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    The Brain
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    The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: A Perfect(ish) Wrestlemania (March '91)

    Greetings, mizfan fans! And welcome back to a Wrestlemania sized edition of the Heenan series! Specifically Wrestlemania VII, where Heenan has a lot on the line both in the ring and in the commentary booth! Thereís a ton of stuff to get through, so letís get right to it!

    WWF, March Ď91
    Ongoing Heenan Storylines

    A Perfect(ish) Wrestlemania

    BH: Big Bossman isnít even ham, heís just an egger!
    Mr Perfect (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Jimmy Snuka, WWF Intercontinental Championship 3/4/91 WWF Prime Time

    Mr Perfect is set to have a final showdown with the Big Bossman at Wrestlemania, with his Intercontinental Championship on the line, but first he has to get past the legendary Jimmy Snuka! Fortunately that wonít be hard, because Jimmy Snuka really sucks by this point. I really donít know why they keep bringing him back. Thankfully heís up on the best workers in the WWF, and Mr Perfect drags Snuka to what is surely his best showing in years. I canít really take Snuka as a credible threat but Perfect does everything he can, and we get a reasonably enjoyable match before Perfect plants him with a snap Perfect-plex to secure the victory.

    Awesomeness Rating: ***Ĺ

    GM: Look there, the urn of the Undertaker.

    BH: I wonder if we can get a nice big urn for the Bossman. Or maybe one of those big green trash bags.
    Mr Perfect (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Big Bossman, WWF Intercontinental Championship 3/24/91 WWF Wrestlemania VII

    And now, the final showdown! Amazing that this Heenan/Bossman feud has been boiling for 5-6 months now. Heenan and Perfect cut a promo prior to the match that references the recent Rodney King incident, which actually a bit uncomfortable. But no time to think about that, the match is on!

    And this match starts HOT! Even by his standards, Perfect does some amazing bumps here, including Bossman swinging him around the ring by his hair!! Bossman takes his belt off and whips Perfect, and Heenan justifiably screams at the referee to stop him. Perfect gets the belt and wraps his knuckles to get some advantage back, so I suppose fair is fair. This is a real blast all the way down the line, and things hit a new peak when Heenan starts getting in his own shots behind the refereeís back.


    Every time you think itís done, he gets another kick in. Beautiful.

    Holy crap, when Heenan crosses the line one too many times, Andre the Giant appears!!! Everything breaks down, and Haku and Barbarian run down to join the brawl. The ref has no choice but to call the DQ finish, unfortunately, but itís a real sight to see Andre and Bossman fighting off the whole Heenan Family! Andre punches out Perfect and the babyfaces stand (very) tall together.

    I feel like this is a forgotten great match in some ways, even though I liked their previous match more. I still encourage everyone to go give this watch if you havenít seen it, ever or recently, itís well worth your time!

    Awesomeness Rating: ****Ĺ


    Faces of Rock

    Shawn Michaels (w/Marty Jannetty) vs. Kato (w/Mr Fuji & Tanaka) 3/15/91 WWF MSG

    GM: Tremendous ovation for Marty Jannetty!

    BH: Well, itís New York City, home of the Rockers! Or is it the Rockettes? Eh, same thing.
    In preparation for facing Heenanís Haku & Barbarian at Wrestlemania, the Rockers psych themselves up by taking on the members of Mr Fujiís Orient Express. In the heart of New York City, Michaels steps up to take on Kato one on one, and the results are notably good! Kato is actually a bit underrated, and I believe the man under the mask (Paul Diamond) has some deep ties to Michaels. If I recall correctly, they were tag team partners when Michaels was a green as grass rookie breaking into the Texas scene, so nice historical connection here. The action includes some very fun back and forth, and I think itís worth checking out, presuming you can actually find it. Tanaka sneaks in with Fujiís cane and actually helps Kato get the win, so not sure how well this helped the Rockers prepare!

    GM: Do you think the Rockers are watching the Barbarian here?

    BH: You know, if everybody in Madison Square Garden would be quiet, you could actually hear their knees knocking right now.
    Awesomeness Rating: ***ĺ

    Haku & Barbarian (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty 3/24/91 WWF Wrestlemania VII

    BH: When Haku and the Barbarian meet the Rockers, the match wonít even last a full minute.

    GM: The Rockers are going to win that quickly, are they?

    BH: Thatís ri- no! Weíre gonna dismantle them in 60 seconds!

    GM: Oh, I see. I didnít get that connotation.

    BH: WellÖ get it!!
    This actually kicks off the show and itís extremely fun, as you might expect if you appreciate the people involved the way I do. Everybody looked great in this, the Rockers are as good as you would expect, but I have to give credit once again to the other side. Barbarian was knocking guys out of their socks, just staggering offense at times, and Haku was crunching bones and breaking backs with reckless abandon. These guys deserve so much more recognition than they get, Iím seriously shocked that the WWF didnít run with this team for at least a few years. Theyíd be better than some of the teams weíll get instead, I can tell you that! The Rockers show commendable heart weathering the storm, and use their speed and agility to surprise the big men and pick up the victory here!

    Alfred Hayes: I must commend you Bobby Heenan, your combination of Haku and the Barbarian is quite impressive.

    BH: Well, they have one advantage over the Rockers, you can hit Ďem in the face all you want and they donít care. The Rockers care how they look!
    Awesomeness Rating: ****ľ


    The NEW Prime Time

    Itís the brand new Prime Time, which is Vince hosting with Heenan in front of a studio audience. Itíll never be as good as Heenan and Monsoon at the old familiar desk, but I am actually reminded a lot more of the old episodes of TNT in í84 and í85, which is not a bad thing at all. There are a number of goofy things they get a chance to do with this format in itís first month, including:

    JR: See, this snake is particularly dangerous.

    BH: Donít you have anything safe, like some Ninja Turtles?
    They have Jake Roberts on as a guest, which makes Heenan flee into the audience as Jake waves a huge snake around.

    JR: Go ahead Bobby, put your hand up against the glass where the snake is.

    BH: Oh sure, so you can jam it through!

    JR: Now, would I do that?

    BH: Oh yeah!

    JR: Youíre right.
    Jake scares Heenan with the snake, but the Brain screws up his courage to come back and challenge Jake to a game of pin the tail on the donkey, which is relevant because they are building up to the blindfold match at ĎMania. Jake uses the fans to guide him, which is great foreshadowing of his ĎMania strategy. Heenan cheats and tries to run away with the target so that Jake fails anyway, but Jake manages to get it anyway. Jake and Vince bully Heenan into trying it out, and he gets completely lost, bumps into the camera, and then runs into Jakeís snake before realizing whatís happening and fleeing all over again!


    Great exit strategy, Bobby.

    In another episode, the show is moved to a nightclub of some sort, with Vince and Heenan sitting and watching a show. Heenan is very frisky during this one, dancing with a random woman and trying out moves for the camera!


    What idiot put the camera there?

    Koko: What are you doing weasel? Those moves have been out for years!

    BH: Well NOBODY does the Bird!!
    Vince scolds him to come back to the table.


    Vince doesnít know Bobby can dance and host at the same time.

    Koko: Is everyone ready to do the Birdman?

    BH: No!

    Koko: Howís everybody doing tonight?

    BH: Lousy!

    Koko: Come on weasel, do the bird!

    BH: I donít want to do that, I donít do things like that.
    Koko comes out and sings his ďBird Bird BirdĒ song. Koko makes fun of Heenan in the audience and calls him weasel! He eventually gets Heenan to do the dance, despite his protests!


    The weasel suit was less humiliating than this!

    BH: What if I donít want to do the Bird?

    Koko: You gonna let Vince McMahon outdo you?

    BH: Oh, I KNOW I can dance better than HIM!
    Vince tries the dance as well and gets overexcited, which shouldnít be hard to picture if youíve watched any Vince shenanigans. Vince spends the whole night scolding Heenan, so Heenan gets a bit of revenge at the end when he steals Vinceís wallet!


    Never miss an opportunity!

    On still another episode, we follow Vince and Heenan to a gym to discuss, I donít know, Vinceís giant muscle fetish probably. Vince has Heenan hooked up to some infernal machine, so the bullying continues. The Nasty Boys and Jimmy Hart show up and help Heenan escape his predicament.


    Stop this crazy thing!!

    Last but not least, back in the studio Heenan has Perfect on as a guest so they can make fun of Vince McMahon. Heenan brings out a mannequin and pretends itís Vince, and shows that heís wearing a wig! When Vince confronts him about it, he puts all the blame on Lord Alfred Hayes! So yeah, Prime Time is still very fun even after the format change. I miss Monsoon though.


    Vince, you never looked better!


    One Ticked Off Giant

    Andre the Giant is indeed back in the WWF, though heartbreakingly he is now using arm braces now to get around. I believe he did not need them all the time because I know he was still wrestling tag matches in Japan, but I also believe he was doing minimal physical work in those matches, so thereís no doubt his condition is very rough by this time. Also as part of Prime Time, we see Heenan, this time with Mooney, sitting down with Andre and discussing how he wants to come back and wrestle again after getting surgery on his knees. We also get to see a clip of Andre knocking Heenan into aÖ pile of grapes, it looks like? I couldnít find the whole segment, but itís obvious Andre is still a little ticked off at Heenan after last year.

    GO: Andre the Giant embarrassed you on Prime Time Wrestling!

    BH: Hey, rolling around in grapes is very therapeutic! Itís great for the elbows, great for the back, great for the skin! Andre did me a favor!

    And they used to be so happy together.

    On Wrestling Challenge, Okerlund brings Heenan to the interview platform after a Mr Perfect match and talks to him about Andre. Heenan says he and Andre are actually all good now, theyíve worked things out. Andre shows up and Heenan tries to bluff his way through, though heís suddenly sweating bullets! Andre offers to shake his hand, then squeezes it until Heenan begs for mercy! Where is the Family, somebody help the Brain! Andre says he doesnít like Heenan anymore (you think??), and itís time he got the message! He steps on his hand too. Poor Heenan, but itís nice to see Andre still having fun.

    BH: Help me put my headset on, my hand just got smashed and crushed!

    GM: I wish heíd have grabbed you by the throat, then youíd be quiet!

    Probably should have seen that coming.


    Sir Robert of Heenan

    GM: The British Bulldog bringing his furry friend to the ring with him!

    BH: The Queen told me thatís the worst looking mutt sheís ever seen, and the dogís bad too.
    A very brief but strange note, for a very brief time Davey Boy starts bringing Matilda down to the ring again, just like he used to do in the tag team. Itís blink and you miss it, but I guess they decided that was a good idea for a hot second?

    GM: British Bulldog may have a broken bone!

    BH: Thatís ok, he can get another one from that ugly mutt he brings to ringside.
    I have no idea why, but Heenan gets involved in this feud when he presents ďThe Queen of EnglandĒ on Prime Time and elsewhere. The ďQueenĒ says she doesnít like Bulldogs and urges fans to support the Warlord, and even knights Heenan! But then we are treated to some backstage footage showing sheís just an actress Heenan hired! Why did he do this? I like to think heís still angry at Davey Boy for Wrestlemania IV, he had no right to sic a vicious dog on him!


    All hail King Booker! Wait, thatís something else.

    Davey Boy Smith vs. Warlord 3/24/91 WWF Wrestlemania VII

    GM: Are you even really watching the match?

    BH: Sure, thereís British Bulldog, thereís Warlord, and thereís Mr Incompetence, the referee.
    The match itself is fine, Davey Boyís final powerslam is certainly impressive and the action itself is far from bad. Itís certainly one of Warlordís best singles matches ever, thatís for sure!

    Awesomeness Rating: ***Ĺ


    Celebrity Hijinks

    GM: My good friend Willie Nelson will be at Wrestlemania, singing America the Beautiful!

    BH: Have they vacuumed him yet?

    GM: Have they what??

    BH: Maybe steam cleaned him?

    GM: Oh, would you stop?

    BH: I bet you could find Amelia Earhart in that beard.

    GM: Please!

    BH: And her plane.
    At Wrestlemania, we are treated to one of the strange backstage segments youíre likely to seeÖ Regis Philbin is a guest and heís interviewing Undertaker and Paul Bearer, who refuse to talk to him but do measure him for a coffin! Then Regis does mildly racist shtick to the legendary Genichiro Tenryu, of all people. We throw to Alex Trebek, who is being scared by Jake Roberts and Damian. Why do I bring this all up? Because when we cut to ringside, Heenanís splitting his sides with laughter and says heís the one who picked out the wrestlers for the celebrities to interview! Never change, Heenan.

    BH: I asked Alec Trebek who is the greatest manager in the WWF, and he said ďwho is Bobby Heenan? Double Jeopardy!Ē.

    GM: He meant youíre in double jeopardy at Wrestlemania!

    Dropping the Anvil

    BH: What a stupid haircut the Bossman has.

    Jim Neidhart: Looks like my haircut!

    BH: Oh, on you it looks good Anvil.
    For reasons I canít really fathom, after Wrestlemania Jim Neidhart is introduced as the third man in the booth for Challenge. Heís not awful, but who on earth looked at Heenan and Monsoon and thought they needed a third wheel tagging along??

    JN: The Legion of Doom is bigger, stronger, and smarter than ever!

    BH: Do you really think theyíre smart? They walk around with those two haircuts, and you think theyíre smart?

    Christ, Neidhart!


    Elsewhere in the WWFÖ

    AMERICA, FUCK YEAH

    Sergeant Slaughter (w/General Adnan) vs. Jim Duggan (w/Hulk Hogan), Flag Match, WWF Championship 3/15/91 WWF MSG

    GM: Slaughter complaining about a hair pull? He doesnít have anything to pull!

    BH: Well, it doesnít cost extra to complain.
    Of all the MSG shows to be available online and commentated by the Brain, why did it have to be the one headlined by Jim Duggan? Hogan comes out to Real American after Duggan has come out, and heís wearing army clothes, because AMERICA. I swear to god, at one point Duggan shoots boogers at the crowd. What is the appeal of this man?? The action is not good, as you might expect. Slaughter kicks at Hogan late in the match, so Hogan runs up and throws him off the top behind the refereeís back, because heís a dirty cheater. Slaughter and Hogan start fighting on the floor. Slaughter goes back into the ring and he and Duggan knock each other out, so Adnan decides to run in and cause the DQ. It should have already been called for Hoganís bullshit, but here we are. Hogan tries to help Duggan after the match but Slaughter and Adnan beat them up with the board and the flag. Slaughter leaves but Adnan comes back for the title. Hogan beats up Adnan and, for absolutely no reason, the referee. Hogan is really out of control in í91, heís on a direct track to his most insufferable incarnation, that awful 93-95 run.

    Awesomeness Rating: ĺ*

    Sergeant Slaughter (w/General Adnan) vs. Hulk Hogan, WWF Championship 3/24/91 WWF Wrestlemania VII

    GM: Slaughter, begging on his hands and knees!

    BH: Itís a good defensive move!
    So here it is, the main event that couldnít sell out a stadium so they had to move the event to a smaller arena. To make my life worth, Regis Philbin is on commentaryÖ dear god why? To his credit, Slaughter tries his best to make this into something with some really good bumping and stooging, and he almost succeeds. Hogan is really starting to suck at this point though, and this seems to go on FOREVER. Hogan gets very bloody and tears up an Iranian flag, then hulks up and wins. This was very dumb and Iím sad for Slaughter that he couldnít be involved in something better during his last big run. I think with the right opponent he could have had a last great match or two.

    Awesomeness Rating: *ľ

    After the show, we also see footage that Slaughter attacked Hogan backstage. The Iron Sheik also returns once again to the company, this time as ďColonel MustafaĒ, though they also acknowledge that he is the same guy as before. Weird. Not looking forward to 6 more months of this baloney.


    Savage vs. Warrior

    Randy Savage (w/Sensational Sherri) vs. Ultimate Warrior 3/24/91 WWF Wrestlemania VII

    You all know about this match, so I wonít bang on about it. Itís as great as ever, a true classic and by an enormous margin the best thing Warrior was ever involved in. Heenan spots Miss Elizabeth in the crowd early on, and claims says sheís just here hoping to see Savage lose. Iíve got to say, Savage and Sherri look absolutely amazing together, they fit together spectacularly for this run. Sherri continues to be a true hero in my book, smacking the living shit out of the Warrior with no fear. The post-match is even more famous than the match, of course, and even knowing the real life circumstances itís still hard not to be touched by some all time great storytelling.

    GM: How must it feel to lose your career but walk out with the woman you love!

    BH: Eh, Iíd rather have some money than a skirt.

    GM: You are a heartless individual.
    Awesomeness Rating: ****ĺ

    On the same Prime Time where theyíre at the night club, Savage slow dances with Liz and itís a pretty sweet moment. Heenan complains he got stuck dancing with Koko while Savage got Liz!


    Shot in the Dark

    BH: Itís such a shame to cover the Modelís face with a blindfold.

    GM: Please!

    BH: They should just trust him to wrestle with his eyes closed.
    Rick Martel vs. Jake Roberts, Blindfold Match 3/24/91 WWF Wrestlemania VII

    Iím actually very hyped for this one, I know some hate the stipulation but I think if anyone can do something great with it, itís these two. This is my first time watching the match, so weíll see! Martel starts panicking before the match even starts, which is a great touch for a heel.

    BH: This isnít fair! They should let Martel wrestle without the hood, put him on the honor system!
    I love how Jake relies on the crowd and points all around until the crowd cheers him in the right direction, I think thatís actually amazing psychology. The crowd is super hot every time Jake finds Martel, but once Martel has his hands on him heís able to get some shots in as well. Martel whips him into the ropes but Jake side steps on the rebound, flustering Martel to no end! This is one of the best crowd participation matches ever. Heenan and Monsoon do an amazing job acting like they canít even hear each other over the legitimately deafening crowd noise. Jake almost grabs the ref, thinking itís Martel! Martel finds the snake bag by mistake and freaks out.

    BH: Why doesnít Martel just lift up the hood and peek?

    GM: Thatís cheating!

    BH: So what?? Youíre wrestling a guy with a 500 pound snake waiting in the corner! So you cheat!
    Martel gets his hands on a chair but is disoriented again and hits the ringpost. Jake hears the sound and pulls him back in! Another great moment. Martel recovers and starts with the beat down, and he almost wins with the Boston Crab, but Jake escapes. Jake finds him and DDTs him, and when he finds him for the cover he gets the win!! That was as fun as I hoped it would be and more, obviously there are some limitations with this kind of stipulation but I think they used it to their advantage and had an incredibly unique and fun match. Anyone who doesnít like this one has got a very different view of wrestling than I do, thatís for sure!

    Awesomeness Rating: ****


    Eat The Rich

    GM: DiBiaseís got a match, but Virgil is making his way to the ring!

    BH: I know, heís going to ask for his old job back!

    GM: He is not!

    BH: What choice does he have? Go home and tell his family he got his tail kicked because he listened to a guy in a skirt?
    Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil (w/Roddy Piper) 3/24/91 WWF Wrestlemania VII

    Speaking of matches that are put together beautifully! Say what you will about Virgil, but in this moment and time the fans were rabid to see him succeed. He comes down with Piper on crutches, due to a recent accident.

    GM: Piper, still reeling from that motorcycle accident.

    BH: He was on his tricycle, and a stick got caught in the wheel and flipped him.
    They put everything together perfectly in this, they hid Virgilís limitations and tied them into the story, they used a hobbled Roddy Piper to increase the heat even further, and DiBiase gives an inspired performance to pull it all together. Ted loses by countout and sells it beautifully.

    BH: Roddy Piper is very intelligent. It only took him two months to teach Virgil how to spell his name.

    GM: Oh, will you stop?

    BH: I would have bet it would take him six months at least.
    After the match DiBiase attacks Piperís injured leg, and Sensational Sherri shows up to help him! Itís true love! Love of money! Thatís gonna be a hell of a partnership, no doubt. Virgil helps Piper back up after the match. This one isnít over, and I want to see more!

    GM: Whereís your honor, Brain?

    BH: Well, you can buy that. Thatís what DiBiase told me, anyway.
    Awesomeness Rating: ****


    Koko B Ware vs. Jacques Rougeau (w/Jimmy Hart) 3/15/91 WWF MSG

    GM: The Mountie doesnít even know what country heís in!

    BH: Heís with Jimmy Hart. You donít have to know a lot of things if you do that.
    DA MOUNTIE is here!! Iím excited for this, Jacques is throwing himself into the gimmick 110%, and heís got the always underrated Koko to match up with here at ĎMania.

    IíM DA MOUNTIE!!

    BH: I see Koko doesnít have his bird, he must have finally fricasseed it.

    GM: No, itís just that Frankie is molting right now!

    BH: Sure, heís the moldiest bird Iíve ever seen!
    The Birdman puts up a good fight and itís quite an entertaining match Iíd say, itís hard to think Koko has a shot to win but he lays in some nice offense when he gets the chance while still making Jacques look as good as possible. Mountie puts Koko down for the count in the end. After the match he handcuffs him and zaps him with his shock stick! Iím definitely excited for more of DA MOUNTIE!

    BH: Zap him, Mountie!

    GM: The man is unconscious!

    BH: I want to hear the hair on his body stand up!

    GM: You are a disgusting individual.

    BH: He zapped him so hard heís got a goatee now, he didnít have one before!

    Awesomeness Rating: ***ĺ


    The Streak Begins

    GM: Jimmy Snuka will be the Undertakerís opponent on the 23rd of March!

    BH: Services for Mr Snuka will take place on the 24th.
    Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Jimmy Snuka 3/24/91 WWF Wrestlemania VII

    Mercifully, a little while before this Paul Bearer has quietly replaced Brother Love as Takerís manager. Brother Love went from entertaining to grating shockingly fast, and I wonít miss him at all as an onscreen character, even though he did have his moments occasionally. This match is really nothing special at all, but Taker gets to put a legend into the ground and start what would turn out to be one of the most important stats in wrestling history.

    GM: Look at this youngster, scared stiff of the Undertaker!

    BH: No, itís because heís sitting too close to our ring announcer, Mike McGuirk.

    GM: Itís not because of her!

    BH: Are we sure Paul Bearer and Mike McGuirk are not the same person? Iíve never seen them together.
    Awesomeness Rating: **ľ


    A Nasty Title Change

    Bret Hart & Jim Neidhart vs. Brian Knobbs & Jerry Sags (w/Jimmy Hart), WWF Tag Team Championships 3/24/91 WWF Wrestlemania VII

    The Nasty Boys beat the Hart Foundation for the tag titles, thanks to some cheating. This is a huge downgrade for the titles, but they wanted to move Bret into singles action so here we are. Wish theyíd given them to Haku and Barbarian! By the way, Jimmy Hart has a huge stable at this point. The Nasties, Earthquake, Dino Bravo, and Jacques all celebrate with him backstage after the match.

    Awesomeness Rating: **ĺ


    Pay Your Taxes!

    IRS vignettes have begun! He criticizes people who make charitable donations and deduct them, saying theyíre greedy. Ha, this should be a fun gimmick.


    Miscellaneous Quotes

    BH: Power and Glory took care of the Legion of Doom before, theyíll do it again!

    GM: They had already been eliminated in that match!

    BH: Sure, but they still took care of them!

    GM: Yeah, thatís your style.

    BH: Well it worked!
    BH: When a wrestler rolls to the floor everyone says heís a coward, but if a quarterback runs down the sidelines everyone says heís a great strategist!

    AH: I donít know anything about football.

    GM: Whatís the correlation between wrestling and football?

    BH: Well, thereís lots of people in the seats, and they like some guys and donít like other guys, andÖ you can get popcorn!
    GM: Jannetty with a beautiful Crescent Kick! Thatís a move right out of Tanakaís playbook!

    BH: He stole another manís move! Thatís the lowest form of athletics.
    GM: I know why the Brain is upset, I know his record at past Wrestlemanias.

    AH: Miserable?

    GM: You got it! Right, Brain?

    BH: Donít talk to me, Iím watching the match!
    BH: Texas Tornado has the IQ of an ice cube.

    GM: Oh, stop!

    BH: In August!
    GM: Look at the height on that back body drop!

    BH: Change a bulb while youíre up there buddy, will you?
    GM: Kitao needs to make a tag!

    BH: They should throw in the towel!

    GM: Not ďthe towelĒ, his name is Kitao!

    BH: Eh, same to you.

    GM: Youíd have trouble if his name was Fred.

    BH: His name is Fred Kitao??
    GM: Do you know what it takes to be a sumo champion?

    BH: You have to eat 1,100 bowls of rice an hour.

    GM: Iím sorry I askedÖ

    BH: With chopstick. Just one.
    Phew, another month done, and that was a big one! And sadly, itís also Heenanís last Wrestlemania as an active manager. End of an era, in a way, but Heenanís still got some quality months of managing left, so weíll hang on to that. Haku and Barbarian may have eaten a big loss, but Mr Perfect still has that Intercontinental Championship, and Heenan is still the host of Prime Time and Wrestling Challenge, in spite of new formats and co-hosts. Thereís lots left to do in í91, so watch out for the month of April, coming your way very soon!

    Thatís it for today, humanoids. Iíll be back with the next entry, until then donít let the ham-and-eggers get you down, and stay awesome!

  2. #2
    I'm not sure if this is this was the blowoff to the Heenan/Bossman feud, but if so I am extremely disappointed. After feuding for nearly 6 months their should have been a definitive winner here. Not a very good ending to the feud, in my opinion.

    How the hell does Shawn lose here? From a booking perspective headed into the match The Rockers should have been kept strong. Perhaps they wanted to create some sympathy for The Rockers going into their match at Mania? Who knows for sure, but I still feel as though it's a little shoddy. At least The Rockers won in the end though.

    New Prime Time still sounded fun, though. I think there are only two things that need to be involved to make it fun: Heenan and shenanigans. There seemed to plenty of that.

    Heenan doesn't seem to be the type of character that ever forgets an enemy so there's no surprising that he was constantly throwing shade at Daveyboy. That's one thing I like about this era. Everyone remembers everything and doesn't try to play it off like nothing ever happened.

    I had no idea they had to move Wrestlemania 7 to a smaller stadium. I guess Hogan' s popularity was really waning at the time, ey.

    That blindfold match would definitely not work in today's wrestling climate. It would get shit on and the fans probably won't be that into it either. But it sounds about right for the Era.

    So I even have to say "another great entry here, Mizzie" as I always do? You already knows to be true. Looking forward to the next entry.

  3. #3
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    This was one of my favorites in some time. It was JAM-PACKED with a ton of stuff here!

    The blindfold match is a lot of fun if you enjoy it for what it is. If you're expecting a wrestling classic you're sure to be disappointed, if you appreciate it as an ideal stipulation for the story being told it works very well. I'm wondering if Anvil was added to Gorilla/Bobby not because the WWF thought they needed him, but because WWF thought maybe they could groom him. Sitting side by side with those two you'd almost HAVE to learn something about being a solid color commentator I'd think.

    I don't care how bad Regis is/was, there's no way he's Art Donovan bad. That's the worst announcer addition of all time. It was excruciatingly bad, and I cannot imagine worse.

    Hogan is a dick. There was a time where he seemed like a hero, eventually he just became a guy who seemed spoiled by his success and thought he deserved more (I'm speaking only of the character here). WWE could have turned him if they had the sense and he might have had a tremendous run. Instead they had him doing these weird quasi-heelish things that a guy preaching to train, say your prayers, and eat your vitamins shouldn't even be considering.

    I hated the Nasties, and I hated Dino Bravo, so as far as I'm concerned Jimmy could have done better with that group.

    I agree with you on Savage and Sherri as a pairing, and I have to say that I loved Sherri and Ted, and Sherri/HBK too even in WCW with Harlem Heat she was great. I didn't have the appreciation for her then that I do now, but man she was fantastic.

  4. #4
    The Brain
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    1,832
    Feed for the feeders!

    Don! I’m afraid you may be bound for disappointment here when it comes to Perfect/Bossman, and I get it. After such a successful feud, modern logic dictates we need a decisive winner in the final match. You might argue that WWF wrote themselves into a corner on this one. They needed to stay with Hennig as the workhorse IC champion, but they also needed to keep Bossman hot as a top babyface midcarder, so nobody could really stand to lose here. Should they have bit the bullet one way or another? Maybe so, maybe not. I think this is where you see the pain of Rick Rude leaving the feud just as it was getting started, I think he could have survived a clean loss and there wouldn’t be a title to worry about. Still, I really do recommend this feud overall, it was a hell of a lot of fun.

    I also thought Shawn dropping a loss to Kato before ‘Mania was weird, but I guess it bears mentioning that the MSG shows sometimes seem to exist in their own little world. For example, the Rockers/Fuji feud continues into this month in the New York market, despite not really existing on national TV. A holdover from the old days I guess!

    Gotta agree, as long as Prime Time has Heenan it was still worth watching!

    Hogan’s popularity was indeed dropping at this time, and the whole overwhelming patriotism fad wasn’t nearly as strong as it was in the 80s. It’s only to fair to mention the official line from WWE is that they received a bomb threat for the original stadium and that was the reason for the move, but a little analysis shows that even if that was true, it was far from the only reason for the move.

    It's funny, I actually wonder if the blindfold gimmick could get over on NXT or the right indy promotion. All you really need is an audience that cares more about characters and story than nonstop action, and I think you could still pull it off if you did it just right. It would be a very hard sell though, for sure. Thanks so much for the read and feed man, I love it!

    Ray! This was a huge month, and the next one is looking massive as well so stay tuned!

    You and I are right there together on the blindfold match working just right for what it needed to be.

    As for Neidhart joining the booth, they may have wanted to groom him but mainly I think they realized he wasn’t worth much in the ring without Bret, who was going solo, and because they hit a period where every show needed a three man booth for a while. On Superstars they are running Vince/Piper/Savage in the booth, which is about as batshit as it sounds!

    Regis wasn’t actually horrible, he just stuck out like a sore thumb. There have definitely been worse commentators though, I might take him over about half the current WWE crop!

    I do often wonder about the possibility of a WWF Hogan heel turn. I don’t think there was any chance of doing it at this time, because Hogan wasn’t onboard at the time. Even in ’96 he had to be heavily talked into it, and that was after his goal of heading to Hollywood full time had flopped. You could definitely argue Hogan is starting to put one foot out the door of wrestling at this time already, which may account for his lazy, outlandish promos!

    I also have pretty much never liked the Nasty Boys. I don’t mind Bravo as much, but he’s just sort of there. DA MOUNTIE should definitely be Jimmy’s pride and joy at this time!

    Sensational Sherri was one of the best ever, no question! Thanks for stopping by, next entry coming very soon!

  5. #5
    Having gotten into wrestling during '98, it's hard to imagine Big Bossman ever being a babyface. This was gold though, homie. Heenan's shenanigans are at an all-time here (those dance moves in the club though!). I was reading all his classic quotes above when it suddenly dawned on me... whatcha gonna do once you reach the end of Brain's WWE run!? It'll be a sad day when these are no longer running wild in the CF. I'm sure you'll have something lined up by then. In the meantime, please keep the Heenan Variety Show chugging along!

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