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  1. #1

    Me, Myself & SkitZ SnapChat (About Stuff)


    Me, Myself & SkitZ SnapChat
    ( About Stuff )
    ________________________








    SkitZ: So after nearly 9 years of wrestling abstinence, HBK comes out of retirement to work a tag match in Saudi Arabia???



    Me: Hey at least he’s not another Attitude Era star taking up prime real estate on the Mania card.



    Myself: Oh just you wait.



    SkitZ: DX versus BOD is something that barely belongs in WWE 2K19; let alone an actual wrestling ring. I just don’t understand who benefits from wheeling those four bum horses out of the glue factory.



    Myself:



    SkitZ: And even after they’re finally put out to pasture, you’ve gotta figure we’re in for another half dozen Shield reunions.



    Myself: Two-thirds of the trio anyway.



    SkitZ: Eh just dye Kassius Ohno’s hair black and say Roman got fat while he was gone.



    Me: That’s not how chemo works.



    Myself: LOL. You really think going the fake Diesel route’s the solution?



    SkitZ: It’s worked for McIntyre, hasn’t it?



    Myself: Nah Drew might be in better shape but he’s no Kevin Nash.



    Me: You mean Diesel.



    Myself: They’re the same person...



    Me: ...Yeah so are we.



    Myself: What?



    SkitZ: To hell with that bible thumpin’ Shawn Michaels. I think this whole situation just goes to show that you can’t trust any man with two first names.



    Me: Are you doubting Jason Jordan’s claims that Kurt’s his daddy?



    Myself: Actually that makes alot of sense. I mean you can’t believe a word that comes outta Michael Cole’s mouth.



    SkitZ: And Glen Jacobs is a politician so...



    Me: SkitZ, you’re a genius!



    SkitZ: That makes one of us.



    Me: But don’t we collectively make up half the active people in this forum?



    Myself: Ugh SkitZ you’re as insufferable as those internerds who refer to WWE as “New York”.



    SkitZ: Speaking of social media, how about Enzo’s Uncle Rico cosplay at Survivor Series while trying to hijack the STAPLES Center?



    Me: I thought it was a great marketing scheme!



    Myself: Fuck that guy. All Enzo did in WWE was promote himself while neutering the Cruiserweight Division.



    SkitZ: I kinda wish he’d neutered Drake Maverick before the company pissed away his potential too.



    Myself: Hopefully Vince puts a muzzle on Lio Rush soon while he’s at it. Who knew RAW would become unbearable without the relentless presence of THE BIG DOG.



    SkitZ: For real. Aside from the usual Elias segment, McIntyre’s about the only shining constant on the show.



    Me: Agreed. Smart money says he faces Lesnar for the Universal Title at WM35!



    Myself: I dunno about all that but it does seem like Vince is trying to slide Drew into Roman’s spot.



    SkitZ: I mean McIntyre was McMahon’s original chosen one. He’s lengthy, swole, veiny and explosive; all the things that get a rise out of Vince.



    Me: Plus even though he left and grew his brand elsewhere, Drew’s initial roots were planted in WWE. Heath Slater should do the same.



    Myself: And take the third man of their old band with him.



    SkitZ: Honestly I’m just happy that Jinder’s been demoted to a role more befitting of his talents; Tiger Ali Singh’s successor.



    Me: Imagine if they gave Mustafa Ali the spot Jinder was in last year...



    Myself: Ha! He’d have to be half a foot taller just to make the initial cut.



    SkitZ: Yeah where the hell did that come from?



    Me: Well Ali has the ability to cut believable promos so he’s a step up on Mahal right there already. Then I pictured how kickass those programs with Orton and Styles could’ve been had SmackDown’s agents gone with a guy who wasn’t…



    Myself: A giant bottle of Lunesta?



    SkitZ: Damn in hindsight that probably would’ve worked out awesome. Every time I catch Ali competing on 205 Live, he kills it like the Saudi consulate.



    Me: Jesus Christ, SkitZ.



    Myself: I’m just baffled that Mustafa Ali hasn’t held a title in 2018 yet Cedric reigned for 6 months while he steered the Cruiserweight Division in snooze control the entire time.



    SkitZ: To be fair, alot of fans have voiced the same complaints towards AJ’s WWE Title run and he carried the belt for twice as long.



    Myself: Clearly Styles was doing something wrong because Pete Dunne’s been UK Champ for 560 days and counting and nobody’s clamoring for him to drop the belt.



    Me: Did you guys read that recent interview on the Main Page where The Bruiserweight said he wanted to wrestle AJ in the near future?



    Myself: Not if Fenichel posted it.



    Me: Either way, sign me up!



    SkitZ: I think the biggest difference between the two is their styles (pun intended) and demeanors. AJ isn’t an imposing figure or larger than life personality. You get the sense that his WWE run’s starting to shift into retirement tour territory. Dunne meanwhile is young and a complete animal. He’s had a chip on his shoulder ever since the UK Title tournament and embodies that punishing British style. So despite his stocky frame, you can buy into The Bruiserweight cutting any opponent down to size.



    Me: He’s the British Daniel Bryan!



    Myself: Perhaps but I’m not sold on this sudden heel turn of his. Freeman summed it up perfectly when we were talking about Bryan the other day: “It’s weird, I’ve never thought he suited the heel role in WWE. It worked well in ROH and he can pull it off okay, but he’s such a natural face that it just doesn’t sit right with me.”



    Me: You still keep in touch with Freeman?



    Myself: It’s called Twitter, fool. He’s totally right though. Bryan’s arguably the only guy in WWE today who has the backstory and crowd support to pull off the white meat babyface. Unfortunately, creative fudged his return right off the bat with that shit feud with Cass and half-assed Team Hell No reunion. People love to hate on the abusive Authority figure but it’s still effective when handled correctly. For instance, you could’ve had Shane betray D-Bry shortly after WM34 and spend the next several months torturing Bryan. Then Miz dethrones AJ en route to becoming McMahon’s corporate champion and reignites his rivalry with Bryan who goes onto win the Royal Rumble, challenge for the gold at Mania, etc. We’ve been down a familiar path with Bryan before but it would’ve offered us more than Road Dogg has over these last 8 months.



    SkitZ: Fantasy booking aside, they allowed Bryan to cool off so much that he was bound to start getting booed when matched against hot heels. Fighting for his dreams and teaming with Brie didn't do Bryan any favors outside of their bedroom. Sometimes you’ve gotta fight dirty to win and this way D-Bry stays ahead of the curb instead of gettin’ left in the dust. It’s the wisest play at this point.



    Myself: Yeah we’ll see if you still think so come April when Shane beats Bryan and becomes WWE Champion.



    SkitZ: I mean he is the Best in the World so I’d expect nothing less.



    Myself:



    Me: After watching Goatface kick the crap out of Brock and then unveil the New Daniel Bryan on the following SmackDown, I’m 100% on board.



    Myself: I just find it hilarious whenever a heel uses the excuse of “nobody cared while I was sitting at home” as if we don’t live in an age dominated by social media.



    Me: Hey everybody needs an angle.



    SkitZ: You mean like Conquistador Kurt?



    Myself: Next thing you know he’ll be managing the Lucha House Party.



    Me: Uh I think the last thing Kurt needs is to be placed in that type of atmosphere… He’s a former addict remember!



    Myself: I hope Jason Jordan returns and runs him over with a milk truck. That’s my wish for your Christmas collabo, SkitZ.



    Me: Wait when do you need our stuff by? I didn’t get a deadline.



    Myself: Before the 25th you fuckin’ moron.



    Me: I‘ve got half a mind to unfollow you, asshole. Your attitude stinks.



    SkitZ: Alright I’m done with this conversation. You two drive me crazy.





  2. #2
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    Thing is, everyone wanted Miz to get the title, Bryan to win the Rumble, then recreate the ending of WM30 so much (myself included) it was probably a safe bet it was never going to happen.

    Drew v Brock at Mania? I say it's still too soon for Drew, which probably means it's going to happen.

  3. #3
    Member #25 SirSam's Avatar
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    So this is what you do when no one wants to collaborate with you because they aren't sure when the next time you're gona bugger off is.

    Jokes jokes jokes, you know I love having you back man.

    Wouldn't it be funny if when Kassius Ohno finally gets to the main roster he has to do it by impersonating someone else. Poor dude just seems to float down in NXT popping up once every few months so we can all comment saying "wow, Ohno is finally getting in shape" or "fark, is Ohno even working out these days?"

    As for Big Daddy Drew, you just know that he is gona get some sort of push but I do wonder if he really is the guy to move the needle. In 2018 I just feel like you need something more than a guy who is you'd charitably call two dimensional. He can have a good match in a pinch but since he came back he hasnt had a single singles feud. Anyhow I won't listen to anyone who doesn't thunk Seth Rollins should be the one to beat Lesnar. Him or Kazuchika Okada (how deep are your pockets and big are your balls Vince?)



    @Sir_Samuel

  4. #4
    Forgotten Ponder
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    Lacks nudes

  5. #5
    I don't feel anything about Shawn cominf back really. I didn't watch the match because it meant absolutely nothing to me. Hey, at least it wasn't in a singles match. But you know what happens when you scratch the itch, it just itches more. So we will just have to see about him wrestling again.

    Enzo is a douche. Getting kicked out of airplanes and getting tackled at Survivor Series all for marketing for a shitty rap album? Pathetic.

    I've given up watching RAW too. Romans exit had a huge impact on the show but besides that there are more than a few things inherently wrong with the show. There are still a few bright spots with Drew and Elias, but you have to be skeptical of how WWE will be booking those guys. I still can't believe how underwhelmed I am with the Seth/Dean feud. That shit scares me.

    Always a fun column with you, Skitz.

  6. #6
    The Brain
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    I love these "Dancing With Myself" kind of columns. Some absolutely great lines in here, Skitzoid.

    I've been hearing that Drew McIntyre finally got good for years now... just don't see it. If he's the new face more power to him, but I'm not coming back for that. Heel Bryan is much more tempting for me, though it's rather wild that we got to the point where that was the best option. Can't lie though, it's nice to know he fought his way back to the title, even if he won it in the most random time and place possible.

    But the big question is, where or where are the continuing adventures of PS Eliminator??

  7. #7
    Dyno ~ Had Bryan remained a face, it definitely would've been interesting to see if things played out that way. Isn't it funny though how drastically different the fan reactions were between knowing about Reigns/Lesnar and Bryan/Miz as Mania main events a year in advance? Part of me feels like people will turn or grow bored of any angle if given too much advance notice.


    Samuel ~ Haha it's because I have everybody booked for the Christmas Wishlist Extravaganza! I quite agree with you on Seth being the guy to slay The Beast (hell you could've made that case for WM34) but it depends on a variety of factors. As much as I'd love to see Rollins win the 2019 Rumble and enter into the Universal Title picture, how long is this feud with Ambrose gonna stretch on for? It seems like they're just getting started.


    Randall ~ Damn true. I mainly only used the SnapChat bit in the column title because of the quick back-and-forth dialogue format. Now that you mention it though, this didn't take advantage of the social media aspects like I did with Tinder Loving Care and Certified Gmails. Shame on me! I'll make a point to throw some nudes in there for ya next time, cutie.


    Don ~ I haven't yet watched HBK's return match at Crown Jewel out of fear that it will further tarnish my respect towards how he initially retired. And yes Enzo is a bum. Vince appears to be at a loss with how to keep RAW afloat without Roman there to build the show around. A travesty when you consider the amount of talent on that roster. The sooner Seth and Dean start having actual matches the better.


    Mizfit ~ I knew there had to be at least one crazy bastard out there clamoring for more P.S. Eliminator! There will come a time to unleash more of his random adventures upon the world I assure you. And for the record, I don't put much stock in McIntyre either. It's more of Drew just being in the right place at a dull time in WWE history. RAW's been so inconsistent that it's made McIntyre look better because of his strong booking since returning to the main roster. Vince sees dollar signs in Drew because he's made money off of dudes with similar qualities in the past. Snore city.

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