Hogan act is getting tired. I donít think they have any clue about that though, because we are far from done with this guyÖ

    Awesomeness Rating: ****ľ


    When The Mooney Hits Your Eye

    I have a soft spot for Sean Mooney. Thereís something about him. I donít know if heís just quietly charismatic or if heís subtly really good at what he does in a Gene Okerlund kind of way or what, but I always enjoy him a lot. In a rare combination, we actually get Mooney and Heenan paired up for some commentary for a special MSG show. I donít even have much to say about it expect that itís pretty fun, so hereís some quotes and a bizarre special guest they had at the desk.

    SM: I was expecting to do commentary with someone like Alfred Hayes.

    BH: And I was expecting to be out here alone, and I guess I am.
    BH: Some people call Hercules and Roma ďHerc & JerkĒ. I hope you wonít do that, because itís very rude.

    SM: And youíve never been rude?

    BH: Only if Iím provoked.

    SM: Now I know what Gorilla goes through.

    BH: Gorilla who?
    BH: If Jack Tunney told me it was sunny, Iíd go buy an umbrella.

    SM: Come on now, Jack Tunney has-

    BH: Fined me heavily over the years, yes.
    BH: Boy, I miss Monsoon. I never thought Iíd say that, youíre worse than he is.

    SM: Itís the first match!
    SM: Itís very important in the locker room to be known as the strongest.

    BH: Itís Luke and Butch, have you ever stood downwind of them?

    Thatís just creepy, Mooney.


    Elsewhere in the WWFÖ

    The Madness of Hulk Hogan

    In the 80s, Hogan was larger than life, he was bombastic, he was self righteous, and he was often very annoying, but it was pretty easy to see why he was popular. Even I, as a life long anti-Hogan fan, have admitted on many occasions that he performed well or had a good match in his prime. However, as we enter the 90s, Hogan begins toÖ change. Heís more formulaic, yes, and his act is tired, but itís more than that. He starts to sayÖ things. Strange, strange things. For example, during this month he claims that heís ďmarried to Tugboat for the 90sĒ, and proclaims that President Bush has agreed that he and Tugboat will go to the Middle East and stop the Desert Storm conflict themselves. That might sound like the usual Hogan patter to you, but I can assure you he wasnít always like this. And believe me, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Much more madness to come.

    BH: You know, Hulk Hogan didnít get a rematch after the lost the title at Wrestlemania VI. Thatís his own fault, he doesnít know how to negotiate a contract.

    Dark Side Origins

    Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka 1/21/91 WWF MSG

    GM: Watch out for the Undertaker.

    BH: I shook his hand earlier and I got frostbite.
    A Wrestlemania preview, it seems. I donít have a lot to say about the match, Taker is green but promising, and Jimmy Snuka pretty much blows at this point in his career. Wish heíd go away. Undertaker gets the win here, as he should, and perhaps most interestingly Heenan puts over Undertaker HUGE. I feel like you can tell when Heenan is genuinely excited about a guy, and he seems to have excellent taste.

    BH: Iím putting my collar up, Undertaker gives me chills.

    GM: Did you want a mahogany box?

    BH: Iím not discussing that with you, youíll have me in a toe tag!
    Awesomeness Rating: **


    New WWE Champion

    GM: I think Slaughter is a traitor, and so do a lot of people!

    BH: Thatís the trouble with a lot of people. They shouldnít think.
    Sergeant Slaughter finally, FINALLY, ends the lame reign of the Ultimate Warrior. I think WWF could have possibly tried a little harder with him, but even if they did I donít think he had a prayer of replicating Hoganís peak popularity. The Slaughter thing will be nowhere near the draw they are hoping itíll be, but as a performer heís lightyears ahead of Warrior at least.


    Koko B Ware, Heel?

    Koko B Ware vs. Tito Santana 1/21/91 WWF MSG

    SM: No more handshakes between Tito and Koko, it seems!

    BH: I love it! I love a fight between friends!
    A rare face vs. face bout that interested me a lot on paper, but even more in execution. Both of these guys are pretty much dyed in the wool babyfaces, but itís not long before they both get an attitude with each other! In fact, Koko actually ends up working heel here!! Iím amazed, but he does a great job actually, heís vicious when he needs to be and bumps and stooges excellently. Tito eventually comes back and hits the Flying Forearm to win, but honestly that was a great match, if you can find it I strongly recommend it. I maintain that Koko B Ware is awesome and one of the most underrated guys in WWF history.

    BH: I canít believe Koko took his eyes off the action and looked at me, thatíll cost him.

    SM: I wonít tell the fans at home the gesture you made towards him.

    BH: Well heís #1, thatís what I meant by that!
    Awesomeness Rating: ****Ĺ


    Demo-Losers

    Hawk & Animal vs. Crush & Smash 1/21/91 WWF MSG

    So I put this on the list because it should be a huge dream tag match, but since Demolition has already been massively downgraded in the booking and nobody cares about Crush in this role, it really, really isnít. And itís too damn bad, because even a year earlier this feud would have been amazing. Demolition goes on the attack early and isolates Animal. Hawk makes the quick comeback and they win with surprising ease. Demolition is done, just bring on the stupid Repo Man already.

    Awesomeness Rating: **


    Everybody Has a Price (and a Breaking Point)

    Virgil is starting to give DiBiase the stink eye because he keeps insulting him and making him do especially humiliating things. I am very curious about this feud, Ted has been awesome but Virgil has just kind of been there. Curious what they can make out of it, it still gets talked about to this day.


    Arm Wrestling Sucks

    Because I placed a curse on Davey Boy for his sins in the Rumble, he and Warlord are forced to have an arm wrestling match in MSG. This takes a million years and is one of the dullest, most terrible segments Iíve ever seen. Like, once in a while Iíve actually seen a good arm wrestling segment. And this was the antithesis of that. After a literal lifetime of stalling, Warlord throws the table at Davey before the finish. Yawn. Needs way less Warlord and way more Barbarian.


    Miscellaneous Quotes

    GM: How do you prepare for the Bushwhackers?

    BH: You get a can of rancid sardines and put it in the corner, and when they reach for it you kick Ďem in the head.
    BH: Wrestlemania is coming to my house!

    GM: Whatíre you talking about, just because itís in California?

    BH: Where do you think Beverly Hills is? You should be a geography major!
    GM: One of the Bushwhackers broke the record for shortest time in the Rumble this year.

    BH: Yeah, the goofy looking one with short hair. Oh wait, thatís both of them.
    BH: Now when you say tag team specialist, you mean the Rockers, Power & Glory-

    GM: The Bushwhackers?

    BH: No, theyíre sardine specialists.
    That finishes off the new month, mizfan fans! Glad to be back in the saddle, hope to ride on for a while. It seems the awesome Bossman/Heenan feud will continue. Funny how they actually didnít really suffer at all for Rick Rude leaving so suddenly, itís been a great story even without him. Weíre on the Road to Wrestlemania well and truly now, and I know that Heenan and his men are going to have a whole lot to do at that show. Canít wait to see what theyíve got up their sleeves!

    Thatís it for today, humanoids. Iíll be back soon with the next entry, until then donít let the ham-and-eggers get you down, and stay awesome!

  2. #2
    Another month bites the dust. Glad to see you back.

    That Bossman/Heenan feud seems like it was a huge deal back then. Considering that they have been going at it for months as like you mentioned the crowd is still giving the feud a huge reaction. Like you, I like how Heenan throws the entire Family at one problem to ensure that the problem gets put to rest. However, it never seems to go the way of The Weasel. I've been reading this for a long time now and I can't remember if he actually won a feud. Maybe indirectly? However, with that being said it does seem like the fans loved to see Heenan lose and Heenan played the part to perfection.

    Another great entry here.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
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    Welcome back sir.

    The thing I find so odd about this Heenan/Bossman feud is that I have zero recollection of it. What's worse is it sounds like it's an absolute joy, even if Bobby is long past his ability to be the physical performer he once was. Is that due more to age at this point or more due to the sloppy injury at the hands of The Warrior? I've never been a Koko guy, be it as The Birdman or part of High Energy, what is it that you find so endearing and impressive about Koko?

  4. #4
    The Brain
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    Feedback for the lovely feeders!

    Don! I'd say Heenan wins a few feuds, otherwise he'd never have any titles in the Family. For example, he and Perfect eventually did get the best of the Texas Tornado and got back the IC title. Also, lots of guys have promised to beat Heenan out of the company but nobody's done it yet, so that's a win of sorts! But for sure, like most heels of the era Heenan was usually positioned to be on the losing end. It's part of his special ability that he could keep bouncing back from losses and still draw huge reactions and feel like a threat to any title on any given day, with the right Family members in place. Thanks for the read and feed, my friend!

    Ray! I won't say the Bossman/Heenan feud is under the radar, but I do think it was featured less prominently after Rick Rude left the company early on. Still, it's well worth going back to check out some of, it really has been a favorite of mine! As to Heenan's health, it's really a combination of things. He was 47 years old at the time so slowing down was inevitable. He definitely wasn't helped by a lot of injuries. I can't put all the blame on the Warrior, though he deserves his share for exacerbated things by being careless. Heenan wound up with a lot of neck problems (hence his terrified reaction when Pillman grabbed him in WCW) and some nerve damage as well, which was already taking it's toll. It's kind of amazing he lasted as long as he did, and it's to his credit he was still doing anything physical by '91.

    Koko is a special love of mine. I think it was probably less obvious at the time because of the way he was presented, but I really do think he's one of the best wrestlers in the company. Maybe that's because, unlike a lot of guys, he always seems to give 110% even at smaller shows or MSG shows which are only seen by a much smaller audience. He's quicker and more agile than most guys in the company and I'd say hands down the best flyer, his missile dropkick is a thing of beauty, and the Ghostbuster is maybe the single most devastating move of the era, just an unbelievable brainbuster. I also enjoy how hard he commits to the silly character the WWF gave him, which is basically bird guy who sings all his promos. Dude is just fun in my book and I dislike how he's become a punchline because of an (admittedly unwarranted) HOF induction. If you want to give him another look I can recommend...

    Koko B Ware vs. Harley Race 2/1/88 WWF Prime Time (on the Network)

    Koko B Ware vs. Iron Mike Sharpe 12/4/88 WWF Challenge (a super, super fun squash)



    The Brain Busters vs. Koko B Ware & Blue Blazer 5/15/89 WWF Prime Time (on the Network)

    If you give them a look, let me know what you think!

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