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  1. #1
    Mediocrity at it's finest kingzak13's Avatar
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    The Unofficial Columns Forum Top Trumps ULTIMATE TOURNAMENT 2018 (Dynamite Kid bracket Round 1)


    Let battle resume continuing

    Whatís up guys, Kingzak is back in action with another round of the Writer of the Year 2018 Top Trumps Tournament. We are just over half way through round one and have already said farewell to several talented writers, and today we will see another four writers eliminated from the tournament. So without further ado, letís dive in to the Dynamite Kid bracket.


    Our match ups for today




    Skitz vs Oliver


    A clash of two of LOPís most profilific comedy writers, will Oliver be made to taste the rainbow or will he Bearly make it through?

    Skitz is out first, making his way down to the ring, interacting with the fans and posing in the ring. Oliverís music hits and he makes his way out to the stage, Oliver poses on the stage as his music is cut. The Bearly Reviewing theme hits and ĎBear joins him on the stage, holding a Bearly Reviewing flag (coming soon to all good retailers), the two make their way to the ring.

    Oliver grabs a mic from ringside and joins Bear in the ring.

    Oliver: You honestly didnít expect me to come down to the ring without my best friend forever by my side

    Bear: Greetings grapple fans; the excellence in reviewing is here. Unfortunately I am not allowed to join Oli in the ring but my spirit will be in there, flowing through him.

    Bear leaves the ring with the Bearly flag, and stand at ringside ready to cheer Oliver on.

    Skitz charges Oli quick and lays into him with a quick flurry of offense, Oliver is back into the corner and the ref backs him off. The two have a test of strength and Oli takes control with a rear waist lock takedown. Skitz back to his feet and the two continue to grapple, the two trade control and Ollie tosses Skitz to the ground, he goes to get Skitz but Skitz punches him in the face.

    Skitz with an armbreaker and then he goes for a kick but Oliver rolls out the way and catches Skitz with a northern lights suplex, Oli goes for a punch but Skitz ducks it and hits a back suplex from it. Skitz with a quick armbar, but Oliver powers up as Skitz releases and Oli hits a snap suplex. Oli goes to the second rope to dive but Skitz with a dropkick dropping him in the corner, Skitz charges but Ollie trips him into the turnbuckles. Oliver follows up with a reverse DDT, and then a butterfly suplex.

    Oliver with a big German suplex to Skitz, he goes to stomp the arm but Skitz rolls out the way and hits an armbreaker, Skitz runs the ropes but Oliver with a knee to the gut, Oliver with elbows to the chest, and the he turns it into a hammerlock, Skitz fights out with an elbow and then a drop toe hold, Skitz with an elbow drop to the back and then goes after the arm.

    Skitz grabs Oliver but Oli counters out into an arm trap suplex into an arm bar, Skitz manages to get it into a roll up


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    Kickout and release from Oliver
    Skitz with a Russian leg sweep, Bear gets on the apron and Skitz is distracted. Oliver charges him but Skitz ducks, narrowly avoiding hitting Bear, Skitz with a jawbreaker dropping Oli. Skitz heads to the top rope and dives off with a big splash. He keeps it held to cover,


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    Kickout from Oliver
    Skitz with an elbow to the head, he gets Oli up and goes for a scoop slam but Oli slides out the back and hits a big kick to the head. Oliver covers



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    Kickout from Skitz
    Oliver with a rear chinlock wearing Skitz down. Skitz fights back to his feet and hits a double arm DDT. Both men are down. Bear is trying to motivate Oli to get up, Skitz crawls on top of Oliver for the cover.


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    Kickout
    Skitz sits up next to Ollie, Oliver with a surprise sleeper hold. Skitz manages to get a hold of the ropes. Oliver with a quick arm lock but Skitz with a punch to the ribs, Skitz charges but Oli catches him and gets him on his shoulder for an airplane spin. Oliver taunts as Skitz staggers about. Skitz whips Oliver to the corner. Skitz gets Oli up top and hits a superplex, Bear yells from ringside to distract Skitz as Oli gets back up. Skitz with a quick piledriver to put Oli back down, Skitz covers.


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    Kickout by Oli
    Skitz gets Oliver up, and hits a big DDT busting Oliver open. Oliver rolls out of the ring. Skitz follows him out but Bear stands in the way, Oli with an uppercut and then a crucifix. Oli slams Skitzí arm in the ring post and then the action returns to the ring with the two in opposite corners. Skitz charges but Oliver hops up to the top rope and Skitz hits hard on the turnbuckles, Oliver dives with a tornado DDT. Oli heads back to the top rope and dives with an elbow drop and nails it. Oliver covers,

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    Kickout by Skitz
    Oliver takes a quick breather as Skitz gets up, Oliver with a back suplex, Oliver covers

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    Kickout
    Skitz gets to one knee and Oliver hits a DDT and covers

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    Kickout by Skitz
    Oliver gets Skitz up and sends him to the corner. Oliver charges and Skitz dodges and Oli eats turnbuckles, Skitz with a bulldog from the corner, Skitz covers


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    Bear pulled Oli out of the ring at the last second; Bear comforts him and holds him up. Skitz yells for him to get back in the ring. Bear is helping Oli stand at ringside, he grabs a flask from his pocket and offers it to Oli. Skitz runs up the turnbuckles and leaps out onto the two at ringside; Bear pushes Oli partially out of the way, taking the brunt of the rainbow writer. All three are down at ringside.

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    Oli is back up and rolls under the bottom rope and lays in the ring
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    Oli is back up and Skitz is slowly pushing himself up.

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    Skitz is up leaning against the barricade

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    Skitz slides back in just in the nick of time.

    Oliver charges Skitz and Skitz ducks it and sends Oli to the apron, Skitz goes to attack but Oli with a knee to the head knocking him away. Oliver slingshots in with a cannonball, dropping Skitz hard. Oliver drapes an arm over for the cover


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    Kickout by Skitz
    Oli starts laying into Skitz with punches, busting Skitzí nose. Oliver locks in the sleeper hold, Skitz struggles hard and gets to his feet trying to break it. But Skitz starts to fade away and finally passes out in the hold.

    Winner: Oliver

    Oliver releases the hold and Skitz collapses to the floor. Bear rushes in the ring and lifts Oli in a hug. Bear carries Oli out of the ring and the two celebrate the win.


    Both men gave it their all here, I canít really think of much else to say without revealing the card


    Another of top half bites the dust, Skitzí downfall here is what Skitzí downfall always tends to be, the somewhat stop/start nature of his writing. Skitz missed out on the first two thirds of the year, making a return in August, while Oliver was bring Bearly on a near weekly basis meaning that unfortunately, we have to say farewell to Goonie Walsh.




    Canadian Crippler vs Eldandy


    Eldandy is out first, Canadian Crippler is out second.

    The two lock up and Crippler with an arm lock STO, the two go back into a test of strength and CC keeps control, he transitions into a rear waist takedown. Dandy fights back and slams CC on his face, Dandy with a couple stomps to wear down Crippler, Dandy follows with a snap DDT, the two trade shots but Crippler hits an arm drag and goes to work on Dandys shoulder.

    CC with a bul-plex, Crippler taunts and goes to get Eldandy up but Dandy with a poke to the eye that the ref doesnít see, Eldandy with a neckbreaker. Eldandy follows with a Russian leg sweep, Crippler with a drop toe hold to get back to his feet, CC with a running senton to the downed Dandy. Dandy back up and CC whips him to the corner, the two go to the top rope and Crippler with an arm drag off the top. CC covers


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    Kickout from Eldandy
    Crippler with a reverse atomic drop, CC gets Dandy up but Dandy sends him to the apron and dropkicks him off. Dandy heads out and hits him with a couple of strikes and kicks, Dandy with a neckbreaker and then sends him up the ramp. Dandy gets back to the ring and CC is not far behind, Dandy with a dropkick to the leg to drop CC to one knee and then into a Russian leg sweep. Dandy covers

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    Kickout from Crippler
    Dandy goes for a sliding dropkick but Crippler dodges out the way. Crippler charges for a leaping tackle but Dandy ducks him and hits another Russian leg sweep. Dandy locks in a rear chin lock, but he tries to fight out, Dandy whips him to the apron. Dandy with a big DDT on the apron, leaving CC down on the apron. Dandy with a guillotine leg drop and then he rolls back in to cover


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    Kickout by CC
    Dandy with elbows to wear down CC, Dandy gets CC up and runs the ropes, CC with a big lariat to Dandy dropping him hard. CC with an arm drag suplex and then a few elbows to the shoulder. CC with a big powerslam and then goes to lock in the crossface, he wrenches the arm hard but doesnít get it locked in as Dandy scrambles to the ropes.

    Dandy gets up in the corner but Crippler with a big splash in the corner. Dandy back up and Crippler goes to attack but Dandy sends him into the turnbuckles hard. Dandy with a big running crossbody to drop CC, Dandy locks in a rear choke but he fights out, the two end up in the corner and Dandy goes to the second rope with a tornado DDT, but CC manages to roll through and he locks in a crossface in the centre of the ring.

    Dandy crawls for the ropes, but Crippler is keeping him close to the centre, Dandy canít get out and Dandy taps out

    Winner: Canadian Crippler

    Crippler releases the hold and gets to his feet. Crippler celebrates in the ring.

    A valiant effort from Eldandy but the Crippler lived up to his name and got the submission win.


    Sometimes it is harder to decipher the rankings, other times itís easy. Eldandy is one of the easier ones, his columns were solely from before the reset and for the most part were part of the tournament that was going on at the time (I donít remember what it was), those simple facts are severly limiting as far as stats go.




    SpinMaster vs DynamiteBillington


    Dynamite is out first, SpinMaster is out second.

    Spin charges to start off but Dynamite catches him with a modified belly to belly suplex, Spin with an arm drag when Dynamite goes to attack. SM with a neckbreaker, Spin with some quick strikes to Dynamite, Spin runs the ropes but DB with a snap powerslam, Dynamite locks in a camel clutch, but Spin fights out. SM with a reverse STO, he follows with a punch to the head and then a running knee, Spin with a jawbreaker to take down Dynamite.

    Spin goes to attack but Dynamite with an arm drag, he follows with a big knee and then some kicks to the chest, DB grabs him but Spin slams him to the mat by the arm, Spin follows up with a northern lights suplex, Spin grabs the leg but DB with a big right to the face, DB mounts him with punches, Dynamite gets Spin up and hits a powerbomb on him. Dynamite keeps the legs held and hits another powerbomb.

    Dynamite poses for the audience and then goes to attack Spin, but Spin kicks him in the leg, Spin goes to attack but Dynamite whips him to the corner, the two head to the top ropes and Dynamite with a butterfly suplex from the top rope. Dynamite with elbows to the head and then an abdominal stretch, Spin fights out and whips Dynamite into the ropes, Spin nails a dropkick to Dynamite who falls into the referee taking both down.

    Spin sends Dynamite over the top rope to the floor and then sends him into the announce table. The two brawl on the outside as the ref recovers, the two eventually roll back into the ring and Dynamite with a butterfly suplex, Dynamite follows up with a big German suplex bridged into a pin.


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    Kickout from Spin
    Dynamite with a couple quick elbow drops, he lifts Spin into a vertical suplex and drops him into a facebuster. Dynamite covers


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    Winner: DynamiteBillington

    Dynamite rolls Spin to the apron and casually kicks him off the apron, Dynamite poses in the ring.


    Spin did not manage a lot of offense here; this was a bit of a one-sided match.


    Pretty average stats for the lower half of the list I guess, Spin managed some fairly standard stats across the board coming in spots ranging from 26th to 29th. But in the end, it couldn't stand up to the explosive force of Dynamite.




    Von Wrestler vs Anonymous


    Von Wrestler is out first, Anonymous is out second, blowing kisses to member of the audience and as he gets in the ring he does some grinding against the ropes.

    The two lock up and Nony takes control with a quick backbreaker, Von Wrestler quickly back up and into a hard chop lariat from Nony. Nony goes to attack but Von rolls out the way and punches Nony in the kidneys, he follows up with a quick back suplex. VW attacks the leg with a quick knee drop, he gets Nony up but eats an elbow, Anonymous lifts him onto his shoulder and spins around on the spot and into a quick slam and he covers

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    Kickout
    Nony with a quick kick to the head, he gets Von up but Von with a quick enziguri to knock Anonymous away, Von with a quick chop knocking Nony back, Von charges and slides round the back to hit a german suplex. Von gets Nony up and goes for a whip, Nony resists and whips Von himself, Nony catches VW with a samoan drop. Nony splashes himself onto his back, he rolls him over for the cover

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    Kickout
    Nony with a kick to the back, and then an elbow drop. Nony whips Von Wrestler to the corner and hits a running splash pinning the two in the corner, Anonymous grinds against VW a little and then follows with a belly to belly suplex. Nony approaches but VW trips him, Von with a quick stomp to the arm, Nony is back up, Von Wrestler with a couple of quick punches and then a big scoop slam to put him down.

    VW with a couple quick stomps, and then he locks in a rear choke. Nony powers up but VW puts him back down with a Russian leg sweep. Von with a knee to the head, Von follows up with a jawbreaker that sends Nony to the outside. Von Wrestler follows out but Nony catches him with a suplex. Nony rolls VW back in the ring, VW uses the corner to get up, Nony back in the ring and he charges, VW with a forearm.

    VW sends Nony to the opposite corner and throws him to the floor. Von Wrestler heads up top and hits a big diving headbutt to the back. Von slowly gets back up and heads to the top ropes, Nony recovers and tosses VW from the top rope. VW is sat up in the corner and Nony charges with a bronco buster, Nony covers


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    Kickout
    Nony gets Von up and lifts him but Von with an elbow to the back, Nony with one to the head, the two trade shots ending with Nony hitting an arm drag, Von staggers to his feet and Nony gets him up and hits a Samoan Driver. Nony covers


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    Winner: Anonymous

    As he gets up, Nony plants a kiss on the forehead of Von Wrestler, Nony then celebrates the win.


    Both men gave it their all here, Von Wrestler tried very stop he could but the veteran had a way around every tactic in the end.


    Not too bad a set of stats from Von Wrestler, had he come back after the reset we could have had a top ten writer here, but with only three months to go from VW was left with a low-ish score.





    And that is it for another round of the top trumps tournament, another four columnists down and we only have one of the opening rounds left. Going forward the bracket is looking like this.


    CanadianCrippler vs Oliver and Dynamite vs Anonymous, some quality matchups there, for now though it is time I bid you all a fond farewell. Iíll be back in a couple days for Elimination Chamber predictions and then back to the last round of the tourney. But for today, I hope you have enjoyed todayís column and I will see you next time.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    "will Oliver be made to taste the rainbow or will he Bearly make it through?" Great line lol.

    Bear is going to be a problem in this tournament!

    Great work, looking forward to the next entry.

  3. #3
    Lamb of LOP anonymous's Avatar
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    Enjoyed Skitz vs Oliver and the creativity you showed in writing it. I wouldn’t actually consider either of them as comedy writers weirdly. Oliver is incredibly talented and his non comedic pieces tend to be “better” than his comedic work I would say. Skitz is ummm Skitz and I’m often convinced any comedy is unintentional. I enjoyed the “match” anyway.

    I’m amazed I beat anyone given my sporadic appearances. I enjoyed the character work though.

  4. #4
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
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    Got to admit, I'm a bit like Nony - amazed I beat anyone given the irregularity of my writing. Guess we both got lucky with the draw - but now we get a battle of the part timers in round 2!

    Having said that, wrestling is proof that being a part timer makes you the odds on favourite....

    Nice work Zak, looking forward to round 2.
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