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Thread: Who Am I?

  1. #1
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    Who Am I?

    Hey all! I noticed some of you guys having fun with this guessing game on another section of the forums, and wanted to get in on the fun in column form! I had just watched the WWE Super Show Down from October 6th if that gives you a hint. I will admit though, all doubt will be shed as to who this is at the end of the column (DON'T READ AHEAD! It ruins the fun :/ ), but I would enjoy hearing your thoughts afterwards. Bon appetit!











    I love getting physical in the ring. When I collide with wrestlers it excites me to no end. The blood pulsates through my veins as my opponent slams against me like a roaring tide against a protruding rock. I never feel more alive, or full of life, than in these moments.


    I’m practically never as active outside of the ring. People think I am, but really, most of the time I lay around. In the ring though, that’s when I spring to life.


    The thrill of the moment, as fans cheer wildly in the crowd- it’s truly priceless. I’ll admit, on occasion I’ve puked during a match. The nerves, the butterflies, the anticipation and excitement of it all. It just feels so good! Wanting to do my best. It’s hard to conceal, but the longer you do this, the better you get at it.


    One day, when I’m wrinkly and gray, I won’t barely be able to stand. I know and accept that. It’s the price you pay for truly living- like in these very moments. I accept my mortality, but not today. For today I am the lifeblood that pulses through the world. Today I am a rigid wall, standing tall against the winds of time. Today I stand alert and proud.


    I love this life, but at times, it’s confusing. Feeling like maybe I’m out of place, or I belong somewhere else. Feeling inadequate, or insecure about where I stand, and where I don’t. Those feelings strike me at times. Despite loving this life, I can’t help but feel even some shame. As if society, or my family would expect me to be focusing my energy on other things, or in other moments. The way I feel in the ring is indescribable though. When the crowd cheers as I smack my opponents, it confirms to me that I am exactly where I should be in life. That all is right in my world. It awakens me.


    I’m free. Many can’t say the same. I’m more liberated than so many lesser fortunate ones. I live a fulfilling life within these squared circles, against these skilled, dedicated men- year in, and year out. I’ve learned to dismiss any shame. Society, and even my own family can say whatever it/they want, I live for this. It’s impossible to conceal my excitement. That’s precisely how I know I have no need to doubt myself. I am proud to wrestle men.


    I’ve wrestled with adversity, for sure. When you are as free as I am, you will face resistance. I feel bad for them though- those that question me. They are afraid to embrace who they truly are. I’m clearly not though. I’ve shed those preconceived notions, and doubts, and embraced who I am. I’ve never felt so emboldened. So empowered.


    I know my hard exterior makes me appear tough, or even void of these feelings, but beneath it all, I’ve got my soft spots. I am extremely sensitive. I feel so much. Too much at times. But if I didn’t, maybe I wouldn’t be wrestling? If I didn’t get this excited maybe this life simply wouldn’t be for me? Living in doubt, or denial couldn’t bring me to where I am though. And for that I will never be ashamed. I am firm. I am proud...



    I am Bobby Lashley’s reoccurring, raging boner.
    Last edited by Kleckamania; 2 Weeks Ago at 12:51 AM.


  2. #2
    Member #25 SirSam's Avatar
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    Well played Kleck.

    I was thinking Dean? Seth? Drew?

    Fantastic ending. Re-reading it back knowing the ending brings a whole new level of hilarity to it.



    @Sir_Samuel

  3. #3
    This was freaking awesome. I must admit I didn't have a clue as to who that could be. I had a legit lol moment when I saw it was Bobbys Boner. I had to read it back after that and instead of serious the column changed to funny.

    Good stuff!

  4. #4
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    Thanks guys! The fact that both of you read it back a 2nd time was exactly what I hoped would happen, as it adds a dimension to the comedy. I'm glad you guys enjoyed this!


    This was meant to be lighthearted. We need some comedy these days. Another poor attempt at that is incoming...


  5. #5
    Do I shit in the woods? BEAR's Avatar
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    woah.. get your own gimmick!!


    Love this, obviously

  6. #6
    The Brain
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    Haha, I have no idea how I missed this. Hilarious. I never noticed Bobby rocking a rager before, who knew the WWE would start exciting him so much when he came back?

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