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  1. #1
    Lamb of LOP anonymous's Avatar
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    May 2018
    186 miles from Sheepster

    KOTC: Schadenfreude

    Right now, Iím in a pretty bitter mood. Iíve rewritten this column multiple times. Once, I collabed with glamourous writing about the things weíd like to see from a sexist and objective point of view. It was probably a decent column but it didnít feel right in my current mood. Next I wrote about how Iíd love to see world peace, but it came across like Iíd won a Miss Universe contest and felt insincere. And to be honest, it was. Iíd love for world peace, but my own selfish, narcissistic world is my priority. I care more for my friends, my family, and myself than for the world. And I hate myself for it. So that column was swiftly erased from memory.

    So right now, what do I want to see?

    I want to see misfortune.

    Letís start with the nicer side. I want to see the people in wrestling, who I dislike in real life, go away in a storyline sense. I donít want Daniel Bryan or Brock Lesnar to have the title anymore. Theyíre both in boring, elongated reigns which make my viewership agonisingly painful. And I want them to drop more than the title. I want both of them to vanish from my TV screens forever and never trouble me again. Iíve written columns and columns explaining my hatred of Bryan and right now, I canít enjoy Smackdown with him in. I want him to be unselfish; retire for the sake of his own health, and live happily ever after with his family. Does that make me a dick? Iíd actually wish exactly the same for Lesnar, although I could take or leave the ďhappily ever afterĒ with him. How someone with such disdain for the product has been allowed this prolonged success infuriates me. The titles in WWE deserve better than both of them.

    Iíd like Baron Corbin to be released with immediate effect. Iíd like to never have to see or hear of him again. The man has been a hoover, sucking the life out of Raw and spoiling each and every segment he appears in. While weíre there, he can take Lashley with him, as well as Lashleyís little lapdog whose sole purpose appears to be to garner X-pac heat. All three of them could have their careers ended today and it would give me a feeling of elation, not sadness. None of them improve or add any value to my viewing of wrestling and they never will. Whilst weíre there, letís get rid of all the veteran acts who donít add value. The Hardy Boys come back to increasingly diminishing pops and add no value to the WWE as a tandem or individually. Rey Mysterio hasnít been relevant in 10 years. And John Cena cares less about the WWE than Brock Lesnar right now. When he inevitably returns to ruin Wrestlemania my heart will sink another notch. Iíd take great joy in all of these people being removed from my screens, no matter what the reason.

    As for the McMahonís I want them to have no place in wrestling anymore. Year of their presence has completely exhausted me and I have reached a point where I actively dislike every McMahon. Vince McMahonís actions off screen, combined with his overexposure on television over the years have taken its toll, and the recent years have been especially hard. Iíve increasingly felt that he is as successful as he is because of otherís ineptitude, rather than his own brilliance. His other failed business projects, his crazy booking of the WWE and his reluctance to hand over the reins have left me feeling disdainful towards him. And his sonís worse. What did Shane actually do when he vanished for 10 years? Did he become a successful business mogul? Did he go to prison? Who knows. He left silently, then returned like the prodigal son, as if nothing had changed. And heís come back to ruin other wrestlerís careers, shit over what was once a very strong show in Smackdown, and treat himself as a God. Fuck off, Shane. Fuck off forever. And the less said about Stephanie, the better.

    The WWE is morally a bit shit too. Ridiculous working hours, very little time off and very little to make you feel they truly value their employers. Only the truly elite, or the chosen ones get the nice deals. Everyone else is dealt a shit hand. And I blame the McMahonís for this. They could run half the shows they do. They could have an off-season. It would give fans and wrestlers a chance to take a break from it all. But they donít. Those little dollar signs in their eyes are too appealing to consider it.

    With that in mind, would I like to see the McMahonís suffer? Would I like to see them sell the WWE if they had financial troubles or if viewership got that low that it wasnít profitable? Yes, I would. Iíd like the WWE to have completely new owners. Iíd like the WWE to be owned by people who cared about the fans, about the workers and about more than just getting themselves over. The McMahonís can fuck off and Iíd take joy from seeing them leaving the company.

    Iíd like to see TNA go bust too. A company rich in history for being bad with their workers, messing up their opportunities and barely surviving. When an old dog has too many wounds, sometimes itís time to put it to sleep. Iíd like TNA to receive a mercy killing, freeing us from the stories of its struggles, freeing its workers to forge careers where they can be paid on times and freeing the fans from having any fond memories they have of TNA get more tarnished than they already are. I loved TNA for year, sometimes more than the WWE. But every month it becomes increasingly hard to remember why, and even harder to justify it.

    Iíd like the fans who choose to act like dicks to suffer too. The ones who chant ďyou canít wrestleĒ at decent wrestlers. The ones who attend a wrestling event with a sole purpose of being disruptive. Thereís nothing better than when a wrestler responds to a fanís douchebaggery by shutting the fan up with a witty retort or proving them wrong but they shouldnít have to. Nothing makes my blood boil quicker than fan cruelty. And wrestling fans are often idiots. Thereís a mob mentality that comes from a mostly young, male, working class audience that man range from mildly irritating to downright dangerous and disgusting, and it seems sometimes, the latter group comes out. Anyone who ruins the wrestling viewership experience for everyone else should suffer.

    Schadenfreude is the joy that comes from otherís suffering. Often people who feel it have low morale themselves. Whilst Iíve said all of the above, I would say that wrestling is my solace when I have a low morale. For everything wrong with it mentioned above, I have no intention of every quitting LOP, or never watching wrestling again. The community this place has, and the joy wrestling gives me is worth worlds to me. I feel like shit. Iíve had a shitty week. And I have no idea when Iíll write again.

    But all Iíd like to see right now is a boom for wrestling, and all my former friends on LOP to come home and write again. That would give me more joy than anything else.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2018
    I've been miserable this week too, which is to blame for my trying to light a fire under you coming across as being jerky. Ever since I first read you I was captured by your uniqueness and banter- your comfort in writing in a conversational tone that just felt like friends sitting at a bar or restaurant shooting the shit. I've always admired it. And it is no different here, even if I disagree with a few of the wrestlers you mentioned, your point is a great one. I'm also feeling like most adult fans are just miserable, and no booking from WWE will fix it- we are just looking for shit to be sour about, and I think it absolutely ties into adult life being a slog in general.

    Make no mistake I'm a big fan of yours, and I am always around. I know that sounds disingenous, or cliche, but I make a good ear and shoulder, and my door (pms?) is always open if you need or want to vent or stress dump. This place is better for having you in it. And I'm rooting for you to get through this stressful time in your life asap.
    Last edited by Kleckamania; 2 Weeks Ago at 08:01 PM.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2018
    So I know that this past week has been a bitch for you, so I'm not going to pick this thing apart at all. Bad moods often times requires a place to vent themselves. This seemed like your place, at least in small part. Hope you're doing better 'Nony. I truly mean that.

  4. #4
    HUGE Member TheLAW's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Not sure what to say about this one. I know you're in a fuck it all kinda way, but this seemed a little too contradicting. You want to see a boom in pro wrestling, but you also want every major company to die a slow death. Whilst I can appreciate pain death and destruction as much as the next guy, I don't think we would reach a "boom" if every company goes boom. If that makes sense.
    You might just have to settle for AEW being an overhyped dumpster fire while WWE, TNA, and the Mcmahons just keep on keepin on.

  5. #5
    The Brain
    Join Date
    May 2018
    I always struggle a bit with negative columns, though I feel exactly where you’re coming from, especially after the week you've had. I like that you were very honest here with some unpopular opinions, sometimes we just feel the way we feel. If it makes you feel better, the old TNA is definitely dead, and I haven’t heard of any problems with current talent getting paid, though the brand remains poisoned so your feelings might not change all that much. What hit me most is wishing for your friends on LOP to come back home to write again. There are many names I met on this forum that I bitterly miss, so that really hit home for me. Glad you made the deadline, nony, and I love ya.

  6. #6
    LOP's part time glass ceiling DynamiteBillington's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Daniel Bryan: Disagree

    Brock Lesnar: Agree

    Baron Corbin: Disagree (but repackage him more like the original NXT gimmick)

    Bobby Lashley: Agree

    Lashley's Lap Dog: Agree

    Hardys: Undecided

    Rey Mysterio: Disagree, he's a great opportunity to create a new masked star to take over when he finally retires.

    John Cena: He'll be gone within a couple of years anyway. Until his eventual Rock style comeback.

    McMahons: Agree. Put HHH in charge once & for all.

    WWE Morals: Agree. Ish. The Wellness Policy & it's cover of all former contracted talent gets them major bonus points here. But the overworking of their current talent and the overworking of their fans definitely needs consideration.

    WWE Ownership: I'm not convinced new owners would be any different. After a buy out the new owners would be even more focused on profit than the McMahons and wouldn't have any connection to the industry whatsoever, so I'd fear the worst in this scenario.

    TNA: Definitely disagree. Despite what people may think about AEW, they're still probably the closest thing WWE has to competition in the US. I understand their former problems have been mostly dealt with, so lets see them get another chance on a decent TV network.

    Fans who act like dicks: 110% Agree. You should do a whole column about them.

    Wrestling Boom: Anyone here who disagrees probably shouldn't be here.

  7. #7
    You know who I am, but you don't know why I'm here
    Join Date
    May 2018
    By the time I tuned into what was going on in the thread that revealed your woes, most of the posts had been edited, so cheers to you and hope that this column helped get some of that bad ju ju out of your system. I can appreciate wrestling adding fuel to that negative fire; I had to step away from WWE to get to a happier place with wrestling so that it didn't continue its place in my world as more of a harbinger of negativity than an escape from it in the real world. The industry at large is in a good place, but damn have the choices made by WWE and others made it difficult to maintain a group of excited diehard fans/friends willing and ready to discuss wrestling at column length.

    Thanks for the boob signatures. The bouncing boobs and the Maryse photo always brighten my day.
    Last edited by The Doc; 2 Weeks Ago at 09:42 AM.
    Author of The WrestleMania Era book series, author of The Doctor's Orders columns on LOP since 2010, LOP Columns Hall of Famer, former host of The Doc Says podcast on LOP Radio (2013-2018), former LOP Raw and WWE PPV Reviewer (2006-2007), and former LOP Smackdown Reviewer (2004-2006)

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2018
    I know you struggled with getting a column out on time, so kudos for putting something of this kind of quality forward. It did feel like there were parts of it that felt the time cramp, mind. The ending was a bit abrupt and there were some issues with minor technical things (for instance, I saw multiple uses of "year" instead of "years"). All that said, even with its flaws, this was still an honest and high-quality column.

    One would think the topic would naturally lead toward optimism and idealism, so I loved how you turned it on its head and went for a wish list more trenched in depravity and vengefulness. Sometimes, it feels good to root for downfalls (to a certain degree, of course). The darkness is refreshingly honest, and as usual, you show a transparency that's more powerful for it.

    Once the train was on the tracks, it was great, but I do think that there was an even higher level that could've been reached. Though I love how you took to the topic, once we got into the execution side of things, I think things got into a bit of a wish list (almost bullet point-ish). And that there were quite a few of them, I think resulted in things leaning a little bit too much in the directions of broadness and shallowness. I got almost the sense of, "...oh yeah, I hate this guy too, throw him on the list".

    Where your column particularly shined was in the penultimate paragraph. Wrapping things up in the pure, unfiltered explanation of schadenfreude and why you relish it yet have that self-awareness about you to balance it out - that's downright powerful. It ties to your opening paragraph about flirting with the ideas of sunshine and peace, yet coming to the conclusion that you wouldn't have the genuineness if you talked about anything other than schadenfreude (...yet not going too far into the abyss). Seriously great stuff.

    Overall, I think you put forth a sterling effort given everything, and hopefully shit gets better for you, but I'd be lying if I said there weren't a few minor things that crept onto this one that hindered it from true excellence.

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