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  1. #1
    Mediocrity at it's finest kingzak13's Avatar
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    May 2018

    Kingzak Presents King of the RNG 8

    Merry holidays, I guess

    Whatís up guys, Kingzak is back in action with another round of King of the RNG. I reckon this is going to be the last episode for the year, not because Iím retiring it or anything, just because it is near the end of the year and I need to focus on my end of year projects, Iím planning on doing two different projects to cap off 2018 and send us roaring into 2019, so for now this will be the last episode, at least until mid-February when WWE have pissed me off with shitty PPVís and I want to watch something else while working on the later end of the series.

    But that is a problem for the future, right now it is time to find and enjoy some wrestling action, for those of you unfamiliar with this concept, it is quite simple. I use a Random Number Generator to find a date of the year, Iíll then use it to select a random card, and then a random match. And then if I can find it, I watch the match and review it. Simple enough, so without further ado, letís begin.

    Matches RNGíed thus far

    Jeff Hardy vs Chris Jericho WWE Raw Aug 26th 2002
    Test vs Shane McMahon WWE SummerSlam Aug 22nd 1999
    Big Show vs Sabu WWE SummerSlam Aug 20th 2006
    Judas Mesias vs Senshi TNA Impact Dec 27th 2007
    Mark Henry vs Evan Bourne WWE ECW May 26th 2009
    Saturn vs Goldberg WCW Spring Stampede April 19th 1998
    Jushin Liger vs Brian Pillman WCW Nitro September 4th 1995
    Kanyon vs Tajiri WWE Raw September 10th 2001
    Kaitlyn vs Layla WWE SmackDown March 8th 2011
    Candice Michelle vs Maria vs Victoria vs Torrie Wilson WWE Raw October 15th 2006
    Eddy Guerrero vs Chavo Guerrero WCW The Great American Bash Jun 14 1998
    MVP vs The Miz WWE Royal Rumble Jan 31 2010
    Mike Tolbert vs Hammer WCW Saturday Night Taping Oct 6th 1998
    Evan Bourne vs Matt Hardy WWE Cyber Sunday Oct 26th 2008

    Date: 10th April
    Cards: 36

    Card: (27) Mon, Apr 10th 2006 WWE Monday Night Raw
    Matches: 5
    Match Chosen: (4) Maria Kanellis vs Mickie James

    Somehow, this match exists. Why does every womens match exist somewhere Ö actually, Iím not sure I want an answer to this.

    Here is the link for anyone who wants to watch along.

    The video comes in with the commentary talking about Chavo Guerrero. And we get this insightful line from Johnathan Coachman

    ďWhen you quit, youíre a quiterĒ

    In case you need proof that commentary has sucked way longer than these last few years.

    Mickie James is out first and Mickie is dressed a Trish, she looks eerily like Trish, though that may just be the poor quality video. Maria is out next to generic dance music, her entering to not Zebrahead is weird to me.

    The show cuts to adverts but we cut back in just as the match begins and the commentary have subway Ö again it may be the poor quality (or due to me not knowing what he really looks like) but Joey Styles kinda reminds me of Subwayís Jared. Coachman steals Joeyís sandwich. By the time the bell rings this match is gonna be like a minute long.

    Mickie immediately with strikes, a weak ass irish whip leads into a roll up for Maria who gets a one count. Waist lock but Mickie fights off with strikes, Mickie hits a big kick to the gut. Mickie keeps attacking and then slams Maria. Mickie goes up and misses the dive as Maria rolls out the way and the announcers continue to talk about sandwiches.

    Maria with a boot but Mickie comes back with a hair pull back breaker. Mickie lifts her into a fireman carry, but Maria falls out into a roll up, but she failed to actually do the rolling up part. She quickly re attempts to roll Mickie up, for barely a one.

    Maria with a shoulder block and a couple forearms, Mickie comes back with a spinning kick and then hits the Mick Kick for the three count.

    Winner: Mickie James

    Trish comes to the ring dressed as Mickie James and very briefly when Trish slides in you can see up her skirt. Trish starts fan girling all over Mickie, raises her hand in victory, and then they kiss. Trishes music starts and Mickie rolls out and backs away confused.

    That was not good. Mickie definitely wasnít the wrestler she is today, and I think this may have been Mariaís first match (one of her first if anything) the ending sequence of the match is the only part that looked good enough to be considered actual wrestling. Iím giving this one 0.5 stars, though at least half of that is for the cosplay by Trish and Mickie.

    Ok letís find a new match to watch.

    Date: August 29th
    Cards: 36

    Oh my. We got the possibility of SummerSlam 88, 92 or 94 here. Fingers crossed for a high number here.

    Card: (26) Tue, Aug 29th 1995 WWF Superstars of Wrestling Taping #469
    Matches: 4
    Match Chosen: (4) Savio Vega vs Sycho Sid

    I found it, that makes two matches in a row that Iíve found. Must be my lucky day.

    Here is the link for anyone who wants to watch along

    We open as the announce team discuss a tag match for next week. Savio Vega makes his entrance. Meanwhile the announcers plug the sponsors, Leviís (I know what they are), pepboys (No fucking clue) and dairy management incorporated (I didnít realise a company had a monopoly on American milk). Vince draws attention back to the match and we cut to commercial, we a single frame of ďThe New DodgeĒ This is the most product placement I Ö actually, this is the most product placement in any column in LOP History.

    Savio is wrapping up his intro, Sycho Sid is out next with Ted DiBiase, I didnít realise the two were ever aligned. The Commentary talk about Sycho attacking someone earlier. The two stare at each other for a good ten seconds before the bell rings.

    Lock up, Sid in control in the corner. A few trikes and Vega makes a comeback with strikes, Sid reverses a whip and goes for a boot but Vegaís got the ropes and he just keeps chopping away at Sid. Mounted punches and then some more quick strikes, Sid grabs Savio by the throat and nails a Chokeslam.

    Ted Dibiase is smiling, apparently we are on the week of a PPV. Sid goes for a powerbomb, but the fans start to cheer, and Bam Bam Bigelow slides into the ring. He flips Sid over for the DQ

    Winner: Sycho Sid

    One of the godwins is at ringside going for Dibiase, Sid rolls out as Bigelow talks to Vega. The Godwin advance on DiBiase with a creepy grin. DiBiase runs away and instead Godwin dumps his bucket on Sid, to wake him up. Sid gets a chair and hits the ring apron. The faces retreat as Vince gets excited at a superstar getting covered in ďSlopĒ. The more things change, the more things stay the same.

    That was, quick. There were bright spots, Savioís quick strikes and speed were not something I expected of the 90s. Sid had a pretty solid Chokeslam. The problem is that I pretty much just described the whole match, the post match stuff didnít work for me, I donít know why Bam Bam was there. Iím giving this one 0.75 stars, could have hit 1 but just not enough there to get into.

    So weíve had about 5 minutes of actual wrestling so far, I guess that means we need to move to a third match.

    Date: February 17th

    50 cards, fucking hell that is a lot. on the plus side, another three WWE PPVís have taken place on this day, so luck be on my side.

    Card: (27) Mon, Feb 17th 2003 WWE Monday Night Raw
    Matches: 8
    Match Chosen: (1) RVD vs Lance Storm

    I found it, that makes three in a row.

    The video is struggling to load, that could be my internet or something else. But here it is if you want to watch along.

    Ok, with a ten minute video length, hopefully we can get more than a couple minutes of wrestling for it.

    RVDís music hits, video freezes in video, before continuing as Rob Van Dam makes his entrance. I love that entrance.

    Kaneís music hits and out he comes as RVDís tag team partner Ö what an odd ball team. But then considering his fire powers, Kane always has a light.

    Lance Storm and William Regal are out next and apparently these two teams are facing off at No Way Out this Sunday.

    Bell rings, lock up and Storm with a takedown, RVD back rolls over him and hits a monkey flip that Storm lands on his feet, RVD with a spinning heel kick to drop him. Storm retreats to talk with Regal. the action resumes and King is talking about how he missed JR, Storm in control in the corner and the video crashes.

    One refresh later and we are back where we were.

    Storm with shoulder in the corner and then a big knee. He whips RVD and RVD counters with a lot of acrobatic shit, and a corkscrew crossbody for a one count. RVD goes to attack but storm counters him to the apron, RVD goes to suplex him out but Storm is on the apron too. Storm with a bulldog into the barrier.

    Storm rolls him back in and hits a springboard forearm, for a two count. Storm takes him to the corner and his a series of strikes, the ref backs him up and RVD tries to fight back and nails a big dropkick for three slaps of the canvas, but I donít think that timed right so the match continues.

    Cut to Regal, Storm with a jawbreaker and then a leg drop, Storm with the Regal Stretch as we get an ad Ö and then a second ad. What the fuck is this bullshit, none of the other matches had ads in them. The crowd getting behind RVD, he begins to fight out and JR starts talking about Triple H vs Scott Steiner Ö oh god I remember hearing about that one.

    RVD fights out of the hold to his feet and nails a couple elbows, RVD with a whip but Storm with a kick, he goes for a roundhouse but RVD with one of his own. Both are back up and trade forearms, RVD goes to sweep the leg but he gets him on the back swing. RVD with a couple clotheslines, and shoulders in the corner now, RVD with a big kick from the second rope for a two count.

    RVD with a strike, Storm goes for a northern lights suplex but RVD counters, hits a big kick and then a standing moonsault for a two count. RVD goes for a suplex but Lance slides out sends him into the ropes and nails a roll up half crab, Roll up submission Ö I like that idea. Storm yelling, RVD crawling to the ropes as the fans cheer.

    RVD gets the ropes, Storm pulls him away breaking the hold, still got the leg, RVD with a spinning kick to drop them both. RVD with Rolling Thunder and he covers, Storm gets his foot on the ropes. Storm with a stun gun to the ropes but RVD counters with a kick. RVD heads to a corner, changes his mind and heads to the corner with Regal, Regal tries to get involved but RVD knocks him away.

    RVD is up top, Kane and Regal fighting on the outside has RVD distracted and Storm drops him with a punch but RVD punches him out of the superplex. RVD with the Five Star Frog Splash for the three count.

    Winner: Rob Van Dam

    Kane enters the ring and the two celebrate. Kane makes the ring explode like he does, and we get a replay of the frog splash. The two continue to celebrate.

    That was actually pretty alright. Both men had the sort of pace that youíd want from a wrestling match, and Storm was smart to try and keep RVD grounded. I reckon that if either of those two were in their prime now, they would make it big in the WWE. Iím gonna give this one three stars, it was ultimately an enjoyable match that I canít really fault, just straight up actual wrestling stuff.

    And thus we are another three matches through WWEís history, two completely abysmal, one worth a watch. that said, I am happy to have gotten another good match from the RNG, ultimately while there may have been more bad matches, there is more minutes of good wrestling here than there is of bad. If youíve skipped ahead to the end because the first two matches sucked, go back and watch that third one, it is quite pleasant.

    And on that note, it is time I bid you all a fond farewell. King of the RNG is going into hibernation for the winter, next expect date will be in the case that Elimination Chamber or Fast Lane disappoint me and I lose will to go on with my winter projects (which will likely still be going by March given my history.), as always I hope you have enjoyed todayís column and I will see you next time.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    May 2018
    ~ I can't recall whether or not there was a demand for more babyfaces at the time but it felt like the fan support Mickie received at WrestleMania 22 (and in the months that followed) forced creative to turn her by SummerSlam. Unlike Maria, James is one of the few women I've always enjoyed watching wrestle; even during that era. And yeah we were constantly catching an eyeful from Mickie's skimpy outfits in those early days.

    ~ Pep Boys is actually an American automotive store. I used to buy new brake pads from there back in the day. As for Vega/Sid, yawn city. It kinda surprised me that Dibiase was still with the company by then. Pretty sure he split for WCW within the next year along with a bunch of other big names.

    ~ Lance Storm's notorious for being one of those dudes who could reel you in simply on workrate but then lose you just as fast when it came time to cut promos. He'd fit in perfectly on RAW today come to think of it... Good stuff, Zak.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Sep 2018
    The cosplay thing between Mickie and Trish was due to their feud leading up to Mania that year where Trish was Mcikies idol and she tried to be like Trish. Very interesting angle actually. Paige and AJ Lee also replicated that feud a few years later.

    I also had know idea that Dibiase and Sid were allies. I've watched a match of Vega before (against Austin at Wrestlemania) and I remember him being fairly quick.

    You can't go wrong with an RVD match though. He was one of my first favourite wrestlers and I remember everything from that period very clearly. Definitely an oddball pairing with Kane, but it was at the end of their run when Kane removed his mask for the first time.

    Good stuff, dude.

  4. #4
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    very briefly when Trish slides in you can see up her skirt
    Must watch that match.

    Kane always has a light
    This made me lol too!

    Got to admit, I sometime consider stealing this concept and trying it myself.
    Last edited by DynamiteBillington; 12-05-2018 at 09:57 AM.

  5. #5
    Mediocrity at it's finest kingzak13's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Feedback time

    Quote Originally Posted by SkitZ View Post
    James is one of the few women I've always enjoyed watching wrestle; even during that era. And yeah we were constantly catching an eyeful from Mickie's skimpy outfits in those early days.
    I get the feeling the skimpy outfits may have played into that first part.

    I reckon that both RVD and Lance Storm would have been great additions to the modern day roster.
    I guess the lack of promo skills is why he was teaming with Regal, so William could do the heavy lifting on the mic.

    @Don: I remember hearing about it. It also gets brought up during Mickie James' Road to WrestleMania mode in one of the old WWE games.
    I am curious to see how it pans out, so I guess it worked.

    I swear at some point Kane teamed up with The Hurricane too … dude has a lot of oddball pairings.

    @Dynamite: If you wanna have a go at it, go ahead. I won't stop anyone having some fun with an idea I made.

    Thanks to everyone for reading.

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